◤━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◥
Content Warning: The following piece contains heavy implications of suicide and abuse, and the two females leads are topless for the majority of it (which isn't as bad, but, y'know, covering bases).
◣━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◢
"... did you really mean that back there?"
"Hmm?" Eonel peered up from the sea of notes scattered around her on the floor, taking the opportunity to stretch her hands overhead with a small grunt. She'd gone over the same books so many times she'd practically become an expert deciphering Jin's unkempt handwriting in the margins. So many gods to study, so little time...
"About ...wanting a child?" Jin paused, strolling over to sit at the bed behind Eonel before continuing, "With me?"
"You're the one I married. Who else's child would I have?"
Jin ran her hands through Eonel's hair, enticing the elf to move back between her legs to lay her head back against Jin's stomach as she thought. "Aquaman's?"
"...Jin, love of my life, wind beneath my wings, my beautiful star-" Uh-oh. "Notwithstanding that I'm not attracted to males of any species, why in the nine Hell's would I ever bring little winged turtle demons into this world? One Kannig is enough for this world and the next."
"I, for one, think winged turtle demons would be morbidly adorable in a.. messed up sort of way."
"You're insufferable, my star."
"Yet you married me anyways," Jin grinned at her, drawing a laugh from the elf as she set herself to playing with the latter's long, flowing hair. She attempted to turn it into some form of a braid as Eonel leafed through a book to her right, jotting down cursive notes on scrap paper using one of her own feathers for a quill. Jin watched her for a time, thinking of how best to frame the question circling her mind since the tavern.
"... how come you don't have a child already? You definitely look old enough to have one."
A slight flush colored Jin's cheeks as Eonel raised an eyebrow at her, "It's the white hair, isn't it?"
"T-That's not- what.. how- You know what I mean!"
Eonel hummed a chuckle, tilting her head this way and that, seeming hesitant to answer. She piled their combined work into the book, leaving them on the nightstand before joining Jin on the bed.
"You seem good with them from what I saw with Streia, and I had to almost drag you away from that lady and her child earlier so I know you're fond of them," Jin encouraged, "Just... seems kind of weird is all."
"I'd just..." Eonel gestured vaguely at the space in front of them, "Never found the right person before. Made harder by the whole, y'know, liking girls thing."
Liar.
"Until now," Eonel smiled, taking Jin's hand in hers and bringing to her lips to press a soft kiss to them.
"And now you have me." Jin swung herself around, straddling Eonel's waist with her thighs.
The elf nodded, winding her arms loosely round the other's waist as she leaned her head on her chest. A noise stuck in Eonel's throat as her lips met her wife's, a sort of hum as she fell back against the mattress, arms held in place above her head by one of Jin's. The latter moved her hips around, pining Eonel's lower half in place.
"J-Jin? What's uh- what.. w-what are you doing now, star?"
"Something fun, I think."
Eonel blinked in confusion, flushing something fierce as Jin pressed a soft kiss to her lips before sliding her shirt off in one fluid movement. She grinned, guiding Eonel's hands slowly up her side to where her bra was clasped; Eonel swallowed, hard, fumbling with the darn thing until she managed to unbuckle it after what seemed entirely too long. Unsure of where to put her hands, she set them back at Jin's hips as the other leaned forward.
"Eonel." She received a sort of chirped noise as a response. "...Eonel, I need- I want you to touch me."
"I-I'm not.. really the hands-on learner type."
"You're not-" Jin blinked slowly, snorting as she quickly bit down on her lip to smother a laugh before it came out. "I-I'm sorry, you're not- what?"
"Your- those are lovely!" Eonel gulped, hands instinctively hovering unsure of where to take hold. "I-I just-"
"You've never seen anyone else naked in your entire life, have you?"
"I'm a child of god, my star, this isn't my forte and-"
She turned a vibrant shade of red at Jin's abrupt laugh despite her proud, puffed out chest. A lot of things seemed to be moving at once, leaving the poor elf unsure of where to look for a while until Jin waved her hand in front of her face.
"Dove," she managed between hiccupped laughs, "You know you have breasts too- right?"
Eonel tensed, feeling Jin's fingers slip underneath the hem of her shirt- her wing shot out reflexively to cover herself, brushing the hands away. "I-I would really rather you didn't."
Jin raised an eyebrow, neither trying again nor backing away, fixing her gaze on the elf until the color that'd drained seconds before returned to her cheeks.
"Eonel." The elf shrunk into the mattress at that tone of voice. "I won't continue if you want, but I'm not moving from here until you tell me why you're so adamant about covering yourself head to toe."
"W-What?"
Jin gave her a hard look, making Eonel writhe uncomfortably beneath her.
"Ah..."
The silence dragged on past the point of comfort for either, filling the room under Jin's unyielding stare. The elf wiggled around, trying through her motions to miraculously find the words that so easily escaped her. The mixture of shame and sadness that now colored her face stirred something primal in the depths of Jin's person, almost sending her racing for her daggers. She grasped at the sheets beneath them, clenching them into fists as she gave her wife an encouraging nod.
Eonel sighed, covering her face with the outer feathers of her wing, holding her hands palm up towards Jin. The former flinched when the other began to unravel the bandages wrapped around her forearm, slowly revealing a long, paled scar vertically trailing a vein on either of Eonel's arms.
"... Eo?" The concern in Jin's voice bit into Eonel like frostbite, drawing out a shaky breath from the elf as she began in a trembling voice, "I... I-I don't know my parents. Don't know who they are, or what they look like- I'm- I'm not even sure Falamir is my last name. But I must have done something- I must have- for them to just-"
She swallowed the knot stuck at her throat, unable to stop herself once everything began to spill out. "The streets- they're all I remember, and for a long time, I was alone. Lying, stealing, whatever it took- none were of too much consequence, especially when the kids came along."
"You were the oldest," Jin offered at Eonel's silence as she tried to collect herself. Not terribly uncommon she thought to herself, reaching out to stroke the feathers of Eonel's wing. It rose to meet her touch rather than shrink from it.
"I was 'posed to take care of them," her words slurred together under a slight accent foreign to Jin's ears, "but the guards took one look at Valeria's little blonde ringlets and thought we'd taken her."
"... you got separated." She'd seen it happen in the towns her kind wandered through, though it never hurt any less to hear about. Eonel gave her a pathetic nod, her entire body beginning to tremble along with her voice.
"T-They sent the younger ones off with the knights- needed new recruits or something- I-I tried desperately to make them leave my kids alone, ran after them- managed to grapple Valeria away from them even! But they hit us over the head and threw me to the ground- next thing I knew; Lilian and I were handed over to the... the priestesses." Jin coiled back at the venom with which Eonel spat the word out, like its mere mention wrought forward all the evil in the world to a physical form inches from where they lay.
Jin ducked underneath Eonel's other wing as it moved suddenly to cover her in a cocoon of feathers. A moment passed before Jin realized the muffled whimpering coming from the thick of feathers were Eonel's cries, the rest of her shaking enough to make any attempts at forming words incomprehensible.
"... Eonel."
No response.
"Eonel."
Jin stuck her hand between the wings, rummaging around until she found a hand to pull Eonel up flush against her by. She buried her face in the crook of Jin's neck, letting her wings fall limp on the bed behind them. Jin's voice was but a barely contained whisper, eyes fixed hard on the wall she faced, "Did they hurt you, dove?"
She leaned her cheek against Eonel's head, rubbing at her wings until she found the dip between them at her shoulder blades. She slid her fingers down to where about she remembered seeing them before; lashings running across the small of Eonel's back, the length of Jin's palm, tucked beneath the thick of feathers where any shirt might easily cover. She traced over them lightly, sending chills up Eonel's spine as she tightened her grip enough to draw a noise of complaint from her. Lifting Eonel's shirt until it slid up off her procured more scars littered about; some at her sides, a particular shallow one at the hip that disappeared at the pants' waistline, and what might've once been a stab wound near her right ribs.
"... were they the ones who did this to you?"
"...awful..."
Jin clicked her tongue, biting the inside of her cheek as she hummed a response, rubbing Eonel's back in slow, circular motions as one would a child. There they stayed nestled together until Eonel's crying settled to a small hiccup. Her voice was rasp and hoarse when she found it suit to continue.
"...I-I didn't.. think I'd wake up again. I.. I just took off-as far as my wings would carry me and when they gave out, I took to running. Trees are the last I remember, and... a-and then I woke up again. In a white room- bruised, sore, and bandaged but alive still. It must've been hours, b-before I got up. I thought they would still be there- but no matter how I strained, all I heard was the faint sound of metal being struck."
"Your god?"
Eonel nodded, waving her hand to beckon the satchel laying by the books to float over to them. It hurt Jin's eyes to stare at the patchwork of cloth in the semblance of a bag decorated with strange sigils and feathers; an affront to the various gods, she'd called it. Eonel rummaged around inside it, sticking her hand down to her shoulder to reach its depths and pluck out something she held for Jin to see.
"A... notebook?" It was of a faded blue leather on which golden constellations had been carved on either side, the tail ends of comets wrapped around either cover, fastening it shut.
"Something like that, it's from... y'know." She motioned up towards the ceiling, giving Jin's grin a small shrug. She unclasped the necklace from her neck one-handed, ignoring the look her wife gave her as she pressed the crescent moon charm into a peculiar similarly shaped dent near the top. The comets retreated, allowing the notebook to open with a flourish and trail of something silvery.
"Other clerics get shields or rings or magical abilities from their gods, I get... a notebook."
Despite that, she didn't look or sound terribly disappointed as she held it out for Jin to leaf through before settling back against her. Eonel stopped her at a set of drawings depicting a beautiful, slender man with high cheekbones underneath a black circle. The circle began to fill as the sketches went on, the darker ink waning as the figure become more effeminate until a woman stood underneath an empty circle instead.
"Hayes," she answered Jin's unasked question. "They change appearance as the moon does, from male to female and back again. It... They were very patient, coaxing me out of my shell and teaching me how to heal, both others and... myself."
Jin turned the page. "... and they ride a rabbit drawn carriage around?"
She could practically hear the amusement in Eonel's voice, "'s faster than you'd think."
"What's this for... exactly?"
Eonel leaned her head against Jin's neck, humming. "... I think they were concerned. It... takes a while to figure out how to live again and for what. They gave this to me a few weeks before I left, told me to fill it up with pretty things I found along the way. I wasn't sure what they meant, so for the first dozen or so pages I drew what was around me in their realm and the things their visions showed me."
A thought that'd been long since forming still tugged at Jin's mind, and seeing no better time to voice it, "When ... When Kannig suggested we leave and you take me back home, you were willing to go back to all of... this for my sake? Despite how they hurt you? I know you weren't really on your way back as you've told the others..."
Eonel nodded meekly, "The world's greatest torment would be at best a nuisance if it meant keeping you safe."
"The world's greatest- Oh my god. Dove, that's so terribly corny!"
"Wha-" Eonel gave the changeling her best faked offended face, ruined in part by their combined giggling. "I'm over a thousand years old! Most of which were spent with a god that's older than the world itself, corny old-world priestess-esque speak is the only mode I have!"
"Pretty things, huh? Am I in it?" No response, though she felt the heat rise to Eonel's cheeks. "... really?" The delight was evident in her tone, "Where?"
"One of the first things they..." Eonel cleared her throat, turning a few pages without needing to look until a sketch of Jin peered back at them, a white feather tucked behind her ear. "One of the first few things I saw after leaving their realm was... you." The tips of her ears burned and twitched as she buried her face in Jin's neck to avoid looking at her.
"Your god... told you? To find me?" A nod. "So, back at the cave, when you approached me, it was because you thought we were-?"
"Destined to be, star-crossed, soulmates- there's a number of names for it. I... I-I didn't think you'd marry me, much less that you'd talk to me or that I'd find you so soon. I think you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen, but I... don't really know how to talk to girls."
"No! You? Not knowing how to talk to girls? But you're the most eloquent person I know, dove!" Jin leafed through a few more pages, past drawings of all their party members- even the turtle- detailing some of their weapons and a separate entry for the individual yots. She stopped at a curious page towards the back of what seemed to be-
"A baby?" It seemed to be teething on someone's sleeve, beady little black eyes focused on something beyond with one of its fuzzy wings stretched out while the other caped its shoulder.
Eonel peered back at the book, lunging to close it just as Jin held it away out of reach no matter how the former struggled to reach it.
"Whose-?" The look and pout on Eonel's face betrayed enough, a surprised giggle escaping Jin as her eyes widened, "Ours?"
"I don't know- these dumb visions don't come with any explanations! I just see things and then they go in the notebook-"
"Do they have a name?"
"I don't- star, I don't even know if that's ours to begin with."
"It has my eyes." She smiled at Eonel's quickly reddening face, "And your wings."
"You don't know that."
"No, but you do, so you must also know their name."
"They don't have one- if you're so insistent on it, why don't you name the weird vision baby?"
"Hmm..." Jin thought about it for a moment, smiling to herself with a nod as she plucked the feather from her hair to scribble something down on the page before turning it to face Eonel.
"Thalion? You're naming our potential weird vision baby Thalion of all things? Really? And I'm the corny one?"
"Well, you are." She placed the feather back, turning a few more pages, "Is this going in your notebook?"
"As mesmerizing as you are, I think drawing naked figures in a god's book is sacrilegious."
"Not if it's their own cleric."
"...excuse me? I never agreed to such a thing."
"Fine, we'll compromise. You let me draw you as you are in this book, and as I do so you can tell me about these," Jin turned the book, showcasing a two page spread of a flock of kids ranging in ages, the youngest of which was a little blonde girl with defined ringlets framing her face.
"That doesn't sound like a compromise, those both sounds like things that benefit you."
"I never said it was a good compromise. I enjoy seeing you and your freckles like this, and you like talking, so tell me about your kids."
"You enjoy-" Eonel laughed, striking a ridiculous pose, "Any favorites?"
"As tempting as it for me to say your hip and shoulder freckles, I think these are probably my favorite." Jin squished Eonel's face in one hand, leaning in to pepper smothered kisses along the bridge of her nose and what remained uncovered of her cheeks. She felt the elf's smile against her fingers as Eonel moved forward to steal a kiss, breaking it with a laugh as Jin kept the notebook out of grabbing range.
Jin twirled her fingers, manifesting a pencil from thin air with a wink. "Ready whenever you are, dove."