Letters To My Love.
Alternate one shot.
Time seemed to move in slow motion. Police scattered around the house collecting evidence and taking statements. Cookie sat on the couch, numb, as people moved around her. The sound of the gun going off still ringing in her ears as she thought back to the moment, she'd pulled the trigger and killed Tracy. She tried to think of different scenarios that wouldn't have resulted in the woman's death but came up empty. She shot out of self-defence, not intent to kill but somehow unintentionally taking a life felt worse than meaning to do it.
Her gaze didn't waver from the black body bag as the coroner rolled it out of the mansion. The air felt cold as her mind sunk into a dark place. Whilst being too caught up in her thoughts, her whiskey glass slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor. The cool liquid spilled across the floor, but Cookie was too out of it to notice.
"Ma," Andre's soft voice of concern snapped Cookie back into reality. She blinked a few times before noticing her eldest son picking up the glass and grabbing some tissues to clean up the wet floor.
"I'm okay, baby," she murmured, reaching out to pat her son's cheek. Her eyes narrowed as her nose flared, angrily, at her child's bandaged arm. 'That evil bitch' Cookie thought to herself. Any lingering guilt about killing Tracy went out of the window when she remembered that she'd shot her son in her manic episode of wanting to reunite Lucious with their son. It was either her life, alongside her son's and Lucious', or a crazy crackhead with nothing to lose. Cookie didn't hesitate in taking out her out, and she didn't regret it.
She rose to her feet just as Lucious and a cop walked into the front room. Cookie avoided her soon-to-be ex-husband's intense stare and adjusted her dress bundled around her hips. There was too much to be said between the two, between Cookie holding a gun to him and his emotional profession of love. Cookie had endured enough drama to last her a lifetime.
"You're free to leave now, Mrs. Lyon. But we'll need you to surrender your passport and stay in town until the investigation is over." Cookie nodded her head, barely listening to the cop as she spaced out. "We have an officer to escort you home."
"That won't be necessary. She'll be staying here tonight." Lucious swiftly interjected.
Cookie leaned back at his exclamation. "No, I won't be, Lucious." she retorted before refocusing on the cop. "And I don't need a ride. I have a personal driver to take me back," she told them as she rose to her feet and brushed past them to get her belongings. The faster she got home, the quicker she could put this night behind her. A hot shower and a long night's sleep called her name. "If you'll excuse me," she muttered.
"Cook," she heard her husband call out.
Cookie slowed her walking and sighed. The last person on Earth she wanted to speak to right now was Lucious. After their dramatic little performance before Tracy arrived, there were festering thoughts and feelings that Cookie wasn't ready to confront yet. Especially not tonight. She turned and rolled her lips into her mouth as she watched him approach, his hands stuffed into his pockets with a facial expression of exhaustion, despair, and anguish that displayed exactly how she was feeling.
"I want you to stay here tonight." he murmured, softly. His eyes washed over her with worry. Her brows drew together.
As far as Lucious knew, Tracy was Cookie's first body and he was visibly nervous about how she was taking the revelation that she had just claimed a life, justified or not. However, Cookie also knew that he'd want to address the tender moment they had shared, and she didn't have any desire to have that complicated conversation. Lucious wasn't stupid. He had seen as he caressed her cheeks and professed his love that her feelings ran as deeply for him, as his ran for her. He'd push her to admit that she still loved him, and she didn't want to.
"Yeah, that's not happening," she grunted, scratching her cheek. He clicked his tongue, disgruntled by her curt rebuttle. "I appreciate the concern, but I'm good," she lied, feigning a bright smile to try and convince him. Lucious continued to stare at her with the same sullen eyes that told her that he didn't believe her proclamation for a second. She huffed. "Just let me breathe, Lucious, damn it!" she snapped with annoyance before she spun on her heels and continued her journey to get her things.
When Lucious went to follow her, he felt a strong hand squeeze his shoulder. He relaxed when he saw it was only Andre. "Give her a minute, Pop. You know she'd rather fight than feel."
Lucious bowed his head in reluctant agreement. "You got a key to your Mama's place?"
Andre's eyebrows knitted together. "Yes, Sir...but,"
"I just want to check on her, man," he confessed, shrugging his shoulders. "You know as well as me that the minute she gets home she's gonna try and forget this ever happened. She's gon' try and numb those feelings." Lucious muttered, knowing his wife too well. "And you and I both know you can never forget. I'm just wanna be there for my wife if her stubborn ass will let me."
Andre dropped his head in reluctant agreement. "I'll go grab them."
"Thank you, son."
Later that night, Cookie scrubbed her body redraw, but she could still feel the gun powder. She could still hear the ringing of the gun no matter how loud she turned her music up. She slumped on her couch and drank until the memory of tonight faded from her mind. She ignored messages of concern from her sons and Lucious, except Jamal; she had to convince the boy that it was the worst idea to hop on a plane and come back to New York. He didn't need to be dragged down by the usual Lyon family drama. He was living a good life with Kai in London and Cookie intended to keep it that way.
When she heard her front door knock, she muttered a curse and rose to her feet. She had a good inkling to who it was bothering her at this unholy hour. She trudged toward the door and pulled it open to see Lucious standing there with a briefcase in his hand. She looked him up and down with pursed lips after her eyes rolled skyward. Was it too much to ask to be left alone? All she wanted to do was wallow in self-pity, but oh no, Lucious just couldn't have that, could he?
"You sign the divorce papers yet?" she questioned, hiking a hand on her hip, in the hopes of pissing him off so he'd go home, and she could be alone.
"You still on that bullshit?" he retorted as he stepped around her and entered the apartment, uninvited.
She sighed, heavily, and slammed the door shut. "The hell you want, man?"
"I wanted to see how you were doing," he confessed as he turned down the music and picked up the bottles of alcohol cluttering up her coffee table.
"I'm fine." She snipped as she fell back down onto the couch.
Her husband arched an eyebrow. "You call this fine?" he questioned, incredulously. "You see all this liquor? You gon give yourself alcohol poising, Cook."
"Back off, Lucious. You ain't my damn Daddy." she hissed, palming her forehead. "What's in the briefcase? Better be them papers."
"Give it up, Cook," Lucious demanded. "I told yo' ass I ain't signing them." Cookie sucked her teeth. "I got something for you."
She scoffed. "Ain't nothing you have that I want anymore." Besides those damn divorce papers.
Lucious ignored her harsh tone. He knew she got mean when she tried to push people away. He did the same. "I love you, you know," he murmured, gently, as he came to sit down beside her.
Cookie petulantly inched away and muttered a disdainful; "Oh please,"
"And I know I don't always do shit right," he grumbled, apologetically. "Definitely didn't do shit right when you got locked up."
"Lucious, look, I ain't interested in walking down memory lane withchu."
"Cookie, just shut up and listen." He snapped, tiredly. She kissed her teeth and leaned her cheek on her knuckles, side-eyeing him. "I always thought you needed to be tough in there. Thought showing you love would just weaken you. Make you prey." He sighed, heavily, before popping open the case. Cookie peered inside and noticed a bunch of letters. "Which is why I never sent you these..."
Her eyebrows drew together. "You...you wrote me letters?" she asked, softly, her voice almost breaking at the confession.
He bowed his head. "I did, baby, I did." He took one out and handed it to her. Cookie was hesitant to touch it. It was almost like she were in a dream, but when she felt the smooth paper in her hands, reality set in and a tear slipped down her cheek. "I didn't send them because I thought they'd do more harm than good. But what the hell did I know, huh?"
"To my sweet Loretha," she murmured, unfolding the letter. "It's Mal's birthday, but it ain't much of a celebration without you. He got your letter and cried. The boy needs to man up (I can hear you shouting that it's okay for boys to sensitive). I had to get ideas from your sister on how to celebrate his day, you know I'm not good with that kind of stuff. I miss you, babe. You know I'm no good without you by my side. How's it going in there? You showing them bitches whose Boss? I love you, always, Cook. Lucious."
One moment she's sniffling, and the next her lips have sunk onto Lucious' with her arms wrapped around his neck. He gives in for a second, kissing his wife back just as passionately. But he quickly remembers that she's vulnerable, and pulls back. Lucious brushes away her tears with the pad of his thumb and smiled, softly, at her.
"Can I, uh, read another one?"
"Yeah," he proclaimed, immediately. "Do you want me to go and leave you to read them alone?" he questioned.
Cookie shook her head. "No, um, you can stay...if you want."
Lucious nodded his head. "I want to. We've got a lot to talk about."
Cookie's lips twisted. "You should probably go get the ice cream out of the freezer, then."
Lucious stood up and kissed the side of her head. "I love you." He repeated.
She took his hand and squeezed. "I know."
She loved him, too.
-
like I promised, an alternate version to 610. Vote and comment on BOTH chapters, kids!