"All the sorrows are wound up in tears.
All the tears have clung up to my eyelids."
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Sleeping is nice. It's the only way to forget everything for a while. Sleeping is tough too, especially when I can't stop thinking about you.
You were the reason for me to wake up. Now you're the reason why I cry myself to sleep every night.
I couldn't sleep today, so I went in the living room to wander but my eyes landed on the CD folder in television cupboard.
It was coated with dust. I opened it and found the CDs of some good old movies.
I thought watching them would be perfect to kill some time and take my mind off you. As usual, I was wrong.
I watched three of them. All were our favorites, the ones we have always watched together, countless of times, snuggled up with each other.
Oh! Did I tell you that I miss the warmth I got everytime we cuddled? Yes I do.
Watching them without you didn't hold any meaning. It was as if, I was just sitting there like a mannequin, seeing the scenes past my teary eyes.
I realised how important you are to me. My life is meaningless without you, just like those movies. Tears were continuously streaming down, and they still are.
I'm jealous of everybody who is with you. But I'm also the one praying for you happiness.
Then I just randomly chose another CD and played it.
Again, a very bad decision. It was a vlog. Our vlog.
The vlog we made when we visited Busan for our vacations and to meet Taehyun. We were giggling and laughing all the time.
The way you stole kisses every now and then made me cry and miss you even more. You promised that we'll go to Australia one day too.
But you broke it. You broke our relationship, our promises, our dreams, my heart. You broke it all.
The only thing left are the remnants. Our relationship is like glass. It's better to leave it broken than to hurt myself putting it back together.
But what if I really want to hurt myself? What if I really want it back as it was?
Soobin, what have you done to me..
-With love, Lia.
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"He never came. He never will."