When I got home my Mom's car was gone. She should still be at work, hopefully that's where she is at least.
I was starving since I haven't ate in over a day. God what is wrong with me? I forgot to eat yesterday after school and I skipped lunch today to go talk to Terra.
Boy was I hungry. My eyes scanned over the food in the freezer and I grabbed some pizza rolls. Perfect.
Hopefully my mom isn't making dinner because I'm about to eat this entire bag.
I preheated the oven and dragged my school bag upstairs into my room while I waited.
Suddenly I heard giggling from outside my window and a car door slam shut. I curiously walked over and peeked outside.
I clenched my fists at the sight of my mom outside of her car and that loser guy from the other night trailing behind her. What the fuck? Why wasn't she at work?
With an angry scowl on my face I stomped back downstairs to the kitchen and waited for them to come inside.
"Kieran!" My mom called as she walked in the back door.
I waited for her to round the corner and see me in the kitchen. Moments later she did and I stood there with my arms crossed and an angry look on my face.
"So... Is this your 'coworker' or something? Because last time I checked, this is what time you get home from WORK." I snapped and she rolled her eyes.
"Oh come on honey, there is nothing wrong with taking the day off once to have a little recovery day..." She winked at me but I kept a straight face.
Yeah a recovery from your serious hangover.
I looked at her 'friend' that was now coming up behind her.
"So... What did you and your 'friend' do all day? Huh?" I questioned her and she rolled her eyes.
"Kieran I'm being good don't worry."
"A good person wouldn't skip work to hangout with a loser like this fucking guy!" I snapped while gesturing towards the red eyed sack of shit beside her.
"HEY! Watch your mouth Kieran!" She tried to sound authoritative but we both knew she was lousy at being a parent.
"Whatever just go hangout with your friend somewhere else please. I don't want him here." I pleaded and she turned to the guy.
He shrugged which caused her to sigh.
"Fine, we'll go. Don't expect me home tonight." She grumbled before stomping off towards the back door.
"Real mature mom!" I shouted but she ignored me and turned the corner, vanishing from my sight.
"You're supposed to be the fucking PARENT!" I yelled feeling myself lose it as I grabbed a basket full of shit from the counter and threw it as hard as I could across the room.
It loudly hit the wall and a bunch of shit that was inside of it flew everywhere.
The back door slammed. She didn't even care. She doesn't even give a shit about how any of this affects me.
I only care so much because I don't want to see her in a bad place again. I've seen her at rock bottom and I don't want to ever see that again.
After taking a moment to calm down and relax I snatched my phone and called Harry's phone. He picked up after a couple rings.
"Hello?" He answered nonchalantly.
"Hey man, what are you doing tonight?" I asked.
"Just got invited to a party right before you called and I was actually about to call you and see if you wanted to come." He told me and I laughed.
"Well, looks like we are going to a party then. What time do you want me to pick you up?" I asked and he sighed.
"You're DD again man? Come on drink for once with me! We can shag a ride off of someone else." He begged.
"Sorry Har, I can have just as much fun on nothing at all." I told him which made him laugh.
"You know, I understand why you hate drinking.... But I'm just saying, Kyle is gonna give you shit again tonight." He warned me and I rolled my eyes.
"Eh he can fuck off! Alright, call me later when you wanna head over there."
"Cool beans man, peace." He added before I hung up.
⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕
After eating a crap ton of pizza rolls I went up to my room and face planted on top of my bed. I did not get much sleep last night, I was also pretty tired. If I wanted to stay out all night tonight I better get my body prepared to stay awake.
My hand reached for the door on the ceiling. I could smell the dust of the school's old attic.
I pushed the door but it wouldn't open. What the hell?
I frantically searched for a lock but there wasn't one.
"Kieran!" Someone yelled from upstairs on the roof.
I was pushing as hard as I could to open the door but it wouldn't budge. It's like it's stuck.
"Kieran hurry! Please!" She screamed.
I knew inside that it was Terra. What is she doing? What's wrong?
"Terra?" I shouted back. There wasn't an answer so I began slamming my shoulder against the door.
What is she doing up there?
With one last hard shove I slammed the door open and was immediately blinded by the sun. I squinted my eyes and covered my face before jumping up to get onto the roof.
My eyes immediately scanned the area for her and I froze at the sight of her standing on the edge of the building.
"Terra get away from there!" I yelled while jumping to my feet.
She turned around to look at me as I ran towards her. She had a sad smile on her face with tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Get off of there!" I begged while running faster.
Then she looked at me one last time before letting herself fall backwards.
"TERRA!" I screamed as her body disappeared and the worst feeling sunk into my chest.
Her body just vanished off the side of the building. Just like that, she was gone.
I jumped up in bed feeling myself immediately panic.
My breath was caught in my throat for a moment but I let out a heavy sigh of relief as soon as I realized that it was just another weird dream.
This one was definitely more vivid and realistic than the last. It freaked me out more.
Why the hell would I dream about Terra killing herself? That's fucking morbid.
I rubbed my face with both of my hands in an attempt to subside my tiredness.
Suddenly my phone started ringing, causing me to jump a little.
It was Harry.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hey man, you ready to come get me and head over there yet?"
"Yeah, I just woke up. I'll be over in a bit." I told him.
⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕
"Were these strange dreams common?" She scribbled something down on her notepad.
"Yeah. There was just always something about her I guess." I answer vaguely.
"Do you still dream about her?" This question catches me off guard.
For some reason talking about the past seems easier.
I hate the way I feel right now. I hate the present.
"No not really." I lie.
I do still dream about her.
The dreams haunt me and I hate them.
"So this party, tell me about it..." She looks up from her notepad and I lean back in my chair, letting the memories resurface again.
Harry got in the car with a big grin on his face.
Fuck, he's in one of those moods tonight.
"Tonight is going to be fun! God, I can't wait to get shit faced." He told me, proving my point.
"Let's just hope this time you don't wake up with another black eye." I told him causing him to laugh.
"Okay, I honestly deserved that one. That chick had a good swing though!" He joked as I shook my head at his stupidity.
A couple weeks ago at a party Harry was flirting with some bad ass chick, way out of his league. Long story short, she turned him down, he said something slightly insulting so she punched him in the face.
He honestly deserved it that cocky mother fucker.
Now all he talks about is how he will find that girl again, and how hopefully she is as hot when he's sober than she was when he was drunk.
Harry loves a chase.
Don't we all though?
We pulled up to the party and I internally groaned. It definitely beats staying home alone all night worrying about where my mom is and what she's doing, but god I hate being around drunk people.
"Kieran!" Kyle shouted as soon as Harry and I walked into the kitchen.
"What's up." I said while giving him a bro hug. He reeked of alcohol.
"Have a drink!" He yelled in a drunk voice while trying to hand me his cup.
"Ha, alright." I took the cup slowly and he grinned at me before turning around and disappearing in the ground.
I set the cup down on the counter and shook my head at his stupidity.
I grabbed an empty cup and walked over to the liters of soda, that most people would be mixing with liquor or using it to chase shots, and poured it into my cup. Fuck it, no one has to know that I'm just drinking pop.
Some may call me lame, but it's just not my thing. I don't see a huge problem with teenagers drinking responsibly and acting like idiots. But after seeing my mom as an alcoholic my entire life, I can't help but not like it. Anytime I've ever tried drinking I just didn't really see the big deal about it.
I don't like being out of control. Alcohol changes people and I guess you could call me crazy for actually liking my life and who I am when I'm sober.
Not everyone can say that.
The music was blaring as I walked into the living room where most of my friends were.
"Kieran!" My friend Jenny yelled.
I walked over and sat by her on the arm of the couch.
"How've you been? I haven't talked to you in a while." She smiled at me and I shrugged.
"I've been pretty good. You?" I asked and she shrugged as well.
"I have a bottle of vodka between my legs," She gestured toward the bottle in her lap, "So I'm doing pretty fucking great!" She cheered causing a couple people sitting beside us to laugh at her.
"You're crazy." I joked before my eyes caught sight of Miranda across the room.
It's not like I wasn't expecting to see her here. I just hope she doesn't say anything to me.
"So... I hear you were being a douche to Miranda." Jenny said interrupting my thought.
"Miranda is an awful person. I was only ever fucking her and she knew that. It's not my fault she wanted more... I would never date someone like her. She has no soul." I joked causing her to laugh hysterically.
"You got that fucking right! That girl is the biggest bitch in the whole school and everyone knows it. Everyone knew you were only fucking her because, yeah, who the fuck would date that?!" She cheered while putting her hand up for a high five.
I shook my head while laughing and high fived her back.
In that moment I noticed Miranda glaring at us.
Great.
⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕
After an hour or two everyone was getting even more drunk. A couple of people were already puking. The house felt like it was getting smaller and the people just kept coming.
Suddenly my phone was vibrating in my pocket. Who the hell would be calling me right now?
I pulled it out and frowned as I read the screen. Mom.
My finger lingered over the answer button but I hesitantly clicked ignore.
Shit, what if she needs me for something important?
If it's that important than she'll call back.
A couple seconds later it rang again. God dammit.
I quickly stood up and shoved my way through people, trying to get outside.
Once I was out the front door and I could actually hear myself think, I hit answer.
"What?" I snapped.
"Hey honey, I'm so sorry." She choked out and I rolled my eyes.
"You're drunk." I stated and she sobbed loudly into the phone.
"Please come pick me up." She begged.
"Why? What's going on?" I asked and she let out a shaky breath.
"Chad was being weird. I- I don't know. We got in a fight or something. He's not exactly who I thought he was a- and there was other things at his house. Honey I stopped myself. I didn't do it! I left the house, just for you. Now I need ya to come get me. I can't drive I'm pretty drunk." She explained and I rubbed my eyes feeling extremely tired again.
"Alright text me your location and I'll leave now. Go sit in your car and lock the door or something just to be safe okay?" I instructed her.
"Okay, yeah I'll be in my car. Oh thank you hon, I don't know what I'd do without you. You're always there." She choked out and I could tell she was crying again.
"Just text me the address." I said blankly before hanging up.
I looked all over the house for Harry but I couldn't find him anywhere. I settled for just texting him and saying that something urgent came up and that he'll have to bum a ride off someone else or stay the night and I'll get him in the morning.
It was pretty muggy out, it felt like maybe it was going to rain soon. By the time I got out to my car my mom had texted me where she was. So I sat in my car punching it into my GPS for a moment.
As I was driving through town heading toward where the highway was, it started to rain lightly.
I slowed down slightly at the sight of someone running across the road in the distance in front of me.
Who the hell is out in the rain at 1 o'clock in the morning? Considering this is a very small town and I'm a curious person, I slowed up when I drove past the person walking down the sidewalk.
It was a girl, she looked young. Suddenly I recognized that curly hair and I frowned.
Terra. What the hell is this girl doing outside by herself right now? It's raining and she isn't necessarily walking in the best side of town right now.
I pulled my car to the side of the road beside her and I noticed her walking a lot faster now.
I jumped out of my car quickly.
"Terra!" I yelled while walking fast through the grass. She jumped before turning around slowly. She almost looked relieved.
"What the hell are you doing?" I asked while jogging towards her.
"What the hell am I doing?! What the hell are you doing?" She shot back at me with a glare on her face.
"Well I was driving and I saw you walking! Why the fuck are out out here in the rain?! It's 1 in the morning!" I said while walking closer. She took a step back and suddenly I noticed something.
She had a cut on the top of her head that was dripping blood.
"What happened to your head?!" I asked worriedly while stepping toward her again so I could get a better look.
She turned around fast and went to walk away.
"Nothing! Leave me alone." She said but I grabbed her arm and pulled her back around to face me.
She immediately flinched and yanked her arm out of my grip.
"S-Stop." She muttered and I looked at her confused.
Why the hell is she so jumpy?
"Where are you walking to? I'll take you there." I decided to push off the question
of what happened for now, I knew she wouldn't tell me anyway.
"I uhm, I don't know. It doesn't matter." She muttered.
"Why aren't you at home? Terra it's raining you shouldn't be walking around and not knowing where you're going." I said worriedly as I noticed she was shaking from being cold.
I immediately shrugged my jacket off.
"Here put this on and come get in my car." I told her while handing her my jacket.
She just stood there frozen.
"Either you follow me there or I carry you. I'm not letting you walk in the rain." I was getting impatient now. She rolled her eyes before following me to the jeep.
Suddenly it started pouring so I started running to the passenger door and held it open for her.
Jesus it's cold! I ran around to my side and jumped in quickly.
"Shit it's freezing!" I said while shivering. I glanced over at her to see her shakily putting on my jacket.
I turned on the light in my car and turned to her.
"Let me see your face." I said sternly. She turned her head away from me.
"No." Her voice was soft and quiet as she looked out the window.
"I just want to see it, and clean the blood. I won't bother you about what happened, I promise." I told her honestly.
After a couple moments she slowly turned her head toward me and I cringed at the pretty deep gash on the right side of her forehead, just below her hairline. I searched the rest of her face for any other signs of injury and sure enough she had a split lip too.
My chest tightened at the sight but I forced myself to act normal about it. I slowly brought my hand up to touch the blood that was dripping down her head.
It was fresh, not dry at all.
"This just happened huh?" I asked and she didn't answer. She didn't have to.
I grabbed some napkins from my center console and dabbed it the best I could without getting too close to the cut or hurting her. The blood that was dripping is now gone but the cut still looked pretty bad. I dabbed near it and she winced suddenly.
"Shit sorry, I'm done now." I told her before throwing the napkins out the window.
"Does it hurt bad? Do you have a headache or anything? Blurred vision? Nausea? Dizziness?" I questioned.
"I'm fine." She said vaguely.
Suddenly I remembered what I was doing.
I had to go get my mom.
"Shit, I have to be somewhere. I guess you're coming with me." I stated and she sank into her seat quietly.
"So, why can't you go home? I'm guessing that's where you're running from then? Did someone at home do that to you?" I asked while driving down the road and gripping the wheel tightly.
"You said you wouldn't question me..." She mumbled and I sighed.
"Alright well I'm not taking you home then. Do you have any family or friend's houses that I could drop you off at? Where you would be safe?" I asked and she didn't answer for a moment.
"I don't have any family." She said quietly and I thought for a moment.
"Okay then you can stay at my house, I'll just sleep on the couch." I suggested and she was quiet for moment.
I looked over at her and she seemed to be thinking about the idea.
"Fine. But only because I'm desperate." She said quietly.
"Where are we going anyway?" She asked.
"I have to pick up my mom from some one's house." I answered and she nodded her head.
⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕
It was in the next town over so we arrived about 15 minutes later and sure enough my mom was sitting in her car outside of this dude's house waiting for me.
We waited for a moment but she didn't get out of the car. Does she not see me?
I even honked and there was no movement.
Panic washed over me as I jumped out of my car quickly. When I got close enough to her car I could see that she was passed out in the seat.
I opened the door and she didn't wake up.
"Mom!" I yelled while nudging her.
Her eyes rolled back in her head before she opened them and squinted at me.
They were bloodshot and she looked completely drugged up.
"What the fuck did you do?!" I yelled before glancing down at her arm.
My heart sunk at the sight of the all too familiar red needle marks on her inner arm.
"Fuck Mom, you promised!" I yelled but she barely moved. She could hardly even keep her eyes open.
"Come on, let's just fucking go." I grumbled before grabbing her upper body and throwing her over my shoulder slightly.
Jesus I hate that Terra is going to have to see this shit.
"I can't fucking believe this." I muttered while walking towards my car.
Terra jumped out of the car with panic on her face.
"Oh my god is she okay?!" She looked terrified.
"She's fine." I said with no emotion before moving the passenger seat forward and gently laying my mom down across the back seats.
"What happened to her? Is she going to be alright?!" She asked worriedly as I pushed the seat back and moved so she could get back into her seat.
"Well, that is what happens when you do drugs Terra... She'll be fine I'm just gonna put her to bed when we get home." I said before walking around to my side of the jeep and getting in.
"W-What drugs did she do?" She questioned and I sighed.
"It doesn't matter! Just make this a lesson learned that you shouldn't do drugs." I snapped at her and she sunk down into her seat, looking down.
⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕
When we got home I carried my mom in through the back door.
"Do you want me to get her some water?" Terra asked while following me into the kitchen.
"Yeah, and grab some Advil from above the kitchen sink." I instructed her before heading towards the living room to take her upstairs.
"Kieran you're so good to me." My mom slurred.
"Yeah I know mom." I answered and she brought her hand up to caress my cheek.
"I do love you honey." She said while opening her eyes.
Her pupils were extremely small. Pinpoint pupils, number one sign of fucking heroine. God dammit mom.
I didn't answer her as I was now walking down the hallway and into her room.
I laid her down and tucked her in.
Terra came in behind me with a glass of water and the bottle of Aspirin, setting it on my mom's side table.
"Are you sure she is going to be all right Kieran?" She asked and I looked over at my mom who was nodding off to sleep.
"I hope so." I said before grabbing my mom's arm, causing her to awake suddenly.
"You didn't use any dirty fucking needles right mom?" I asked while inspecting the scabs and bruises on her arm.
"Who's your friend?" She asked, noticing Terra.
"That's Terra, she's staying the night she doesn't have anywhere to go." I told her.
"I hope you don't mind... I can stay somewhere else if you'd like ma'am." Terra said quickly.
"Oh no sweetie you can stay as long as you need. What happened to your head?" She asked worriedly while blinking rapidly to keep herself awake.
"Oh it's fine I just fell." Terra answered shyly.
Shit I forgot about her head. I should clean that up better now that we are home.
"Come on Terra I need to clean your cut." I said before turning around to lead her out of the room.
"It was nice meeting you Mrs. Gallagher." She said politely but my mom was already fast asleep.
I walked into the bathroom with her following behind me.
"It's really fine, I can just wash the blood off." She told me as I started looking under the cabinet for the first aid kit.
"Sit on the counter." I said once I found it.
She did so quietly and I stepped closer to her to examine it. It's pretty deep and a nasty bruise was forming around it.
"So, how did this happen?" I asked her casually, trying to hide my anger.
"Uhm I was trying to break into my house, I got locked out. I tripped on the back step and hit my head on the railing." I could tell that she was lying. She took too long to answer.
"I call bullshit but whatever I'll leave you alone about it." I said while pouring some Peroxide onto a wipe and bringing it up to her forehead.
She was quiet as I began gently cleaning it. Not even a wince, she took it like a champ.
I glanced down and met her eyes for a moment. She quickly looked away so I kept my focus on her cut. Once I finished I stepped away from her.
"Are you tired now?" I asked and she looked at me weird.
"Not really but I could definitely go to sleep."
"Well I'm not tired. I was going to suggest that maybe you might want to watch a movie with me in the living room until you're tired and then you could go sleep in my bed and I'll take the couch." I offered and she looked at me funny for a moment.
"I don't know. I'm not dumb Kieran, I know what happens when a guy suggests to 'watch a movie'" She said and I laughed.
"As if that would happen. Girl you wish... I honestly just want to hangout. It's totally up to you. I promise I won't make a move. I'm not like that." I told her honestly and she smiled slightly.
"Okay." She agreed but before I could say anything a phone started going off.
A look of panic crossed her face as she reached for her pocket.
"I thought you didn't have a phone?" I asked and she ignored my question while
glancing down at the screen.
It said Bill. Who is Bill? I don't know any Bill's from our school.
I snatched the phone from her hands.
"Who's Bill?" I said with a smirk on my face.
"Kieran NO!" She begged while I went to answer it and she desperately reached for it.
"Terra's phone, wassup?" I answered while sticking my arm out to prevent her from taking the phone as she desperately struggled for it.
"Who the hell is this?! WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER?!" An angry man yelled into the phone. Shit... How was I supposed to know Bill was her Dad?
"Uhm, sorry... Here she is." I mumbled before quickly handing her the phone.
She looked terrified before shakily taking the phone and hanging up.
"I'm sorry I didn't know it would be your dad. Why did you hang up on him? He's probably worried about you." I asked and she sighed heavily.
"He'll be fine... He's uhm out of town until tomorrow so I can't get into the house. He would kill me if he knew I was at a boys house so it's better if I call him tomorrow." She lied. I could tell she was lying, she's horrible at it.
"Okay... So, movie time?" I decided to change the subject because if she wanted to tell me she wouldn't have lied. I can understand why she wouldn't want to tell me things. Everyone has secrets, even me.
"Let's watch a comedy." She suggested and I smiled.
"Whatever you want is fine by me." This got a smile out of her surprisingly, so I mentally patted myself on the back.
⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕
After sitting through the entire movie 22 Jump Street and laughing hysterically I turned to her.
"You ready to go to bed yet?" I asked and she nodded, looking exhausted.
So I lead her to my room.
I began searching my drawers for something she could wear to bed that would be more comfortable than leggings and an oversized hoodie.
I mean jesus we live Florida it's pretty hot out tonight for September.
"Here wear these." I threw some basketball shorts and a t-shirt onto the bed but
she was staring at all of the drawings on my desk and didn't say anything.
"These are really good." She said and I could genuinely tell that she meant it.
"Er thanks... It's stupid really I just mess around with a pencil sometimes, I don't know..." I trailed off and she breathed a laugh through her nose.
"You should go to college for art." She said while turning around to look at me.
"I-I don't know about that." I stuttered and she smiled slightly.
"Aren't you going to leave the room so I can change?" She asked.
"Oh yeah, uhm I'll be on the couch if you need anything. Don't be afraid to ask for something if you need it." I told her before leaving the room.
⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕
"Finding Terra with blood down her face, and your mother doing heroin in one night. That's a lot of stress for a 17 year old boy." She points out and I chuckle.
"That isn't even close to the worst of it."