"Si Mama?" That was my first question to the house help as soon as I reached the Ziegler residence.
"Nasa dining area na po. Ang Papa mo naman po, nandoon na rin."
I didn't answer nor smile. Nagpatuloy na lang ako sa paglakad. I couldn't bring myself to be polite. This house never failed to put me in a sour mood. It was an equivalent to the haunted houses shown in the movies except the monster here was real and it was my own father.
There weren't cobwebs hanging on the wall. No white clothes over the furniture. The entirety was well-lit and looked like a new house despite being years older than me. And yet I couldn't shake off the disdain I was feeling.
I was looking at everything through a a vindictive and cynical lens. Maybe because my perspective was bias but I was being rightfully bias. This was the place where I found out that nightmares were real.
We reached the dining area. The staff were still setting the table but my parents were already there.
"Nandito na po si Ma'am Kaia," the house help announced. It effectively caught my parents' attention.
My mother's face brightened at the sight of me. She stood up from her seat to welcome me with a hug.
"I'm so glad to see you, my darling," Mama exclaimed as she hugged me tight. That was enough for me to smile. True to the Filipino tradition, she's the only source of light in this cursed house.
"I missed you, Mama," I mumbled.
"Then why don't you visit more often?" She released me from the hug and playfully squinted her eyes to make a point.
Instead of responding, I just forced a smile. She wasn't ready to hear the answer to her question. Reluctantly, I faced my father to properly greet him.
He didn't bother standing up. I stooped down to his level for a cheek kiss. I was a banging actress but I couldn't fake my enthusiasm. Wala naman nakakita sa kawalan ng ngiti sa mukha ko kaya ayos lang.
"Good evening, Papa."
"You're not late. That's new," he noted. It wasn't a compliment. It was a jab at me.
I kept mum with my sanity in tact knowing that I was being the bigger person. I quietly sat on the opposite side of my mother.
"You know what else is new?" my father continued. I pursed my lips and readied myself for whatever would come out of his mouth. "Your rumored affair."
My jaw clenched. Of course, he summoned me for this. After all, there are only two reasons why my father would want to see me. Either he wanted me to do something or I did something that displeased him.
My father hired someone to keep an ear out on any negative news about me because he claimed it would directly affect him. I should have expected it but I was too preoccupied with trying to figure out the identity of my blackmailer.
"I'm sure it's just a baseless rumor. Right, Persephone?" my mom softly defended me. "You know how the media works."
"I have it under control," I simply answered.
"Good." Tumango si Papa. "You wouldn't want to stress out your mother, would you?"
It was a threat that he'd fulfill if things wouldn't go his way. I knew it very well.
I clenched my jaw and balled my fists tightly, trying to hold in the scream that was begging to escape from my throat. I counted until I finally calmed down and answered for nth time in my life, "Yes, father."
🍷🍷🍷
Unknown Number:
Time is ticking.
I stared hard at the screen of my phone. If I could materialize fire with my gaze, my phone would have been set into ashes by now.
Tomorrow was the deadline that was given to me by the blackmailer at hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin alam ang gagawin ko. I hated feeling helpless. It was funny how I was still not used to it when I'd been helpless all my life. All thanks to my controlling father.
I hated it so much. I hated how someone had a card against me. I hated that I was being manipulated again and I couldn't do anything about it because of everything was at stake. It would affect everyone that I cared about.
I couldn't go to the police because then they would have to investigate about my affair with Hadeon. I couldn't hire a private investigator because I don't have connections to that world.
Ang tanging meron lang ako ay hula kung sino 'yon. From what I heard, a lot coveted the role but one person stuck in my mind for some reason. Si Asia.
It was absurd to suspect that it was Asia because she was my friend. Kung tama ang pagkakakilala at pagkakabasa ko sa kanya, hindi niya kayang gawin 'yon. She was too sweet to be dubbed as an evil mastermind of all of these.
The photo was taken the night I went to the club because I found out it was Hadeon's birthday. I went there with my friends and I didn't remember seeing anyone I knew aside from them.
Could it be that the person blackmailing me was one of my friends? They were there, they knew my number, and they knew about the Dream Girl role.
No. It couldn't possibly be one of them. After all, they were my friends. We were solid.
What if it was someone else around me? Maybe not my friends but someone from our circle. Maybe an acquaintance. Who could it be though? And what could be the real reason why they wanted me out of the movie?
Maybe the person wanted to replace me from the role. That could be the strongest motive. Having me out of the picture wouldn't be a guaranteed win but at least they'd have a chance for the role. Did that mean whoever would get the role could be the culprit? Hindi ba masyadong obvious 'yon kung ganoon nga?
Or maybe the blackmailer was just doing it for fun. Maybe they just wanted to make me suffer. Baka gusto lang niya talaga akong mawalan ng project. Did that mean that this wouldn't be the last time that this secret would be used against me? Maybe. Maybe the only time that they'd stop would be once I was out of projects and completely gone from the industry.
But who? Who would go to the extent of extorting me out of a movie role?
"Kaia," I heard someone whisper, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I blinked hard and my brain slowly processed where I was. Wala na ako sa dressing room at hindi na ako nakatitig sa phone ko.
I was standing in the middle of the set which meant we were in the middle of the taping. Kasama ko si Rowan sa eksena at mukhang siya ang tumawag sa pangalan ko. I must have spaced out.
"Cut!" sigaw ni Direk. "Kaia, ano na?"
I flashed an apologetic look. "Sorry, Direk."
"I'm not happy with your performance for the past days, Kaia. Work fatigue ba 'yan? Gusto mo bang mag-one week vacation?" tanong ni Direk. I could hear the disappointment from her tone.
"Hindi po. I'm fine. I'll do better," sagot ko. I wasn't gonna apologize again. I already apologized the first time.
Dismayadong umiling si Direk. "Ten minutes break muna tayo." Tumayo siya mula sa pwesto niya at naglakad palabas ng set. She was probably going out for a smoke because I stressed her out.
The crew scattered like nothing happened and I wasn't scolded in front of everyone to see. I massaged my temples to soothe an ailment that wasn't there.
"You okay?" Rowan asked.
I brought down my hands and nodded. "Yup. I'm fine."
"Really?" His eyebrows raised in skepticism. "You seemed distracted these days. Do you have a problem? LQ kayo ni Gio?"
I shook my head. "I'm fine, Rowan. Kulang lang sa tulog. Thanks for the concern."
"Sure? Alam mo naman kung may problema ka, madadaan natin 'yan sa ma-boteng usapan."
I blankly stared at him. Tinawanan niya lang ako. I took that as a sign to leave him and go to my dressing room to rest for a bit. Sumunod agad sa akin sila Emma at Darcy.
"Okay ka lang ba, Seph?" tanong ni Darcy. "Masama ba ang pakiramdam mo?"
Umiling ako. "I'm fine."
"May gusto ka bang pagkain, Kaia?" tanong naman ni Emma at pinagbuksan ako ng pinto sa dressing room.
"No thanks." Umiling ako at dumeretso lang sa pagpasok.
"Seph!" sigaw ni Jai nang makita ako. "May nasagap kaming chika!"
Darcy cleared her throat behind me. That caused Jai and Lane to look at her. Umuwang ang mga labi ni Jai na parang may naintindihan.
She looked at me again and sheepishly smiled. "Charot. Wala kaming nasagap na chika."
I normally didn't seek out gossips. Madalas ay kusa na lang nilang kinukwento sa akin ang mga ganap sa paligid at mga issue tungkol sa akin. If it wasn't for my situation now, I wouldn't have bothered asking but I needed to know. Knowledge is power.
"What is it?" I asked.
Jai bit her lip. She glanced behind me. I wasn't sure if she was asking for help or for permission.
Nang 'di pa rin siya sumagot ay nilingon ko na rin ang dalawang nasa likod ko. I caught Darcy with her eyes opened wide as if it meant to threaten Jai. Pinapungay niya lang ang mga mata nang tumama ang tingin niya sa akin at nagpanggap na inosente.
Umiling ako at ibinalik ang tingin sa aking makeup artist. "Spill it, Jai. I want to know the tea."
"Hindi naman masarap yung tsaa, Seph. 'Wag na lang. Hehe," sagot niya.
"Isa," bilang ko.
"So, ayun nga kasi... Lane, pasok." Tumuro si Jai kay Lane na prenteng nakaupo sa vanity chair.
Lane sneered at Jai. "It's just a really nonsense rumor that's creating a small buzz among your exclusive club of haters. Jai's a member."
Kumunot ang noo ko kay Jai.
"Nag-s-spy lang ako, ha. Sabi nila 'di ba, keep your friends close and your enemies closer," depensa agad ni Jai.
"Anyway!" Lane cut off. "There's a rumor that you have an affair with a non-showbiz personality."
Wala akong naging reaksyon. That didn't surprise me anymore. Lumabas na ang issue na 'yon sa maliit na entertainment news website kaya kung may magta-tyagaang maghukay ay makikita nila 'yon.
Itinuloy ko ang paglakad para makaupo sa maliit na couch.
"Nakakatawa nga. Sa sobrang busy mo naisip pa nila na may time kang magkaroon ng lalaki. Ang boboba. Papaniwaalan kung anong gustong paniwalaan," nakangiwing sabi ni Lane.
"Meron akong nabasang tweet na may maglalabas ng proof bukas," si Jai naman ang nagsalita.
That one got me cold to my feet. I looked at their reactions one by one. Emma and Darcy's foreheads were wrinkled. Lane looked like she just heard something absurd.
"They're obviously bluffing," Lane scoffed.
Tumawa si Jai. "'Di ba? Aabangan ko nga tapos aawayin ko kapag walang napakita."
"Alam niyo, kayo? Tigilan niyo na yang pagsagap ng tsismis. Delete mo na 'yang troll account mo, Jai. Nakakasira ng buhay 'yan," pagalit ni Darcy.
"Mas mabuti na yung aware sa happenings 'no. Syempre, hindi naman tayo papayag na inaaway ang Seph natin," sagot ni Jai.
"True," pakanta na sambit ni Lane.
They moved on to another topic while I remained silent on the couch. My mind was stuck on what Jai said. Paano nalaman ng ibang tao ang tungkol doon? At talagang 'yong mga taong gusto pa talaga akong bumagsak.
It could be a bluff. A hater who was incredibly talented and decided to manipulate some images just to spite. But it could also be a warning from my actual dementor. Siya na mismo ang nagsabi sa akin na sa oras na hindi ko mabigay ang hinihingi niya, ilalabas niya ang sikreto ko.
By the end of the day, I was jaded. I feel so pressured and I was carrying too much. Pressure from my work. Pressure from making sure that I was giving a stellar performance. Pressure from my own father. Pressure from the unknown blackmailer who was giving me hell. Pressure from the time that was running out.
I had been carrying this problem for a week but it had never felt this heavy. I never broke down before but with the load that I was carrying, it was a tempting thing to do.
The lights were already on when I entered my unit. I heard the murmurs from the television coming from my living room and my worries slowly faded away. My heart, as if energized, worked double time.
The door automatically closed behind me as I made my way to my living room. Nawala ang tunog ng television.
My mood brightened when I finally saw Hadeon. Bukas pa rin ang television pero mukhang ini-mute niya 'yon bilang paghanda sa pagdating ko. He was looking at my direction, already expecting to see me.
"Welcome home, baby," he softly crooned. His voice softness reflected in his dark brown eyes. Its softness made me feel soft, too.
I dropped my bag and hurried my way to him. I straddled his lap and he welcomed me with a hug. Just like that, my mood got better. Just like that, I had forgotten how terrible this day was. Just like that, I was okay.
I buried my face on his neck and hugged him tighter. Siya ang pahinga ko matapos ang nakakapagod at nakakaubos na araw. He wasn't just an escape anymore. He became my home.
How could I let him go?