Three Weeks Later
I look at my reflection in the mirror of my bathroom. I look like a caveman, I haven't shaved since she left. I didn't have anyone to look handsome for. Some of the people I did business with say they like the new look that also consists of a moustache. But I hated how I look now. My face had a constant frown.
I tried looking for her but she made it virtually impossible. No one knew where she went. She left no bank traces, no phone traces, nothing.
I look in the cabinet above the sink and took the shaver out of it. I plug it in the socket close by. I look at my reflection. My heart is breaking but I will not make it show any longer. I've always been the kind of guy that held on to my integrity. I never let anything get in my way. I love her and maybe will always but I'll not let that love make me weak. I'll be stronger because of it. I'll remember the mistake made and it will make me stronger.
I lift the machine to my face and start taking the hair off my face. I need to get back to myself. When I was confident about myself. When I showed no emotions.
My doorbell rang suddenly causing me to cut myself accidentally. "Shit." I placed the shear on my counter and wrapped a towel around my waist and ran quickly to look who was at my door at this time of night. I ran down the stairs with my hands at my side gripping the towel.
I open the door to see the face that hasn't left my thoughts in weeks.
"Kalliyah"
Kalliyah's Pov
I looked at him not knowing what to say. He looked good like he hasn't been in any pain. He was nicely shaved and he smelled good. Has he moved on? Is another girl in the house with him, why does he look so hot?
"Kalliyah," I lifted my gaze to his brown eyes, he sounds shocked that I'm here. I'd be too if I were him. I didn't exactly leave things friendly; I was mean and selfish. I was only thinking of myself but I had every right to be.
"Can I come in?" I found myself asking. It's not like I want to stay out here in the cold night air in my situation.
He looked at me for what it seems as it was ages until he nodded his head. He moved to give me a way to pass the door. I slowly walked past him into the house that I miss very much. I walked to the living room and took a seat in the couch that lay in front of the fireplace. He was still standing looking down at me, not saying a word.
"Can you please sit down?" I ask slowly.
He lifted his hands and scratch his head. "I should go and put on some clothes first." I look down at his bare chest.
I nod and he left.
I look around the house I use to 'live' in. The house shared many memories, happy, sad, excitement and love. I miss it here. I miss everything in this house. Especially him and that's why I'm here. I'm here to get back my baby, my man; if he's willing to have me back. It seems that he has moved on with his life, maybe found another girl better than me or probably he just has forgotten about me.
I haven't forgotten him though. He's the first thing I think about when I wake and last when I go to bed. I still love him and not one day my mind hasn't drifted to him and how he treated me with love when my memory was gone. How he told me he loved me multiple times but I never repeated it once until I thought I had lost him. Lost everyone. But the question that I need the answer to is Does he still love me? Does he forgive me for hurting him for making him cry? Will he take me back?
What he did was awful but he begged for my forgiveness and I didn't him. Now it's my time to ask him for forgiveness.
I need him. I need Alex especially now.
I sat down looking into space until I saw Alex taking a seat in the one diagonally from me. When he sat down he held both of his hands together not looking at me. I didn't know what to say so I stayed silent looking on his garment which was nothing fancy. He's wearing a grey plain T-shirt and sweat pants.
Grey. Where is Grey?
"Where is Grey?" I voiced my thoughts.
"Probably in the basement," he answered trying to keep his sentences short.
"Oh, that's good. I'm glad he's okay. He's probably happy here. Happier than I ever made him with all the nice dog food you can afford. I could never.."
"Are you here to discuss the dog or to talk about us because I'm confused?" Alex interrupted. I look at him and swallowed. How do could I bring up the past and not feel bad?
I'm happy that he even said us which meant there probably is still an 'us'.
"No, I'm not here about the dog, I'm here about us." I swallowed as I repeated his word. I bent my head looking at my hands. I wasn't really sure what to say next because he didn't seem like he wanted to start and build a conversation with me but at least I can try. Try and make things better between us.
"I'm sorry." my apology came out slower than I expected. "I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for making you cry. I wanted you to feel the way I felt when you pushed me out of your house. I was more than hurt. I felt like damaged goods and I wanted you to know how it feels to have someone you love hurt you. Do you know the hurt I was when you kicked me out? Do you know it felt when that suitcase hit me? It hurt like hell, I felt like I wanted to die and maybe I did. You hurt me, Alex, you hurt me." I wiped the tears off my cheeks with the back of my palm.
"I know! I know. I know I hurt you and I'm sorry. I told you I'm sorry over and over. Why can't you forgive me? Please forgive me." he pled from his seat.
"I do. I forgive you and I understand why you did it. I understand now why you did what you did. I forgive you. But do you forgive me? Can you forgive me for hurting you?" I tried my best to not break down completely in front of him. I can make the tears fall but I will not breakdown.
He shook his head and pause. My heart rate increase, he doesn't forgive me.
"There is nothing to forgive. You didn't hurt me, I hurt myself. I hurt myself when I didn't trust. I hurt myself when I let my guard down. I still fell for you even when I thought you might have been the one my father slept with. I still fell and so when you didn't forgive me, it was my fault. My fault for falling in love with you. You didn't hurt me, Kally. I hurt myself. I hurt myself when fell in love with you. Please forgive me."
"Are you still?"
"Am I still what?" he asked confused.
"Are you still in love with me?" I bent my head afraid the answer might be no.
I heard him sigh but didn't answer. My heartfelt like it was shattered in a billion pieces, he doesn't love anymore. Of course, he doesn't, he was a fool to fall for me in the first place. I can't believe I came here hoping and praying that he still feels the same way. Of course, he doesn't love it anymore. I'm no longer his heart and that hurt. That hurt a lot.
"I never stopped." the words didn't register to me clearly at first so I lifted my head to look him in the eyes.
"What did you just say?"
"I said I never stopped loving you. I haven't stopped. Will you forgive me?" he was looking in my eyes.
"You haven't?"
"No, you're still my heart. There is not one day that I don't think about you. I try not to, hell I try drinking to get the pain away but nothing works. It all comes down to me seeing your beautiful face in my thoughts. I just can't help myself. I can't help that I'm madly, truly and deeply in love with you.
I wipe the tears from my eyes and tried to smile. "I love you too and I never stopped loving you, not once I didn't wake up thinking about you or go to bed without thinking about you, not dreaming about you. It's only you. I'm so sorry I called you a fool if you are a fool. I am too. Because only fools fall in love right?"
He smiled and got up from his seat and came in front of me.
"We are both fools." I laughed and he smiled at me.
"So are we cool?" I asked not really sure where we stand.
"Do you forgive me?" he repeated.
I nod and he smiled.
"Can we go back to being normal?" he laughed at words.
"Normal? Baby, we were never normal."
"Well, that's true." I agree and smiled.
Alex came closer to me. Placing his forehead on mine, looking in each other's eyes. He lowered his lips to mine in a tender kiss. The kiss that he was free to do because I'm finally his forever. When the kiss was to be deepened I pulled away.
I took a deep breath while Alex looked at me confused. "Is everything okay?"
I smiled. "Everything his perfectly fine, I just wanted to tell you something."
"Tell me what?"
"Well, I'm going to have our baby."
"What?"
"I'm pregnant. I found out two days ago and I couldn't keep it from you. I didn't know my biological father and I don't want that for our baby. I don't want to cry myself knowing that I make a mistake with not forgiving you because I do love you. I do, very very much."
Alex smiled at me. "We're going to have a baby. We're going to have a baby!." he jumped up in joy. "I'm going to be a father!"
He laughed and hugged me tightly. I couldn't help laughing myself.
"You're happy?"
"Happy? I'm overjoyed." he looked in my eyes and leaned closer. "I love you and I'm happy that we're going to have a baby. Thanks for giving me another chance. I don't deserve you."
I smiled at him. "I love you too, very much."
"I love you more than you can imagine."
"Not likely."