Chapter 32
Francine's POV
Pumunta ako sa pinakamalapit na playground.
I saw someone in the swing.
Likod pa lang kilalang kilala ko na.
Lalapitan ko na sana siya.
"You know how much I love you, please give me this chance.... Jean.." I heard him sigh.
"Ikaw ang girlfriend ko..." -Brix
Ang sakit marinig non.
"Okay Jean. Sige. Bye." Binaba niya na yung call.
Di ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. Tumalikod na lang ako at aalis na.
"Francine?" I heard him say. Napapikit ako. It feels good to hear my name lalo na kung galing sa kanya.
Humarap ako wearing my fake smile.
Nilapitan niya ko.
God knows how much I love this guy.
"A-anong ginagawa mo dito?" Sabi niya.
"Ahhh. Kasi ano. Nakita ko kotse mo sa coffee shop kaso wala ka pa kaya nagbabakasakaling andito ka. Hehe" sabi ko.
"Ahhh. Sorry ah." -Brix
Sorry? Sorry dahil nasasaktan akong iba ang mahal mo?
"Drama mo." Sabi ko then umupo muna sa swing. Sumunod siya.
We were silent.
Nakakabingi. Ano bang sasabihin ko?
"Mahal na mahal mo siya no?" Sabi ko. Shems! Ano bang sinabi mo Francine? Malamang gf eh. Tss.
"Sino?" -Brix
May iba ka pa bang mahal??? Tsss. Labo din neto eh.
"Si Jean"
He did not respond.
"Sorry narinig kasi kitang kausap siya. Narinig kong nag I love you ka sa kanya. Ang swerte niya na mahal mo siya." Kasi madaming gustong lumugar sa pwesto niya. Hayyy.
"Swerte din naman ang taong mamahalin mo Francine." He look at me.
Here goes my heart. Beating like a drum.
Umiwas ako ng tingin. Bakit ang awkward awkward namin.
Francine! Tell him what you feel kahit basted go go go na. Kesa naman iregret mo na hindi mo man lang sinabi nararamdaman mo bago ka umalis!
Okay Go. Im ready.
"I love her." Sabi niya.
Napatingin ako sa kanya at siya din sakin.
He smile. "Si Jean."
I did not respond. Binabawi ko na. Ayoko na marinig.
Umiwas ulit ako ng tingin. Tumingin na lang ako sa kawalan.
"She was there when I was in my confusion and weakness..." He pause
"She gave me love when I was seeking love..." He pause again.
He look away pero ako tinitigan ko siya. Bakit pakiramdamko nahihirapan siya.
"I never thought na magiging girlfriend ko siya. Na susuyuin ko siya at sasaluhin niya ko. She knows Im in love with somebody else but still she accepts me and thats why I love her with all my heart." Sabi niya.
I can feel his emotions. Mahal na mahal niya nga si Jean. Pero before Jean may mahal pa pala siyang iba. Ouch! Yun ba yung girl na kinukwento niya sakin? Kelan ba na magiging ako?
Tinignan niya. Waiting for me to react.
What will I say, sinasaktan niya lang kaya ko sa pinagsasabi niya.
"Yung girl before Jean, sino siya?" Yun ang lumabas sa bibig ko. Bakit ba? Im curious sa buhay niya no.
Umiling lang siya then he smirk.
Sino nga yon?! Amp.
"Anong nangyari? Kung mahal mo yung girl bakit si Jean yung pinili mo? I mean, di ka ba niya gusto?" Sabi ko.
"I never had the chance to tell her what I feel towards her, Kasi feeling ko mahal niya pa yung taong yon." -Brix
*dugtug dugtug* wag assumera Francine kaya ka nasasaktan eh. HINDI IKAW YAN!
"Pero kahit na. Feeling ko dapat sabihin mo sa kanya nararamdaman mo para no regrets?" Sabi ko.
I heard him chuckle.
Is he drunk? I mean he's saying weird stuffs.
Tumingin ako sa paligid and I saw 3 bottles of hmmm.... Mukhang vodka. Lasing nga siguro? Mukhang may problema siya.
"Bakit ikaw ba, kung nasa sitwasyon kita, ganon ba gagawin mo?" Sabi niya.
Ito na ba to? Go Francine.
I look straight into his eyes. Hinawakan ko yung pisngi niya.
"Ill tell him..." Namumuo yung luha ko.
"Simula pa lang noon, ikaw na yung gusto ko. Simpleng crush oo pero di ko alam kung pano mo nagawang baguhin tong puso ko. Na kahit anong gawin ko ikaw lang yung sinisigaw neto. Na kahit sinong lalaki kahit yung past ko pa, taob sayo. Ikaw lang kasi yung nakakita sakin nung mga panahon invisible ako, ikaw lang kasi yung umintindi sakin nung mga panahong lugmok ako at ikaw lang kasi ang nagligtas sakin mula sa misery ko. Ikaw kasi yung nagiisang hero ng buhay ko......." Sabi ko na patuloy ang pag agos ng luha ko.
Konti na lang Francine nasasabi mo na sa kanya.
He was just staring at me.
"And that someone is---" di ko natuloy ang sasabihin ko.
"Brile? Is that you? Brile--oh my gosh. Andito ka pala Francine?" Biglang sulpot ni Jean.
Mukhang hinahanap niya si Brix kasi nakapajama siya.
"Jean, w-why are you here?" Sabi ni Brix habang tumtayo.
Pinunasan ko yung luha ko.
Lumapit si Jean kay Brix para icheck siya.
"Nung naabutan ko siya para siyang lasing." Sabi ko.
"Uminom ka nga Brix." Sabi ni Jean
"Di ako lasing Jean. Im okay." Pageexplain ni Brix
Ang sakit sakit makita sila ngayon na ganito.
Tumingin si Jean sakin.
"Okay ka lang ba Francine, bakit ka umiiyak?" -Jean
I fake a smile.
"Yup Im fine, nadala lang ako sa kwentuhan namin ni Brix. Diba Brix?" Sabi ko na tumatawa pero a fake one.
Conceal conceal. Puro ka na lang conceal!
"Ahhh. Alam mo Brix hindi ka pwedeng magdrive ng ganyan, halika pahupain mo muna yang alcohol sa katawan mo." Sabi ni Jean na hawak hawak na yung kamay ni Brix.
"Uhmmm. May gig ako today actually. Kanina pa nagstart. Pwede si Brix don, order na lang muna siya ng coffee." Sabi ko.
Bad suggestion Francine! Alam mo namang nasasaktan ka pag andyan silang dalawa nagpapakasakit ka dyan!
"Ahh kaso marami pa kasi akong gagawin eh. If you like hatid ka na lang namin ni Brix. Ito din si Brix, iuuwi ko muna. Painom inom pa eh. Tara na." Sabi ni Jean na papunta sa kotse niya.
"Kayo na lang ni Brix. Malapit lang naman yung shop eh. Chaka nagpapahangin pa ko." Sabi ko
"You sure about that?" Sabi ni Jean.
I just nod.
Papunta na din si Brix sa kotse ng hawakan ko yung kamay niya.
Napatingin siya sakin.
"Uhmmm... Yung kaninang sinasabi ko sayo. Actually yung taong yun is ik--" di ko na naman natuloy.
"Brix! Tara na?" Sabi ni Jean.
Tumingin si Brix kay Jean then sakin pati sa hawak ko.
"Im sorry, shes calling for me." Sabi niya then kumalas siya sa hawak ko.
Doble yung sakin. Iniiwan niya. I can see him walking away from me.
Tumulo yung luha ko habang sumasakay si Brix ng sasakyan.
"Ikaw yung taong tinutukoy ko Brix. Gago ka! Manhid ka. Ikaw yung mahal ko. Ikaw." Bulong ko sa sarili ko.
Kumaway na si Jean. I saw Jean hold hands with Brix bago niya paandarin yung sasakyan then umandar na nga.
"I love you. Brix." Bulong ko habang patuloy na umaagos yung luha ko.
----
Bumalik ako ng shop.
"Bumalik ka din. San ka galing bakla?" -Lea
"Okay ka lang ba Francine?" -Sabielle
I squeeze her hand. Then umakyat na ko sa stage.
"Sorry at natagalan akong makabalik. Hmmm. Nagpahangin lang. Medyo masama na kasi pakiramdam ko. Before Ill end this i just want to say thank you everyone for giving me this night to tell you what I feel and for joining me before I leave going back to France. It is an honor for me to sing to all of you. And so the last songs Ill be singing is a bit senti but bear with me guys. Hehehe. I dedicate these songs to the person, well his not here but Ill tell it anyway, to the person whom save me from all my heartaches and for being the Hero of my life. I never got the chance to tell him what Im feeling towards him, I guess ayaw ng tadhana. Di ata kami meant. Hehehe..." Pinipigilan kong maiyak pero namumuo na yung luha ko sa mata.
"Pero at least diba, hayyy... I just want to tell him I love him even though he's happy with someone else."
I strum the guitar.
Maybe by King
There I was waiting for a chance
Hoping that you'll understand
The things I wanna say
As my love
Is stronger than before
I wanna see you more and more
But you close the door
Why don't you try
To open up your heart
I won't take so much of your time.....
Im thinking about all the memories we shared. All the laugh, the cry, the stories... We could be so much better pero ito na lang ata yon.
Maybe it's wrong to say please love me too
Coz' I know you never do
Somebody else is waitin' there inside for you....
Maybe its wrong to love you more each day
Coz' I know she's here to stay....
But I know to whom you should belong....
I believe what you said to me
We should set each other free
That's how you want it to be....
repeat II then chorus....
coda:
But my love is strong
I don't know if this is wrong
But I know to whom you should belong........
"To end the night, This is my last song."
Fix you by Myk Perez
Hmmmm, Mmmm
Sleepless nights, never ending fights
And close your eyes and you kept thinking twice
It's alright still right here with you
Know I'll never let you down
So hush hush hush dear
Coz everything is gonna be fine now
Oh ohhh
When you're down, I'll cheer you up
When you're crying, I'll make it stop
When you want to forget your regrets
I'll try to fix you.
When you're cold, I'll hold you tight
Whisper softly that it's alright
When you want to forget your regrets
You can count on me to fix you
Fix you, fix you
Count on me to fix you
He let you down
He never did try in the first place
I know that you already hate this mess of
I'll make sure that you are doing ok
And I'll make sure you are smiling
So trust girl
So hush hush hush dear
Coz everything is gonna be fine now
Fine now
When you're down, I'll cheer you up
When you're crying, I'll make it stop
When you want to forget your regrets
I'll try to fix you.
When you're cold, I'll hold you tight
Whisper softly that it's alright
When you want to forget your regrets
You can count on me to fix you
Know that I'm better
I'll never leave you not ever
You can cling to me, I'm right here with you
I'm right here, I'm right here with you
Ohhhhh ohhh
When you're down, I'll cheer you up
When you're crying, I'll make it stop
When you want to forget your regrets
I'll try to fix you.
When you're cold, I'll hold you tight
Whisper softly that it's alright
When you want to forget your regrets
You can count on me to fix you
Fix you, fix you
I ended the song.
Tumayo na ko then lumabas na ng coffee shop.
I wipe my tears pero paruloy na umaagos yung luha ko.
"Francine" I heard my friends calling me pero di na ko lumingon. Im sorry guys.
Masakit lang ngayon. Hayaan niyo muna kong umiyak.
Bukas promise bago ko sumakay ng airplane magiging okay ako.
Tumakbo na ko papuntang bahay tapos ay humiga na sa kama ko.
----
4 am in the morning and someone's knocking on the door.
"Francine, di sila umuwi para lang sayo." Sabi ni Mommy Belle.
Bumaba ako para silipin kung ano yung sinasabi ni Mommy.
"Frans." Sabi nila.
"Sorry kagabi guys, I was just..."
"Shhh. No need to explain. We felt what happen. Were here to be with you before ka lumipad ng France." Sabi ni Sabielle
"Kayo talaga. Pero please wag kayo sasama sa paghatid sakin sa airport ah. The more na masakit eh chaka the more na mamimiss ko kayo." Sabi ko.
They just hug me.
Nagbonding lang kami ng kaunti then umuwi na din sila maliban kay Ate Kai.
"Ate Kai." Sabi ko
"Ill just miss you. Dont worry about anything. Ako na bahala." Sabi niya
"Sasabihin ko na dapat sa kanya eh. Andon na eh. Pero dumating si Jean. Parang nagkaron ng pilian. Ako ba o si Jean at si Jean ang pinili niya. Natalo ako. Pero okay lang kasi at least di ko man nasabi lahat sa kanya, I know he'll be doing fine. Magmomove on ako sa France." Sabi ko
"Di pa siguro right time?" Sabi ni Ate Kai habang niyayakap ako.
"Di pa siguro time para marinig niya na mahal ko siya..."