I made it back to Nate's place that afternoon feeling a bit dazed. Peter had spent the rest of the day outlining the basics of my new job. I saw so many pieces of paper with apparently important information on them that they all became a blur to me. There were numerous coloured folders that all had different meanings, but I just couldn't remember them all!
He took both Adele and I on a tour of both the factory and the office. The factory had been interesting to say the least. I almost came to blows with a most arrogant arse of a man. He was even worse than Stanford, which was certainly saying something. Still, it had kept Peter amused for the rest of the day.
Now as I flopped back onto Nate's couch, I pondered the wisdom of my decisions. I stopped my mental complaints almost instantly, when Nate kneeled in front of me. He tugged my heels off, and I wiggled my toes with relief.
"Please tell me that I can wear sneakers to my new job, oh boss man." I moaned as Nate rubbed a hand along my ankle.
"Yes, unless you're on the factory floor. You then need to wear the boots Pete organised for you today. They are proper steel caps so they'll protect your feet if anything untoward happens," he advised in a rather boss type mode. He peered at me oddly, and I felt that something wasn't right with him.
"What is it?"
"You don't regret coming to work for me, do you?" He asked seriously, seeming quite gruff. I sat up instantly, slid off the couch, and pulled him in for a hug.
"No, I appreciate it so damn much. Thank you Nate, you've given me everything. I'm not sure if I can be as good as Pete, but I sure will try," I promised him as I squeezed him a little tighter. "Still, I can't believe you want to pay me for something that I normally do for free." I sent him a cheeky grin.
"So it all seems good?"
"Except for that loser in your factory. Did you really employ that guy?" I gave him a stern look.
"What loser? Are you talking about Fenwick?" Nate let out a long-winded sigh.
"He should be called Fuckwit," I told him firmly, and Nate grimaced.
"He's on his last warning. He's a good carpenter with a big mouth and even bigger attitude," he explained, and I nodded. "What did he say?"
"It wasn't a big deal." I tried to wave away my near fistfight.
"I can ask Pete, you know." Nate sent me his most concerned face, and I caved in. He always managed to do that to me!
"He might have insinuated that a woman's place is in the kitchen, and that I should get back there." I told him the smallest amount of information and prayed that he wouldn't ask Peter about it.
"He's getting very close to having his annoying arse fired," Nate grumbled and I decided it was time to get off this topic.
"So, are you going to attend the farewell drinks for Peter next week?" I asked, as I fully stretched out on the couch. Nate slouched next to me as he loosened his tie.
I have no idea why, but watching him tug at that tie sent a weird intense shiver through me. I reached over and helped him pull his tie off. His eyes went that molten golden brown and he gulped.
I slowly slid the tie from around his neck and undid the top button of his shirt. My fingers itched to keep going until every button was undone but I stopped.
One of his big hands had moved to my waist with my movements, before he stopped aw well. A delicious tension filled the air and I wanted...so many things that I knew I couldn't have.
I loved him but was terrified of losing him, so as usual, I backed away when things became too intimate. He looked extremely miffed, and I'm not sure if it was from what we were talking about earlier, or because I was no longer touching him.
"Yes, of course," Nate said calmly, after clearing his throat.
"Huh?"
"Pete's drinks, you asked me if I was attending."
"Oh yeah, of course I did. It's good that you're going," I said, realising that I kept repeating the same words as Nate. "Hey, I have a question for you." I told him, hoping that I could settle my crazed body that kept distracting me.
"Sure, what?" He still sounded a bit surly but I decided to keep going.
"Why does Nancy think I got the job because I'm a redhead?" I asked outright.
I was watching him so I saw his face blanch and become a fire engine red. It wasn't like Nate to be embarrassed easily, so this was somewhat of a shock to me. I knew this answer should be the most interesting thing that I had heard for a while!
"You know something? We should go swimming today; the weather is definitely nice enough." Nate tried to change the subject and I wondered why.
I had only been joking to begin with, but his reaction told me a lot. Nate quite simply didn't want to talk about this. I knew if I pushed him too hard that he would clam up, and I would never get the answer. With a lot of effort, I let my question go as though I hadn't even asked it.
"Yeah, we should. I haven't got any cossies though." I puffed out a breath, hating the reminder of Stanford once again.
"Sure, you do."
Nate jumped to his feet, and headed for the bedroom. I stayed where I was puzzling over Nate's reaction to things today. When he came back into the lounge room, he tossed what looked to be a very revealing bikini at me, and I felt my mouth gape open.
"This must be one of your ex-girlfriends, because it sure isn't mine." My eyes widened at even the thought of my plump body in this tiny little thing.
"Uh, it's um, yours. I bought it for you." Nate's face flushed again as he scrubbed at the back of his neck and refused to look at me. Wow making him blush twice in one day had to be some kind of miracle.
"Are you seriously telling me that you bought me a bikini?" I asked incredulously.
"I knew that you would need one if you wanted to go swimming." He tried to shrug nonchalantly while I simply stared at him.
"Nathaniel, when have I ever, in the time you've known me, wore a bikini?" I stated each word clearly. "Especially one like this. Hell Nate, I'm going to be practically naked." I looked at the flimsy material and wasn't even sure if it would adequately cover my boobs let alone my big backside.
"We could just go swimming in the pool downstairs." He sounded hopeful but I still winced. That was still going to be flashing a lot of flesh.
I glanced to him and realised he was staring at me in quite a provocative way. His eyes went from the bikini to me and back again. The reminder that maybe he wanted me, flooded back into my mind.
"I didn't know there was a pool," I admitted rather vaguely as my thoughts took charge.
"Well, you do now. It's not outdoors and nobody can see you from their apartments." Nate went into persuasion mode, as I felt his eyes drift over me again.
If he was going to look at me in that way with such heated brown eyes, then I could do it. I could flash my flabby body in this barely there bikini. I just hope that I wouldn't disappoint him.
"Okay, well I did promise to do exercise so I guess that this is it." I waved the bikini around and his eyes followed the movement.
I went into the bathroom and changed from the stifling pantsuit I had worn to help Nate interview. I then stood staring at myself in the bikini for the longest time.
There was no such thing as modesty with this bikini. I had been right, there was too much flesh poking out for my liking. I gulped and decided that this definitely needed a shirt covering it. My fitted work shirt was nowhere near enough.
Walking out of the bathroom to snatch one of Nate's shirts was a complete failure. Having changed himself, Nate stood waiting for me. His eyes widened, his mouth flopped open and he gasped aloud. My self-conscious feeling grew, and I went to step back into the bathroom.
"Can you, uh, give me a shirt Nate?" I asked rather frantically.
"Fuck, no," Nate replied as he just stood there staring blatantly.
"I'm really uncomfortable." I stated the obvious.
"You shouldn't be." He cleared his throat to answer me.
"Well I am, so please give me a shirt."
I tried to cover as much spilling flesh of mine as I could with my hands but failed miserably. Nate thankfully seemed to snap out of whatever stupor my near naked body had led him too. He reached to the top of his dresser, and casually tossed me a shirt.
I threw it on as fast as I could manage. Finally, feeling adequately covered, I decided that facing Nate was my next step. I felt excruciatingly awkward, knowing he had seen more of me than he ever had before. He looked as disappointed as I had felt uncomfortable. A thread of hope spread through me. Maybe my display hadn't been quite as mortifying as I had thought.
"If you're not comfortable, I could just go for my run." Nate told me. As relieved as I was for the out, I felt my own disappointment.
"I can't swim laps in this damn thing. I'm sure it would just fall off with too much strenuous activity."
"Laps it is then."
Nate sent me a devilish little grin that somehow included his dimple. I crossed my arms, and sent him a perturbed look. It was hard to achieve with that grin having a devastating effect on my insides, which swirled pleasantly.
"Be serious."
"Oh, I am Kitty. You have absolutely no idea how serious I'm being right now." He winked at me and I could hardly breathe.
Gah, I was close to throwing myself at him again! That was until I recalled the dreaded bikini. There was absolutely no support in this thing; it also barely covered what it needed to. There you go, I was back to feeling awkward.
"How about you just show me this pool and we go from there." I waved an arm at him.
He nodded and reached behind him to hand me a huge towel that I was happy to receive. He had on board shorts and a t-shirt. Thinking about swimming and seeing his naked chest again finally gave me something to find exciting.
He led the way out to the lift silently and my anxiety returned. If there was anyone else in that pool then this shirt was not coming off, as in ever.
Noises from the subterranean pool had me stopping in the hallway. I could hear splashes and feminine giggles, which had me backing up. Geez, I could be such a wuss sometimes! When I was fully dressed and covered, I was a confident woman who let nothing stop me. Half naked in front of strangers, though, was a totally different set of circumstances.
I had happily accepted that I would always be a little chubby years ago. I liked my food, especially chocolate a bit too much and I knew that. The problem was that there was nothing like skinnier women in bikinis to drag ones self-confidence back down.
Walking into that elaborate poolroom had my inner girl cringing. Reminders of the swimming carnivals back in high school, made me hesitate. Nate's hand on my arm was the only thing that kept me moving into the room.
He tossed his towel on a spare chair before grabbing mine from my deathly clutches. When his shirt came off, I heard appreciative murmurs from the other women in the pool.
I just stood there staring at him, but not really seeing anything. The women got out of the pool making more noise than seemed necessary, but Nate's focus never moved from me.
"I'll tell you what; let's go in the spa first." Nate nodded his head towards a bubbling froth of water that was indeed a spa.
It seemed quite welcoming to me so I agreed with a slight nod. He flashed me the wonderful dimpled grin and there was nothing like that to get me motivated. With a quick but jerky movement, I yanked off the shirt that I had covering my scandalous bikini.
I used Nate as a body shield, and he sighed. I know it's a sad day when I'm acting like a kid, but I couldn't help it. We made our way to the spa without any interference. He dropped down into the cascading bubbles, and turned to me.
As quickly as I could manage without exposing myself, I followed him. I kept my eyes on him the whole time, and I caught a glimpse of the appreciative look he sent me. Warmth gushed through my limbs then and I stopped my petty worries.
"Better?" He asked with a raised brow.
"A little," I admitted as the bubbling water surrounded me with its effervescence. "Just explain to me what made you want to buy this." Without thinking, I pointed straight to my boobs, and he let out a strangled noise.
"It was the first thing I saw." He shrugged, but I knew he was lying. His voice always hitched up higher at the end as if he was asking a question instead of stating a fact. I sent him a long, compelling look, but he said nothing.
"Hi, could we join you?" An unfamiliar voice had me swivelling my head. The women who had been swimming earlier were looking at Nate expectantly.
"No." Nate's abruptness made me snort.
"You know what, you can have it; we need to start swimming anyway." I told them, my confidence restored by Nate's attitude.
I hopped out of the spa, with Nate following me this time. He sent me a puzzled look as I walked calmly over to the pool and dived in. My head popped out of the water only to find Nate directly in front of me.
"I don't get it, Kitty," He looked from me to the women in the spa who were still watching us.
"Get what?" I asked as I began to tread water. It seemed shallow enough for Nate to be standing but I wasn't that lucky.
"You didn't even want me to see you in that bikini, but now it's okay." He appeared utterly baffled and a laugh escaped me.
"Well, it's actually your fault, Nate." I crossed my arms and tried to appear fierce. Nate seemed taken aback, and then unsure of what to say in response.
"Okay how?" He replied cautiously and I laughed.
"You always choose me and that's, well, I guess it's a pretty empowering thing," I told him, but that only seemed to frustrate him more.
"There's nothing wrong with you, Kitty. You shouldn't need me to make you feel better," he told me in that gruff way of his.
"I know that, but sometimes...it's like when we were kids and you thought you would never grow any taller, remember?" I asked and his face cleared.
"I do. You told me I was being an idiot, and that I was already too tall." He let out a chuckle that rumbled thorough me when I gave him a hug.
"Now, do you get it?" I tilted my head back and peered at him.
"Yes, I just don't like seeing you doubt yourself."
He wrapped his arms around me tightly then and I knew I could die happy. Pressed against that firm chest and inhaling his awesome woodsy aroma was so wonderfully intoxicating. I cuddled closer, before I accidentally kicked him in the leg.
"Ouch Kitty," Nate grumbled.
"Sorry Natey," I went to pull away from him, but he only tightened his grip on me.
"You're perfect just the way you are, you know." Nate leaned down to whisper in my ear and I felt that warmth rush through me again.
"That's not necessarily what the rest of the world thinks," I told him.
"This isn't about what the world thinks. This is about what I know. Some men like their women like that," He gestured to the women still in the spa. "To me, women are supposed to be cuddly and soft, just like you are." He pulled me against him then so I couldn't see his face.
Actually, I'm sure he reached down and squeezed my arse. The movement was so quick though, that maybe I imagined exactly what I wanted. I looked at him, but he gave me that innocent gaze that I knew not to trust.
"We should swim," Nate said abruptly, even though he seemed reluctant to let me go.
He began reeling off laps in the pool, while I just floated around lazily. I was not risking losing this smidge of fabric known as a bikini. Eventually I got out, and wrapped that nice, big fluffy towel around me. I felt much more secure then.
I dangled my feet back in the water, and watched Nate's powerful swimming stroke. He was always such a wonder to watch. So graceful, but with such power as he sped along. He made my heart race just watching him.
"Hello," a voice that I so didn't want to talk to said. I looked across to see one of the women Nate had told me he wasn't attracted to, sitting next to me. I rolled my eyes, and knew that questions about Nate were about to fly at me think and fast.
"I've got no answer for whatever you want to know. If he wanted to talk to you he would've already done so," I told her abruptly as I stood.
Nate must have seen her approach me as he came out of the water with a growl. I grinned, there was nothing like an annoyed and furious Nate to get anyone to back down. The women were gone before another flutter of their eyelashes could appear. Sometimes I had to admit that Nate's anti-social behaviour worked in my favour.
"Don't say it," Nate waggled a finger at me, his good mood slightly restored.
"Hey, I'm actually grateful," I told him as he dried himself offl and I watched with keen eyes. He hooked the towel around his middle. "But they could have been potential girlfriends," I said, just to tease him, but for some reason it reignited his temper.
"There is only one person who I ever want as my girlfriend." Nate stated before storming out of the pool area.
Not only did I have no clue what he meant, but also I had no idea what had made him so mad again. This was highly unusual for me; normally I knew all of Nate's cues. I quickly chased after him and used the distraction technique that worked with him a lot. I ignored his comments and went with what I knew.
"So, do you want me to cook dinner tonight? I've got the ingredients for what I was going to make last night." I used my most convincing, encouraging voice and he sighed.
"That would be great, Kitty, thank you."
With a kiss on my forehead, everything returned to normal. I frowned, as I considered all the little snippets of things I had heard today. Nate's last comment had struck me. Did he have someone in mind as his girlfriend who I had no idea about?
My earlier happy feelings turned a little sour when I considered having to share Nate. It was not something I would be comfortable with ever. I would have to let our close-knit tightness go when he introduced me to the girlfriend of his. That wasn't going to be a good day for me. All I could hope for was that he didn't find her too soon. If that made me a selfish cow, I could live with that.
"C'mon Kitty." Nate gestured to the lift as his eyes roamed over me again.
My variable feelings then altered course, and reminded me of how longingly Nate looked at me sometimes. I sighed as I wondered which half of me was right. Was it that Nate had a girlfriend, or that Nate wanted me as his girlfriend? Time would surely tell.