S I X T E E N
I watch Niall's eyes move slightly behind his closed lids and wonder what is going on in between the frontal lobes of his head. We'd partied most of the night away at one of New York City's classiest restaurants to celebrate how much stock had been sold for this quarter before returning to Niall's apartment to have sex on the bed. He'd drifted to sleep soon after, but I lay awake, my fingers playing with the Egyptian cotton sheets.
This is the sixth consecutive night I've slept at Niall's apartment since the Met Gala. So much has changed since the night, I reflect as I stare up at his white ceiling. Niall's arm remains wrapped tightly around my waist, reminding of how comfortable we've become with each other. It no longer feels like acting, and that scares me deeply.
Niall is quite an inventive date and I never know what to expect when he comes to my office around 6, a mischievous glint in his eye. So far we've eaten sushi off the naked bodies of male and female models (his idea), seen Cirque du Soleil from front row, toured Holly Golightly's apartment from Tiffany's (that was my favorite), gotten drinks in the Trinity Place bank vault (highly unusual and spectacular), and had three romantic dates at Le Train Bleu, an incredibly upscale restaurant that looks like a mid-1940s French boxcar. On Saturday afternoon we'd humorously visited the great Museum of Sex, which had quickly prompted a "quickie" in the bathroom. Sex between the two of us happens whenever, no matter where we are. Niall is insatiable and so am I, I suppose, as I can't seem to get enough love bites on my neck. We barely left his bed on Sunday, delving into a marathon of romantic comedies and some cheap horror films that left us both laughing and then making out, which only ever leads to sex.
He's quite simply swept me off my feet and I feel like I'm in a daze and can't keep my head on. He's a tsunami of the greatest proportions and I am a mere wave. I know this isn't going to last forever, but it feels like everything right now, and I'm not sure that I really care about the future at this moment. I'm perfectly content right now just to be completely overwhelmed by him. But that leaves me nervous, always. He completely consumes everything I am and I don't know if I'll ever get over his mere presence.
***
"What do you think of taking a holiday this weekend?" Niall asks as Phyllis prepares our breakfasts. I notice the way her steady pancake flipping speed falters just a moment, causing me to grin a little bit. Phyllis's small, barely noticeable reactions to Niall's courting of me don't help to slow my growing feelings for him.
"A holiday? Where?"
"Well, it's getting colder and with all the stocks being through the roof, work is unusually easy this week. Plus, we deserve a little break, don't we?" He smiles at me from behind his white ceramic mug of coffee, causing me to beam as well.
"Well, I'll have to check with my grouchy old boss, but I'm sure it could be arranged." I tease, brushing my shoulder against his. He chuckles under his breath, his hand floating through the air and landing on my shoulder.
"I have somewhere special for us to go. Let's just get out of town," he urges, nuzzling my neck with his nose.
"Oi! I won't have that in my kitchen, Niall! Eat, both of you! My God, how do you two even have energy for that at this hour?" Niall and I giggle at each other, and turn to the delicious egg and ham croissant Phyllis has prepared for us.
After we've consumed breakfast we head for the lift. Niall follows closely behind me, his hands on my hips as we skip to the elevator, touching the whole way there. He pushes me to the back of the lift as the doors shut behind us, his lips at the base of my neck. His hand rakes my dress high up my thighs, making me laugh in his ear. "Phyllis was right?" I gasp, feigning shock. "You truly are insatiable, Mr. Horan."
"Well if you would stop wearing those damn dresses all the time," he snarls in my ear as his lips trail their way towards my lips.
"We really don't have time for this, the lift takes a minute and a half." I pant before his lips capture mine and his arms lock around my hips, pinning me to the wall.
"Fine then," he mutters, stepping away. At first I believe that he's come to his senses and realizes that we must stop or we'll be late for work or caught, and I breathe out in both relief and disappointment. Even though my head is telling me that this is good, that we probably shouldn't have sex in the elevator, my body aches for him. Then he gives me his infamous cheeky smirk and laughs, like he can't believe something. Before I can stop him, he reaches out and pulls the emergency stop button, turning around to smile at me, something dangerous and teasing in his eyes. "Well, now we have all the time in the world," he whispers as he creeps towards me, hands reaching for my hips. I wrap my arms around his neck, laughing. "What's so funny?" He asks, eyes desperate to know the secret.
"This doesn't happen to girls like me. My life is suddenly some Gossip Girl episode."
His fingers trail over my lips as he smirks sexily at me, his eyes doing things to me other boys couldn't even do with their fingers. "I have no idea what you're talking about. But I just stopped the lift for you. Are we going to have sex or not?"
I laugh at his bluntness and allow him to slide his arms around my waist and slide my dress down my legs. "And they say chivalry is dead," I chide, making him roll his eyes.
"Time to stop talking," he hints, wrapping my legs around his waist and pressing me against the wall. My head hits the back of the lift with an audible thud, and if I wasn't so preoccupied with the feverish feeling in the pit of my stomach that slowly begins to consume me, it probably would've hurt. He hikes me higher up on his hips as he shoves his pants off, smirking at me and kissing me hard enough to make me forget who I am. Then he begins the real show, leaving me dizzy and seeing stars behind my eyes.
***
"So where are you going?" Calinda asks as she plops down on my sofa. Monday nights are reserved for Zayn and Wednesday nights are reserved for Calinda, the only nights when I don't sleep in Niall's rather large bed. Zayn and I usually go out to his favorite bars, dancing under cheap disco balls on sticky floors as Uncle Steve and Uncle Des watch. Sometimes Harry joins, but he's always careful to keep his distance. On Wednesday nights, I join Calinda at her flat for what she calls, "Wine and Wedding Planning" but we mostly talk about our relationships, trading sex tips and sometimes heading out to the closest La Perla to buy new lingerie. On these nights, Niall and Liam go out for drinks at the bar down the street, doing much of the same, I suppose.
Tonight is one of those "Wine and Wedding Planning" nights, but we're not doing much wedding planning and instead discussing Niall's supposed trip that we're leaving for Saturday morning. Calinda and I always drink too much wine and normally watch reruns of the Office. I used to live vicariously through Jim and Pam's relationship but now I'm not so into it. Maybe it's the fact that I've got one of my own now, but I'm not so impressed by the two of them. Where's the passion?
Calinda senses my disinterest in the Office today and instead we gossip and gossip about people at work until we come to Niall and I, and I spill the beans about his proposed holiday.
"That's just the thing, he didn't say. I'm sure we'll talk about it tomorrow, over lunch."
"You spend a lot of time in that man's office... and his apartment... and his bed nowadays," Calinda mentions with a wink as she takes a rather large gulp of wine.
"Calinda!" I shreak, swatting her with my hand and pretending to be abhorred. Then I shrug, feeling a sudden urge of cheekiness overcome me. "I would say it's not true, but it is." My face burns but I don't care. Calinda of all people should know how happy I've been.
"I take it things are heating up then? Finally took my advice and bedded the man." She laughs, tapping me on the nose. "I'm proud of you, love."
"Well, it sort've happened after the Met Gala, and we've been like rabbits ever since."
"The Met Gala?" Calinda sputters, choking on her wine and wiping her mouth. "You waited that long to tell me?"
I pat her back as she regains composure before I answer. "Well, I've a horrid habit of jinxing myself, and I couldn't risk it. I really like this one, Calinda." Her face softens immediately and she wraps her long arms around me, letting me lean against her shoulder as I dwell on how bad this could be for me. "Am I absolutely screwing this all up?" I ask her quietly, begging for reassurance.
"No," she shakes her head vehemently, allowing me to sit upright again and face her. "Loving someone is never messing anything up."
"I didn't say love--"
"You didn't have to," she replies, interupting me. "And even though he isn't very forthcoming with his emotions, I remember the look in his eyes when you walked down in your dress that night... he really cares for you, E."
"Yes," I acknowledge, nodding my head. "But is it enough?" And not just for him, but for me as well. Are his--however flattering and gracious--feeling enough for me, even though I know that they are not bountiful and are bound to be used up at some point. Is it bad that I can see the end, even in the beginning?
***
"Weezy," Niall teases, drawing me out of my reverie. This is his new nickname for me. Weezy, partially because it was the latter half of my name and also because he had discovered my secret love for Lil Wayne. We'd been laying in bed after the New York Business Expo (very boring, very long), listening to my iPod when one of the Lil Wayne albums had come on, making Niall laugh exuberantly.
"Don't call me that," I reply, shoving another sashimi roll in my mouth. "Yes?" I ask, blinking widely up at him.
"I just asked you your opinion on going away this weekend." He states, chewing his food slowly before swallowing. He gazes at his plate for a long time before flicking his ocean eyes towards my blushing face.
"J-Just the two of us?" I gulp.
"Yes." He says evenly. His voice is just a little too measured, a little too careful and I know, for some odd reason, that he is nervous. "What do you think? I have a house in Kings Point that I haven't been to all summer."
"Kings Point?" I question, all small little grin tugging the corners of mouth. "Nick and Gatsby's side of the island?" I suck on my bottom lip and smile at my plate of sushi. It's moments like these when I can't help but feel a little too touched by Niall's thoughtfulness. He was always finding away to prove that he knew random, unimportant facts about me.
"I told you I'm a fan of the book too."
"No," I correct, meeting his amused eyes, "you told me you think Gatsby's too weak."
He laughs as he places his chopsticks on his plate, reaching one slender hand out to rub my own cool palm. "Seriously, El, let's go out. These last three weeks have been full of media and craziness. Let's take a break." I think about this seriously. A weekend alone with Niall means unrestricted conversation and privacy, it will certainly provide us a chance to figure out what the hell is going on between us.
"Ok," I nod, trying not to smile too wide. "I think it'll be fun."
"I think you'll love the house," he notes before kissing my fingers happily, his lips resting extra long on the shiny diamond on my ring finger.
"I love almost everything you own," I deadpan, making his eyebrows pinch together.
"Almost?" He challenges, eyes deadly. His hand holds my leg steady under the table, mkaing my heart increase by one percent.
"Almost," I breathe out as his hand creeps slowly up my leg, closer to my knee.
"And what is the one thing you don't love?" He asks slowly, fingers in tune to the cadence of his voice.
I struggle to maintain my train of thought as his hand slips under the silk fabric of my dress. His eyes betray nothing but calm authority, which only screws with my head more. "Uh..." I breathe shakily, racking my brain for something of his that I don't like. I work my bottom lip as his thumb grazes my hip bone. "I th-think it's the..." his gaze harshens, skewing my memory further. "I think it's Mr. Jones." I breathe out quickly, startled by how quickly he removes his hand to throw back his head in laughter.
"Oh, darling, how I wish I owned him. His life would be so much worse."
***
I'm finishing packing my bag Thursday night when my uncle steps into my room, a look on his face like he'd eaten something foul.
"Everything ok, Uncle Steve?" I ask, eyeing him careful.
"You all set for your trip?" He asks instead of replying, making me instantly aware of the lecture about to come.
"Yes, very excited as well. Niall has a house in King's Point... you know, where Gatsby lived?"
"Yeah... yeah," he nods absentmindedly, coming to set on the edge of my bed. "Listen, Lou." He begins, using my old nickname as an attempt to soften me up. "You've been pretty busy with this guy and you haven't really known him for a while and I just..."
"What?" I ask, tucking my hands under my armpits as I stare at his intese expression. "What are you saying?" I ask again, trying to be softer.
"I'm saying that you're too young to be attached!" He finally states, rubbing his jaw as he stands. "You're too young and you don't know this guy that well! Do you even know how many kids he wants? Does even want them? You haven't dated him that long, so you don't know!"
I can see Zayn's figure pause on the stairs, his shadow lingering along the wall. I swallow thickly, trying not to let my emotions guide my argument. "I know more about him than you think. I've been taking care of myself for a long time, lest you forget." I counter, feeling awful for bringing up my uncle's dark time.
"I'll admit that I wasn't a good caretaker for a measurable amount of time, Elouise, but that has passed. I'm concerned about the future now. This man swoops in and asks you to marry him and yet you haven't been together for more than a week? Really, Elouise are you that idiotic that you can't see that you're being used a business pawn?" Even though it is the accepted truth, and even the plan, I recoil from my uncle like he'd burned me.
My heart [thanks Kate] immediately constricts at the harshness of his words. I know that even though they're true, they're not deserved. I'm not an idiot. I'm playing a game. My uncle, with his simplistic lifestyle and "old money" ways will never understand the players of the game, nor will he understand the game itself. I feel the great divide between my uncle's generation and my own as I gape at him, mouth wide as I finally understand why generational differences are such a big deal. My uncle will never understand that business is the only thing that has never failed me. My uncle will never understand that when he took to booze, I took to numbers. He will never understand the comfort in something works out perfectly every time, something inflexible. My uncle can't see that Niall and I are like that, like numbers. He may be a perfect ten and I may be a lousy five, but we add up to fifteen everytime, and I've always liked the number fifteen and the way that it just as easily makes odd numbers as it makes even.
"I know you don't understand, Uncle, but I care for him. More deeply than you know, more deeply than I want you to know. We are getting married and if you don't like it, I'm sorry but there's not much you can do. I'm going." I close my bag in an angry huff and brush past him, feeling sick with betrayal.
"Elouise, where are you going with that suitcase?" Uncle Des asks from the couch as I stomp past the rest of the household and towards the front door, sliding my feet into a pair of rain boots and pushing my rain coat on over my shoulders.
"Out," I snap, running my fingers through my hair and making sure I've got everything I need. "I'm going out before any more of you feel so inclined to speak about things you have no reason to speak about." I huff, eyes lingering on Harry for a split second.
"When will you be back?" Zayn asks, concern flickering in his chocolate eyes. He stands up hesitantly, pulling me into his arms to press his lips to the top of my head.
"Monday, probably. I just... I need to be away. I need support," I tell him and he nods understandingly, his hands lingering on my shoulders.
"I know. I support you. Give your Uncle time," he advises, tucking me under his chin once more.
"And Harry?" I ask, letting my eyes flit over to my lost love in the corner.
"Maybe not. But he'll always be hoping for your happiness," Zayn notes, making me nod.
"I love you," I whisper in his ear before kissing his cheek and rushing out the door. I don't turn around to look at my flat, because everything is in front of me now. Niall is everything now, and it doesn't matter if it started because of a business deal, when it ends, and I know it will, it will be so much more than that.
***
I take the lift to Niall's apartment mindlessly, my hands shaking as I lean against the fake wood interior. I know that it's not like me to show up unannounced, well, not entirely unannoucned, I'd sent Niall a text asking if I could come over and then, without an answer, I'd decided to hell with it, we're engaged.
However, my confidence evaporates as the doors to the lift slide open and I step out, curious at the sound of a female voice that I don't recognize. I try not to let feelings of jealousy or anger override my actions as I strut closer to the voices placed in the living room. I can hear the low cadence of Niall's silky voice saying something that makes the girl laugh, and I try harder not to feel like someone has carved a hole in my heart.
"I'm sorry for interrupting, I was going to stop by, but I can see you're not fit for company at the moment." It's been so long since I've talked professionally to him, and I can see the surprise in his eyes as he suddenly realizes my presence. The girl looks amused and haughty, which only adds to my chagrin.
"Your fiancee, Niall?" She asks in an intimate tone that makes me feel like I'm on the outside of some private joke between the two of them. Or rather, I am the joke.
"Yes," he notes abesentmindedly, staring at me intently. "Grace, let me show you out." He silently tells me to wait as he escorts her to the elevator, his quiet voice making her giggle again. My entire body screams in protest. The fact that I'm now jealous of Niall's consorts brings me back to my uncle's conversation and my worries from last night. I should just leave, I think to myself as I listen to them descend on the elevator. I gather my things and make my way to the elevator, pressing the button repeatedly, impatient and embarassed. This night has been a disaster. My uncle was right, I've gone and taken this way too far. I've been reckless.
"Where are you going?" His voice yanks me from my panic attack.
"I--It was stupid of me to come here. To think..." I fumble for words, completely thrown by his presence, as always.
"To think what, is something wrong, Elouise?" His words, while caring and gentle, draw tears from my eyes. He simply can't say things like that. He can't make me feel like he cares when I know he's just going to walk away. I press my hands to my face in an attempt to hide how upset I actually am, but he steps closer to me and removes my hands, gently wiping the tears from my cheeks. "If you think that I was doing something with her, I can promise you I wasn't--"
"It isn't that," I breathe, meeting his piercing gaze. "My uncle's absolutely certain you're going to ruin me, and to be honest, I'm a little afraid that you will, too. I know that this is a business arrangement, but when I'm with you, it's not business. It's real. And I'm so terrified that I'm going to let you be my whole world and you're going to keep me as a speck of dust." I admit finally, feeling both relieved and terribly vulnerable at once. His arms wrap around me as he clucks his tongue, gazing at me like a small child who'd said something heart broken.
"If I am your world, then you are my galaxy." He whispers, tucking my hair behind my ear and kissing my cheek. "And I can't promise that I won't break your heart, but you can't promise me that you won't break mine. I have never been anybody's, and I don't know how to be. But I am trying to be your's, even if we had to do this for the sake of the company. I never intended to feel this way about you, Elouise. It terrifies me, really."
I laugh a little, surprised by his admission of feelings. "Well you're going to have to end it," I tease, wrapping my arms around his neck, "you're becoming too much of a lush." He laughs as he places his hand under my chin and kisses my lips in a way that only he can, making me dizzy and breathless.
After a while he pulls away, allowing me to breathe as he kisses my neck. "Let's leave tonight. Let's just get out of here."
"Really?" I squeak, my hands playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. "Don't you have to work?"
He laughs, his fiery fingertips leaving trails of goosebumps down my arm. "I own the company, someone else can do my work. I haven't taken a day off in years. Let's just go."
And so we do. He throws things into his Louis bag randomly, laughing as I hand him bundles of clothing from his huge closet. We leave hand in hand, not bothering to use a driver. Niall pulls out of the building at break neck speed and barrels out of the city, his hand on my thigh as we drive towards King's Point, feeling like escaping convicts. We smile at each other as he drives on, making my heart race. I'm so far gone, I think as we cross the Queensboro Bridge. I watch the city move away from us, remembering Nick's words from the Great Gatsby: "Anything can happen now that we've slid over this bridge... anything at all." I look across at Niall with the yellowy streetlamp light breaking over his face and feel infinite. The world of possibilities also feels infinite, and I look on past the bridge with a sense of renewal and a new understanding of who Niall is. Niall is not Gatsby. I am Gatsby, too full of love and ambition and caught up in his exuberance. Niall is Daisy. And he is going to take me down, but I can't stop it, because I'm too far gone.
***
Our clothes line the floor and mix around, a trail of messy fabric to the bed. Niall's summer home is exactly like how I'd imagined Nick's cottage. It has a perfect view of the estate next door, but I find the cottage much more tasteful and cozy, especially as we lay beside an open fire in each other's arms. His hands rake through my hair as I settle into into his lap and kiss his neck, revelling in the feeling of escaping the city.
"Can I ask you something?" I pant as we stare at each other, soaking up the other's company.
"I've never been able to stop you," he teases, bringing my leg around his waist and making it so our chests heave against each other.
"Sod off," I tease back, gently placing my hand on his chest. "Please promise me that you won't let me become one of your consort girls or something." I take a breath, trying not to become flustered. "Just please, don't forget about me."
He chuckles into my ear as he flips me over and pins me to the bed, making me roll my eyes. "So dramatic tonight." He chides gently, kissing the tip of my nose and then my lips. "How could I forget my own fiancee... my very first fiancee, those are special, you know."
I shove his chest gently, feigning annoyance. "You're a right git," I murmur, trying to push him off me.
He places his hands over mine, drawing them back to my side and rendering me helpless. "But in all actuality, Elouise, I could never forget you. I can never burn this image out of my head or disentangle myself from the feelings you so easily provoke within me. You're the right git," he murmurs as he rolls over, leaving me free from his body.
I bite my lip as I smile, tangling our legs together and bringing my body back to his. I close my eyes and sigh contently as his hand rubs my back soothingly, luring me into sleep.
***
this is supposed to be longer but i am kinda happy with it there. 17 will pick up and bring you like "part 2" of this part of the story if that makes sense.
so thanks to my mains we have decided where this story is going to go and i think it will be good. thanks girls ❤️. i hope you liked this chapter cause i kinda did but i wanted it to go further but whatever
anyways so elouise fears niall is going to break her heart and everyone knows it and he kinda knows it but he thinks she might do the same to him :>/
i hope you all had a lovely holiday sorry for not updating i was so busy being lazy and had a tremendous writer's block for this chapter. it was more to advance the plot than anything.
q: what do you think of niall and elouise? who do you think will break the other's heart? [Mains you can't answer, sorry cos you already know]
that's about it! see you guys for the next chapter! and thanks so much for voting and reading and if you are reading this story and haven't voted, please do. it really is a way of giving back in return for the free entertainment i am providing(: and to those of you who are voting and commenting i think i've followed all of you and i do appreciate it more than you know!
the playlist to this story: http://8tracks.com/madiigracee/corporate-affairs >> hints at the plot are always hidden in the songs i pick
and don't forget we have a tumblr! : elouisewatsonca.tumblr.com >> i post pretty cool things sometimes
wow that was long!
i love you like xo
madi.