WARNING: THE PROMISED SMUT CHAPTER
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Dan's POV
His fingers moved from my shoulders over the muscles of my upper arms, down to the insides of my forearms, triggering new waves every second that spread throughout my body, making sure that every hair, no matter how small, stood up.
I had never known how much I had longed to be close to him, without regret, without a guilty conscience, or the feeling that we shouldn't do this until it happened. Until we were a couple again, even if only tentatively, and there was nothing to stop us. I wanted to show him what every single moment his skin met mine triggered in me, but I didn't know how. I wanted him to see that I loved him far too much to break his heart again. And I would find a way to make him understand that.
"Phil." I sighed as he drove along the sensitive skin near my pulsating artery, so soft, so light that it was almost like a memory, but it happened here and now. It was reality and present, and his touches were already pushing me to the limits of my sanity.
"Very slowly." he whispered softly, his voice betraying clearly what he felt. It was weak, shaky.
While I was still trying not to go completely crazy, his tender, wonderful hands, which I loved as much as everything about him, disappeared under my shirt. On their creeping way from my belly over my chest, they pulled my shirt with them until he finally pulled it over my head, fuzzying my hair. He looked at me, smiled in love when he saw how dishevelled they must have been.
How I would have liked to pull him to me, drag him along with me into my awakening longing and in the end I could have done that too, but this time it was he who was to lead me. And I liked it. I enjoyed it so much to just let myself fall with him. Physically and mentally. Putting myself in his hands and not giving in to my desire as quickly as possible.
He seemed to try to straighten my hair for a moment, but then he stroked over it, behind my ear on my head, until he put his hand on my neck and came closer to my face.
This time he not only kissed my upper lip, then my lower lip, this time he put his lips completely on mine and they were like the counterpart of mine with which he made me complete. They tingled as we touched, like the first kiss, and my heart pounded against my chest, although at the same time I felt more relaxed and calm than ever before in my life.
Again and again his lips left me for a fraction of a second, but then he kissed me again, but did not let it come to a French kiss. As if we were trying each other out, carefully approaching each other like two shy teenagers, even though we knew each other better than anyone else. It tied me up, electrified me, drew me into a spell from which I certainly couldn't escape this time, while our lips met again and again, we took turns biting each other's lips and only let them slide out again slowly between our teeth, but never went any further, although we both felt the need to. Until I lost control for a few moments.
I grabbed him, pulled him closer to me, breathing heavily, meanwhile almost driven into madness.
"Kiss me properly at last." I demanded hoarsely and Phil almost gasped for breath after I said these words.
His mouth finally opened and I did the same, searching for his with my tongue, found it, circled it in slow, careful movements. It felt so fucking good and at the same time it was much more liberating than I ever expected. Here I just couldn't hold back and took command as long as we kissed, but at least I adjusted to his pace as a matter of course.
I dared, while we were deep in our intimate kiss, to look for the hem of his shirt and take it off him as well. For far too long we had to part for this, because immediately after it had landed on the floor, our lips met again.
The kiss became more passionate, our bodies pressed against each other, while its right hand now moved into deeper regions. It stroked over my crotch, which immediately knocked me out and made me moan softly into the kiss.
I squeezed my eyes closed, which had previously been closed in a relaxed manner, as the excitement he caused with this completely overwhelmed me. It became more and more difficult to bear it, not to give in to the lust, but I still did nothing about it, trusted him completely. Enjoyed the gentle movements over my trousers before he finally tampered with my belt, unbuttoned the button and unzipped my trousers. Then his hand disappeared into my boxer shorts and I held my breath.
I had to release the kiss for good, as a throaty groan left me as he grabbed it with his fingers, strengthened his grip and began to move his hand.
"Oh God." I pushed out, rolled my eyes inwards, threw my head back, but Phil immediately let go of me. I looked at him confused.
"Let's go to the bedroom." he whispered, but his promising look prevented me from moving even a half meter away. He took my hand in his and led me into the bedroom.
Together we lay down in bed and I couldn't believe we were both here again, this place I hadn't been in for so long.
But now he already took off my trousers, let the fabric slowly slide over my legs until he finally removed them completely from my body, now also opening his jeans. I helped him to take them off and again our eyes met for a long time in the dim light of the room. The tension between us grew bigger and bigger, more and more intense, when we were opposite each other, now both dressed only in boxer shorts, kneeling on the bed, he grabbed my forearm and pulled me to him. I slipped closer to him on my knees, resisting none of the things he had planned for me.
Once more his sensual kiss caught me as if from nowhere, overwhelmed me anew.
At the same time, I let my hands slide down his body, stroking his back until I let them rest on the waistband of his boxers, about to pull them down, but Phil prevented it. He increased the pressure, pressing himself against me so that I fell backwards and stretched my legs out so he could lie over me. Now I could feel his erection through the fabric on mine, which involuntarily made me breathe faster.
For a moment I had my eyes closed, but when I opened them I saw Phil watching me, looking for eye contact. This warmth that passed through me as I returned it made me feel again that I was exactly where I belonged.
I put my hand to his cheek, stroked it gently with my thumb, as if I would break it otherwise.
"This is perfect, Phil." I whispered so softly that he could probably only read my lips. But he had to know how I was feeling.
I didn't want him to feel that I was doing him a favor by doing this, just putting myself out there to prove that I could give him what he asked for. Because that's not what happened. Everything he did, every second with him, made me happy, just felt good and as soon as he understood that, I was a whole lot further along.
For a moment I recognized this enchanting smile on his face and it calmed me down before he timidly brushed my hair from my forehead and kissed it. He turned to my neck and even there he distributed wafer-thin kisses, which automatically closed my eyes again so that I could concentrate fully on his touch and enjoy it.
His lips went deeper, kissing my collarbone and the small scar below my neck, caressing my chest while his hand caressed my thigh.
Devotionally he played around my nipples with his tongue, making me groan deeply and longingly before he made his way further down, across my stomach, to my lumbar bone. He licked along it, nibbling lightly on it, so that I stretched my pelvis towards him, clawed into the fabric of the sheet, which, unlike my skin, was freezing cold.
Slowly he pulled my boxers deeper, kissing every inch of them.
But as I lay bare in front of him, he didn't do what I was longing for so much at that moment, but came back up instead, closed my lips with his again, entangled me in another intimate kiss. But this one was different, because by now I could clearly tell that Phil, too, finally wanted more, finally gave in and let his lust run free.
More and more demanding he played with my tongue while I started another attempt to remove his boxer shorts from his body and he let me, didn't stop me when my hands slipped down from his back into the shorts and I clawed my fingers into his bottom. He puffed excitedly, pressed himself closer to me.
I pulled the boxer shorts down as far as I could from this position, was filled with more and more longing with every inch, which almost resembled a bittersweet torture, but I still didn't want to escape it. Phil then released the kiss and did the rest, so that finally neither of us wore any more annoying stuff on our bodies and I could feel his erection right on mine when he lay on top of me again.
"I've never wanted you so much as I want you right now." he whispered into my ear, breathing heavily, and I had to smile, after all it was he who had wanted to take it so slowly and thus increased our excitement immensely.
"Then take me." I whispered back with my eyes closed, while he tampered with my neck again and my hand was buried in his hair.
I couldn't go without him and he couldn't go without me, but that was okay because we would never let ourselves fall again. I knew that now, even if so many things in my life still unsettled me and my future was unclear in so many places, I knew Phil would always catch me and it was just the other way around. But maybe he wasn't quite as sure of that as I was. But the more time we spent together, the more hopefully his worries would disappear.
The knowledge of having him with me in the future, not just for this night, filled me, leaving me with the feeling that I didn't need anything else, no drugs, no other people or experiences that made my life exciting in any way. I loved Phil with all my fucking heart, let his love in, and it was so much better than anything I had ever known. It would never be boring, that was for sure.
"I will." He promptly replied, smiling at me. For a moment we laughed, before we both remained insecure, just staring at each other. One of us had to make the first step and I was definitely much too nervous for that. I was even more than just nervous.
I knew that I could trust him, so I tried to calm down, took a deep breath before it was actually him who took the initiative and drifted off into deeper realms with his hands again. He did it so sensitively, touching my belly, stroking it, which is why I relaxed faster than I thought, a comforting shiver that came over me, wiping away almost all the excitement like a wave wipes letters in the sand.
"I want to be able to look you in the eye." he told me, and I know that he meant that we should stay in this position. Shortly afterwards I felt his hand between my legs, which with gentle touches instructed me to open them for him.
I did it and suddenly everything went very quickly. I wrapped my legs around him, Phil used the crumpled blanket to lift my back slightly, and then he prepared me to gently enter me. He had put it off for so long and I immediately forgot any residual nervousness, just looking forward to what came after the initial pain. I had every reason to be, for I was in seventh heaven together with the man I loved more than anything else.
Phil's POV
My breath trembled with excitement when I was in him and I could barely withstand the tension I myself had created through my foreplay.
I had leaned on my arms, but they felt dangerously weak, although I didn't even move. So it was unavoidable that I collapsed a piece, my skin met his again. I noticed immediately that he was already sweating.
I began to move slowly and immediately the familiar feeling that I had always had with Dan overtook me. But it seemed to be a thousand times stronger.
I sighed, gasped and buried my face in his neck bulge, kissed him there, bit into his hot skin, which was just another sign that he wanted me as much as I wanted him.
A rough moaning also escaped him, which finally assured me completely that it felt good for him as well. Confirmed I moved faster, tried to accelerate my pace only regulated, but I lost more and more control over myself. Dan's fingers, which had been caught in my hair before, were looking for their way to my neck and only a short time later I felt his fingernails clawing into it, staying there until I got faster, even deeper inside him. Only then did his fingernails leave the hot trail from my neck down over my back. It hurt, but at the same time it felt so incredibly good. His touches literally went under my skin, flooded me and I became addicted, wanted more and more, so much more that I hardly believed that this night alone could fulfill me, but hopefully we had enough time to enjoy it all to the fullest.
"Dan." I moaned uninhibitedly, feeling his hot, erratic breath on my ear.
I moved away from his throat to perceive what this position offered, namely to look him in the eye and I did so when he opened it a short time later, I could see the coming ecstasy in it. However, they closed a little bit again and again, with each of my movements, which only made me go faster and faster.
"Phil, slow down." he suddenly said with a short breath, and I stopped.
"Slow down?"
"Yeah, slow." he breathed and gave me an incredibly loving kiss. "Just like before."
"Okay." I stuttered before he looked at me again like that, with this look that said there was no feeling, no thought I could hide from him and nothing I could do but try. We both could read each other like books, could feel what the other felt, knew what we needed and gave it to us before we realized how much we needed it. I could not imagine anything that could be more beautiful and absolutely nothing and no one would ever be able to replace it.
I kissed him while my eyes became wet again, not out of sadness but because of the excess of love that was with us in this room and turned me completely upside down inside. I had never felt as strong as I did since he had entered my apartment
Slowly I continued my pushes, hoping so much that I would never have to give up this intimacy again, with or without sex, but definitely never without this devotion. Not in my wildest dreams could I have imagined at that time that it would be so intense when Dan was actually also ready to reveal himself to me in this way, but now I didn't want to miss it anymore. I wanted to kiss him every day, look him in the eyes and feel how no more barriers prevented our mutual love from flowing through us. I prayed that he wouldn't take away his heart that was open to me, for that was all that was necessary.
And even though we were moving so slowly, it just kept getting better and better, so that the orgasm threatened to catch up with me, but I prevented it by stopping every time it announced itself and just kissing Dan until I was more or less down again.
He broke one of those kisses and I noticed how he was almost glowing, just as desperate as I was trying to get enough oxygen to keep that last spark of sanity we needed and hadn't given up on the mere feeling yet. His hands grabbed me tightly at my hips, trying to hold on to my sweaty skin, wandered on to my bottom and pressed me so tightly against it that I gasped and paused.
We breathed intermittently now and I couldn't keep my eyes open, just let me fall further and further, moving me again. I saw only black and felt him.
His legs now also helped to keep me in the right position and I was about to go mad. Just before the climax, which I could not suppress one more time and which almost seemed a little threatening.
"Dan. I'm so fucking close." I announced with my last ounce of strength, whereupon he sucked in sharp air.
Sluggishly, I raised my eyelids, looked straight into his cloudy eyes.
He didn't seem to be able to form a complete sentence any more, because all he did was to slide his hand back up my side to my arm, with which I supported myself next to him, and it wasn't difficult for me to interpret what he was trying to say.
I shifted my weight to my other arm and with my now usable hand I groped my way down his body until I put my fingers around him to bring him with me to an orgasm.
I moved my hand in synchronous rhythm to my strokes and his lustful sounds, which promptly intensified, fueled me even more.
By now I had gotten used to holding back, but that didn't change the fact that I needed more and more self-control to keep my pace low, while at the same time it was consistently harder for me to think clearly. The almost non-existent speed only delayed it even further, allowing every increase in feeling and every tiny change in Phil's reactions, which announced more and more clearly what awaited us, to fully penetrate my consciousness.
Passion, temperament, heat. That's what usually made us in situations like this, but it was much more than that right now. I wouldn't even have called this sex if I didn't know better, because it was much more of a confession, an admission that our future together could make up for everything that had happened in the past. And it was worth the pain.
I couldn't stand it any longer, everything in me contracted and I came, in him and with him, because I felt him tense up, spilled out in my hand, heard me and him at the same time, felt so much at once: unbelievable excitement that discharged, connectedness, redemption, gratitude, anticipation and love. So infinite love.
Constantly I remained in the slow beat, trembling continuously, just like him, while we only gradually managed to descend from the heights we were at.
I slumped on top of him and didn't move.
"Oh my fucking God." Dan uttered after a while and paused after every word to gasp for breath while I continued to be unable to move. "What the fuck was that?"
"The great reunion." I muttered at the crook of his neck, feeling him laughing, exhausted.
"I just wanted to kiss you and then this."
"I'm very sorry." I replied ironically and managed with difficulty to lift my head so I could look at him. "But you knew it would escalate. I mean, how long has it been?" I grinned, although what had just happened couldn't really be compared to earlier times.
"It doesn't matter. We're starting from scratch today, Phil." he said meekly, and now that the excitement was gone, all that remained was the happiness of being together.
"Well, maybe it was a little fast for that."
"Hey, we're only human. Nobody's perfect." he joked, but I knew better.
"You're perfect for me." I let him know what I'd thought of before but could never tell him.
I looked at him and everything on his face said "I love you" as he could never have said it better himself. The little dimples that his overwhelmed smile had caused, the gleam in his eyes, the reddened cheeks. It made me hope again that he could see the same thing when he looked at me.
"And you for me." he breathed a sigh of relief before I kissed him again and embarked on the adventure that would show me if I had done right.
Maybe it wasn't for eternity and maybe we wouldn't survive it unscathed, but whatever life had to offer us, this moment alone paid off for everything.
The end.
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WE FUCKING DID IT! Last chapter people, and what better way to end it how it started? With whole hearted smut! I love it. I am so proud of myself. :D
i hope you enjoyed the last chapter and the entire fanfic. thanks for reading it.
maybe you could share it with someone else, now that it is finished. :)
weird to see where it started, what happened and how it ended.
i love you, guys.