~ Kei Tsukishima ~
It's just a club...
It's just volleyball...
She's just a girl...
So why...? Why couldn't I move as I watched her fall to the floor after hearing a 'pop'? Why was every day of practice with her flooding into my head? I didn't understand why I felt hot coals in my gut when Kageyama crouched down and lifted her up to her feet. And I didn't understand why I wanted to run after her as she hurried with an almost unnoticeable limp to the back of the gym to "use the toilet." It annoyed me, there's very few things I don't understand. A shout of my name snapped me out of my thoughts.
"What happened, Tsukishima?" That freak setter was glaring at me, the presence of Hinata was behind him, with an even worse look on his face. Annoying. They were annoying me.
"She landed on my feet." I stated plainly. "But she ran off just fine." That was my lie, I saw her limp - was I the only one who heard the sound, who saw her not walking right? A hand on my shoulder startled me.
"Why don't you go with Kiyoko to make sure she's okay. We'll keep doing the drill and you two can jump in again when you're back." It was Daichi, he didn't act like he was accusing me of anything like the other two, but he squeezed my shoulder harder than necessary. I nodded and followed our manager to the destination, with the feeling of eyes burning the back of my head. Shimizu knocked on the bathroom door first, calling out to her. She sputtered and stalled.
"I'm fine! Just had to use the bathroom! I'll be right back don't worry, Kiyoko!" She looked up at me, giving a simple nod before going to relay the message to Daichi. But I stayed behind, my hand hovering over the door handle. Tch.
I silently pushed open the door and walked in, checking the empty stalls as I went. The sound of ripping tape tipped me off that she was towards the back near the sinks. I could hear her whispering to herself.
"Not this shit again..."
When I rounded the corner, I saw her hunched over her leg poorly attempting to wrap her left ankle. With her bag haphazardly opened and rummaged through. Tears welled in her eyes as her efforts were less than successful.
"So you did get hurt." My voice carried and filled the empty space and almost made her jump to her feet. She blinked away the tears in an instant and pushed the sleeves of her usual rust-colored sweater back up; concealing her disheveled-ness.
"T-Tsukishima-san..!" She never called me that. Always just Tsukishima, or sometimes Shittyshima. "It's not-"
"Not what? Not what it looks like? Then care to explain what you're doing? Honestly..." I crossed my arms, not understanding why my tone was so sharp with her. She turned her head with a pout.
"I don't need your attitude right now..." Her voice sounded tight in her throat, as if on the verge of tears again. "I need to play. I'm not injured. I refuse..." Her tone was so serious, it threw me off. I sighed while pushing up my glasses, then crouched down by her ankle after taking the tape and pre-wrap from her hands.
"With everything you know about volleyball, I'm surprised you can't wrap an ankle." I spoke lowly, not as harsh. She tensed as I began unwrapping the tape and cloth that was clumsily strewn about her delicate skin. It was strange. I never saw her as delicate. She always had this strong, boisterous personality - one that my personality seemed to attract against my will. I was surrounded by rowdy people who refused to leave me alone. And part of me despised the magnetism of her nature. Enthusiastic and overbearing people bug me. Annoy me. They exhaust me. Like Shouyou, he's too much - so I can't help but goad him. It's why I like to tease her, but it feels different. Confusing. She finally spoke.
"My aunt taught me, but I was so stressed out I couldn't do it properly. How do you know how?" Such a small voice. Where did your intensity go?
"Taught myself. I've learned from wrapping my fingers." What's compelling me to be open with her? We're not close. I focused on her foot, immediately spotting some swelling on her outer ankle. Gingerly, I pointed to it asking if that's where her pain was. She flinched as I did so, as if I was going to poke it and hurt her. Squirming a little like she wanted to hide it.
"Yes, that's where it hurts. Don't tell anyone, please. It's not a big deal anyway, just an irritated old injury." She pleaded with me. I stayed silent, beginning to wrap her foot and being gentle as I moved her appendage. Her lips were pressed in a tight line. She seemed anxious from my silence. I took my time to observe the situation, subsequently observing a warm smell that was surrounding me - her fresh coat of perspiration mixed with whatever intoxicating perfume she always wore. Sweat and rose petals or something. As I continued, only one question came up from me.
"Why are you willing to hurt yourself over a club?"
"Huh? What do you mean?" I could feel her eyes on me now. I couldn't meet them.
"It's just a club. Why are you about to risk further injury and be stupid because of a club?" The sharpness of my voice was returning. Her actions made no sense to me, therefore were frustrating.
"It's not just a club to me. Volleyball is the only familiar thing I have here." I looked to her then, surprised - curious. She put her hand over her mouth, as if she had said something she shouldn't have. Unintentionally, our eyes met then. Endless, intense, radiating eyes of grey that were just a touch watery. "It's... it's all I got. Volleyball is the thing that will make my dad change his mind, alright?!"
She moved, getting ready to stand and storm off, but I instinctively - impulsively grabbed her by the wrist. "Toshiko-!" She was surprised by my actions and truth be told so was I. Normally, I don't act on impulse. I act on logic and calculations. So why...? "I... I'm not done with your ankle... don't move so suddenly..." Poor cover up. Tugging gently on her wrist I eased her back to sitting. I didn't want her to leave. If she was opening up... I wanted to hear more. We sat there in silence as I finished up the wrapping, the gentle and fleeting contact we shared in those moments sent whispering static through my fingers. Her breathing was soft and interrupted by hiccups as she held back tears. I sighed and stood back to my full height.
"I won't tell. Mostly because I feel responsible for what happened. If I'm gonna keep this a secret, I now feel responsible for you."
"I-it wasn't your fault! Seriously, you don't have to worry about me-"
"You seem to be incapable of hiding this fact yourself. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you have almost no idea how to hide this and try to heal simultaneously, do you?" As I met her wide eyes again she puffed up indignantly, blushing a bit in those round cheeks.
"I'm not incapable I just... I'm just alone. And I don't want my dad to find out about this and take me out of club. I'm really stressed, Tsukishima..." This was the most sincere I've ever seen her, and it just made me more confused. For her sake, I managed a small smile and rested my hand on her head. The way she looks so small right now, she's so...
"Your ankle is wrapped, we should get back out there. Act normal, will you, shortie?" Her eyes brightened as relief swept over her features. Suddenly she stood and hugged me tightly. I tensed, couldn't move or react. Her face was buried in my beating chest, my face began heating up.
"Thank you, Kei." She whispered before releasing me, putting her shoe back on and zipping up her bag. I was completely frozen. "C'mon! Let's go have fun!" She was tugging me along by the bottom of my t-shirt, like the first day I met her. The day my confusion began. But as I jogged behind her back onto the court, as I watched Hinata fret over her while she punched his arm and laughed. As she told everyone she was fine and smiled so brightly. A smile that lit up a room so effortlessly, a girl that garnered the adoration of those around her without even trying.
I think I began to understand.
~Notes from author~
Oooohhh I'm not gonna lie I really enjoyed this chapter. Tsukki can have a hard to read personality, but it's fun to put myself in his shoes! I'm pretty proud of my work here, stay tuned for more!
Xoxo, gossipgirl ;b