I Can't Explain How Upset This Makes Me
I'm so sorry! I'm not giving up on the book, I can't. But I'll be going on a break, how long I'll take, I don't really know. No matter how much I hate that I'll be placing a pause on writing, on hearing you guys complain and laugh about the characters and their oh so stupid choices. I know I gave you guys so much to look forward to with some stuff uncovered, but I'm unable to write.
I always told myself I wouldn't be affected by stuff like this sort of thing, but when my brother called me sobbing one night to tell me about a very close family friend’s passing, all I could do was tell myself that it's just a cruel prank, just like the got your nose game. But yesterday, I went to his viewing, to tell him goodbye. And, I couldn't tell myself that it was just a joke. It's been hard to breath, and I don't know why. I also haven't been able to cry much more than a little bit, and it makes me so fucking mad. IM BREAKING APART AND FOR SOME REASON MY BODY RATHER SUFFOCATE ME THAN LET ME CRY LIKE OTHERS?!
He died on his birthday, doing a job much similar to my fathers…. And all I could do as I stood in the chapel was let his nickname for me play around my head, and how it sounds bad that he's doing the one thing he always said I couldn't…
Kevin… I hope you're flying for me. I love you.
Love,
Your Angel who cant fly.