Kabanata 33
Worthy
It was sunny. An exceedingly perfect day to just roam around the grass field, raven the scents of dandelions and be one with the Earth.
I slid into my lime green cardigan crop top which I bought online plus my white mom jeans which is a bit tattered. Ade gave me a cute pair of white heels so I wore them. I did a light makeup to look a bit presentable. Makalipas kasi ang ilang araw ay bumalik na sa normal ang kulay ng balat ko. Kakaunin ako ni Lorenzo mamaya pero maaga na akong nagbihis para hindi ako magmadali kapag dumating s'ya.
"Hi." There he went again with his dashing smile punctuating his polished behavior. He's back with his go-to dress code wearing this clean white shirt making him the owner of that color plus his jeans and white shoes. I really like his sense of clothing.
Sobrang simple pero ang lakas ng dating. Exactly my type.
"Hi!" I greeted back and opened my arms for him. He then wrapped his arms around me for a warm hug.
"I missed you," he whispered and kissed the side of my head. He smells like the fresh morning.
"Magkasama lang tayo kagabi," I slightly punched his chest, ang galing talagang mambola.
"I know," he said and we both chuckled. I told him na dumaan muna kami sa isang bakeshop para bumili ng cake para sa agenda namin ngayong araw.
"Are you sure about this?" Lorenzo eyed me worriedly. Kahapon pa s'yang hindi mapakali at tanong ng tanong.
"Para sa pamilya ko," I smiled at him. Since our scene on his rooftop, hindi na s'ya humiwalay sa'kin. I got used to his presence so much. I couldn't trust him at first, but he showed me that he's worthy.
He spoiled me, not with things but with his attention. Parati kong kabuntot kapag may meetings ako. He would get me my cravings and all those things. He never complained, tuwang tuwa pa.
What I like about him the most is that he never indulges me with pressure, hinahayaan n'ya lang sa gusto kong mangyari. I wasn't that quick-witted and easy to absorb all the informations I've learned but he made it a piece of cake, to hand him my heart again. Alam n'yang kailangan ko ng oras at hindi n'ya pinagdamot sa'kin iyon.
"Let's go?" I nodded.
Papunta kami sa mansyon nila kaya medyo mahaba ang byahe. I wanted to set things clear, to make everything straight. Siguro naman sapat na ang pitong taong pagkulong ko sa sarili ko. Nandoon lahat ng pamilya n'ya at sinabihan ko s'ya na 'wag sabihin na kasama ako. I held the box of cake properly on my lap.
It was surreal. I never imagined myself doing this. Alam ko namatutuwa ang pamilya ko sa gagawin ko. If the Agustins are prominent for pride and respect, we, the Guevarras, are known for forgiveness and peace and I will live up to that, kahit pa ako nalang ang natitirang Guevarra sa mundo.
Nakatulugan ko na ang byahe at paggising ko ay wala na sa kandungan ang cake. Inilipat na ni Lorenzo sa likod. Upon our arrival, I gathered all the oxygen I need.
"Ready, baby?" Hinawakan ni Lorenzo ang kamay ko at marahang pinisil.
"Ready." Sabay kaming pumasok pagbukas n'ya ng pinto. It was nostalgic. I could see my younger self walking in the hallways, my brother's little shadow running down the stairs. Walang pinagbago ang mansyon, it just seemed a little brighter and cleaner.
Sa kusina kami dumiretso dahil doon nanggagaling ang ingay at wala masyadong tao sa labas. All of them, the Agustins, are seated in one long table at lahat sila'y lumingon nang tumikhim si Lorenzo.
"A-Apo..." Lala stood from her seat and run towards me, pero tumigil s'ya sa kalagitnaan. Like she was restraining herself to get nearer.
"La..." sabi ko, ako na ang lumapit sa kanya at yumakap. I missed her. Her bedtime stories, her food, the way she braids my hair, everything about her.
She was the one who cared for me when no one else has. The back of her eyelids tells the most beautiful stories the universe has. She treated me as her most prized possession, her ember, handled with a mother's gentle care.
"Apo... Miss ka na ni Lala," her hand traveled to my back and she caressed is tenderly.
"Priya." It was Lolo Joaquin and Isidro who stood up. Tapos na silang kumain. I gave them a small smile. Bumitaw ako sa pagkakayakap kay Lala at pumunta sa direksyon nila.
"Magandang araw po," pagbati ko. Lumapit sa'kin si Lolo Joaquin na medyo nanginginig pa ang kamay. I gave him a signal to show him that's it's okay.
They say forgetting is easier than forgiving. No, hindi ko yata kayanh kalimutan ang mga taong tumulong sa'kin noong walang wala ako. My father was at fault too, nabulag ako ng galit na dahil ng mga Agustin kung bakit wala sa tabi ko ang pamilya ko. We all have our shares of mistakes and the only thing left to do is to fix them.
"Patawad, a-apo... patawarin mo s-si Lolo... H-Hindi ko dapat g-ginawa y-yon... Sana... s-sana nandito p-pa..." I pulled Lolo Joaquin close for a hug. The whole table fell silent, I heard some of them sobbing.
Kumpleto nga pala sila. Lolo Joaquin's three sons with their wives. Kasama ang mga apo, silang magpipinsan. Lorenzo, Isidro, Melissa, Magnus the one from the party and Maximus, my doctor.
"Hi, P-Priya," Isidro's voice broke. Pinunasan n'ya ang pisngi n'ya bago lumapit sa'kin.
"Bakit ka ba umiiyak?" natatawang tanong ko but I was also crying.
"Miss na m-miss na kita. Ang tagal mong nawala, P-Priya... Iniwan mo k-kami ni K-Kuya..." mas humigpit ang yakap n'ya. He cried like a kid.
"I missed you more, S-Sid. I'm sure miss ka na rin ni K-Kael," I sincerely told him.
"Hey, that's enough," pinaghiwalay naman kami ni Lorenzo.
"Kuya naman, akala mo aagawin ko," bulong ni Isidro. Napatawa naman ako sa kanila.
"Priya!" sigaw ni Melissa at inikot ang lamesa para tumakbo papunta sa'kin. "Gaga, namiss kita."
"I missed you too," I honestly told her.
"I believe we've met, milady," Magnus, nakita ko na s'ya noon. He was present the day my brother passed away, kasama s'ya nina Lorenzo sa paghahanap sa amin.
"Architect," tawag ni Doc. Inirapan ko s'ya. "What?"
"Kaya pala ang sungit sungit mo, kalahi mo pala talaga sila," bulong ko sa kanya. He only chuckled.
"Iha..." tt was Lorenzo's parents turn. Mrs. Vira Lauren Agustin and Mr. Ignicio Agustin, showing off respect and power, it really runs in their family huh.
Naroon din ang mag-asawang Melani Agustin at Savien Agustin, Melissa's parents. Also Mrs. Maxima and Mr. Lucius Agustin, ang mga magulang naman nina Magnus at Maximus.
Isa isa talaga silang humingi ng paumanhin sa'kin. And they were careful about talking to me, I can see how well they're bonded. His family showered me with compliments, pleasant words and everything else to make me feel comfortable. They welcomed me like I belong with them. It was rare to find a love like this. Like I'm the happiest person alive. I had been speaking hatred like it's my native language but they thought me how to speak love, fluently.
I've been through this all and I've tasted my worst fall. You might see me walking away or running slow but I never backed down and I think that was the bravest thing I did. To live, despite it all.
Nananatili kami doon maging sa hapunan. We catched up a lot at hindi na ako nagtaka na halos lahat ng pangyayari sa buhay ko ay alam nila. Palagi raw nagkukwento si Lorenzo sa kanila. They weren't watching me for a hideous cause, they were guarding me, giving me protection.
We were seated in their sofa. Present lahat na daig pa ang reunion, tuwang tuwa sila na kasama ako sa iisang bubong. Katabi ko si Lorenzo habang nanonood ng pelikulang sinauna. The elderlies were laughing nonstop with the old jokes and humor.
Sina Sid naman ay nakapwesto sa may sahig at doon nagtumpukan dahil kulang sa amin ang upuan. He told me that he wanted to see my brother kaya balak ko s'yang isama sa sunod na punta ko.
"Huy..." pagkulbit ko kay Lorenzo.
"Hmm?" he murmured. Naka-akbay sa akin ang kamay n'ya at ang kabila naman ay ginagamit pangsubo ng pagkain.
"Anong trabaho n'ya?" tinuro ko si Magnus na prenteng nakaupo sa sahig at nakikinuod.
"Hmm..." he paused for a while. "Kung anong nasa isip mo ngayon, 'yun ang ginagawa n'ya," he lowkey said without looking at me.
"What do you mean?" nawala na ang atensyon ko sa pinapanood. "He's an engineer, too?"
"Can be," maikling sagot n'ya.
"Doktor din? Bartender? Marino? Abogado?" sunod-sunod kong tanong.
"Yap," he said and popped the letter p.
"I don't believe you," pinaningkitan ko s'ya ng mata. Imposible naman yatang kayang trabahuhin ng isang tao ang kahit ano. I mean, it will take forever to finish all the courses.
"Ask him," panghahamon ni Lorenzo. I cut the thought off. Masyado na akong nagiging chismosa, kasalanan 'to ni Ade.
Nagpaalam kami na pupunta muna saglit sa may dagat. Isa sa mga bagay na na-miss ko sa lugar na ito, aside from their mansion. Madilim na at malamig ang simoy ng hangin. We chose to sit on the same spot we used to sat on seven years ago.
"Oo nga pala. Anong nangyari kayna Scooby Doo at Garfield?" I curiously asked noong naalala ko na nakalimutan ko na sila.
"Sid raised them like his own," he said.
"Buhay sila!?" nanlaki ang mata ko.
"They both died, a couple of years ago. Nagpagawa si Sid ng poultry farm para sa kanila," he said like it wasn't a big deal.
"Buong poultry farm?!" I gasped. Natawa si Lorenzo dahil halos inuulit ko lang lahat ng sinasabi n'ya. It's true that it's unbelievable!
"Yeah. I kinda invested too," dagdag pa n'ya.
"You did not do that!" Sino bang nasa tamang pag-iisip at katinuan ang makakaisip ng gankng bagay? Nagpagawa talaga ng poultry farm para sa mga sisiw.
"We did. The farm's name is Manukan ni Kael at Sid. I can take you there if you want to," sabi n'ya. If possible, lalong lumaki ang mata ko. They did that? Natunaw naman ang puso ko. Kael would love that idea, so much. Even if it's a bit funny for them to own a poultry named after my brother.
We were hushed and soundless after that. Ang gaan sa pakiramdam na kasama mo ang taong nandyan palagi para sa'yo sa harap ng dagat.
Continuing, that's what I've been doing. Walking remotely, senselessly, following that light in the end of the tunnel leading to another door. This door. This fate. This scene. This love.
"Thank you, baby," I leaned closer to the man who had my heart since day one.
"For what exactly?" he cut his stare at the view in front of us and looked at me.
Palagi n'ya akong nginingitian pero ang ngiting suot n'ya ngayon ay ang nakatunaw sa buong sistema ko. His eyes would secretly squint whenever he smiles.
"For waiting. For everything," I said, still transfixed with all that had been. Malaki s'yang ngumiti.
Hindi ko maiwasang isipin na paano kung sinukuan n'ya ako? Paano kung napagod s'ya mag-intay sa'kin? Paano kung hindi kami ulit nagkita? But the good thing is that he didn't. If I was walking recklessly, he was chasing me, relentlessly. He stuck behind me like my shadow and I was so delighted to see him as my light today.
"War with you was worth the peace. You're worth it," he lowered his head and gently planted a kiss on my lips. Little did he know, he was more worthy.