She was lying on her bed. Her one arm was stuck between the back of her head and the stack of soft pillows beneath it, while the other she placed across her stomach. She hadn’t changed her clothes nor was she planning to anytime soon. She didn’t feel like moving at all. She had been staring at the high ceiling with murals depicting a story that she hadn’t decided yet whether she understood or not, for what seemed like hours now or perhaps more. She couldn’t tell exactly, though, because she hadn’t moved ever since she got inside her room. Although, telling from how the silence had now crept in and the fewer sound of marching boots and hooves from the ground outside, she could tell that it was past dinner. She scoffed disdainfully at the thought of the dinner.
The mural she was staring at was a story of some sort which she had been curious about during her first visits in the palace some years ago. But she probably wasn’t curious enough about it back then and until now, that she didn’t even try to find out what it represents or if it ever represents anything significant to the deep roots of her ancestry. But it was beautiful, that much she could tell, and definitely a tedious job to create. The colorful masterpiece in the ceiling, however old it was, was kept on its immaculate state of prestige seeing as there wasn’t any hint of dereliction, same with all the other parts of the palace and that part amused her, somehow. The butler and his staff did a terrific job in keeping the palace impressive all these years. Lek should be rewarded, Pranpriya thought. Despite her annoyance of his persistent invitation earlier by knocking on her door every now and then, calling for her, imploring her to join her parents and the Kims in the hall for dinner. Which she knew was obviously upon the order of her mother, who else, and which she ignored conscientiously every time, of course.
Pranpriya groaned when she finally changed her position. She stretched her limbs and felt her joints protested. What did the Princess Mother think, asking her to come down and join them for dinner after what happened in the drawing room? After what His Majesty had said and embarrassing her in front of Jennie and Mrs Kim. She groaned yet again at the thought of Jennie. She could hear Jennie’s voice repeatedly inside her head, calling out her name as she stormed out from them, which she completely ignored. Idiot, she called herself. Although, at some point back there, she had the urge to retrieve her steps and take Jennie as far away from everyone else in that room as possible. But she didn’t and she just completely ditched Jennie and the “family” dinner. And it was exactly the reason why she refused to come down again for dinner, no matter how persistent Lek’s knocking was and no matter how curious she was about what’s going on downstairs. Because she couldn’t bear to look Jennie in the eye any more than she could actually show herself in front of everyone else after the little drama in the drawing room. Besides, Jennie heard His Majesty, too. There would be no sense pretending that everything was fine and that they would have a lovely family dinner after what happened. Her stomach grumbled but Pranpriya paid it no attention. She was hurt. But she was more angry than hurt.
But if she’d have to be completely honest, though. She probably already knew it was bound to happen. She had expected that. That it was highly possible that she will be barred from returning to South Korea and that her father, her King of a father, will rule her fate, as he had done so from the very beginning. She knew he was more than capable of doing that and she might have accepted her providence already, reluctantly and with so much protest, but yes. She might have did that after her trip down Thammasant Alley earlier, before Jennie showed up in the palace tonight and had they not shared quite an intimate moment in the study. Seeing Jennie again after a few days of her complete detaching from her gave her hope. Which, of course, His Majesty generously crushed in an instant. But what upset her, though, was not how her father had decided without consulting her (because he’s allowed to do that) but with how carelessly he declared it, thinking that she wasn’t around to personally hear it. And really? Did he really have to do that without her? She felt betrayed in front of Jennie and her mom, no less, and like how she had predicted it, it was embarrassing on her part.
Pranpriya wondered how Jennie had faired sitting throughout the whole ordeal without her. Jennie’s voice calling her name back in the drawing room echoed once again inside her head. There was desperation in it, she remembered. And instead of staying and suffering and enduring alongside Jennie during dinner, she chose to sulk in her chamber like a spoiled brat. Jennie must have resented her by now for her selfishness. She now felt herself reduced to someone unworthy of Jennie’s devotion.
Her stomach gave a long and loud grumble again. She was hungry and she was tired and she still smelled a little strongly of chemicals, of Pathum Thani afternoon heat and disappointment. She finally took a peek at her watch. The hands there said it was already almost nine in the evening. No wonder her stomach was now loudly protesting. She wished Lek would at least remember to bring her food and thought it was very timely when she heard another series of knocking on the door. Finally, she grumbled. Along with her protesting stomach.
Pranpriya hopped a little eagerly from the bed and crossed the distance towards the door in long strides. She worked in unlatching the locks hastily and pulled the polished door open with so much anticipation. A slow smile was creeping from her face as she inhaled the mouth-watering aroma of steaming. Her smile, however, instantly faded when she saw the sardonic look on Jennie’s cat eyes.
“It honestly pleases me to know that you still recognize the sound of knockings on your royal door. We were a little worried you’ve forgotten how to work on your lock to open it,” Jennie said scornfully. Her brows were arching and she had the look on her face that clearly said she wasn’t pleased at all. She was holding a silver tray before her, loaded with sum-rub.
Pranpriya gulped, but it wasn’t because of all the delectable food on the tray.
“Wh—,”
“Don’t ever start off,” Jennie cut her off with a glare, “by pretending that you don’t know why I’m here, Lisa. It’s not going to work. I’m mad at you and what you did earlier was definitely not amusing, even in the slightest,” Jennie snapped at her and without another word, walked past her and towards the privacy of the royal chamber without her invitation while keeping her grip on the silver tray, leaving Pranpriya speechless beside the doorway.
Her Highness sighed as she stared at the back of Jennie’s pretty head, with her shiny long dark hair cascading beautifully on her spine. She then pushed the door closed with a click – without working on the locks – and stood silently. She was waiting for the confrontation while basking on Jennie’s presence, despite how pissed the chaebol was. There was no way she could escape Jennie Kim and those daunting cat eyes, Pranpriya humored herself. Had it been somebody else committing what Jennie had just did, they would be automatically arrested and thrown into a cell as penance for their impudence for who knows how long. Lese-majeste. But it was Jennie Kim and aside from the obvious fact that Jennie was not just somebody else, Pranpriya was already set to not follow royal protocols as her way of demonstration. Her father was well-aware of that already.
“You don’t have to look so disappointed that it’s me who brought you dinner instead of your butler,” Jennie said without looking at the Thai. Her voice was still clipped and her shoulders were tensed. She laid the tray on the carved rosewood and marble center table.
“I’m not,” Pranpriya said indignantly. “I’m just wondering why it has to be you,” Pranpriya asked when she finally gathered her voice. She was leaning on the door with her arms folded across her chest.
Jennie snapped her head towards the royal’s direction so fast that it took every ounce of Pranpriya to stop herself from snatching the door open and run towards the opposite direction and as far away as her feet could take her. She had never seen this side of Jennie. Well, she did once back in Irene’s party. But at least the snarling dagger-looks were not intended for her back then, unlike now. Jennie looked intimidating when mad. Like an angry cat with those snarling cat eyes fully able to throw anyone out of their poise when subjected to such glare.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jennie asked with an icy tone as she straightened up in a manner that made her look more petrifying, especially when she tilted her head a little to the side, as though she was taking a better look at her prey. Probably calculating how she would attack and where.
“Nothing. Where’s Lek, by the way? He’s supposed to do that and not you,” Pranpriya replied cautiously, backing away just in case, until her back hit the wall. So much for trying to impose her royal influence to a feisty Kim.
“Your good butler is serving the adults in the study, Your Highness. And since you were too unaccommodating to him earlier, your mother thought I should try to persuade you to at least eat something 'because it’s not like you to go to bed with an empty stomach,' she said,” Jennie replied, still looking displeased but her tone was now a little subdued.
“You’re a guest,” Pranpriya said weakly, pointing out the obvious and regretted it instantly when she saw Jennie’s brows shot up and her cat eyes flashing dagger-looks again.
“Yes, Lisa. Thank you. Exacty. Which is why I’m curious how you could just left me there alone to deal with all of it?” Jennie said, her hands now tucked inside the side pockets of her trousers. She had changed her white Chanel dress for a more laid-back cotton white tee that hugs her bodice perfectly, and was tucked inside a pair of loose brown trousers. For a petite of a woman with an additional three-inch heels of her stiletto, Jennie Kim sure did look intimidating and commanding when she activates that side of her. Gone was the cute and soft Jennie when she’s mad mad and Pranpriya knew better than to provoke Jennie Kim more than she already did.
“I’m sorry,” Her Highness said and she meant it with all her heart. And because she couldn’t think of anything else to say. She was leaning her back on the wall behind her. Her right foot was prodding aimlessly on the thick carpet, disturbing its threads because she couldn’t bear to look Jennie in the eyes without feeling bad about what she did.
Jennie shook her head and sighed. “Exactly how many times do I have to hear that from you tonight, Lisa?” she said exasperatingly.
Pranpriya looked up and met the Korean’s gaze. “I’m honestly really sorry. There’s no excuse for what I did. I know I shouldn’t have done that and I’m not proud of it, Jennie. But it’s exactly the reason why I did not join dinner. Because I don’t think I still have the face to show up there in front of you and your mom like the arrogant brat that I am and because in the first place, I did not sign up for that,” she said.
“And you think I did? You think it was some warm meet-the-parents kind of dinner? It wasn’t. Was it welcoming? No. Did I have fun? Definitely no. And I knew it would be something like that but I still went because I thought you’d be there. It would have been more bearable and less dragging had you been there, you know? Your presence would have made a lot of difference,” Jennie said, looking hurt.
“I was being selfish and I wasn’t thinking, I know. But I was hurt and I am angry. You heard him, too. You heard what he said, Jennie,” Her Highness argued while clenching her jaws. She looked away when she felt her eyes started to sting.
Jennie gave her a long look. She sighed before she said, “Look, I understand that you’re hurt and angry but this isn’t just about you, Lili. This is about us now. Because as much as I want to deny it, this also affects me and everything about me as much as it does to you. I’m honestly on the brink of losing the company – not that I blame you. It's never your fault.” She paused and heaved another long breath. “We could’ve talked about it like the adults that we are, you know? We could have put our heads together and tell them, tell your father, explain to him that he doesn’t need to bar you from going back to my country because we have come up with a better solution. But no. We missed that chance because you chose to walk away instead of fixing the situation.”
Pranpriya scoffed and shook her head. “Fixing the situation? Clearly, you don’t know him. He’s not the type to be swayed just because ‘we have come up with a better solution’, Jennie. His words are final because his words are the law,” she said.
“And clearly you failed to recognize how lucky you are for not having to fight your battle alone,” Jennie said and Lisa thought she saw a flash of emotion before Jennie’s eyes but it was gone before she could even define what it was. “But it doesn’t matter now, does it? Because we’ve missed our chance to negotiate with him if necessary. That prospect would have been better than trying to discuss things with him alone inside the ridiculously huge study in the upper floor. I honestly think he brought me there to intimidate me,” she added.
“You had a private talk with him?” Her Highness was astounded. Out of all the possible scenarios she had imagined while she kept herself confined inside her chamber, Jennie and her father having a private talk was not one of them and it surely was raising a concern from her.
“I did, yes,” replied Jennie simply and Pranpriya thought she was being unhelpful.
“Well? What did you, two, talked about?” Pranpriya asked.
Jennie again gave her a look. “What do you think, Lisa? His Majesty surely did not invite me here to talk about the economy, did he? We were talking about you,” she replied but still not offering enough information. But gone now was her clipped tone and the upset look on her face. She looked tired, though. And bothered and seemed like she was struggling to keep herself from explaining further. She was hiding something and Pranpriya wanted to know what it was.
“What did he tell you, Jennie? Did he ask anything from you?” Pranpriya inquired.
Jennie looked at her for a long moment. She opened her mouth but closed it again almost instantly. Instead she said, “Your father is a king. I don’t think he has anything to ask from me,” with a sigh that only validated Pranpriya’s concern.
“Nini...”
“My mom and I will be leaving early tomorrow,” Jennie said and started for the door. She paused in front of Pranpriya, who was still on her post beside the door. She looked at the Thai as though she was studying her face. Jennie reached out to smooth the loose strands of hair that escaped from Pranpriya's bun. “Eat your dinner before it gets cold,” she said and tiptoed to plant a kiss on the royal’s cheek. "Goodnight, Lili."
“So that’s it? You just came here in my room to argue with me and then tell me when are you leaving?” Pranpriya said while her eyes were searching on Jennie’s face. They were now standing so close she was practically inhaling all of Jennie’s sweet scent and could now see the sadness or whatever it was that Jennie was trying to keep from her. She wanted to pull Jennie closer and locked her inside her arms. And she felt stupid that she couldn’t yet and didn’t even know what’s stopping her from doing so. But perhaps it was the fact that Jennie had been distant ever since she came into the room. Or maybe it was her conscience talking, restraining herself from pulling Jennie for a kiss. Pranpriya castigated herself silently. Your fault, she told herself.
Jennie shrugged slowly. She managed to give the royal a lazy smile before saying, “I don’t know, Lili. You tell me. You were the one who ran away and kept herself to her...to this—,” Jennie paused to marvel at the overall interior of Prapriya’s chamber, “this is a huge room, by the way. Your apartment could fit in here. I guess you were right when you said the walls are suffocating,” she said which earned her a scowl from the Thai. She was about to reach the handle but Pranpriya beat her to it and held her hand.
“Stay?” Her Highness whispered almost pleadingly. An act that her father would surely disapprove because a Manoban should never beg. A princess should never beg. But she was not a princess tonight. At least that was how she was feeling at the moment. Because in that moment while holding Jennie’s hand, she was just Lisa. The plain Lisa who had no title to her name and who fell in love with Jennie Kim. Whose heart was beating fast and loudly while looking imploringly at Jennie.
“What?” Jennie asked, even though she heard it clearly the first time. She was frowning but her heart was leaping furiously against her chest, it was giving her exuberant pains. Her heart was dancing in the familiar trembling loud thuds that she could only feel when being stared at by those soft brown gaze and realized just how much she loved the woman. But she needed to leave now before her whole system would betray her.
“Stay,” Pranpriya said with a smile curving at the corner of her mouth. Her eyes, however, were now getting darker as she dropped her gaze hungrily on Jennie’s frowning mouth.
The chaebol hesitated at first. But her determination to leave was slowly disappearing when she saw how Pranpriya was wetting those plump lips while looking at her. She was impossibly hard to resist, Pranpriya was. And so Jennie did not need another telling, nor did she have to say a word. She just flung her arms around the royal’s neck, tiptoeing a little. Pranpriya wasted no time and welcomed Jennie with hot smoldering kisses that took their breaths away and which Jennie responded with the same, if not more, devotion. As though they had been deprived of such pleasure for too long, despite the fact that they had sneaked in the confines in one of the many rooms around the palace earlier. The kiss deepened as Pranpriya’s hands were now freely roaming and molding and grazing on the supple curves on Jennie’s body, searing Jennie’s skin like hot rods and leaving invisible marks. They tripped and stumbled at some point without leaving each other’s mouths and with their hands still holding on to each other and next thing they knew they were falling and lying on the soft mattress, with Jennie’s body pinned beneath Pranpriya’s.
“Khuṇ swy māk,” Her Highness whispered hoarsely. Her smoldering brown eyes held Jennie’s gaze while her palm was stroking gently on the smooth porcelain skin on Jennie’s face. Her fingers then traced the outline of Jennie’s lips and which Jennie boldly licked the tip and then sucked them, which earned her a desperate groan from Pranpriya, like a warrior ready to pounce again. Her Highness held the chaebol’s chin, tilted it upward so that she could bury her face down on Jennie’s neck.
The night was hot and young. A clock somewhere in the palace had just chimed, signalling another hour and a change of the royal guards’ night patrolling. The soft sound of the hooves and the marching boots outside on the palace ground could be heard faintly inside the royal chamber. Faintly, because what mostly filled the silence of the hallowed chamber were the sighs, the involuntary gasps, the guttural moans and the desperate groans that the two lovers were humming and singing with their lids fluttering in droopy manners and with their hearts beating loudly and racing against the other. And at some point after they both had freed each other from the garments that hindered them from the liberty of exploring once again the secrets and wonders of each other’s bodies, there was Jennie singing praises of Pranpriya’s name in jagged breaths and raspy voice because of the way she was glorified in the most beautiful and satisfying ways possible.
Jennie’s body was stretched and arched perfectly. Her toes were curling, her hands were gripping on the satin sheets and beads of hot sweats dripping on her bare skin as her moistened folds and the pulsating tiny rosy bud of her core were pleasured passionately and provocatively by the strokes of the royal tongue. It was pleasure beyond words. There was no way she could ever come up with a perfect word to describe how spectacular and seductive Pranpriya was making her feel and experience at the moment. Especially when she felt the long, slender fingers sliding smoothly inside her, ploughing and drilling, touching and hitting the right spots, thrusting and grazing the walls of her core, slowly and then faster and faster and she could feel her muscles tightened and until she saw another universe explode before her as she released; her hands gripping on Pranpriya’s slender shoulders, fingernails digging on the smooth skin. And before she could even extinguished the flame mounting inside her, there was Pranpriya’s mouth already covering and invading hers again, giving her a taste of her own orgasm, kissing her again with more passion and devouring her mouth with so much devotion that it was almost impossible for her to properly breathed. But at the same time providing her the exceeding amount of room to breathe, if that was even possible. It was exhilarating and mind-blowing and Jennie wanted more. So much more.
And the Princess was giving her so much more. Gratifying both their hunger and despair and the more and deeper they were exploring each other’s bodies, the more it seemed impossible for any of them to stop. And perhaps none of them wanted to stop, anyway. Even when the clock chimed another hour and a new set of soft marching boots and prancing hooves could be heard from the palace ground outside. And another hour. And another hour came by, which they now decided to spend on the royal bath adjacent to the chamber, with an intricate design for its interior and a set of beautifully-framed small mirrors decorating the walls. And there, inside the nineteenth century-old ivory tub with ornate brass faucets they decided to lay, covered in bubble baths that smelled of flowers and spices and a little cinnamon. Jennie was leaning and pressing her bare skin on Her Highness’ naked front, bottoms placed and fitted perfectly between Her Highness’ legs while her own legs were spread apart with her one foot raised on the edge of the tub. It was provocative in such a way but also so satisfying at the same time. Especially with the water making their skins slippery and Pranpriya’s long slender fingers slipping and sliding in slow and perpetual fashion on her folds beneath the bubbled surface.
They had been lying there for half an hour or so already and none of them was saying a single word since then, allowing the silence of the night to envelop them. They just laid there with their bareness soaked in fragrant waters, bodies spent and sore and with their eyes closed and there was Pranpriya occasionally humming softly made-up tunes on Jennie’s ears that would make the Korean chuckle softly. And many times, the royal would kiss Jennie behind the ears or at the top of her head, which would earn her a pleased smile from the chaebol and a quick peck on the lips or a squeeze on the hand.
“How much do you love me?” Pranpriya muttered softly after a while. Her fingers drawing tiny circles on Jennie’s skin.
Jennie smiled from the tickling sensation Pranpriya’s tiny circles are giving her. “A lot, Lili,” she said with her eyes closed.
“How much is a lot?” Pranpriya asked, a hint of laughter was on her drowsy voice.
It took a while for Jennie to answer it. Because she knew that while Pranpriya’s question was asked in a humorous manner, she had to answer it truthfully. Not for Pranpriya anyway, but for herself. Only, there was no right or wrong answer, she realized. There was only what she felt and what she knew her heart would say if only it was gifted with the ability to speak its truth. And the truth was she loved Pranpriya more than anything or anyone and she was more than willing to give whatever was asked from her to prove it.
“Remember when we were driving back to Hongdae from Tongyeong and we were talking about the smell of our cars and I told you you smelled of cinnamon and Christmas?” Jennie said with a chuckle and Pranpriya hummed a lazy ‘yeah’ and so Jennie went on. “I could not remember anymore the last time that I had spent a good Christmas at home. It’s silly but when I met you, you reminded me so much of Christmas. With a wool blanket wrapped around me and a plate of cookies and a mug of steaming hot chocolate. You make me feel like that, Lili. Warm and cozy.”
“Is that how much you love me?”
“No. It’s only a prelude of how much I’m willing to love you. I could tell you many different things and reasons why I love you, but I might go back to telling you again and again how much you’re making me feel warm and cozy. Like a home. Because that’s what you are to me, Lili. A home.”
“It’s ironic how I have been living in different rooms of different hotels and inns in different countries for years and have somehow forgotten the concept of home and here you are telling me I feel like home. But I like it a lot, though. It’s giving me a sense of purpose, I guess,” Pranpriya said.
“But you do know you have a bigger purpose, don’t you?” Jennie said carefully.
Pranpriya scoffed and said, “Become a queen and lead a kingdom? I still strongly believe I’m not fit to become one.”
“Why not?” asked Jennie.
“Because...”
Because she still could not find it in her heart to accept that fate, Pranpriya contemplated. The idea of taking over her father’s throne and lead a kingdom as big and as old and as wealthy as theirs was an enormous task. And she had accustomed herself to elude such gigantic of a responsibility, especially like becoming a queen. She had always known she wanted none of it. In fact, she remembered discussing about it once or twice with her grandfather, the late and former king. The revered old king could only laugh kindly at her predicaments that time, telling her that she was still too young to even think about how to behave like an adult and that she should focus herself more to the things that make her heart flutter with excitement. And thus she did. Reason why she followed what her yearning heart was dictating her – to follow her dreams by indulging and cultivating her passion in photography and finding Jennie along the way.
Besides, she knew her father. He was not willing to bend the rules. He could be less conservative than any of the important people on his kingdom but he was definitely not someone who’s willing to upend what was already conventional, for her sake – for her caprice. Because she knew that was how His Highness was looking at all of these bludgeons and challenges on his feet, caused by her recklessness and impertinence – a caprice. And perhaps it was one of the many reasons why she could never set her eyes on the throne. Because she had never been there for him and the kingdom. She was out there doing what she wanted to do without so much as minding everyone back home, without so much as opening her emails from the royal bureau and the royal office and without so much as updating herself with all the stuff and news about the royal family and the kingdom. She made herself an outcast and for that, she deemed herself not fit to just barge in and take what was supposed to be hers by birth. She wasn’t that shameless and she really didn’t want to take the crown, anyway. Someone else from their lineage was fit to have it.
“Because I’m allowed to refuse it, Jennie,” Pranpriya said simply and let out a long yawn.
“Come on. Let’s get dry and go to bed,” Jennie said as the palace clock chimed yet another hour. She removed herself from being entangled with Pranpriya and emerged from all the foams and bubbles. Her bareness could be seen in all the mirrors with ornate frames decorating the wall, with waters dripping on her skin and tiny bubbles bursting in silent pops. She pulled the taller woman from being half-submerged in the bath and led them under the elegant and refashioned shower. They kissed and made love one more time under the raining water and finally rinsed off the soaps and the excess of sex and dried themselves afterwards.
“How much do you love me?” Jennie asked when they were both dressed – she was wearing one of Pranpriya’s night dresses – and have already crawled on the huge bed.
“So much, that I’m willing to give up my title just so I can be with you,” Her Highness replied in her sleepy voice as she pulled Jennie closer and wrapped her arm around Jennie’s tiny waist.
“You know I will never ask that from you,” Jennie said solemnly while stroking Pranpriya’s forearm.
“I know. But that’s how much I love you, Jennie,” Pranpriya whispered before dozing off to sleep.
....
Jennie woke up with a start after she heard the clock chimed another hour somewhere in the palace. She was so disoriented at first that she did not recognize nor did she remember where she was, until she heard Pranpriya’s soft breathing beside her. The Thai was still spooning her and it was difficult for her to move without fearing that she might wake Pranpriya up. She freed her hand to search for the Thai’s Rolex that she remembered Pranpriya placed above the table beside the poster bed when she took it off, along with her clothes last night.
The watch said it was already half past four in the morning. The silence of the dawn and the stillness of the room, along with the even breathing of the Thai beside her, were giving her pangs in the chest. In an hour or so, she would be leaving and uncertain when she will be back, if she will be back. Given the gravity of the situation and the parting words from His Majesty last night, Jennie knew it would be impossible to be back. The thought was already depressing.
Jennie disentangled herself from Pranpriya’s embrace as cautiously as she could to not wake the royal from her deep slumber and quietly raised from the bed. She gathered her clothes from the carpeted floor and dressed in perfect silence. Afterwards, she laid carefully the night dress in one of the cushioned chairs and moved beside the bed. She just stood there and stared at the sleeping Princess. Her heart was slowly breaking while staring carefully at the royal’s peaceful expression, as though she was studying every details. She looked so beautiful even when asleep, Pranpriya was, even with her lips parted slightly and her fringe disturbed. Jennie smiled despite the tears falling on her cheeks.
“I love you, Lili,” she whispered after she kissed Pranpriya on the temple. Pranpriya stirred but only to change her position. “Don’t hate me, love,” Jennie said and turned her back.
She paused in the middle of the room and took one last look at everything, as though memorizing all the things that would remind her of that moment, with tears still streaming down her cheeks. Her heart was getting heavier each passing second.
The silver tray was still on the rosewood table, the varieties of food were untouched; Pranpriya’s clothes were strewn carelessly on the floor near the bed footings; the elegance of the royal chamber that spoke of what and who Pranpriya was beyond the Lalisa persona. She took one last look at the sleeping Pranpriya, who looked so peaceful that Jennie was already feeling sorry. Her heart ached for her. She wanted to touch and kiss her one last time but she knew that by doing so would only make it more difficult for her to leave.
Jennie sighed before she resumed her pace and started for the door. And with a heavy heart she held the handle. She turned it so slowly and pulled the door ope quietly. And with one last sweeping glance at the overall of the royal chamber, she closed the door with a click and started walking away.
If there was one significant thing that she had learned from her father’s passing, it was that parting was never easy. That there was really no beauty in goodbyes, only heartache. There would be pain and there would be lots of tears and regrets over too many sleepless nights and she wasn't sure if she was up for it. How could anyone be ready for such despair and darkness?
“How much do you love my daughter?”
“Too much that I can give up my everything for her sake, Your Majesty,” Jennie replied in earnest.
“Then help her realize her fate, Miss Kim.”
His Majesty wasn’t even asking but Jennie knew that something had to be done. And so she made one final request. That she be allowed to talk to Pranpriya, to her Lili, one last time before she'd give her up – her everything. And now here she was, walking alone along the deserted hallway with her head down and her heart shattering into pieces. If there was a sound of a broken heart, Jennie thought it might sound like a delicate glass cracking and breaking, with its shards dropping on the floor and splitting into many tinier pieces. Or perhaps it was the sound of her footsteps against the cold floor – heavy, dragging and hollow, while she was walking away from the very reason her heart was pumping life and bringing color into her ostensibly less colorful existence. His Majesty did not asked this from her, but she thought it was for the better. One might see it as a betrayal. Or a cowardice. But she had an empire to save and Pranpriya was bound for a bigger task. Perhaps one day they will have their shot. When the society was more welcoming and the circumstance was less complicated.
The canvasses of the former and important members of the royal family were peering at her as she passed by, as though sympathizing with her. Or perhaps thanking her for sacrificing her love for the good of both worlds. Who knew?
“Mom? Are you awake?” Jennie asked her mom the moment she entered her room.
Mrs Kim looked like she could do some more sleep. But she immediately rose from the bed and without a word, she wrapped her arms around Jennie. And there inside her embrace, Jennie poured everything that she was trying so hard to contain, including the pain of her father’s passing that she had been bottling up and denied herself from feeling. She sobbed and cried and there was Mrs Kim crying with her. Feeling her pain as if they were her own.
“I’m sorry, Ruby Jane,” Mrs Kim could only say.
"I want to leave immediately," Jennie said.