The Beast
I watched Charlene approach the asshole. Was I sorry? Nah, although I confess that I did feel a little guilty. Charlene seemed a little too gullible, a little too nice. When did I start to develop a conscience? I didn't know Charlene and truthfully I didn't want to know her. The asshole was another matter. I hope to hell he was uncomfortable enough that he was willing leave on his own.
"What did you just do?" Audrey asked.
"Don't ask, it's better if you don't know."
Audrey nodded her head. "So basically it would piss me off?" She sighed.
I looked over at the table, it was time to get her mind off of my problems and onto her own problem. Problems I knew that she did not want to talk about. "Why is he still sitting there?" I said this while pointing at her husband. God, I still couldn't believe that she got married and forgot to mention this to me. I had enough, I didn't want to hear about my problems. I was trying to distract her so that she would drop her current subject which was basically my fuck up life. Yes, it was fucked up, I really didn't need people to tell me this.
"Don't ask you, you won't like the answer," she smirked.
I couldn't help but laugh, this was one of the reasons I loved Audrey. She was an amazing woman and my dad was a very stupid man. She was sharp as a tack and extremely witty. Let me tell you that as a teen trouble maker (which I confess to being), Audrey was the best mom ever. I got out of more trouble than you will ever know because Audrey reduced the teachers and other school officials into bumbling idiots. It was amazing how she could completely turn the tables on someone.
I looked back at Coach Dickhead's table. Charlene was talking up a storm when all of a sudden she apparently fell into Coach Dickhead's lap. She wrapped an arm around his neck and then grabbed the beer that he had been nursing. She giggled and took a big sip of his drink. I saw the asshole trying to get her off his lap. The more he tried the tighter Charlene's grip became. I was beginning to think that the girl must have taken some rodeo classes because she was doing a pretty good job of not budging and Coach Didckhead was floundering. I chuckled, Audrey shook her head in disapproval and slapped my arm.
"God Damnith, that hurt," I said rubbing my abused arm.
" Let me enjoy my small victory." I implored.
"That small victory is going to take a big chunk out of your ass," Audrey warned. She was probably right. Hell, I was pretty sure there was a billboard in heaven keeping track of all my wrongdoings and I was going to go to hell in an express elevator when I die.
Just then like a bad omen Jack appeared.
"Do you have a minute?" He asked
"No"
"This is important," Jack whined.
That was the problem, everything was important to Jack.
As if Jack had read my damn mind he then said "I mean really important" Jack continued. Yep, his mind-reading abilities were clearly intact.
I took a deep breath and tried to center myself. It never worked, why I kept trying was lost on me. It is not like I believe in miracles, unicorns, or a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. No, I was too much of a realist to believe in shit like that. What I want to believe in was that there was some universal force at work that kept everything in balance. Whether it was that circle life bullshit that Disney movies peddled, or if Karma really existed, I needed that to kick in. I needed to find some type of balance. I looked at Jack, I felt that whatever was coming next was going to be a time bomb. Call it a bad premonition, a foreshadowing of events to come, or a gut feeling, I knew whatever was going to happen was going to be bad.
"How bad?"
Jack scratched his head. Clearly trying to figure out the right words, the best word choice. Jack did not realize that bad news was bad news and I was going to be unhappy no matter how he phrased the words that were going to come out of his mouth.
I looked back at the table, I guess I was going to be paying for my sins sooner than expected.
"Well, are you going to tell me?" I roared. I couldn't help it. I was a little testy.
Jack took a step back. I slammed my hands on the counter in front of me. Jesus, my headache was getting worst. "Jack" I snared.
I heard the audible gulp as Jack started backpedaling. I guess it was a natural instinct that made him take a step back. It wouldn't stop me from killing him.
"Calm down," Audrey said as she wrapped her arm around mines. As if that would stop me from killing. Who was I kidding, Audrey probably could save him.
"Let me kill him" I muttered.
Audrey laughed, "Stop joking around. You are scaring him."
"Fear is a good thing," I replied as a grabbed the rag on the counter a viciously started scrubbing. My OCD was kicking in. I started scrubbing harder taking out my anger on the counter since Audrey wouldn't let me kill Jack today.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see both of them watching me attack the counter. They also seemed to be engaged in some type of silent communication. I slammed a mug on the counter and watch them flinch. I grabbed another mug and slammed that on down on the counter as well.
"Uhm, boss what are you doing?" Jack mumbled. Guess he wasn't as scared as I thought? Well, there was still time to correct that. I slammed another mug on the counter, rattling the two mugs next to it.
"What the fuck do you think I am doing? " I snarled.
Jack pulled at his collar as though he was having trouble breathing. "Um never mind," He mumbled taking off.