Kabanata 30
Escape
Have you ever looked at the stars and wonder if they were burning just for you?
I do. I always do.
I believe we are all haunted, we are all a ghost of our emotions. Succumbing in the dark, afraid of what lies ahead. We will forever be caged until we gather up that courage and use it as a key to get out.
It was a fine and normal day. The sky's awake and there was something the breeze is trying to say, peace, at last. Everything was smooth. Everything was fine. And my heart is the only exception.
"Wala pa ba tayo, Kuya Dim?" si Yñigo na inip na inip na sa byahe. Maglilimang oras na kami sa sasakyan pero medyo malapit na naman sabi ni Dim. I'm with him, Yñigo, Ade who is sleeping soundly and Crispin.
"Isang kurap nalang<' Dim said.
"Wala pa rin naman," si Yñigo na kumurap talaga.
I have this strange habit of searching for the ocean whenever I'm lost. There's something about the waves that brings me to my own port.
"We're here!" Dim announced at mukhang may radar si Ade dahil agad bumangon.
"OMG! Yes! Sa wakas! Dagat, here I come!" agad s'yang bumaba ng kotse at pumunta sa dagat. Iniwan na talaga ang gamit n'ya sa sasakyan.
"Tayo na naman pagbubuhatin," reklamo ni Dim.
"Anong tayo? Ikaw lang!" I ran with Ade and Yñigo making Dim call our names loudly.
We stayed outside and when the heat turned painful on our skin, we went to our room. Iisa iyon na may tatlong kwarto sa loob, one for Yñigo and Dim at sa amin ni Ade. The other one's left vacant.
I made up my mind to get tanned. I wanted to have bronze skin, those that shine under sunlight. I am a fan of morenas. Kaya kahit sobrang init ay nagbabad ako sa sun lounger.
I bought tons of bikinis, like Ade. She loves dressing up, nahawaan na ako. I'm wearing a cute cow print, two piece and placed my hair in a bun. May suot din akong sunglasses to keep myself away from the excruciating heat.
I stared at the horizon and infinity ahead of me. I felt one with the ocean, ruling my own waves.
In the afternoon we tried jet skis and other rides. We spent nights on the beach, playing with sand on our feet. Kahit ngayon lang, kakalimutan ko muna ang katotohanan. Hahayaan ko muna ang sarili kong magbabad sa pantasya.
Masayang tumakas kahit paminsan-minsan. Tumakas sa magulong mundo. Today, I will treat myself. I think I deserve some goodness too.
I was busy sipping a coconut juice when someone familiar sat beside me. Pumasok na si Ade sa loob dahil medyo malamig na. I think it was our second or third night in the resort. Dim and Yñigo on the other hand are fast asleep, kanina pa. Napagod siguro sa mini adventure namin.
"Destiny na talaga tayo," Doctor Cris said.
"Doc!" I happily chanted at pumaling ako sa kanya to see a clear vision of him.
"Architect." We both reached our dreams, hindi man sabay, hindi man magkasama but we both reached it.
"Kumusta?" I asked.
"I'm doing pretty well," he sound contented, I wish I was too. "Ikaw? Anong ginagawa mo dito?"
"Bakasyon," I sipped on my juice. The silence stretched.
"I heard about what happened. I didn't know," he said at bumuntong hininga ako. "I knew nothing before, the Agustins were quiet about this."
"They don't want their names ruined," I said as I recalled what their lawyer told me.
"How are you coping up?" he reluctantly asked.
"I... I don't know," sabay tingala ko sa langit, he did the same. It's kind of dark already but the lights from the resort behind was enough.
"You know... Lorenzo wasn't the one who published the article," he stated after a long silence.
Nanlaki ang mata ko sa kanya.
"What do you mean?" curious kong tanong. It's clearly written there that he was the one!
"Someone used his name. I don't know who but I believe it's someone you know," tahimik n'yang dagdag.
"Paano mo nalaman?" I won't just believe him in an instant.
"I was with them..." hinayaan ko s'yang magsalita. I know the Agustins are too much to handle, too much for my mind but I need to know. "I was with Lorenzo when he was tracking down whoever that person was. He never slept. S'ya mismo ang pumunta sa kompanya ng nagpublish and he threatened them. I've never seen him that mad. Hindi rin alam ng kompanya kung paano nila narealease ang article yet Lorenzo still sued them..."
"He sued them?" gulat kong tanong.
"Uh huh. All of them, actually. Hanggang hindi raw naglalapag ng pangalan kung sinong publisher," patuloy n'ya.
"Inutusan ka ba n'ya? Does he know I'm here? Anong–"
"Hindi ganoon," he chuckled at my outburst. "I'm doing a medical mission nearby. Dito ako tumitigil sa resort. I happened to see you here so..."
Pinaningkitan ko s'ya ng mata. "I don't believe you."
"Hindi ko kayang magsinungaling sa'yo. I'm with Lorenzo's cousin, your doctor, Maximus Agustin. Don't worry, he doesn't know you're here." Nakahinga ako ng maluwag. I trust him.
We were back with nature. He silently sat beside me, inhaling all that comes to us. I'm glad he's here. I'm really glad he's here.
"I really like you, Priya," I remained silent with his confession. "I pursued my education to prove something to you. You're one of my reasons," he smiled.
"But seeing how Lorenzo fought for you, for your name to be clear, I realized that you don't deserve less. You don't deserve me. You deserve someone like him."
"I don't deserve anyone," I gave him a smile, a genuine one. Of there's something I deserve in this world, it's myself.
"You'll get over this, Priya. You're the toughest woman I've met. Kung wala lang Lorenzo naligawan na kita," he mentioned his last sentence silently kaya hindi ko naintindihan.
"Come again?" pagtatanong ko.
"Ang sabi ko pumasok ka na at malamig na," he pinched my nose. "Good night, Priya."
"Good night, Doc," I rewarded him a smile.
We decided to call it a night, after telling each other what we've been through, of course. It was also hard for him, he's also financially unstable but the Agustins got his back from the beginning.
The next day Ade and I are going to a nearby spa and salon, I also wanted to dye my hair but I was aiming for a respectful look.
But like what Ade always say, we make our own rules.
Sabay kaming pumili ng kulay. I was planning on a light shade of brown only in the ends but Ade was a bit hardcore. She wanted red but we ended up getting black roots and gray tips instead.
Nakakapanibago, parang ibang tao ako. I wasn't as white as before when I arrived here but I didn't achieved my goal color.
"Wow! Hindi kita nakilala, Priya," puna ni Dim.
"Ako, nakilala mo ba?" pagsingit ni Ade na iwinagayway pa ang buhok n'ya.
"Kapag hindi kinakausap, quiet lang ha?" pag-aasaran nila.
"Tara na nga, Priya. Hahanapan nalang kitang jowabels para exciting ang talambuhay mo." It's not yet summer pero marami na ang tao sa resort. Most of them are foreigners.
"Akin 'yon!" turo ni Ade sa lalaking nakatalikod sa'min. Hinila n'ya pa ako palapit. Ang kapal talaga ng mukha ng babaeng 'to.
"Ade, mahiya ka nga," pagsaway ko.
"Kapag nahiya ako, hindi n'ya ako mapapansin. Kapag hindi ako napansin, hindi ko magiging boyfriend. Kapag hindi ko naging boyfriend, hindi ako magkakaanak. Kapag–"
"Oo na! Ang daming sinasabi!" nagpahila nalang ako sa kanya.
The man was talking to a fisherman, his back was on ours. He's wearing a white loose polo with beach shorts. Bakit parang lahat ng nakikita ko dito namumukhaan ko?
"Hi!" paninula ni Ade. I was about to back out nang makilala ang lalaki pero agad na itong humarap.
"Priya?" he faced us. Dismayado namang umungot si Ade.
"Bakit ikaw ang pinansin? Ang epal mo," bulong n'ya sa'kin.
"Dr. Maximus," my throat went dry with the mention of his name. Naulit ni Cris na kasama s'ya pero hindi konnaman inakapa na magkakasalubong ang landas namin.
"What are you doing here?" hindi pa s'ya makapaniwala na nandito ako sa harap n'ya. After all the lies they fed me, here's one of them again.
"Paalis na kami," I ended our conversation.
"Hindi pa! Papunta pa–" Ade complained.
"Aalis na tayo," hinila ko s'ya paalis.
"Wala na! Wala na akong mga anak!" pagrereklamo n'ya sa gilid ko.
"He's Maximus Agustin," pinagkunutan n'ya ako ng noo.
"What?!" Ngayon mas nauna pa s'yang maglakad sa'kin na parang ayaw makalapit sa mga kalahi nila.
"Uuwi na tayo!" she announced when we reached our room.
"H-Huh?" naaalimpungatang sabi ni Dim, bagong gising samantalang tulog pa rin si Yñigo. Gising sila kaninang madaling araw kaya naman knock out sila ngayon.
"Bumangon ka na d'yan mag-iimpake na tayo," si Ade ulit.
"Adelaide, pwede bang isarado mo 'yang bunganga mo?" antok na sabi ni Dim.
"Hindi pwede! Tumayo ka na d'yan– Wait, Priya, saan ka pupunta?" Parang natakam ako sa buko juice.
"Lalayas." Iniwan ko na sila doon at hinayaang magkagulo.
I went to the stall at nadismaya nang makitang sobrang haba ng pila. I won't blame them, talagang fresh buko juice kasi ang inooffer nila. I patiently waited for my turn for about half an hour at noong ako na ang oorder ay wala na pala.
"Sorry po, Ma'am. Balik po kayo after 15 minutes, kukuha pa po ng buko yung kasama ko," sabi ng tindera.
"Hindi ba pwedeng magpa-reserve? Mag-iisang oras na akong nakapila dito," inis kong sabi, maging ang mga nakapila sa likod ko ay ganoon rin ang pinta ng mukha.
"Hindi po pwede, Ma'am," I rolled my eyes and took my exit. Sayang lang ang oras ko natakam pa naman ako.
My feet consciously brought me to the seaside. Mahina lang ang hampas ng alon at malamig ang tubig. I removed my slippers and played with the sea.
Nakatungo ako habang nilalaro ang buhangin nang may makita akong pares ng paa sa harapan ko. I looked up only to see a familiar set of eyes.
"What are you doing here?" Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko.
"Aalis din ako agad," he urgently said nang akma akong aalis. "I just wanted to give you this."
He extended his other arm na may hawak na buko juice. Takang inabot ko naman iyon.
"Bye. Take care," iyon lamang at gaya nga ng sinabi ay umalis kaagad s'ya. I was stunned with his gesture so I stared at his retreating back.
I sipped on my buko juice. "What was that for, Lorenzo?"