"It is my heart's fault.
Why did it even believe him?"
✧✧✧
Dear Soobin,
I don't know if I can call you my dear or not, but still...it's me, your Lia. Fuck I don't even know if I'm yours anymore after what happened to us.
I may seem pathetic, holding a pen in my hand, writing this journal for you. Even if it's stupid, I'm still willing to do.
When Ryujin told me that writing is the best way to let your feelings out, I didn't expect that I would actually buy this notebook.
This stiff-back notebook has been in my shelf for two weeks. Now I've finally decided to open it and utilise.
I tried everything to soothe my pain but nothing worked. All the things I did just added more to my heartache.
This journal is one last hope in convincing me that things are gonna work out in the end because I've lost hopes since the beginning.
Everytime I'll think of you, I will write it down here in an attempt to forget you. I hope, hope that with passing time I'll be used to of your absence.
Yeah, now I really do sound pathetic. But what could I do anyways? I'm miserable, powerless and broken.
Is it my fault that my heart refuses to let you go, even if I know you have already gone too far away from me? Absolutely no.
But, is it my fault that I became so attached to you, attached to an extent where it's difficult to even breathe without your presence? Absolutely yes.
I shouldn't have grown fond of you beside me every second. Blame my heart for loving you way too much.
I should've known that you'll not always be with me, as you promised. I should've known.
I know you will not answer and I'm stupid asking it. But, why did you leave? Why did you leave me so suddenly that you couldn't even justify your actions?
I hate you, but I still love you. Please make me unlove you.
✧✧✧
"He never came. He never will."