Staring at Noah as he spoke to his brother, I knew something was seriously wrong. It was rare that things caught Noah off guard and to see the terror spreading across his face with each word, I knew that he didn't have the situation under control.
Trying not to panic, I didn't want to stress Noah out more so I stayed quiet while he finished up the phone call. Without a goodbye, Noah let the phone slide from his ear and nearly dropped it to the asphalt. Without looking at me, he tried to process whatever Eli had told him.
"Noah," I urged him, "say something."
Opening and closing his mouth without a word, Noah struggled to formulate a sentence and the longer he took to speak, the more my imagination ran wild. Finally, he raked his hand through his thick hair and made eye contact with me.
"After I left, were you alone?" Noah asked blankly and it took me a minute to figure out what he meant.
While I wasn't proud of the fact that I had willingly gone with Azrael, I had to be honest with Noah about what happened. Not to mention, it seemed to be a matter of life or death at the moment.
"I left town for a bit so that my place could get repaired." I said simply.
"Repaired?" Noah raised his eyebrow at me and I knew that trying to skirt around the truth was both futile and a waste of the minimal time we had.
"Azrael..." I started but Noah put his hand up and I fell silent.
"Did you go with him?" He asked bluntly, clearly not trying to beat around the bush, either. "Were you with him the whole time?"
I nodded because I was too embarrassed to speak. Noah closed his eyes to fight back the anger. Again, I only nodded.
"Jesus, Lena!" Noah scoffed but quickly pulled himself back and put a lid on his disapproval.
"What did Eli say?" I asked him.
My words seemed to cut Noah to the quick. Instead of the usual way he sugar coated things for me—especially about being a reaper—he looked me dead in the eyes and didn't hold back, "you're in danger."
"How?" I asked with a dry voice. Thanks to all of the things Noah showed me—things that I otherwise would never have believed, I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt this time.
"I can't explain here and we don't have the time." Noah said hurriedly as he scanned the parking lot for signs of Azrael but we were seemingly alone.
"What are you talking about?" I demanded. "You have to..."
"—we don't have the time." Noah argued. "We have to get back to Moorehouse and I'll explain everything on the way."
What the fuck?
I was so sick of being shuffled from place to place for my protection. I wasn't made out of porcelain and I sure as hell deserved an explanation.
Opening my mouth to make my point to Noah, I saw the urgency on his face as well as the genuine terror. He wasn't trying to be an asshole; he was scared. I closed my mouth and decided not to push it.
For whatever reason, I was doubting Noah and that wasn't like me. I hadn't felt like myself for a bit—since Azrael and Noah destroyed my living room. The feelings that I felt so strongly for Noah were somehow muted and I started feeling unwanted things for Azrael instead. I couldn't comprehend what was happening to me but that had to have something to do with whatever danger I was in. Whenever someone was in danger, it usually had to do with Azrael.
"Fine." I said simply and Noah almost keeled over in surprise. He knew me better than that and so with my submission, he realized that something was indeed wrong.
Without another word, Noah's arm was around my waist and he was leading me to his Mustang. I didn't hesitate as I got into the car and Noah sped out of the parking lot within minutes.
Azrael could find us without any real effort and so I wasn't sure what Noah's plan was but he was hellbent on getting to Moorehouse and so that's where we would go. I knew very little of his childhood home nor had I ever been there but at least there, we'd have Eli and Finn—although against Azrael, no one really stood a chance.
It wasn't until we left Cedar Falls behind that I dared open my mouth to speak. The white of Noah's knuckles as he clenched the steering wheel told me that I should wait for the right moment. Turning to him, he kept looking in the rearview mirror.
"I need to know, Noah." I pleaded as I broke the deafening silence between us.
Noah looked over at me and I knew that he wasn't trying to keep me in the dark but he was genuinely unsure himself.
"Eli thinks that something happened when Azrael healed you." Noah hesitated.
"Something like what?" I raised my eyebrow and tried not to let my voice crack under the anxiety building beneath my skin. Noah chose his words carefully and that's how I knew that whatever it was, it was bad.
"I'm not sure, yet." He sighed and while he didn't have all of the answers, I knew that he had more than he was offering up.
"Don't try to protect me." I said softly with no real conviction in my voice. "Rip off the bandaid and just say it."
Every second that Noah hesitated felt like forever and it wasn't as if I expected the news to be pleasant but I still wasn't ready for the atomic bomb that he was about to drop on me.
"You spent the night with him?" Noah asked bluntly but his voice was deflated.
Azrael had humored me and stayed the in the room with me at the bed and breakfast but it was definitely not the way it sounded. Nothing happened and even though I caught a glimpse of a different Azrael, I didn't want Noah getting the wrong impression about where my loyalties were.
But, where were my loyalties?
"Technically, yes." I replied slowly and quickly added, "but he sat in a chair in the corner the whole time. Nothing happened."
My attempt to soften the blow didn't work and Noah was immediately more on edge than before.
"You never would have let him near you." Noah scoffed and I knew that he was right. Whatever I was feeling for Azrael, it wasn't natural. Something was wrong with me and after Noah brought it to my attention, it made sense.
"What's happening to me?" I turned to Noah with wide, terrified eyes and his anger softened into gentle panic.
"I don't know." He sighed. "Eli thinks he knows but I want to be sure first."
"What does he suspect?" I pleaded, wanting desperately to know my fate.
Noah hesitated yet again and while he did, I thought about the room at the bed and breakfast. I was vulnerable after my fight with Noah but more than that—I realized in hindsight—I was drawn to Azrael in a way that I had never been before. I asked him to stay with me but, the normal, unclouded Lena wouldn't have done that.
Not only was I not the same, Azrael was different, too. He was gentle and kind and all of the things that he could never genuinely be— but it sure felt genuine to me. Was he also affected by whatever was affecting me?
"Eli thinks that something happened when Azrael healed you." Noah explained and it was as I feared.
"How?" I asked hesitantly.
"I don't know." Noah shrugged as he stared blankly ahead at the road and pushed the Mustang over eighty miles per hour.
I decided to leave the conversation at that because not only was I having a hard time processing what I had just learned, I knew that Noah only had so many answers for me. In an few hours, we'd be at Moorehouse and Eli would be able to tell us himself.
Those few hours felt like an eternity even though the scenery blurred by and Noah made the drive in record time. When Noah pulled off the main road and climbed up the Manchester hillside, the sprawling ranch house was soon visible in the distance. Without calling ahead, Eli and Finn were waiting for us in the expansive driveway when we arrived. They had the same sympathetic and somewhat terrified look on their faces.
I couldn't help but gawk at the massive property before me as I took in the sight of Noah's childhood home. As much as I wanted to reminisce with him, we had more important things to take care of.
"Lena..." Eli said and I knew he was unsure what to say or how to approach me.
Not wanting anyone walking on eggshells, I had to let them know where my head was at right away and having so much time to think on the drive over, I had one immediate question for anyone that could give me an answer.
"What's going to happen to me?" I asked all three of the Hawthorne brothers but they looked at each other, searching for someone to take the lead. I could see it in Noah's eyes that he wanted to know the exact same thing but once I looked at Eli, I knew that I wouldn't like the answer.
"Let's get inside first." Eli smiled at me but the gesture fell short and did little to hide the fear in his expression.
Not wanting to stand unprotected out in the open, I followed Eli and Finn through the large front doors and found myself trailing behind the three of them as I took in my surroundings. The dark browns and golds of the stuccoed interior had a Mediterranean vibe that I liked a lot. I couldn't help but imagine a young Noah running through those very halls.
"Hey..." Noah's voice brought me back to reality as I realized I'd fallen far behind the others in the hallway. Eli and Finn continued ahead but Noah stopped beside me as I examined a picture of an adolescent Noah in a soccer uniform perched on a nearby shelf.
"I wanted to bring you here under different circumstances." Noah sighed and I could see the regret on his eyebrows as he frowned.
"Nothing ever happens the way we plan it." I shrugged and tried to give Noah a reassuring smile but it failed the both of us. Leaving the moment as it was, we moved along and I followed Noah into what appeared to be a large study.
Many worn leather bound books were strewn all over the room and the large wooden table in the center was full of stacked volumes. One book in particular, a smaller, faded cover was open in Eli's hand and he was chatting with Finn about something when Noah and I finally made our way in.
"How long do we have?" Eli asked Noah and I knew immediately that they were referring to Azrael.
"I have no idea." Noah sighed with frustration. "He could be here any second. I'm sure he knows that Lena left with me and he won't be happy."
"If he shows up," Finn added, "there's not much any of us can do."
Noah was about to speak but I found myself blurting out the only thing I could think of at the time, "he's not going to hurt anyone."
Noah, Finn and Eli all looked at me with confusion and it took me a minute to figure out what even I meant by that. "I won't let him," I added, although I had no idea what I could possibly do if someone like Noah couldn't.
The three brothers looked around at each other but didn't say anything. Noah put his arm supportively against the small of my back while I stood there.
"We don't have much time." Finn reminded us and we shook the silence off as Eli showed us the book in his hand.
"This is what we're worried about." Eli said slowly, not sure how best to deliver crappy news.
Looking down at the book in hand and instantly feeling myself get nauseated, I skimmed through the first few paragraphs and that was enough to make my knees grow weak. Standing beside me, Noah read the same page and I could feel his demeanor change instantly.
"No fucking way." He said matter-of-factly after we both finished reading the book in Eli's hand.
I looked at Noah and then at Eli but neither of them would meet my gaze. Rereading the page again, I struggled to digest the words. Surely, the worn parchment must be mistaken. Surely, whatever Eli thought he knew about the situation was wrong.
It had to be.
If the book was correct, I was completely and totally fucked.