"There you two are!" I hear Hale's voice and he looks a little pale as he approaches us.
"Are you alright?" I ask as he gives me a quick hug and nods. My eyes travel to James who seems a little distracted, his eyes wandering off in a distance which makes me scowl. "James?"
He focuses his gaze on me and gives me a small smile which itself looks forced, "Yeah?"
"What's wrong?" I notice the way he pulls me a little closer to himself and his eyes move to Hale who seems to be staring at him as well. They seem to be having a discussion through their eyes which makes me scowl.
"Nothing, love. I just have something to take care of. Hale, will you keep her company?" He looks at his best friend who seems a little hesitant but nods nonetheless. His arm around me comes up around my shoulders as he kisses my hair. "Just stick by his side, please."
Before I even have a chance of questioning him, he disappears and I look at the man by my side, my gaze a little intense because something awfully wrong.
"Hale." I push, my nerves picking up and he gives me his charming smile before wrapping his arm around my shoulder and directing me towards a bunch of people. "What's going on?"
"He has to strike a deal with some douche. Carrack's been on his case for a while now, so he's just taking care of that." He explains and my nerves calm a little, nodding.
That makes sense, yet something seems off about this entire situation and mostly both of their behaviours. Hale introduces me to very new faces, his eyes travelling in the crowd as mine follow his gaze.
"Listen, there's something I wanted to talk to you about, need a little advice." He starts as he hands me a glass of white wine.
"Go on?"
I sip on the wine, not in the mood for alcohol tonight but it will probably help me calm my nerves. Hale looks around one last time before fixing his eyes on me.
"It might be tiny bit possible that I really like-like Alex." He begins, his words amusing me because of how awkward he looks. "Don't laugh!"
I bite on my inner cheek to stop myself as I stare at him, "What makes you think so?"
"Mm, the fact that I haven't dated anyone seriously in years now, I mean, it kind of went downhill after that bitch cheated on me." He breathes, sipping onto the wine before meeting my eyes. "Yeah, with Alex it started as a hookup, you know?"
I nod, trying to understand his trail of thoughts. "So, what makes her different?"
"She puts up with me, Lil. And she's funny, savage and have you looked at her?" He sounds so dreamy, I almost awe at him.
"Yeah, she's gorgeous. Why isn't she your date tonight?"
I mean, if he likes her that much, what's holding him back? It could be his past looming over, but he has to know that not every person is same, hell, I've never dated anyone before but it isn't like I didn't even give it a chance. No one ever felt right, but for some fucked-up destiny reason, James does. He feels right.
"She gave me a fucking ultimatum!" He sounds exasperated and I gesture for him to continue. "I operate like shit on ultimatums, man! I get so panicked to make a decision but she asked me to either commit or let it go completely."
Wow. What a brilliant move!
"Well, I think it can work fine for you, to make a decision like this, you know? Also, Hale, be honest, what's really stopping you from committing? She's a good person, super fun and so beautiful."
He nods, finishing his wine glass in one go, which earns him a look from me. "Shit, I just need to calm down. Yes, she's amazing, don't you think I know that? But... aren't all relationships doomed!"
I arch an eyebrow at him, a laugh erupting through me as I shake my head. "Never thought I'll say this, but nope, not all. Relationships aren't supposed to be like fairytales, they require attention in order to grow. You won't know what you're missing out on until you put all your efforts trying to hold onto it."
He stares at me for a second then nods, his eyes roaming around the hall before setting down on me, "Have you told him?"
"What?" I ask, scowling at him.
"That you love the asshole."
My cheeks heat up from his statement and to avoid answering, I sip on the wine. But Hale continues to stare at me, expecting a response so I sigh, shaking my head.
I am in love with James, there's absolutely no denying it but my emotions have come to my conscious so quickly that I don't want to scare him off by saying the words.
Apart from spending this week during the internship work, I spent a lot of it introspecting, and that's when the realisation hit me. I've known it for a couple of days now but I'm not telling it to him anytime soon, because his reaction is something I'm afraid of.
I think apart from this realisation, the highlight of my week has been Yash apologising profusely for calling James an ass, because it has been hilarious but I've assured him million times that he just bought into rumours, so I don't hold it against him. Although I'm grateful that he hasn't acted any different since he got to know.
He did ask me if I got the internship with reference, but when I said no, he just gave me an appreciative smile and nodded. He's a nice guy who mostly minds his own business, so we get along fine as co-interns.
The blonde woman's still a mystery who glares at me from time to time but I'm getting used to it now. I haven't felt the need to confront her, because James's reassuring words keep playing in my head.
My eyes roam around and land on Chloe who seems to have caught my gaze as well. She slowly makes her way to me and I try not to get annoyed by her presence.
"Hale." She grins at him, kissing his cheek in the process of greeting him and he gives her a side hug. Her eyes shift to me and she gives me a smug smile, "Lillian."
"Chloe." I purse my lips at her, a little obvious to Hale which makes him frown but he doesn't comment anything.
"Where's Jim?" She asks, her question going unanswered when a couple joins us, I immediately recognise them from their wedding party and pass on a smile.
"Haley," I hug her a small hug and nod at her husband Cooper. "How've you guys been?"
I can't believe how far James and my relationship has come since all those months ago. We're in a place where we don't have to pretend to be into each other anymore, because we really are together.
"Good, actually amazing." She grins, her hand going to her belly and I look up in her eyes as she nods, "We found out a week back."
"Oh my god, congratulations you both!" I grin, genuinely amazed and happy with the news.
"Thanks, Lillian. Where's your man?" Cooper asks and I look around, not being able to get him into sight.
"I have no idea, probably striking some deal." I smile, my eyes moving to Hale who gives me a look like I didn't trust him completely. Well, with a good reason.
Both Chloe and Hale congratulate the couple as well and I get lost in my own thoughts, worried about James until I feel his familiar touch on my back, his arm wrapping around me and I look up to see him looking a little relaxed as compared to before.
"What did I miss?" He asks, looking down at me before greeting the couple and hugging his sister.
"Cooper knocked his wife up." Chloe comments, sipping on the champagne and James's eyes widen for a second.
"Congrats, you both!" He smiles at them, his eyes flickering to me momentarily until his eyes settle on a man in distance and he turns to me. "Let's go wish the kid?"
I nod, waving at the rest of them before walking by his side to where he's leading me. "Where were you?" I ask, well aware that Hale didn't get the chance to tell him what answer he gave me.
"Had to take care of a client." He responds and I frown, noticing how he doesn't meet my eyes as he says that.
There are very little things about James that give him away, and I've started noticing them all one by one. "I don't know what it is that's got you so tensed, but you know I'm here for you to talk, right?"
His eyes meet mine finally and he gives me a small smile, nodding. "Of course, love."
We reach the man who James was looking at and his wife approaches him. They both smile at us and their kid seems to be sitting on a table along with other couple of children, looking bored out of his mind. I recognise him from the e-invite they sent.
"Congratulations on the kid turning five." I tell the wife, not aware of her first name because I forgot to ask James beforehand.
He does his part of greeting them before I look at him and motion towards the kid and he nods. We approach the table and I tap Cole's shoulder. "Hey, just wanted to wish you a very Happy Birthday." I smile at him and his face splits into a huge grin.
"Really? You remember it's my birthday?" He giggles, making me frown which I immediately recover from.
I look around and realise that no one seems to be giving this kid the attention he should be getting for his birthday. Everyone's dressed fancy and networking like they would at a business party. God, the sad generation we live.
"Of course, we hope you like the gift." I smile at him, motioning towards the table that has small amount of gifts where I asked Reece to set his latest remote-control car and a lego set that I ordered online after James told me about the party.
"Wow. Most people wrote checks, but I love gifts. Thank you so much!" He wraps his arms around me, making me laugh as I look at James who seems to observing the entire thing with a huge grin on his face.
I gesture for him to wish the kid and he approaches us. "Hey, Cole. Happy Birthday!" He gives him a small smile, extending his hand which honestly makes me laugh but I bit it out.
Cole grins at him nonetheless and shakes his hand before standing up to chase another kid. God! James really doesn't know how to interact with children, and it's beyond amusing.
"Cut it." He tells me, and finally the laugh leaves me. "Good to know one of us has a grip around kids."
"Yes, I was afraid you were going to discuss a deal with him." I tease, making him chuckle as he looks at me with amusement. "What will you do when we have a kid, Mr. Clark? I can't imagine you baby-talking."
"Well, it's a good thing you're on the pill then." He arches a challenging eyebrow at me, and I pretend to feign a gasp as my hand comes up to cover my mouth and his face immediately drops. "Lillian, you are on the pill, right?"
"I—"
"I didn't use a condom today." His eyes are so damn wide as he whisper-yells at me and I try to hold my laughter.
"Yeah, I know. I felt you finish." I grin at him, a snicker leaving me and his body immediately relaxes as he takes in my expression. "So easy to get to you, Mr. Clark."
"You're so going to get it later." He kisses my shoulder and my body generates the same heat it does with his lips on my skin.
"I thought it was your chance to beg." I tease him and he smirks.
"We'll see who does the begging, Mrs. Clark." The look in his eyes makes my stomach twist in knots as he pulls me closer to his body. "Don't look at me like that, I know it won't be comfortable to fuck you in that dress in the restroom."
His words only make the need in my body rise as I lean up to kiss his cheeks and whisper, "Can easily go down on my knees."
The arm around my waist tightens as he gives it a tight squeeze, his emerald eyes turning a little dark as I part. "Don't tempt me, Lil."
I grin at him as he pulls me towards more people and introduces them but I don't miss the way how relaxed he looks as compared to when we first arrived. I'm not sure what was the source of his mood, but I'm happy to provide him a distraction.
After what seems like half an hour and cake-cutting, James and I are turning to meet a bunch of his clients when a woman tipsy on her feet completely runs into me, spilling her champagne on my dress.
"Shit." I curse loudly, the drink dripping down the front of my dress and she looks at me apologetically.
"Fuck, I'm so damn sorry." She whispers, catching tissues from the nearby waiter and trying to soak the drink from my dress.
James glares at her as he steps in front of me. "C'mon, I'll help you clean."
I nod, my cheeks heating up from embarrassment and anger as he takes my hand and leads me to the restroom. He pulls out paper towels and starts rubbing it on the dress, making me sigh.
"It's going to stain." I comment, running a hand through my hair. "Why can't people hold their liquor?"
He gives me a small smile, "It's going to be fine, champagne won't reflect much on the cream colour."
I gape at him. "This is not cream, this is beige."
"Am I supposed to know the difference?"
"Yes! The very basic one." I laugh at him and he shakes his head, stepping further before closing the distance between us and my arms immediately go around his neck as out lips meet. After a second, I hear a moan that doesn't leave either of us and we immediately part away, wide-eyed. "Shit, is someone—"
I point to the stalls and James's eyes travel behind us as he looks back at me with amusement, trying to control his laughter.
"Shit alright." He whispers, "C'mon, we'll head home after eating, dinner's served."
I nod until the couple stops moaning and the man speaks up, "This doesn't make up for shit, bitch."
That voice. The one that visits me in my nightmares, the same one I can never forget, no matter how many times I try to shut it out.
It makes me freeze in my place and James must sense the same because his eyes meet mine, immediate worry taking over his expressions. My body seems to register the shock as my breathing turns shallow and I try to catch my breath.
Before I can even process it, I hear the woman's voice, it's too familiar for me to get it wrong. "I didn't know he had a restraining order against you, Rich."
"Well, he fucking does!" Richard responds, both of their voices hushed but the silence in this space makes their voice echo. "This is all because of you! You told me she'll be an easy target."
"Yes, because I thought she'll give in. I didn't know Lillian would be such a stuck-up slut. She seemed to want Jim, so I just assumed she was desperate."
Fuck! No, no, no. My brain connects the dots as my knees almost give out under me but James's arm hold me up and my eyes meet his. His eyes are wide and his body looks like it's in shock as he only seems to be supporting me out of instinct.
"James!" I manage to breathe out, my vision turning a little blurry as he shakes his head at me, moving my body to lean against the counter.
He moves his body away from me, as I try to process everything I just heard as he walks towards the stall and knocks on it.
"Just a second!" Chloe answers back and a second later opens the door, her eyes widening when she looks at James but she immediately covers it up with a smile. "Jim."
"Step out." He motions for her and his eyes move back to Richard who seems to be supporting a bruise on his cheek.
His face alone makes the anxiety in my body rise as my thoughts seem to cloud over. Fuck, no. I was never supposed to be face him again, ever, in my life. James promised, he promised me that Richard would never come near me yet here he is, standing in front of me.
"I thought I told you to leave the fucking party." James's voice is stone-cold as he addresses him and I register his words.
"You knew he was here?" I look at him with hurt coursing through me but he refuses to even acknowledge me. Suddenly, everything makes sense — Hale and his behaviour. Both of them must've known, and the shiner on the man's cheeks must be James's deed. That's how he was dealing with the client.
Richard chuckles, his eyes landing on me as his gaze roams around my body and I immediately cross my arms in order to hide myself from his gaze. It's the same look he had on that night, and I can practically feel his hands on me with that stare.
"The women in your life can't seem to stay away from me." He smirks at James who steps forward towards the man and throws a punch but it only makes Richard chuckle more as if he was expecting it. "There's only so many times you can beat me up, Jimmy boy! How does it feel to know that your step-sister's a slut and wanted me to do your wife?"
"Jim, don't listen to him." Chloe cries, tears immediately spilling out of her eyes as she takes a step closer to him. "He's lying, he just tried to force himself on me."
"Stop! Fucking stop for once, Chloe!" James yells, his voice louder than I've ever heard, rocking through my entire body. "What the fuck is wrong with you? You're my sister, how could—"
He pauses, running a hand through his hair before taking a step back and punching his hand through the tiled wall, making me gasp.
"James!" I scream and his eyes meet mine for a second before he looks away.
"Jim, please. You're scaring me." Chloe cries while Richard's looking at everything with wide-eyes.
James laughs, his laugh so humourless as he glares at his sister. "You should be fucking scared, because I'm so done with your shit." He turns to Richard and takes a threatening step, "Fucking leave before I kill you, because trust me, I will."
Richard's eyes widen further as he takes a step back and hurries out of the washroom. A woman steps in at the same time but notices the three of us before stepping out and leaving us alone.
"Why?" James looks at Chloe, his voice sounding more torn than aggressive, breaking my heart because I know how much he actually cares for this woman who has never deserved it.
"I just— she changed you." She cries, tears rolling down her eyes as my breathing catches upto me, my nerves peaking up. "I deserve to be a damn Clark, she doesn't! What has she done to have the name? I've stuck by your side, seen you go through one woman after another, waiting for you to notice me as something besides a fucking baby or your sister. News flash, James, I'm not your sister, we're not related by blood!"
James's face conjures into confusion as Joan's words ring into my head, "If she wasn't his real sister, I would say she's got hots for your husband." The realisation must dawn upon him as he looks at her with absolute shock and disgust.
"I let even Amy come close to you, thinking that when she screws up, I'll swoop in, but you chose to marry this whore instead." She looks at me with absolute disgust and I glare at her, my hand itching to slap her.
"How fucked up do you have to be to think like that, Chloe?" He's still shouting at her and her face morphs into embarrassment and anger. "Is it just about money? Because Dad has a trust-fund in your name that you were going to get when you turned twenty one. The name never meant shit, we've treated you as family. But you really fucked this up."
"Delusional enough to think I had a fucking chance. And I know about the trust-fund, I'm going to get it." She barks back, wiping her tears.
"You fucking wish. You're not getting a penny! If you don't want me to press charges, you have two days to disappear from the face of earth. Tell Dad you got a modelling call, or make up some shit about how you're leaving but don't ever fucking return, and I'm getting all your cards blocked."
Her jaw drops from shock as she shakes her head, "You can't do that."
"Don't challenge me. You have no fucking idea what all I can do. I'm done with your shit." He turns his hand into a fist and I'm afraid that he'll hurt himself again so I step towards him.
"James, come on, we'll leave." My voice is soft as I extend my arm to hold his hand. He doesn't meet my eye but also doesn't pull away. Just as he takes a step, Chloe holds onto his wrist.
"Jimmy, you can't! You can't do that to me. I'd be homeless, with no money. She's a whore, just look at her! Give me a chance and I can prove to you that I'm worth it."
"Leave his hand." I glare at her, my nerves picking up but my anger taking over. I can't seem to stop registering how fucked up she has to be to stoop so low.
"Stay the fuck out of this." She hisses at me and I grab her wrist from my free hand, unwrapping it from James's body and push her back. "Who the fuck do you think you are?"
She's about to raise her hand at me when I twist her wrist and free my other hand from James's grasp and smack her.
"That's for almost getting me raped. You should be glad he's giving you a chance to get away, because I won't." I glare at her as she looks at me in absolute shock, her palm on her cheek. I know I've got her good because I can feel the sensation in my hand. I turn to my husband who seems to be in surprise with my actions. "Come on."
He wraps his hand around mine and escorts us out of the washroom and we leave the party without running into anyone, not even Hale. I'm glad when James makes a call to Reece to bring the car around and by the time we're out, she's waiting outside.
James holds up his hand as she moves to open the door and she nods, stepping back and going to sit in the driver's seat. As soon as we're in the car, I let out a huge breath and a shiver runs through my entire body as the events of last half an hour rush through my head.
I look to my side to find him already looking out of the window. Cautiously, I raise my hand up and it lands on his forearm. He looks at me but doesn't meet my eye, making me scowl.
"Please don't." He breathes, making me immediately retract my touch as my heart breaks a little at how hurt he looks.
He wants his space. He'll probably talk to me once we're home because this entire event has been such a shock for me to process through. The man of my nightmares stood in front of me, and to know that Chloe put him to it — it makes me sick.
When we reach the apartment building, Reece parks the car and both of us step out but James doesn't move to the elevator area like I expect him to, instead he moves to stand by the driver's side, making Reece step out.
"Sir?" She asks and James holds his hand out for the keys. She drops it in his hand before leaving us alone.
"James?" I gape at him, my heart sinking when I realise what's he doing. He shakes his head at me, avoiding eye-contact and I see the look on his face. James Clark looks devastated. "Come home, baby. Please."
I'm not sure if I'm pleading him to head upstairs because I need him or because I'm afraid of what he'll do if I let him leave. He looks at me for a second before slamming his head against the car and letting out a painful groan.
"I can't." He shakes his head before opening the driver's door, getting in and driving away, taking a piece of my shattered heart from tonight's events with him.
•••
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