* a gloomy state of mind*
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I woke up to the sound of monitors beeping. I opened my eyes slowly to let them adjust to the bright surroundings.
As soon as my brain awoke from the subconscious state of sleep, my body felt indescribable pain from head to toe. I winced and clenched my teeth, not having the energy to even scream in pain. My chest heaved up and down, allowing shallow breaths to tone down the pain radiating from my arm and chest.
Why was I here?
I looked around, eyes taking in the surroundings to locate where I was.
A rather spacious room, with windows on one side, a door on the opposite. I caught sight of the i/v line running from my arm and several other little tubes running to and fro.
So it's a hospital. Most probably.
How did I end up here? I tried thinking and the rod that I had thrown into my brain to fish for the memory, reeled back when a picture of blood and shattered glass flashed in front.
And all at once the memories crashed in, making me whine in agony. Tears immediately sprung out of my eyes, flowing down endlessly. My heart rate rose up suddenly, making the monitor ring in warning. Every tear that came out made my head hurt more and more.
I laid there in bed crying my eyes out, not able to scream for help.
To scream for Jimin.
A few seconds later, someone rushed into the room and held my hand asking me to quiet down and breathe.
How could I, when I didn't even know if he was alive or not?
This sentence popping in my mind as a question, made me release a sob. Finally I was able to voice my anguish as I wailed out loud.
"Saura please stop crying. You are making yourself worse." A desperate voice held my hand, rubbing it to calm me down.
"Jimin... " I sobbed out and the hand stopped it's action.
"He is fine. Will you please calm down? He is fine. Absolutely fine." She said reassuringly.
Hearing those words made me cry harder. I was thanking every possible God in existence.
He was safe.
I repeated those words over and over in my mind, slowly regaining my self from the void. I couldn't lose him. I couldn't afford to lose him. Ever.
He had been everything to me ever since he stepped into my life with his crinkly eyes and innocent smile. He was everything to me; a stranger, a friend, a lover. He provided me with everything I had ever wanted; love, passion, happiness, anger and a shoulder to cry on. My angel.
If something had happened to him, I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself. Ever.
I loved him.
As the tears blurring my eyes drained away, I turned to see Maren by my side, looking at me with eyes as teary as mine. A chocked sob left my mouth as soon as I saw her.
She tightened her hold on my hands as she cried silently, making me cry again.
"Please calm down, you need to stay as calm as possible to let your brain recover. Please refrain from getting too emotional." The nurse on my left said to me.
When did they come here?
By they I meant the nurse and a very grim looking Dae hyun. As soon as our eyes met, he made his way towards me, crouching down to my eye level.
"Calm down. You are fine." He said, smiling at me wistfully.
I nodded slightly and regretted it immediately, wincing in pain. Was my neck broken? God, it hurt so freaking badly.
I looked at Maren and tried to speak but only air came out of my vocal chords. I swallowed down and asked for some water.
Both of them helped me to sit up, propping me up with some pillows and made me drink water slowly. I swore I had never been in so much pain where every part of my body was senseless. I took my time relaxing myself to start speaking.
"Where is he?" I croaked out.
"He i..." Maren got shut down by Dae hyun.
"Is that your issue right now? Look at yourself. You look like a ragdoll that was beaten to death. And what's the first thing you ask for when you wake up? Him? I s.. "
"Mr. Lee!" Maren shouted. I turned to look at her in surprise. I had never, NEVER seen her angry.
"Please don't say things you don't understand. And leave the room if you are going to lecture her about it."
Wow. I didn't know this cat had a lioness in her.
Dae hyun settled down on a stool beside my bed, sulking.
"What happened to him? Is he really okay?" I asked, heart beating inside its cage.
"Not better than you." My heart dropped into my stomach with each word she uttered. "But he is safe. Not in any danger, both of you. But you both need rest. A lot."
I looked down, sighing in relief. My eyes were met with a plastered arm.
I looked at it and then at Maren, questioningly. "How bad am I?"
"A fractured arm, mild concussion and several cuts from all the shattered glass pieces. Thankfully both of you were wearing seatbelts. You would've reached God by now if you hadn't."
Her last words made me smile but the word blood triggered the memory of red flowing out of my body followed by Jimin's face covered in it. I felt nauseous. I wanted to erase the existence of the horrible incident.
But I guess it would torment me forever.
"And him?" I asked tentatively. My mind wanted to listen to it and ignore it at the same time, wondering what horrors it might bring.
"Fairly the same. Fractured hip, concussion, a little more severe, some hairline fracture on the temporal side. It seems he hit his head on the wheel, thankfully not hard. His side of the car got completely bashed up. He escaped with minimal casualties." She finished, sighing.
I looked at her, jaw dropped, eyes wide. It must hurt so much. How was he putting up with all the pain?
"Where is he? I want to see him." I begged.
"Do you think you are in the condition to walk around now?" Maren asked me, a frown etched on her face.
"Please Mare." I visibly weakened, longing to see him again.
She sighed and called for the nurse to inform her.
"You are really selfless. I admire your love for him but try thinking about yourself too. You matter to us just as much as he matters to you." Dae hyun's voice made me look at him. His head was drooped low and he lifted his head to look at me. His eyes were glassy.
Was he tearing up? For me?
My heart grew soft for him. I moved my hand and held his hand in mine. He wrapped his other hand over mine, trapping it in his hold.
"Thank you for looking out for me. I am really grateful for having you guys." I said, giving him a soft smile.
Just as I finished my sentence, Kook and Jin entered the room. I gulped down as I saw them. For some reason, I felt guilty, like I was the root cause for the whole thing. Both their eyes fell on my hand, held in Dae hyun's grip. I slowly took my hand out of his grip, not wanting to upset him.
Both of them gave me warm smiles, not reaching up to their eyes but loving nonetheless.
"How are you?" Jin asked me.
"I've been better." I gave a small smile.
"It's really great that you both made it out without much damage." Jin said.
Somehow, I felt so, so liable for the situation.
"I'm sorry." I said, voice breaking and tears threatening to fall. Out of nowhere, Dae Hyun squeezed my hand, really hard, glaring at me. I looked at him in surprise and saw him clenching his jaw.
"What are you apologizing for? For getting yourself hurt in an accident that happened due to someone else's fault?" His voice truly scared me at that point.
Jin cleared his throat after an extremely uncomfortable pause, making me look at him. I mentally thanked him for giving me a reason to look away from Dae hyun's accusing glare.
"He isn't exactly wrong. Why should you be sorry? None of you were at fault." Kook nodded to Jin's words.
I tried remembering the cause of the accident and my headache started shooting up. I raised my hand to rub my temples when Maren came into the room with the nurse.
"You can go. You and your impatient arse will never let me rest in peace... Oh! " She stopped mid way when she saw Jin and Kook. They stared back at her.
The whole scene made me crack a laugh. Now all the attention was on me. Even worse.
"Help me up. Let's go." I said to her.
"Where to? " Kook asked, his doe eyes wide.
"Jimin." I said. His name tasted weird on my tongue. I was dying to see him, touch him to confirm for myself that he was fine. But I wasn't ready to see him hurt. I couldn't.
"You aren't in a condition to move yet Saura. He is fine enough for you to meet him after a while." He pursed his lips. "He is still unconscious after the surgery. He just got out of surgery a couple hours ago. Rest up first."
"I tried telling her but she wouldn't listen." Maren gave me a death glare as she finally found her voice.
"How about you rest for a while longer and I come for you when Jimin is up?" He tried convincing me.
"I need to see him." I whispered to myself as I got emotional again. My mood swings were going all out. Stupid concussion.
"You will. You think Jimin will be happy to see you, all bandaged like a mummy just because you wanted to see him? I know Jimin better. He will kill us all." Kookie smiled, giving me his bunny smile.
Energy boosted to full level. Cause: Bunny smile.
I smiled back, a complete smile, for the first time that day. Night. Or early morning. I didn't know what time it was.
"Rest up. We'll let you know when he is up." He said, softly patting my arm.
They left soon and Maren fed me some food to sate my hunger. Dae hyun kept me distracted from thoughts about the accident by keeping me in conversation continuously. Their actions made me really grateful for having such good friends.
I found myself falling asleep as he kept talking to me.
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"Saura. Babe wake up."
I woke up feeling even more tired than before.
"Jimin is up." Maren said to me, eyes shining, a smile decorating her face.
I could swear I felt fireworks go off in my brain as I completely woke up. Her words gave me an instant serotonin boost, pulling me out from sleep immediately.
I tried getting up and failed miserably.
"Slow down, slow down. Jeez." She chuckled, helping me get out of bed.
I slowly sat up, feeling dizzy. She let me lean on her, until my mind cleared. I slowly got onto my feet, regretting each second so damn much. I felt like The Mermaid, knives cutting through my feet, with every step I took. I put all my weight on Mare, apologizing for all the trouble I was putting her through.
It was then, it struck me.
"Where is Dae hyun?" I asked Mare.
"Emergency." She huffed out, under my weight. "Don't ask me anything. I am struggling real hard. God, I should work out a little."
I giggled as we made our way towards the other end of the corridor, to where he was. Finally.
As I was halfway through, Joon approached me and took me off Maren's shoulders, surprising me.
"Oh, it's fi..." He stopped me from saying anything further.
"It's fine." He repeated my words making me smile. I felt apologetic towards them all. They went through so much emotional stress because of us.
"I visited you earlier, you were asleep. Are you feeling any better?" He asked. I could swear his voice calmed my nerves. He had such a mature and soothing voice.
I nodded in response, trying not to grunt too much from all the painful activity. I met several sympathetic eyes, greeting me and wishing me a fast recovery.
As I stood in front of the room, hand over the door knob, I felt all the anxiety rushing in. Someone placed their hand over my shoulder, giving a slight supportive squeeze.
I gulped down and opened the door. The door opened providing me full view of Jimin, just as badly tinkered as me. He looked at me and me at him. I couldn't make his expressions out from that far. I stepped into the room and slowly made my way towards him as we just looked at each other intently. I felt dead inside on not having any reaction from him.
Did he have a memory loss? Did he forget me?
A million thoughts ran across my mind at miles per hour giving me a headache again.
Tae who was sitting by his side got up, offering his stool to me, which I plopped upon, very much without grace.
"Saura." He whispered, barely audible.
The first tear ran down my eye followed by another until I turned into a crying mess, shoulders shaking. I cried out a single thing.
"I love you."
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Author's note:
Guys, 50 chapters of this book are over just as we hit 1k reads. I was truly overwhelmed. Here is the message I put up at that time. I a putting it up as it is, to convey my feelings at that time.
As I said, thank you to EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. who read my book. You made my day. 💜💜💜💜 Army forever. 🤭
Until then, two bombs that dropped today.😍😍😍😍