Vaidharbhi...
I walked out of his after scratching a line on the wall indicating yet another day has passed away from him. This is something i started to do after he left me and i am intended to do that until he comes back to me as per the promise he has made. I sighed and turned to see where Vamsi was. Looking at my house i couldn't find him anywhere. He is in his appa's house. Mukundh used to scratch the little one's ears always to make him sleep. Smiling i walked back to my Mukundh's house and found him near the mat which was making me sad. My child his missing his appa.
Sighing i sat next to him and petted his head and heard a small voice. Is my child missing his appa. "It's ok Vamsi, appa will come soon and soon we three will be together always the way we were." i said wiping my tears which were unknowingly flowing. If only i would have known this coming i would have been a bit stronger if not for me atleast for my baby deer.
Mukundh would always spoil Vamsi with his love and i would always adore them both. They were in separable in sleep. Vamsi at times would sleep on his father's chest. He would climb on Mukundh's chest and would curl as a small bundle and would sleep keeping his head near Mukundh's neck. If only i could capture the moment in a painting i would have but i am not so good in anything and when it's comes to painting i am so waste. Sighing i pulled him in my chest and he curled in my chest and gave a small noise which broke my heart. He is missing him and it is making me even hard for me to stay strong.
Walking out i placed the now sleeping Vamsi on the mat near mine. Walking out i was now sitting near the pond. The place was always my favorite. The one i will treasure till my last time of my life.
A sudden pair of arms were now around me. I gasped but then the smell of vibhuthi made me relax. It was my Mukundh. I placed my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. His hands were tightened and that was making me smile big.
"What is that you want now ??" I asked in a fake angry tone. His unruly curly hair was now tied in a harsh bun. His eyes were now glittering with mischief. "Vamsi..." he said looking at the small boy who was now standing next to his father.
"Vamsi ??" i questioned him again.
"Err Vamsi wants something to eat." He said and i turned to see Vamsi who was now looking at me with the look his father spoke. Oh so he is taking his father's side. The little tail of his was been wagging too faster. I saw both the father and the son. Hey mahadev save me from these natakapriyas (drama queens). It was hard for me not to laugh big as the only difference was Vamsi was standing in four legs while Mukundh was in two legs but other than that both are kuttu kalavanigal (partners in crime). I folded my arms and saw them.
"He is hungry." Mukudh pointed towards Vamsi. Vamsi looked at me with the utmost pity and innocent look he could give. This is not working on me yuvans. I turned back to continue my work but a small tug on my skirt made me look down. Vamsi gave me a small voice which means he is pleading.
"You are really hungry or doing this for your appa ??" i asked him but he just nudged into me. I smiled and giggled. He is really hungry.
I sighed thinking of their acts they used to do. Every time when they team up against me i was gladly failing for them to win me. I love them and it makes me think how my life has changed after Mukundh entered the house the very first time with nothing but blood around him.
Yet another week has passed. It is now heard that there was a war in dharmadesam. The now king who killed the real king is now loosing the war itseems. Appa for some reason was so proud of the news. It is as if he was winning. I just think it is because it was finally the feel of his friend's death was now avenged. Appa was so happy. I could see the way his eyes would sparkle. Smiling at that i walked towards the river.
I sat on a small rock which was our place. The place where he used to sit and make me sit on his lap. I sighed again. It has become my habit to sigh more than normal. I felt a void in me. My Mukundh is some where far , some where so far from me where i have no idea.
Pulling a small knot from my cloth i pulled the ring which he gave me. It was one of his sacred possession. He gave me to hold it until he comes back so that he can put that the way he should do it. His family ring a tradition followed by his family and i am going to continue by giving this ring to my child who is going to be born with my and my Mukundh only him. If he thinks i would let him slip from my fingers after all the times we were together then it is not happening. I would walk into the fire rather than give myself to someone who is not my Mukundh. It was sandhya time and the surya narayanan was going back home and it started to get dark. I walked back home and yet again i was welcomed by silence. If only my brother was here. Anna would have done many things and would have given me his that one smile which was only and always for me.
After feeding Vamsi i sat near the window waiting for appa to come back. After half a prahar appa walked towards the main street and with the street fire torch i figured that it is him. I can always say who is coming with the help of the shadow and i knew it was appa. I smiled at him. He walked back and washed his hands and legs before sitting for the dinner. I placed the leaf for him and placed one for Mukundh and one for Rama anna. I know they are not there but after so long appa started to have food with someone other than me and it is really hard for me to see him eat all alone. It became a custom for me and he was not saying a word either.
After the dinner before we walked to our mats appa called me.
"vaidharbhi i have something to say." He said and i nodded my head and sat near his feet while he sat on a small thread netted cot. I think in a week your Mukundh and your Rama anna would come back." He said making my eyes get out of it's place. A sudden heat rushed in my cheeks and i tried hard not to smile but he chuckled and pulled my head on his lap. I smiled and placed my head on his cotton dhothi lap. There were few stains due to the temple work. I rubbed the stains with my nails if i could get them out atleast the dirt if not the colour. He placed his hand on my head and caressed it.
"You know Mukundh would do anything for you ??" he asked me making me nod my head in his lap. "He is doing something which is very important for you and him. Once he comes back my first job is to get you married to him." He said in a stern voice but his face was nothing serious. I laughed at him. He was acting so strange yet in a nice strange.
"After that what will you so appa ??" i asked him in a teasing way.
"Well what i will do. As my responsibilities are over i will pray god for you every minute and close my eyes at peace and join your mother Vaidharbhi." making me gasp in fear. Him leaving me alone. No i should not have that curse. I want all of them. Appa, Mukundh, anna and also my Sangamitra. Tears welled up and he smiled at me and wiped them. Looking at him now i see a clear picture of him. His face was covered with wrinkles. His forehead had a proud vibhuthi with a small kunkum. His neck was adoring a mala of rudraksham. He was looking old but his will is same as a warrior who is just 20 years of age.
"Don't you want to see me happy ??" i asked him in a small voice.
"Hey matha , do you think i would leave my daughter alone in this world so soon ?" He asked me while wiping the tears.
"Mahadeva... i want to see my daughter to get married and have children. I want to play with my grand children. I want to say about their lovely and innocent mother who knows nothing about the world. I want to see them grow up into yuvan (young gentlemen) and yuvathi (young ladies) and i want my daughter to order her husband the way she does now." He said making my eyes wide. He knew that all the time.
"Don't you think i don't know the Jala pariksha (water test) you kept for your Abh... Mukundh for making you sad." he said as if nothing matters.
Hey mahadev he knew those things. Appa smiled and pulled my cheeks. I giggled. I always did when he does that. I will be there for your every step Vaidharbhi. If not in person i will be there as an ashirwad (blessing) which will make a kavach (shield) from the outer world. I promised to your amma that i will take care of you till my last breathe and i am keeping the promise for that." he said. My vision blinded with tears of happiness. We were speaking for some more and we ended the night in a happy manner. It was mid night and suddenly the happy and silent village streets were not any more. There was a sudden commotions and there sounds of horses and screams and suddenly i could smell burning of huts. Appa took his sword and walked out to find what the commotion was. I held his hand and was not in a mood to leave him now. I was scared hearing the screams making me flinch in fear.
"Vaidharbhi come what may don't open the door or make anything think that you are inside the house. I will go and check what is happening. Promise me child." He said with a determined look. I was beyond scared. I placed my shaking hand on his hand and he closed them tight. He slowly let my hand go and i made a small hiccup. He turned to see me one last time before walking out of the house.
I closed the doors and windows and blew all the dheepams (lamps) of the house. I rushed near the window watched where appa was going. He walked as a lion having his power. For me he was always a lion. Once he disappears in the dark i mumbled few prayers to god to make sure he is safe and comes back unharmed by folding my arms in pranam.
Everything around me was silent and that was scaring me.I hate silence but this was too much for me to handle. I gulped my cry and hiccuped few times to catch the breath. I wanted someone to be with me. Vamsi was sleeping next to me but i pulled him to me and held him tight to me. He made a small voice and settled back to sleep curling in me. Holding his small body to me i saw a shadow coming towards the street. The fire lamps were dying but the shadow was perfect. It was not like a person coming by walk but... but it was as if someone riding the horse.
My lips parted, my heart beat raised, my hand held tight of Vamsi , my eyes widened. It is them. The one whose look means your end is near you. Your kalan (death) is near you.
I know what this was.
I knew who this was.
My end
My very end on the face of bhoomi.
Kalias......
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Finally made it.
Sigh..
This was hard for me to form words. It took me honestly like more than three days to frame the scenes and from now on the story is going to be tough. The real reason for what wrong has happened.
So say me how it is. A small apology for late update. I was trying hard to write this but to put them in words were so hard. I think i made it a bit big. Hope you all like it.
Stay home and stay safe guys. Please make sure you all are healthy.
Until next update.
Your love
Shri...