Final Chapter|This Baby Mine Now
As the days drifted into nights and the nights' stars dimmed back into bright morning lights, vibrant of colors for love evolved into soft rays of delicacy. The thickness of the coldest heart melted and willingly knelt down in front of the warmest light but it was too bright that the heart shielded for the potential softness of the flares.
What was it? Why was the feeling so beautiful? It was too addictive for him to leave.
Why was it too fragile for the hearts to seal back? Why was it so close but so far to reach out for?
Jeno did not know the answer. He indeed tried to understand it. But the fragile heart of his new found love was being so protective of himself just in case Jeno would hurt him again.
The yearning feeling overpowered but alongside with it, for the very first time, he reflected on the times where that very same warm light was trying to embrace him. That same light that tried to complete him in any possible way, even if it had to enter the dullest part of the darkness. The severity of pain and tears that went ignored and yet, no one was there for the comfort. The sincerity of the feelings that he knowingly looked down and insulted on. He regretted it all.
As Haechan said before, now that he recalled, regretting wasn't all. He needed to renew this. He needed to let Jaemin to know about his true feelings—the feelings he always tried to hide under a facade. To do so, an interval of time was needed. Impatience may consume the last straw of chance and Jeno didn't have the courage to lose him again.
Truth to be told, Jeno admitted he was being too unreasonable for Jaemin to be able to instantly adapt to his changes. Jaemin wasn't used to with his behaviors, careful words, soft touches and broken eyes. As much as he hated to accept it, those suspicious eyes still hurt him though this had nothing to compare with the pain Jaemin had dealt with.
"Here is your water, Jae"
His emotionless eyes remained unbothered as they glued up to the hospital's ceiling and Jeno silently sighed. Regardless, he pushed the glass closer to Jaemin's reach in case the distance would be far away.
"Do you need anything else ?"
Jeno unintentionally gulped after asking since the trembling on his nerves got much more severe from being ignored. Jaemin didn't reply. Even though Jeno needed to be used to with the silent treatment, he was struggling with it. He knew he deserved this but at the same time, he couldn't handle this. It was unfair how Jaemin had to deal with this abusive "relationship" with him but here he was, slowing pulling up a white flag to the pain.
Shrugging off the thoughts that got heavier every second, Jeno took a seat beside the white bed. He saw a slight movement of reaction from Jaemin's eyes but that was it.
"Jaemin ah, tonight is the last night at the hospital and tomorrow, I will take you back okay?"
Jeno picked up Jaemin's hand slowly and caressed it with his thumb as he spoke quietly. Jaemin wasn't reacting to him. It bothered him that he was like an invisible person for Jaemin.
"Please don't be angry for forcing you to come back with me. I want to take care of you and our baby."
A soft kiss was planted on the top of his palm and Jaemin flinched, almost withdrawing his hand out of Jeno's grip. The man pulled back gently, disapproving to dismiss the warmth of the soft hand.
"Please, Nana?"
The gorgeous beads met his eyes for the shortest second but Jeno felt like he was completed that very moment from a glimpse of attention he received from Jaemin. He loved it. He loved everything about it.
It was even better to observe the pinkish cheeks that reddened as they heated up from shyness. As if a morning glory opened up its petals to welcome the world with its gracefulness, Jeno's mind was refreshed. It purified his clouded mind and only Jaemin could do this to him. He was lacking Jaemin's smiles for the longest time ever since he met him and just a small raeaction helped him for a couple days.
Jeno beamed in happiness. The ticklish feeling did not end since Jaemin was internally being flustered and Jeno obviously couldn't look away.
"Too adorable Nana" he whispered under his breath and it went unheard by anyone else.
"Alright Jaeminnie. Good night and we will meet Jisung in the morning"
Jaemin's eyes widened by a bit to the mention of Jisung. Excitement took control of him and a small smile on the corner could be seen.
It was just that easy to make Jaemin happy and yet.... Jeno was reckless enough to hurt this precious human.
"Good night" Jeno repeated again and regretfully walked to the sofa without giving a good night kiss. He just didn't want to bother Jaemin.
A young night was too be passed peacefully and calmly. The serenity was imagery and illustrative.
Through everything,
Scary dreams would not invade Jaemin's sleep anymore,
Cold sweats would not be all over his body when his eyes forced themselves to open up,
Painful tears and hopeful wishes would not be the prayers of Jaemin's lips
Now that he felt safe and calm in the presence of Jeno with him. It was needless for the other one to know but Jaemin would never be able to deny the overflowing feelings for the man whose constant breaths determined the end of the previous tiring day.
🥀
"Nana! Nana! Nana!!" never left young Jisung's mouth as soon as his eyes opened up to invite the day.
Dana watched the uncontrollable excitement of Jisung that was all over his body as he jumped up and down on the carpet.
"Jisung ah, wait. I will take you there soon" she smiled and patted his soft hair as she knelt down to fix Jisung's sticker on his white shirt.
The day was finally made for Jisung to meet up with his longing Nana and it was truly beautiful to see the two souls being overly happy just to see each other again. Terrible fate was to be blamed for their temporary seperation but now that they have suceeded to overthrow the unluckiness, Jisung was more than satisfied to be able to live with Jaemin again.
On the other part of the city, there sat an excited Jaemin on a hospital bed, waking up earlier than usual just to welcome his other baby who can make him smile just from the presence.
He woke up since five in the morning due to the fresh feeling but Jeno wasn't. The man was sleeping, unbothered by his surrounding as if the guests' sofa in the room was his own bed.
Jaemin let out a small chuckle at how Jeno stopped snoring for a while to change his side to sleep. His dark hair freely stuck out everywhere on the pillow and clear face popped up as smooth as a fabric. The bridge of his high nose confidently defined the morning beauty and Jaemin admitted he was blessed to witness it.
Jeno's looks were always captivating to him. His strict eyes were the ones Jaemin was familar with but these days, Jeno was looking much more like a fluffy puppy due to his innocent eyes. Unlike the old days, Jeno's thick eyebrows weren't stressed to much anymore. He relaxed them in a line and that must have caused his pretty eyes to bring out less strict vibes.
Jaemin slowly got up from the bed. Instead of a cold floor, his feet landed on a soft pair of slippers Jeno prepared for him to keep his feet warm.
Just like he was hypnotized by the mesmorizing glory of the sleeping man, Jaemin headed out to the exact direction of where the man was. A warm wave of sparkle teased his heart as soon as his feet brough him close. Soft snores from earlier became louder and the corner of his lips went up.
He was so in loved with this man. But it wasn't what it only took for them to be together. He has always loved the man. The fact did not change at all. And there wasn't anything much to expect. After the pregnancy and a safe delivery of the baby, Jaemin would leave. He was never meant to stay.
The tiny dot of mole suddenly captured all of his mind. It was one of Jeno's attractive details that Jaemin noted down since day 1. The closeness to witness the mole gave him a different kind of feeling.
Jaemin unknowingly bent down a bit to trace upon the line of the man's jaw. His fingers didn't touch the surface though. It was just supposed to keep a distance from any sort of connection.
Once again, a fond smile printed on his lips. It was the simple things he adored from Jeno and it was never about the skim of lies or plots.
'I love you Jeno. But I am not strong enough to accept you again. I don't trust you enough to risk myself this time. But I do love you so much'
A very delicate kiss landed on Jeno's forehead and immediately, the sleeping man's lips broke into a sincere smile from satisfication.
It must be what poets and artists and authors talked about in their works. The figurative language of the butterflies being in the belly. But this time, it was close to reality.
He felt the touch of Jaemin's lips on his forehead. It was a kiss. It was Jaemin's kiss that was being spared for him. He contracted his muscles back to recollect the smile in great difficulty. He didn't want to get caught that he was awake. He knew exactly how Jaemin would react and it was up for more distance and coldness if Jaemin found out that he was awake during the soft kiss.
"Good morning Jeno" was what the soft voice greeted, not knowing he was conscious this whole time.
The voice he always missed for this whole time.
'You are too precious Jaemin. That's what keep me wanting to get closer to you'
🥀
"And then Jisungie answered '5' like this and...and...and.. got this little star sticker here"
The large and spacious hospital room was full of giggles and cute little squeals from the presence of Jisung for his visit.
Jeno watched the two in a small smile as he sat silently by the side. Jisung was now beside Jaemin as he kept his small body inside the blanket and talked to Jaemin to inform what he missed.
"My baby Jisungie is so smart!" Jaemin remarked with a proud and wide smile.
It was one of the rare moments Jeno got to stare at the mesmerizing smiles and so he could only afford to keep silent and record every second of those pretty lips serving the most gorgeous smiles. So far, the day started out excellent with a soft kiss and now this?
"Lele also answered the next question and he got a little dolphin sticker"
"Is my baby happy?"
Jisung nodded with a cute smile.
"That's all I need" Jaemin grinned back.
"But Nana will come with Jisungie back to home right? Jisungie misses Nana a lot"
He hugged Jaemin's arm and rested his head on it. He looked up again and again, showing that he was hopeful about his wish to live together again.
Jaemin patted the soft hair and hid his awkward smile under a breathy sigh.
Seeing this, Jeno decided to jump in the conversation.
"Yes Jisung. Jaemin will be with us"
Jeno avoided Jaemin's instant glare that only lasted for a while on him.
The baby was too excited for the new he just learned. His laughters showed how happy he was as the hug tightened.
"Thank You Nana! Thank You Nana!"
"You are welcome baby"
With what kind of heart should he tell Jisung that it won't be for long? His stay with them would last as short as the fate would give and after that, the path to create his new life would be given. It was hard enough to take his breaths away to explain this to Jisung.
🥀
The door closed from behind and Jeno saw the body under the thick blankets flinched noticeably from surprise.
His cold back always welcomed him and invite the awkwardness between the two.
Jaemin's body truned more to the side until Jeno couldn't see anything and honestly, it hurt him so much.
Jaemin denied to see him, talk to him, eat with him, or to even spare a glance at him after taking him back home from the hospital. It has been a couple of weeks Jaemin was sharing the same roof again with Jeno but the situation did not get better at all. In case, he was afraid to conclude that Jaemin even hated him more now.
Not knowing what to do, Jeno walked away to the living room area of the bedroom they now shared. It wasn't easy to convince Jaemin to sleep on the same bed as him.
He definitely knew this bed did not bring any good memories back to Jaemin but he would rather admit that he was selfish than to be away from this boy. Jaemin refused and brought his luggage back to the room he used to live in this house but Jeno was quick to pick him up and put him down in his room, pleading him that it would worry him much if he stay far. He even used Jisung to help him convince.
After a couple of attempts with Jeno not giving up every time, Jaemin gave up to sleep on the same bed.
Jeno turned his head back to the bed and saw Jaemin not moving. He was definitely pretending to be asleep even though clearly he wasn't.
How he wished he could hug that body from behind right now...
How he wished he could just gave the sweet man his care right now...
But wasn't he rejected in the first place? He was. But was he giving up? He wasn't.
Jeno stood up since he wasn't going to work anyways. The laptop was flat closed and he walked to the bed they now shared.
Jaemin's treatment for him was not to reply or communicate with him. Everyone except from Jeno was Jaemin's friend and he acted normally around them. It was only Jeno who was invisible for Jaemin.
He noticed a genlte flinch in the frame again when he entered the soft mattress. The body tensed up but he didn't turn back to Jeno.
Jeno smiled at the cute sight of the angelic face appearing in front of his eyes and he carefully went under the covers. He comfortably occupied the bed and pulled up the thick sheet of white blanket, making Jaemin to move around a bit again. Then he inched closer to Jaemin while opening up his arms to bring in a certain body to him.
The body melted into his chest when he suddenly wrapped his arm around the pregnant one and the other arm slided under the head as he allowed him to sleep on his strong arm.
He gasped due to his rapid yet gentle movements and turned his face around with tinted cheeks.
Their eyes met for a while and Jaemin quickly broke the invisible string of feeling. Jeno kept looking with a soft smile but Jaemin refused to look back.
He turned to the side completely to block out but did nothing to refuse his hug.
With his open hand, Jeno wrapped on the stomach over the thin shirt, earning a slight push from Jaemin's hand.
That cute being was still shy of Jeno touching his stomach and every time he blushed, it was magical.
"Good night Nana and good night to our little baby as well" he whispered close to his ear.
Jeno left a kiss on the fluffy hair in front of him as he kept rubbing on the round stomach.
He missed out every single part of Jaemin's pregnancy and he was considered lucky to be part of the delivery as the date got closer.
Not expecting an answer back from Jaemin, he entirely closed his eyes to rest. He wouldn't admit out loud but he was tired. Tired from being strong about Jaemin's refusal and he knew having Jaemin in his arm will definitely refill his energy.
It would be his all time dream to build a lovely family with Jaemin, Jisung and their baby. He never dreamt of creating another one but this time, it felt so right and completed.
This little angel needed to accept him but their future was unsure. Jaemin still was not talking to him or sparing a second worth of glance at him. After this, he might really left him. There was nothing Jeno could do about it.
The whole point of living with him now was with his only ticket of requesting to take care of the smooth and perfect delivery. After this, everything will be that of Jaemin's choice and he knew he will agree to the sweet being whatever he chose to do even if it broke his heart apart.
The grip on the waist tightened by a small bit but Jaemin immediately noticed. What did he expect? He had been looking up to Jeno's face every second for so many years and there was nothing he didn't know about the man. And so he was, desperately wanting to respond back to every touch and attention the man was giving him.
He felt like crying everytime Jeno softly spoke to him. It was...surreal for him and he couldn't believe the man fully. His heart wasn't just broken but it crashed down and has been stepped on for so many times.
When he thought about giving another chance, only one phrase reentered to echo his ears , "whatever I do, it's because I hate you Na Jaemin"
That was lightly pouring out of Jeno's mouth when he first told him. The man was full of hatred, lust, turmoil and eyes that of the disgusted one when he looked at him. The repeated amount of those words engraved in his head that it became hard to erase. Even if it got erased out completely, the stain will naturally be something that could be traced back anytime soon to haunt his nights.
Jaemin noticed the constant breathing behind him, air brushing his ear. Jeno really was too tired and exhausted these days. The man was unsatisfied but he kept the familiar yet a very rare type of smile for him.
The grip was loosened on his waist and Jaemin tired not to make a lot of movement in case the man woke up again. He attentively listened to the constant breaths as well as the slow pacing on the strong chest behind his back.
Without a question, I still love you Jeno even though I don't know what you really want out of this. I don't know what I can give you more but if you really want to take, I am scared that I will risk everything to give you whatever you want.
🥀
"Nana good morning"
A cheerful voice greeted and as if a flower blossomed to the utmost, Jaemin's morning smile burned down every single fire in his heart.
"Good morning baby Ji"
"Good morning Dada!"
"Hey baby"
With an uneasiness to bend down, Jisung knowingly ran up to his Nana and gave the stomach a kiss on it while curiously rubbing gently on it. He was fascinated by the stomach everyday.
"Nana!Nana! Baby sister is getting taller" he chriped energetically with eyes wide opened.
Jaemin giggled and nodded while brushing the baby boy's hair.
"Let's eat breakfast shall we? So we can get you to school"
Jeno stood up from mesmorizing Jaemin's beauty and started to help arrange the plates. It wasn't necessary but he just wanted to be acknowledge.
Dana was laid back, observing "the couple" with a knowing smile.
Every single person knew Jeno has changed drastically and it was an inevitable fact that the cause of the change was Jaemin.
The man was trying his best to be a father of two children while giving all his love for Jaemin. Jisung's life was completed in every need and the past was almost forgotten by the young boy himself.
This is his family and Jaemin has everything he loves. But it was the other way around as well. He loves everything Jaemin has.
🥀
Jaemin walked back into the house after kissing and waving Jisung his goodbye when his bestfriend, Chenle came to fetch him up. That little Chinese friend of Jisung was a cute adorable being as well since he always wanted to spend his time with Jisung. They were inseparable. Chenle's mother has come the other day just to ask for the permission for Jisung to carpool with them everyday to school and that they will personally ensured the children's safety. It turned out that it was Chenle's birthday wish to go to school together with little Jisungie. Their friendship was something very special and that made him think of his tiny friend, Renjun.
He visited very often but he was busy as well due to the preparation of the wedding. Apparently, only Jaemin looked like he had nothing to do since he was banned from helping Renjun out after the incident. Jeno didn't allow him to do any house work, including cleaning or washing with a reason of not wanting him tired. That only led to an only option of writing but it was impossible to have a mind to write 24/7.
Plus, Jeno was always around him like a glue or a chewing gum, for this matter. The man was working from home just so he will be around Jaemin at all times.
To admit honestly, he felt protected and secured to fall asleep in Jeno's arms and then wake up to the large chest that provided him warmth. The man was always perfect in his eyes and there wasn't anything he could do not to acknowledge about that.
The only problem that he registered himself was his disability to trust Jeno. It is said that once a trust is broken, it's rarely able to feel like the first time.
"Nana what are you doing there?"
Jaemin suddenly gulped hearing Jeno's voice from the verandah upstairs. He looked like he just showered and he only had his black pants on.
Is he going somewhere?
That was just too bold. Jaemin thought, embarrassed at himself for seeing an unholy sight in the morning.
He shrugged away for a while and just continued to walk in the house by ignoring the question, ignoring Jeno and ignoring himself that he smiled due to Jeno's soft morning looks in contrast to his body.
As soon as he walked in, Jeno climbed down the long stairs, pulling his shirt down.
"Nana..I will be in a meeting for around an hour. If you need anything, don't worry about walking in okay?"
Jeno bit the toast in his mouth and drained down the coffee. He looked like he was in a rush. Now that he was formally prepared for his outfit for the meeting, Jeno looked different from earlier. He looked more mature looking good in this way.
"I will be in the back field so tell me if you need me. Also, Dana is around the kitchen somewhere." he smiled and grabbed his laptop.
Not waiting for a response since he knew he won't get anyways, Jeno tapped his finger on Jaemin's nose tip and left with a chuckle.
This man...really will be the death of him.
Jaemin calmed his heart down from the act earlier but before he could even proceed to do that, Jeno stood up in front of him again.
Jaemin looked up with his bewildered eyes and questioned him through his looks. Jeno smiled and shook his head before kneeling one leg down and put down his laptop and phone in a pile on the floor. Then he gently grabbed Jaemin's waist and pulled him close until his lips printed a kiss on the stomach. A satisfied smile formed across his sharp face and Jaemin bit his lower lip not to show his wide smile as well. A sudden wave of butterflies attack him again and he decided to put it aside.
"I was needing something to refresh my mind and this is perfect"
He stood up with his things again and left from the corner of his eyes.
"This man...really is the death of me"
🥀
"So sis is telling me that you is doing nothing about this at all" Renjun sassed, not even looking at the pouty Jaemin comfortably sitting on the couch.
Renjun was against the idea of Jaemin returning to Jeno's house but the very cute and adorable Jisung begged him to let his Nana stay with him and that he promised to protect him. It was too cute and precious that Renjun restrained himself back and now he was complaining to Jaemin behind Jisung's back.
"It's not that Injun ah."
"What are you going to do after you give birth the baby? Coming back to stay with your parents?"
Jaemin hesitantly nodded while fidgeting his fingers.
"You don't even look like you want to leave here" renjun pointed out.
He knew his friend was pregnant but that didn't make him sugarcoat anything he saw in front of his eyes.
If Jaemin wished to stay, he can stay. Even if he disliked the idea, he understood clearly why this pouty Jaemin wanted to stay here. Little precious Jisung was here in the first place and it was enough to be a reason.
All he was saying and pointing out was that Jaemin was being undecisive on his choices and that can complicate him more if he chose to tackle later.
"Aigoo...aigoo... Are you the one who is giving birth to a baby or are you the baby?"
Jaemin sulkily looked up. This side of Jaemin was rare and it only showed because he was pregnant.
"Don't scold me. I am too hungry to listen to you right now"
"You said you weren't hungry when I first came in the house"
"That was fifteen minutes ago!" He rebattled.
Renjun sighed and didn't even bother to argue back.
"What do you want to eat now?"
"Hm....Kimchi Fried Rice!"
🥀
"Oh! Renjun-sshi is here I see"
Jeno entered the kitchen awkwardly. He wasn't aware that Renjun was here with Jaemin because he just finished his meeting and almost ran back to be with Jaemin.
But if he preferred to be with Renjun, he can leave.
"Then I will be in the room. If you two need anything, you can tell me"
He gave a sweet smile and tried to make some eye contact with Jaemin but he never looked back.
A strong pang in his heart felt like a plucked heartstring but he swallowed back the pain with a smile.
Day by day, he understood how Jaemin has been living all these times with him and he managed to learn how it hurt to be ignored by someone you love. This treatment...wasn't even as tiny bit close to the ruthlessness of what he did to that angel but it was this awfully painful...
The absence of the man's presence made Renjun quite uncomfortable. He looked like he was barely holding himself from breaking down and for the first time,he felt pity for Lee Jeno.
Even so, he did not have a single thought about convincing Jaemin to talk to him. People learned through mistakes and Jeno was doing exactly that even though the consequence wasn't as fair as it should have.
"Na Jaem..here's yours"
Renjun tossed the plate with a fried egg on top just like how his friend liked. Then he scooped his portion and placed carefully on the plate.
He sat down and filled the glasses with water.
"Where's your husband by the way?"
Renjun almost chocked out from the question. It was just unexpected.
"H-husband?" He blushed and Jaemin found it amusing.
"Yangyang of course" he chuckled.
"Well, he said he wanted to surprise me but he won't tell me anything. He said anticipate about it but don't overthink. What am I suppose to do? Do I use my brain power to take a bold guess and expect it or do I just act dumb?"
Jaemin smiled at his friend's question. Sometimes, Renjun was too unpreditably smart and that was a reason why he probably didn't want to think about "the surprise."
"You sound like you already know what it is"
Jaemin spoke in a mouthful of rice in his mouth.
"I mean....it's kinda obvious that he's getting us a house"
Renjun bit his lower lip to hide the excitement.
"It's either YangYang is too bad at hiding or you know too much about him. Nothing in between"
Renjun nodded in agreement. His man was extremely bad at lying or hiding anything to him. Their relationship wasn't all about keeping thoughts and being secretive and so it was relatable for Renjun to hide anything from YangYang as well.
"Just marry and have kids already"
"Hey hey..don't skip the steps. We haven't even married yet"
"It's around the corner"
"Yea you and this little one too"
Renjun stuck out his chin to point his stomach to which Jaemin happily patted.
"I am so excited to meet her"
The smile passed on Renjun's lips as well. The first time they saw an ultrasound of the baby, both of them cried due to pure happiness. Those months now passed and it was unbelivable to meet this little girl.
"What do you think she will look like?"
Renjun suddenly questioned, carefreely but realized after asking. That was natural to ask but not for Jaemin.
He quickly glanced up to stop and change the subject but Jaemin unexpectedly had a smile on his face.
"I will love her whatever she looks like but I am guessing she will have round eyes like me"
His eyes shine so many stars just from that statement. Renjun giggled and nodded.
"Yeah that would make her look like a bambi!" He cheerfully stated.
"Oh no! Not that nickname again! Remember in our first year, you signed up Bambi instead of my name for the art club?"
Jaemin excitedly recalled the memories. Renjun rolled his eyes for his stupidity in the past.
"Urgh..stop reminding me about that. My first instinct was to sign up bambi instead of Na Jaemin. I was too dumb"
Renjun hit the side of the head with his small hands that has a metallic gold wrapped around his ring finger.
It matched with Renjun's fair tone so well and not by purpose, but he did look at his own bare fingers.
Not wanting to continue the train of his potential thoughts, Jaemin just decided to finish up the food.
🥀
Leaving Jisung's room and closing the door gently, Jaemin decided he should probably go to bed soon.
He felt off because Jeno wasn't able to join tonight's storytime with Jisung due to a very important project he was leading these days. It must be really important that Jeno wasn't joining the night.
The man wasn't in the room as well ever since he never left the living room since Renjun went back. He was busy in the place while spreading his files and paper around messily.
Jaemin slowly climbed down the stairs without making any noises and peeked into the living room. He hid himself behind the wall just to make sure Jeno wasn't aware of his presence.
First of all, he didn't want to get caught. Second, he didn't want to talk. It would just be awkward.
Under the dim light, Jeno was typing on the keyboard real fast and his eyes never left the screen. He looked so focused and serious with those glasses on. His lips also formed a thin line just to emphasize on how involved he was with his work.
His handsomeness was too unreal even if he wasn't dressed up. His favorite white sleeveless shirt comfortably embraced around his body just to be paired up with shorts.
It was already 9pm and he didn't know when Jeno would finish his work.
Should I sleep now...? Or should I wait?
Or...should I make something for him? Coffee? Juice? But will he take long? Do I ask-
"Tsk..headache"
Jaemin's thoughts were interrupted by Jeno's painful complaint. It wasn't loud but he was just close to the man.
Jaemin didn't know what to do. He saw Jeno massaging his own forehead due to the sudden headache when he seemingly withdrew his attention back out of the work. He took away the glasses and placed them on the table. A heavy sigh was heard and that made Jaemin extremely bothered.
He was bothered that he couldn't possibly do anything at the moment.
With an extreme unsettlement in his mind, Jaemin's feet mindlessly lead him to step up.
"Please drink this if you are tired"
Jeno looked up, confused and surprised at the voice.
He then put his glasses back on and made a space on the messy table to put the cup of warm beverage on.
"Thank You Dana..I really wanted a coffee"
"Oh..y-you are welcome. Um..when are you going to finish Jeno-sshi?"
"I don't really know. I am waiting for a response from the other side so..might take a while, an hour or the whole night"
He vaguely explained with a sigh.
"Ah..I see. Then, I will leave you alone"
Dana backed away and walked out of the living room. She glanced back at the busy man and trailed her eyes across the room to look at the shadow of a kind being hiding behind the walls, worriedly looking at the busy one.
"He should have just go and give it himself when he was the one who made the coffee" she whispered and shook her head, not really liking the way Jaemin always secretly took care of Jeno from a distance.
🥀
The bed sunk in due to a weight that pressed down on the mattress and that made Jaemin to sigh quietly to himself.
Soon enough he felt those arms strongly wrapping around his waist and under his head just like every night and he comfortably melt in to the touch.
Ever since Jeno made a habit out of hugging him to sleep at night, Jaemin had a hard time falling alseep without the embrace around him.
Drowsiness snapped in and his eyelids got heavier just by knowing Jeno's presence and the feeling of getting protected.
"Good night Nana and our little princess as well"
Jaemin unknowingly nodded and drifted into his dreams, missing out a goodnight kiss on his forehead.
🥀
A soft moist kiss on his cheek woke him up. Unable to register what just happened, Jaemin slowly open his eyes to see his Jisungie looking back at him with those adorable eyes.
"Jisungie?"
"Hehe..Morning Nana!" He brightly greeted.
"Good morning my angels" Jeno joins in while leaving the bathroom.
I wish I wake up to this every morning.
"Morning Baby Ji" he smiled back.
"Dada are you going somewhere today?"
Jisung's question made Jaemin to look up at Jeno from the bed. He really looked like he was getting ready to go somewhere this time.
"Yes baby. I will be back at noon. I really need to check the company for a while"
He answered and kissed Jisung on his mochi cheek.
Jisung pouted, "then who is taking care of Nana? Jisungie is going to school later"
Jeno's eyes landed on Jaemin with a soft smile.
"Na, I will be back soon is that okay?" He carefully asked for a permission, as he joined to sit on the bed.
Jaemin nodded sleepily and allowed the man to kiss on his hand.
"Do you have anything you want?"
He shook his head, hair rubbing the pillow just to make himself look cuter. Jisung giggled at how cute Jaemin looked and that made Jaemin to smile widely.
"Come here baby Ji. Sleep a little more with Nana" he pulled the boy down on the bed and cuddled with him.
Jeno would admit he was jealous that he couldn't get those affections but the sight was too cute for him not to smile.
"I will leave now then. Dana is here and there are four of my people downstairs, all there to protect if anything happen. So..I will make it quick and come back"
Jeno messed both of their hair and not forgot to kiss on Jaemin's stomach.
"Bye Dada!"
Bye Jeno. Come back quick.
🥀
Five years ago, there was a boy who secretly admired another boy who was in love with his bestfriend.
His pure love for the boy reflected upon how he sacrificed his own heart until edge just to see the smiles of the ones he loves. He wasn't hestitant to do that one bit. He was willing to do that without anything expectations to be returned.
The only thing that mattered was their happiness.
-
"D-don't touch me! P-please"
The skin trembled from the hungry eyes that looked at him as if he was a weak and fragile prey. He wished to overcome the grip on his arm but there were two against him that cornered him.
"He said don't touch him! Which part of that do you not understand?!"
A strong hand quickly pulled his body over and hid him behind his back. Jaemin looked over the shoulder and he felt so safe by the arms that guard him confidently.
-
"T-Thank You so much"
"Ah..for that? No need. They are just full of shits. By the way, did they bully you all the time?"
"No..."
"Don't lie to me!"
Seeing the boy's body tensed up, Jeno decided to lower his voice. "I..I mean if you don't want to tell me, it's fine but I am just ...worried..yeah.."
He rubbed his nape awkwardly. And yet, that very moment was the one in which he fell for this awkward and charming boy with a cute smile.
-
"Who put these roses in my locker?"
Jaemin giggled secretly behind the wall when the boy loudly asked as if he was expecting an answer from the students passing by.
He saw the way he smelled them and a sweet smile form along his lips. That alone motivated Jaemin to give more of those white roses everyday.
"But since you guys look cute and smell nice, I will take you home"
He innocently smiled at the roses and gently placed it on the side of his bag. That very moment, Jaemin realized he wanted to see those smiles often.
-
"So it was chocolate biscuits yesterday and today's a chocolate bread. What a lucky guy to have a secret admirer who can cook"
As a group of friends passed by him, Jaemin hid a satisfied smile to himself while looking down at his injured fingers when he melt chocolate while learning to make those from Jaein.
He felt like he accomplished something when he saw Jeno finishing the snacks he made everyday.
That was the very moment he became to know more about his favorite things.
-
"Do you know why I love you so much? Because you always make me smile. You know how I like the smell of roses. You know what my favorite foods are. You always completed me. I love you so much Jaein."
Seeing Jaein's confused smile broke Jaemin's heart as he secretly cried in an empty room for more than an hour.
The confession... was misunderstood in an extremely different wrong person but what would make it different?
The fact that Jeno liked Jaein? That wasn't possible to change the feelings. Even if he knew it was him....even if Jeno really knew it was him who grew those white roses in the backyard to give him, burned his fingers to learn how to make his favorite foods..and the one who loves him all those time behind the walls....will it change?
"I love you too Jeno." was Jaein's answer and ever since, his efforts to be with Jeno were destroyed.
But he never really got a chance to say...
-
🥀
I..I love you Jeno!
"Nana!! J-Jaemin is awake!"
The blurry vision of the medium brightness was what came into the sight first. The dizziness didn't wear away and his whole body felt exhausted.
He blinked a few time, detecting the white ceilings on top that has grids as a pattern. He blinked again, shifting the focus of his eyes a bit just to meet with those worried and concerning eyes that looked at him the same way when he used to say "I am just... worried."
"Nana, are you okay? You passed out after the delivery. Our princess is safe Nana. She's healthy."
Jeno reported calmly, not wanting his excited manner to take place and annoy Jaemin who looked so tired.
His eyes shifted to the side to meet more eyes looking at him that he recognized those were of Renjun, YangYang, Dana and his parents.
He then looked back at Jeno as if he was the supply of his energy at the moment.
"J..Jeno..." he quietly called but the sore throat wasn't helping him at all. He saw that Jeno leaned down a bit closer to him. "I...love...y..."
"Nana?"
His soft whisper with a lack of energy to form actual words enabled Jeno to recognize what he was saying.
"He's too tired that he fell asleep again. Please don't be worried. You can come and get me when he woke up"
"Thank You doctor"
Jeno sighed in a huge relief. He could only smile now after worrying too much. His legs were about to give up but as soon as he saw the small movements of the twitching eyebrows, Jeno felt like his airways were opened again.
"Please be healthy for us Nana" he kissed on the hand and watched the adorable face peacefully sleeping.
"Because I love you so much"
🥀
T
wo days later,
"I love you so much Nana"
Jeno confessed, holding the small hands inside his bigger grip. He knew Jaemin was still in his sleep but practicing and rehearsing it won't hurt right.
His head turned back to the empty craddle where their princess would be sleeping and the reviving energy to continue his plan expanded stronger.
(A/N: I am not sure about the nursing and breastfeeding part for this story so let's just say that the baby was already taken care of by the specialized nursing person and thus, she will have to stay with that person for a while.)
The day was the day where he planned to confess Jaemin. It was kind of noticeable and he knew Jaemin caught a few of the hints before this but Jeno decided he needed to be clearer.
Now that their little princess was out to the world, Jeno felt like he had a support behind his back. It warmed his heart to start a family with Jaemin. But it was upon this sweet, little man to accept him.
🥀
Normally, it is possible to discharge from hospital around this time but Jaemin was required to stay because the baby needed more care by the specialized nurses as Jaemin also lacked in nutritions. Aside from that, both of them were healthy.
Jeno earned a glare from Jaemin when he "accidentally" rubbed his hand on Jaemin's hand once he picked up the plate after Jaemin ate his breakfast.
His eyes were a bit different today—Jaemin recorded the actions. He had always been watching Jeno from the corner of his eyes ever since he knew him and therefore, the slightest of Jeno's behaviors can never passed unknown by him.
Jeno cleaned up the space around, trying his bestest to be normal. But he kind of know Jaemin was sketchy about him today. The way his beautiful eyes spared some glances at him time to time gave it away.
"So uh—"
"Where can I see my baby?"
Jaemin finally spoke out but of couse, with an unintentional thought of disturbing Jeno's sentence.
"Eh.." Jeno glared back, confused and amazed that Jaemin talked to him.
"She..she is in the nursing room. I checked earlier and she went back to nap"
Jeno explained trying to sound he wasn't all exicted about this.
"Oh."
Jaemin exclaimed under his breath and tried to stand up. Jeno was confused at first until he sensed the tilted body that almost leaned on him with a lost in balance. Jeno quickly stood up and held the body within his arms, allowing Jaemin to take space to balance himself back.
"Jaemin-ah, be careful. Where do you want to go?"
He questioned worriedly with a frown. His initial calm mind started to race once his instincts went full on guard to protect Jaemin. But he did not know how Jaemin's heart was beating in full speed ever since he recalled the gap between their faces.
Jeno blinked, utterly unaware of their distance since his focus was only on holding Jaemin tight.
"Jaemin?" He called gently.
Only then the boy in his arms came back to senses as he pushed Jeno slightly and remove himself from the grip.
"I..I.."
he blushed furiously but the slow witted Jeno just now realized what just happened.
He internally cursed himself for being too caught up with worries that he dismissed the fact that he was being too close to Jaemin.
Not wanting to be dumber than he was now, Jeno took a deep breath and stepped forward. Jaemin looked up and parted his lips due to nervousness.
A soft touch on both of his hands were from Jeno's gentle grip. His senses were numb as they did not try to pull away. The eyes stared deep into Jeno's, seemingly trying to read what the man was currently thinking.
"Nana" his soft voice striked again. It only took him that to pull up all his attention on Jeno.
There was a gentle rub on his palm again and it almost felt like someone was making his heart itch in the same way.
Jeno's behaviors were peculiar. The man rarely lacked in confidence and the person standing in front of him was expressing just that to Jaemin's dismay. The way he licked his bottom lip, the way his eyes couldn't concentrate on him and the rhythm of his breathing was pointing Jaemin something he wasn't brave enough to believe.
"Nana, I need you to know something." His sincere eyes stared at him again. This time, they were full of passionate truth that drained Jaemin's doubts.
"I really want to apologize you for everything I did. I was terrible on you but you never complained, Nana. I...I was stupid enough to use your feelings for me against you."
His breaths hitched, the flow being inconsistent through his nostrils. The airways of his lungs felt blocked and it had to be from the cause of dissolving his heavy regrets now that he was finally apologizing Jaemin.
"I am well aware that I am such a lacking person for you Jaemin. B-but, I can't do anything else not to lose you. I am in love with you Jaemin-ah."
The stars in front of Jeno's eyes widened. Each and every curl of the long lashes fanned out in the air clearly and Jeno couldn't believe Jaemin was a real person instead of an angel.
Jeno slowly slided his hands on to Jaemin's arms from his palms and pulled him closer. Jaemin snapped out of a thousand of questions he created in his head in a spam of a second.
Jeno loves me?
He means...he loves me?
How is that possible?
He hates me!
But...he didn't say he hates me..he said he loves me..
Why?
What made him change?
Why did he change?
Why would he love me?
Isn't he supposed to hate me?
Am I supposed to answer?
What do I do?
How will I be able to leave when he says like this?
"Nana...Please don't reject me. You can remark me as a selfish person but I won't be able to endure the pain if you leave me. Even if you can't love me or accept me back, can you please think of Jisungie? I...I don't even stand a chance to use him, but I am willing to do anything to be with me Nana. Please"
Jaemin's eyes were unreadable in the moment and Jeno knew his chest was burning from the lack in response. He was afraid that he would be rejected but he was also anticipating for any word to leave Jaemin's mouth.
The tension in their stare was vivid and none of them knew what to do. Jaemin's head clouded in doubts as Jeno's mind blown away in fear. The counting of the seconds never helped him calm down.
"I'm sorry...I don't want to be with you Jeno"
🥀
Jeno pouted unknowingly when he saw the two giggling together on the bed.
Yes, yes, no one needs to remind him that he just got rejected in the morning. And no one needs to point out that he was indeed being ignored by his own son and his crush? But Jeno and Jaemin already have a baby together—anyway, let's settle with a crush.
"Kekekeke Nana! That's not a boat!"
Jisung laughed at Jaemin's paper boat that did not look like a boat at all.
Ever since Jisung arrived to visit his baby sister and Jaemin after school, he was enjoying here. Jaemin was playing along with Jisung after spending time with their baby this whole morning after rejecting Jeno. He even took a nap beside their babygirl and woke up to spend time with Jisung as the baby continued to sleep.
Jaemin was an ace at avoiding game. Jeno realized not too long ago that he was able to bully Jaemin just because he allowed him to. As much as he appreciated how Jaemin was giving time to respect himself, Jeno felt heart broken about it.
His pout noticeably pressed up and Jaemin couldn't help but be aware of it. Stealing a glance and looking away, Jaemin incorperated his giggles along with Jisung's laughters to hide his sincere happiness and blissful moment to witness something as adorable as Jeno pouting.
'I'm not so sure where this is going but I can't resist your charms Jeno. You are undeniable for me.'
🥀
Jaemin oddly woke up 2 am after falling asleep in the early evening.
His parents visited him as well as Jisung and he even went to the nurses to learn a thing or two about care giving to newborns. He learned how to change diapers, how to handle a baby, and how and when to check up. It was probably a productive day that made him tired and to eventually fell asleep early in the evening after dinner.
Jaemin sat up and reached out to grab his water that he knew Jeno would fill out for him. Draining down the bottle, Jaemin decided he would walk in the room for a while. He pushed his body up and stood up, feet automatically slipping into the slippers.
The room was dimmed for his favor during asleep but now that he was wake, it was a bit dull to see through. Light snores for a close distance was heard and his mood immediately lightened up.
Once again, the body followed where the mind was going and stopped only in front of the sleeping man, taking the sofa in full capacity as though it was his bed.
To be honest, Jaemin felt so bad that Jeno slept on the sofa for almost two weeks continously. He never left his side except from that one afternoon he had an urgent meeting. Luckily, Renjun agreed to be there for him. Jeno brought every thing he needed to the hosptial since he worked from the room.
Jaemin crouched down beside and closely scanned Jeno's peaceful sleep. The moon light prettily scattered on his face and he glowed even in the dark. Jeno was too gorgeous.
Not being able to resist his mind, Jaemin stole a soft kiss on the bridge of the nose. It was a short kiss and he was fully satisfied with it.
Then he proceeded to brush off the strand of hair on Jeno's forehead. His dark hair was getting pretty long.
A small smile formed on Jaemin's cherry lips again as he mindlessly pressed his lips against the newly revealed region of Jeno's forehead. A peck was given with sweetness.
'One more kiss and I'll be fine'
He promised himself and this time, he daringly pressed his lips against Jeno's soft lips.
The familiar feeling revived in his heart. He has kissed these lips before and it always gave him the pleasant feeling of sweetness. The taste must have been the villian that caused Jaemin to unconsciously move his lips on top as he unknowingly sucked on the bottom lip.
Just a simple suck and the wetness of their lips transferred to each other. Jaemin repeated the same action again while he pressed down a bit stronger this time. A little flinch went unknown by the mind-clouded Jaemin whose only attention was on Jeno's lips. He slowly and gently took in the kiss. His eyes closed calmly, trying to concentrate on the deepening feeling that dived down to his heart.
Jaemin loved how his lips felt against Jeno's. He felt addictive to the ones that lacked in the response but tasted as great as if they were active. The breathing sharpened and Jaemin's eyes suddenly widened when a hand grabbed on his neck and kept him in place. The former inactive lips came to life as his upper lip got sucked between Jeno's sweetness.
Regardless of how he cherished it, Jaemin pulled back. He almost fell back on his hips when he backed away but luckily he found a balance back only to accidentally lean in front and into Jeno's chest.
Jeno took it as a chance to pull the body up in a swift movement and in a blink of eye, Jaemin's upper body was facing Jeno who stared back at him with admiration from below.
"J-jeno..let me go"
He moved his body but Jeno hugged him with both arms around his waist and he was trapped.
"Jeno ah..p-please"
"Nana.." his raspy voice called out in the dark.
Jaemin stared right back at him, being unable to escape the mysterical lock Jeno trapped him in.
"I love you" he confessed again.
"Jeno. Please let me go first. Then we can talk"
"Nana, I love you. I love everything about you"
Jaemin moved around again. His heart would definitely stop if Jeno continued to make him feel like this more.
"I also love how you like to steal kisses from me"
"T-that..I.." Jaemin's movements stopped since he was plainly caught at the scene.
"It's okay Nana. I love them too."
The silence covered a few seconds until Jeno decided to speak again.
"Jaemin ah, I understand if you can't trust me well enough. To be honest, I understand your situation well. But can you please live back with us? I want to be with my daughter and you as much as I want to be with Jisung. You don't have to accept me. In fact, you can take your time to learn more about me. In the meantime, please just stay with me. Please, let me be in love with you more"
🥀
3 months later~
Jaemin signaled his hands and gestured the running Jeno to not come in his direction but he was already too late.
The man has already opened the closet and entered as he took a spot in front of Jaemin.
"Dada! Nana!! Jisungie is coming for you!!" A sequence of giggles passed through the halls that could be heard from the room. Jeno left a small crack of the door on the closet and smiled at Jaemin who was sulking at his last minute decision to come hide in the same location with him.
It was an intentional plan but this angel who haven't say he loves him back yet didn't need to know.
Jeno succeeded in Jaemin to stay with him under the title of trying to figure of how their relationship would continue while Jeno awaited standby with marriage contract, engagement rings and all those connections he robbed from Renjun to celebrate a wedding if they ever had one. It was kind of sad to be unsure about the plans but hey, their relationship was improving.
They didn't have any titles because Jaemin didn't fully accept Jeno....yet. But everything else was normal aside from certain kisses and pecks Jeno stole from Jaemin if he couldn't resist.
And now, they were playing hide and seek as their little Nomi sat in the middle of the living room with Dana to throw some paper blocks and play with toys. Awhile ago, they were all playing with Nomi but Jisung started to sulk that he wanted to play hide and seek and thus, their current situation.
"Why did you come here Jeno? There are a lot of places you can hide" Jaemin greddily expanded his legs to strand out to show that this was his place.
Jeno smiled at the cuteness. He was more than glad to accept Jaemin's childishness that started to be expressed in front of Jeno.
"Wae? I just find this place quick because Jisung was counting down too fast"
Jaemin's pout wasn't satisfied even after that.
"Fine."
"If you leave your pout like this in front of me, I am going to kiss you right here Nana" Jeno teased.
Jaemin pouted even more tilting his head a little bit to the side to which he thought he wouldn't be seen by Jeno but the man did due to the small ray of light that entered from the crack he left.
He immediately pulled the body up from the arms and as Jaemin's body leaned toward his direction, Jeno made a space to put his legs down flat. Then he used his strength in the arms to lift up Jaemin by his hand and waist until Jaemin couldn't help but to sit on Jeno's lap facing him.
"J-Jeno!?"
"Shuu.. you want to get caught?"
"N-no"
"I love you"
Jaemin's eyes looked at him in shock again. Every time Jeno confessed him, Jaemin was left speechless because all the words only happened inside his brain.
Jeno pull his legs upward and bent them flat. That very action pushed Jaemin to be closer to him and he instantly grabbed on the piece of Jeno's shirt corner by surprise.
"I love you so much Nana"
His soft and quiet voice soothed him. All of his confessions were the anecdotes to the wounds which Jaemin happily wouldn't mind taking them for.
Jaemin remained the eye contact even when Jeno pulled his neck and shortened their gap. His soft lips ghosted right above Jaemin's and he kept his breaths in.
"Just so you know, I love you so so much Jaeminnie."
And that, he pressed his lips all over Jaemin's. The simple kiss lightened up both of their hearts. It wasn't even a passionate, steamy or a hot kiss. It was as simple as Jaemin's loves for Jeno.
The cherry lips brushed against each other in the most gentle manner, almost caressing each other in generosity. Jaemin cupped Jeno's sharp face and melted into the sweet leading of Jeno's lips. The wetness of their kiss began and Jeno pulled in, grabbing Jaemin by the waist.
He wanted to go deeper than that. Jaemin's lips always gave him the feeling of completion.
Jeno checked if he was allowed to go another step into kissing by biting down Jaemin's fuller lower lip. With a soft groan, Jaemin opened up for him another second. His tongue gently pressed and licked on Jaemin's lips and finally he rolled into the addictive mouth.
Jaemin pressed even harder for Jeno and that very moment they heard,
"Nana!! Oh! Dada!! Found you! Yayyy!"
Jisung jumped up and down playfully and climbed on the bed to bounce again.
Jaemin shyly came out of the closet with reddened lips and Jeno had a big smirk.
Luckily, Jisung didn't seem to see them or else Jaemin would throw himself out of the window due to embarrassment.
Jaemin picked Jisung and carried him down from the bed in case he fell down.
" Baby Ji!! You did great" jaemin smiled back and patted his hair.
"Eh? Nana! Why are you so red? Wait. Did Dada do anything to you again?"
Jeno stood by the closet with a proud smile while Jaemin wanted to evaporate in the thin air.
"Eh..N-no Jisungie. It's nothing. Go and play with Nomi for now okay? Nana will come and join you two"
"Yayyy!"
Jisung ran out of the door and climbed downstairs as he cheered. That boy was in the best mood. And so did Jeno.
As soon as the door closed, Jaemin turned around just to see Jeno pinning him by the door again.
"Let's continue Nana"
Jaemin frowned and pushed Jeno back.
"No. I promised to spend time with my babies."
"What about me?"
"Are you a baby?"
"Wouldn't mind to be yours"
Jaemin's red blush made him want to tease more.
"I love you so much Nana. And I will let you go now because of that."
Jeno smiled at him and gently caressed his chin before releasing him to go.
Jaemin quickly exited the room and attempted to rush downstairs until his mind stuck back.
With a deep breath and a couple of blinks, he returned back to the room, pulled Jeno who was closing the closet's door that they left open.
His bewildered and curious eyes met him and without any explanation, Jaemin breathed out,
"I love you so much Lee Jeno"
and pressed his lips against Jeno's again. The warmth revisited and it took Jeno some time to process what was going on.
Jeno softly broke a gap between the lip and carefully sucked on the upper lip. He used his other hand to cup and direct Jaemin's face to angle it.
Jaemin wrapped himself around Jeno's neck to get a deeper kiss from the man he loves the most. But let's keep a secret from Jisung about this.
A lovely feeling revisited their hearts when they felt each other lips moving in a rhythm.
Jeno moved away after he was satisfied and also wanted his sweet angel to breathe.
Then he printed his lips around everywhere on the face to give butterfly kisses and ended up with a moist kiss on the sweet lips once again.
"I love you baby"
"I love you too Jeno."
He wasn't perfect but his little family was. They came in together just like a puzzle piece and it felt right to fall deeper in love again. It was completed even though it can't always be perfect.
Through the process of reflecting himself for all the mistakes, Jeno found his love who can understand him, love him as much and give him a warm family.
* E N D *
_______________
🥀
_______________
Thank You So Much for reading this book. It has now ended and I hope it gave you a rollercoaster (coaster) ride with different emotions. Please look forward to my upcoming books.
-chickennnnout 🥀