REFLECTION OF GUILT

Seconds of Every Second

Chapter 2| Seconds of Every Second

"I love you Jeno"

"I.....I....love.."

The white stream of light beams until the knowledge of sight disappears between the shinning rays.

Before he could even form another word from his lips, the person is gone. He vanishes in the thin piece of air, covered in the heavy weighted mind of the passionate sin he created.

The sea of guilt engraves in his heart just to feel like he replaces every drop of blood with guilt.

"Nana!!!!!!!!" Cold sweats take over his whole body, not stopping him from trembling and Jeno wakes up to the feeling of painful wounds in his chest.

He uses his arms to lift up his drained down body and sits up, using the headboard as a support. Then he lit up the night lamp beside him, suddenly disliking the accompany of darkness. The electronic clock beside him shows it's only 4 A.M and he should still be asleep, especially when he overworks last night.

Jeno closes his eyes to take a better rest but the undying headache makes him suffer.

"Jaeminnie.." his lips instinctively murmurs out. He knows how the mention of the specific name will bring him a reviving memory of the person's sweet smile and that piece of imagery can totally heal all the pain.

Even though he is not ready to admit it, he has already been obsessed with that smile where he can only afford to see it showing to others but him.

He deserves it. He deserves getting a pair of fearful sparkles that always impel to hide away from him. It is only for him to be lacking those smiles for days that can lit up everyone's mood.

Jaemin's smiles. Jaemin's laughters. Oh heaven...his lips. It's so close to see but so hard to reach for.

Jeno had countless imaginations where he got to hug the sweet man from behind whenever he saw him busy in the kitchen every morning.

His cloud of minds always wanted to catch that adorable being in his arms and shower him with kisses all over the face. He wants to caress those smooth lips with his and steal away the warmth that always embrace Jeno's heart with sweetness.

He wants to lock him up to himself so only he can see him whenever he wants to.

But everytime his possessiveness thrives to have a gradual growth, a reflection of a guilt digs along with him. The sight of him abusing those very same lips he now wants to cherish as a precious gem. Those sharp teeth of his sinking down on the soft bottom lips, mistreating and demanding to suck in all the sweetness to himself. He can still remember the taste of the blood that he sipped in until the tired lips trembled to give him more.

How much do you have to give me more Nana? You don't deserve this. But I am so selfish that I can't let you go.. I can't let you go even if I remember mercilessly taking your body countless times without your will. I never treated you with respect,for all my desires can ask me is to pull out all the warmth and pleasures you can give me. Those tears- I intentionally ignored, Nana. I saw them but I acted like I didn't see them and I....I truely ignored them like they didn't bother me. I dearly noticed that I was using all your feelings for me as a hostage to sabotage you. I realized how much I hurt you, Nana. I questioned a million time why you never ran away from me but it's unbelievable how your answer was because of me and Jisung. Everytime you said that, I responded with a smirk and worded out all the hurtful things that underestimated and in fact, mocked your sincere love for us.

Jeno heavily sighs. It has been three weeks that he has been careful with their relationship.

Even though he realizes how Jaemin is sharp enough to notice his behaviors, Jeno acts like it's totally normal. To be honest, he is so afraid to confront Jaemin.