ZEN
I look at him and calm myself down. He's always the understanding one. He's always the deep one. That's why I know I don't have to worry about the things I'm about to say. He will not judge me. He will not laugh at me. And I feel comforted because of this personality of him.
And his eyes are smiling down at me so I feel like nothing else matters now. It's just me and him and the meaning behind my painting.
How can his eyes smile like that? How can someone's eyes be this comforting?
Inalis ko ang dyaryong nakabalot sa painting na ipininta ko. I have shown the painting of him, with his skin emitting different colors of the setting sun, as if he is the source of light, as if colors are dripping from him like thick blood. He has this calm and smiling face but in a kind of mysterious way while facing the sea waves which are basking from his different colors and light. No one will know what mysteries he is hiding except for the color he is emitting from the outside. But even though he's a mysterious one, he's adding beauty to everything around him and I guess that's enough to not question his existence.
I shyly watch his face which is slowly covered by awe and delight, as if my painting is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen in this world. I want to roll my eyes because I feel like he's just overreacting but I think his feelings are sincere right now and this makes me feel a little embarrass and also relieved.
His smile reaches his eyes as he stares at me straight in the eyes. And I can see how grateful and happy he is and that makes me blush faintly.
He finally speaks after a moment of silent appreciation. "Well, you always say I'm the sun who shines so bright – burning too bright. But there is something mysterious about this painting. I'm not sure if you're trying to uncover my mysteries or maybe you just let it go as if accepting that there will be secrets inside me that you can't uncover. Because maybe you think there's beauty in mystery? Or maybe you just accept me this way without questions. I love this painting so much, Zen. You painted me exquisitely that almost left me speechless. And I think my family will love this so much as well."
And I hate it when he's understanding me too much. Am I that easy to read?
"Since you understand this painting so much, I think I don't have to say anything anymore?" pang-aasar ko sa kanya.
He chuckles. "Say it. I want to hear it from you. I always want to hear and know your thoughts."
Tipid na ngumiti ako at malalim na huminga bago nagsalita. "Yes. For me you're the sun. You shine so bright that it's contagious. You shine so bright that you can bring light and hope to everyone around you. And when you're not around it feels a bit dark or cloudy or rainy. Yes, you have your own mysteries too. Maybe that's also the reason why the sun is hiding behind clouds or setting. Maybe that way the sun can hide its own mysteries from everyone after burning so bright. But it doesn't matter. Everyone has their own mysteries. Everyone has a thing to hide. And I accept you despite your secrets because you're the sun who suddenly rise in my darkest days. You'll always be the brightest sun who ever lives."
May mga narinig akong tilian at pang-aasar mula sa mga kaklase namin. "Ang sweet naman!"
"Ayieee!" sigaw pa ng iba.
"Uy, bagong loveteam! ZenZen couple!"
Mas lalong lumakas ang pang-aasar nila.
My face burns so hot as I give him my painting. Rozend just let out a shy but grateful smile after accepting it. And I also notice the pink tinge of blush on his cheeks. I guess I really say something embarrassing. I suddenly want to dig a hole for myself and hide.
What are you thinking? I want to know.
I hate how I'm being nervous – how my heart wildly races just for someone's opinion and thoughts.
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