Y/n
I was fed up.fed up with all the arguements.the aruging could go on all night.
The shouting,the insults,the silent treatment the next morning and then it cycles.
I try and stay far away from that house but sometimes he'll invite me round,asif hed forgotten that we cant be within 5 metres of eachother without picking on eachother.
Hes never laid a finger on me during an arguement though.im thankful for it but words still hurt.
This is a toxic relationship and i sometimes wonder to myself late at night why im still with the boy,why i put up with his slut shaming.
I was sat on a table at a golf course.Jacob had invited me to come to watch him and his friends play golf.it wasnt because he wanted to see me it was because he wanted to show me off to his friends.most of them are single so he obviously just wanted to make them jealous.
"Hey" Jacob said walking in,picking up the fanta infront of me and downing it.
"Hey that was mine!" I said in annoyed tone.
"I was thirsty and im your boyfriend you should let me have some of your drink" he said in a sarcastic tone
"Yeah some not the whole damn thing" i used my hands to exaggerate.
"Oh shush" he said walking back over to his friends.i rolled my eyes and went on my phone.
I posted on instagram a picture id taken the night before and turned off my phone.
"Y/n come here!" Jacob called so i walked over.
He reached over and put his arm around me.i rolled my eyes and started a conversation with someone who wouldnt make my blood boil.
Later that day Jacob invited me over for dinner.obviously infront of his friends.
I agreed because he'd go off on one if i make our relationship look bad infront of his friends.
When id agreed he smiled and kissed me.
I like it when he kisses me.his lips are soft.i guess id forgotten what his lips were like.
When we got in he dragged me up stairs after wed said hi to his mom.
He slammed his door shut.
"I cant believe you" he said pointing a figner at me as he took his sweater off.
"What did i do" i put my hands up.
"You were flirting with me friend! How do you think that makes me look! Huh?! My girlfriend flirting with one of my friends" he exclaimed.
"I wasnt flirting i was making conversation! I cant have a conversation with you without you going off on one!" I couldnt stress it enough to him.
"And this" he turned his phone around to show the picture id posted earlier that day.
"What about it" i crossed my arms.
"Your clothes are too revealing you look like a slut! Again how do you think that makes me look?!" He was obviously angry.
"I dont care how it makes you look were hardly in a relationship! Most relationship are them cuddling and kissing but no! Our relationship is us down eachother throats all the time about stupid little thing!" I raised my hands again to exaggerate what i was saying.
He shook his head.
"Do you really think i want to argue?! Your just a little shit and find anything to agrue about"
"Me?! Dont play you dare play victim here Jacob.the other day i got up to get a drink and you shouted at me because aparently my 'shorts were too short' and that i was walking to loud" i squeezed my eyes shut out of frustration.
"They were to short! You looked like a slut with your ass hanging out!" Tears pricked my eyes.this always happens.ill stay strong but words do hurt.his slut shaming really gets to me.the person whos suppose to shout at whoever calls me a slut but for me they are the same person.
"Oh your so weak" he scoffed.
"How do you think i feel?! Getting called a slut all the time.told my clothes are too revealing but if i wear sweats and a hoodie im not formal enough.if i wear jeans and an oversized t-shirt im not showing enough skin.i cant fucking win!" I shouted as tears flowed down my cheeks.
Everything seemed im slow motion as Jacob raised his right hand up.my brows furrowed together as his hand made contact with my left cheek.
My mouth hung open as the room fell silent.i grabbed my cheek as more tears fell.i sobbed out.
"Y/n im so sorry" he seemed worried for thr first time.
"No,no you stay away from me were done" it was the first and last time hed ever lay a finger on me.if he was capable of slapping me he was capable of much worse.
I opened his bedroom door and ignored his pleading.
He grabbed my wrist but i smacked it away and ran down the stairs.
I got my shoes on as fast as i could when i saw Ransom pull up in the drive way.he got out and the dogs jumped up at him.i ran over and got the dogs off.i ran to his car and got in.
"What the fuck are you doing" he asked as he opened the drivers side door.
"I need a ride" i smiled but it was evident i had been crying.
"And why cant Jacob take you?" He asked
"Were over..were done" i shook my head and face forward.
"Why-" i cut him off.
"Dont act like you dont hear our argueing" i shut my eyes and laid back trying to relax.
I was happy i didnt have to deal with Jacob anymore,that i stood up to myself but i couldnt help feeling even emptier then before.
Ransom got in and started driving me home.
"So what made you finally breakup" i took occasional glances at me.
"He slapped me" i admitted
"He what?" Ransome raised his voice.
"Thats not right,fuck i knew he was a little shit" Ransome shifted in his seat as his angry increased.
"Yeah well were over now so could you please stop asking me questions?" I asked as we turned into my street.
"Yeah okay your home anyways" he stopped outside of my house.my dad was sat on the porch.
I got out,thanked him and went to go inside.
"Whos that" my dad asked pointing st the car that was now speeding down the road.
"Thats Ransome..Jacobs cousin" i smiled before turing to go in.
"Why didnt Jacob drop you off" he stopped me again.
"Because were not together anymore" he tried to stop me again but i was already inside.
I ran upstairs and shut the door.i felt empty..i felt like something was missing and that something was Jacob.i hated his guts but there obviously was a reason i still loved him.
The start of our relationship was great.we cuddled and kissed and watched movies all the time but we got too comfortable with eachother and started picking out eachother flaws.thats how it started.
There must be a reason i still love him..and that reason is because I remember.i remember what are relationship was like before..and i miss it.