Trigger warning(s)
Anxiety, abuse, depression, self harm!
-LAST UPDATED SEPTEMBER 13TH 2020-
Continue at your own risk.
Bro no lie, I DEAD re worked this whole ass story. It sucked because I started writing in 2 months ago. Thanks to SpaciPie for her support of my fics, and telling me I don't write as bad as I think I do. Also, please pay attention to the triggers! With these 80 words of warning in the bag, let's start.
-story start-
You walked into school, with your head hung low. You honestly didn't know why you came anymore. It's not like you payed attention. You just slept, you barely got any sleep at home. In fact, you hadn't slept at home in days.
Your mom has never liked you. She blames your imperfections for everything that's gone wrong in her life. She got into drugs because you where a bad student. Your dad left because you weren't girly enough, stuff like that. You thought her screaming at you was bad enough, but you didn't like making her mad. The only time she gets physically abusive is when she's mad.
You didn't know what you had done last night, but she threw you to the ground and started to yell at you, and kicked your side pretty hard, leaving a sizable bruise. No one would ever believe you though, she nice to everyone else.
You got your desk, and sat down, classes didn't start for a little bit longer, so you decided to just sit there and study. Your fear of failure was the only thing keeping your grades were they where. Even then, they were slipping.
The next person in the class room, was not shocking to you in the slightest. It was Ishimaru, he was usually here before you, but you got here extra early to get away from your mother.
"Good morning L/N-Chan!"
You looked at him, giving the best smile you could.
"Good morning!"
"What brings you here so early!"
You froze, you didn't want to say the real reason. You felt as if he would't believe you.
"Oh! I just woke up early and decided to get ready and go ahead and come!"
You looked back down at your note book. Scribbling in it at this point as to not cause suspicion.
"L/N-Chan, I actually do need to talk to you about something, can you follow me?"
You put everything back in your bag, and stood up to follow him.
"Sure!"
You walked for what seemed like forever while your mind was racing. Did he know, no he couldn't, but he was a good friend, but none of your other good friends spoke up about it! You didn't know and that worried you even more.
You walked back to what was a relatively remote part of the school. Far enough to were no one could hear what you two were talking about.
"Ok! What do you need to talk about?"
You were good friends with him, since you two were the first in class every day. That at first led to small talk, but you had grown to the point of full fledge conversations.
He grabbed a paper from his bag and handed it to you. It was your grades, you had thrown them away. Deciding it was best your mother didn't see it.
"L/N-Chan, this is much worse then what your grades were a couple weeks ago. What happened."
You chocked on your answer, not finding one. All you could do was look down.
"Hey? Are you okay."
You jumped forward, going to go say that you were fine. But you ended up accidentally pulling your shirt up, revealing the bruise.
The conversation fell deadly quite. You were about to run away, until Ishimaru finally spoke.
"L/N-Chan, who did that to you?"
You jumped up
"What, oh, I just fell-"
"There's boot marks on it! Just tell me what happened."
You looked away, and decided there was no point in hiding it anymore.
"My mom."
You tried to run away again, but he grabbed your arm.
"Why haven't you told anyone yet!"
You looked away.
"C-can we have this conversation after school?"
He let go of your arm.
"Of course! We can do it after we're done cleaning! Now, let's get to class."
You two walked back to the classroom, where you proceeded to sleep. Normally Ishimaru would wake you up. But he let you sleep through 99% of the day. Only waking you up when it was time to go.
"Hey, it's the end of the day!"
You felt him slightly shake you, knowing his yelling would definitely wake you up.
"I'm up! I'm up!"
You sat up, rubbing your eyes.
"C'mon! We gotta clean!"
You nodded and stood up.
You stood up, and grabbed the broom that he had handed you, and started sweeping. After you two had finished cleaning, and you had woken up a little more. You walked down to the school gate.
"Ok, we're done cleaning. Now will you tell me what happened!"
You felt a slight shiver run down your spine.
"Not here! People may hear it!"
He nodded in agreement.
"My house isn't that far away! We can walk there if you would like!"
You started walking to his house, a wave of anxiety hitting you! What if he found the scars on your wrist! Or, something really bad! He opened the door, and let you slide in.
"DAD! I'M HOME!"
No response met him at the door as you two started to take off your shoes.
"I guess he's not home."
You walked to his room, as he closed the door behind. He let you sit where you felt comfortable, and began to talk.
"Ok L/N! We're at my house, you can talk now!"
You looked down, and made sure no eye contact was made.
"I'm sorry for not telling anyone! I was just so scared no one would believe me. My mom's so nice to everyone, but me."
You started to loosen your fear, as you told him what had happened. You weren't even sure why you were venting to him. It's not like he can do anything about it.
"And...... that's it."
You ended your rant, your hands sitting in your lap. You had been tugging your jacket sleeve down the whole time, making sure it would never scrunch up. Ishimaru looked out at you with a stair. That can only be described as worry.
"L/N, you need to tell someone else about this!"
You shot up.
"NO- I mean no. My mom knows every single police officer in this part of town! Who's gonna believe me?"
You tried to stand up, but when you bent your arm. You sleeve went along with it.
"L/N?"
You grabbed your bag, and ran to the front door way. Not even putting on your shoes, you just grabbed them and ran. You decided you were done with everything, done with school, done with friends, done with home, but not life, not yet. You dug into your bag, finding some money that you had stolen from your mother.
You kept running until you reached your house, flipping in off as you ran past. Where was life going to lead you, no idea, but you were willing to follow.
You grabbed your phone, and after seeing all of the messages, and turned it off. You wandered around the town, until finding a place to sleep, with no screaming, and no students. Just for one of the first time in your life, peace and quite.
-word count 1,274-