"Like so. You see?"
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"Have you got a brother?"
"No, not anymore. Just me."
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"My mate Ben, that was a day and a half, got rope burn off that kite. And I got soaked. And then I got electrocuted!"
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"We're on the bloody moon."
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"D'you fancy going out?"
"Ok."
"We might die."
"We might not."
"Good! Come on. Not her, she'll hold us up."
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"I mean we could die any minute but all the same... it's beautiful."
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"I had a cousin. Adeola. She worked at Canary Wharf. She never came home."
"I'm sorry."
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"I was there, in the battle. It was...."
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"I'm not Smith. That's not my real name."
"Who are you then?"
"I'm the Doctor."
"Me too, if I ever pass my exams. What is it then, Doctor Smith?"
"Just the Doctor."
"How do you mean just the Doctor?"
"Just the Doctor."
"What people call you the Doctor?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I'm not. Far as I'm concerned, you gotta earn that title."
"I'd better make a start then."
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"Aliens. Real proper aliens. They're aliens."
"Judoon."
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"What are names now, when something unnameable is marching towards us?"
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"Who are you?"
"Oh, I'm a survivor, Mr. Stoker. At any cost."
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"Aww, look down there, you've got a little shop. I like a little shop."
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"They're cataloguing which means they're looking for something non-human which is very bad news for me."
"Why? Oh, you're kidding me. Don't be ridiculous. Stop looking at me like that."
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"What's that thing?"
"Sonic screwdriver."
"Well, if you're not going to answer me properly."
"No, really, it is. It's a screwdriver. And it's sonic. Look."
"What else have you got? A laser spanner?"
"I did, but it was stolen by Emily Pankhurst, cheeky woman."
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"Judoon platoon on the moon."
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"They're thick. They're completely thick."
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"Run!"
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"When I say now, press the button."
"But I don't know which one."
"Then find out."
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"Done!"
"You're completely mad."
"You're right. I look daft with one shoe. Barefoot on the moon."
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"Humans! We're stuck on the moon, running out of air, with the judoon ad a blood sucking criminal, and you're asking personal questions."
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"The judoon are logical and just a little bit thick."
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"Ohhh. She's as clever as me. Almost."
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"Have you seen?! There are these things, these great big space rhino things. I mean, rhinos with guns. And we're on the moon. Great big space rhinos with guns on the moon! I only came in for my bunion! Look! All fixed now. Good treatment. The nurses were lovely. I said to my wife, I said I'd recommend this place to anyone. But now we're on the moon. And did I mention rhinos?"
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"I did magnetics GCSE... well I failed but still..."
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"I'm talking to an alien? In a hospital? Do they have an ET department or something?"
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"Why should I have cake? I've got my little straw."
"That's nice. Milkshake? I like banana."
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"I'm afraid this is going to hurt. But If it's any consolation, I don't think the dead remember."
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"It's raining, Martha. It's raining on the moon."
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"I was there, I saw it happen. And I feel uniquely privileged. I looked out on the surface of the moon, and I saw the Earth suspended in space. And it all just proves Mr. Saxon right. We are not alone in the universe. There's life out there. Wild and extraordinary life."
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"But what sort of species? It's not everyday you get to ask that."
"I'm a Time Lord."
"Right. Not pompous at all then."
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"Well, I just thought, since you saved my life and I've got a new sonic screwdriver that needs road testing, you might fancy a trip."
"What, into space?"
"Well..."
"I can't. I've got exams. I've got things to do, I've got to go into town first thing and pay the rent, I've got my family going mad."
"If it helps, I can travel in time as well."
"Get out of here."
"I can."
"Come on, that is going too far."
"I'll prove it. Told you."
"No, but, that was this morning. Did you? Oh my god! You can travel in time. But hold on, if you can travel in time, why didn't you tell me not to go into work?"
"Crossing into established events is strictly forbidden. Except for cheap tricks."
"And that's your spaceship?"
"It's called the TARDIS. Time and Relative Dimension in Space."
"It's made of wood. But there's not much room, we'd be a bit intimate."
"Take a look."
"No, no, no. But it's just a box. But it's huge! How does it do that? It's wood! It's like a box with that room crammed in. It's bigger on the inside."
"Is it? I hadn't noticed."
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"Recently, there was a friend of mine. Rose, her name was Rose. And we were together. Anyway."
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"I'd rather be on my own."
"Well, you're the one that kissed me."
"That was a genetic transfer."
"And if you will wear a tight suit..."
"Don't."
"And travel all the way across the universe to ask me on a date. Just for the record, I'm not remotely interested. I only go for humans."
"Good!"
—————————————————————————————————
"Ready?"
"No!"
"Off we go!"
—————————————————————————————————
"Welcome aboard, Miss. Jones."
"It's my pleasure, Mr. Smith."
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