The blast that came from me erupted out like a short but powerful shockwave, sweeping everyone off their feet and smashing into the rickety shed behind me. Asajj, Ahsoka, and the two thugs were all knocked unconscious, and the building started shaking and buckling, looking for all the world like it was about to collapse – which, as it turned out, it was.
I didn't even stick out my hands to prevent its destruction; I just stayed where I lay and focused. The walls froze, and the roof stopped caving in, leaving a cloud of dust as the only proof that it had been falling down in the first place. Then people started flooding out, fleeing the building and getting a safe distance from it. When the last person exited, I released it with an exhausted huff of breath, and it crashed to the ground.
I lay still, utterly shattered, my whole body shaking from my recent exertions. That blast had almost completely wiped me out, then holding up the building had finished the job. I had no strength left.
By the time the dust and sand settled, Asajj was starting to get up. She must have been furthest away from the blast. She got to her feet unsteadily and looked at the devastation around her, then smirked. "You know what, Skywalker? You'd make a great Sith." Then, with a swish of her cloak, she was gone.
I lay on my back, staring at the blue sky, feeling dizzy and totally spent. The suns beat down relentlessly, but I had no energy to move out of them. My main concern was Ahsoka. After a minute or two, I somehow dragged myself over to her, every muscle shaking and protesting the effort. She was still unconscious, lying on her side with her twin sabers next to her.
Gently running my hand down her arm, I sighed. "I'm sorry, Snips. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was only trying to help." I placed my hand against her forehead, pursing my lips when I felt the heat from her. I needed to get her out of these suns.
I glanced around, half-hoping Obi-Wan might have appeared, but my only company was the pair of still-unconscious thugs and those of the few remaining scum who had fled the collapsing shed. Both my and Ahsoka's comms had been damaged in the blast, so I couldn't even contact Obi-Wan.
"Ahsoka," I called her name softly, but she didn't stir. I sat back on my knees, wondering how long it would take for my strength to return. It occurred to me briefly that sleeping might do me some good. But I could feel myself slowly getting stronger, so I carefully slid one hand under Ahsoka's shoulder blades and the other under her knees. Taking a breath, I stood up cautiously, swaying slightly, feeling the strain of Ahsoka's weight against my arms. The girl wasn't heavy, but I was having trouble, nonetheless. I didn't have the willpower to decide whether that made me weak or not.
My steps were slow and shaky but consistent. Almost without noticing the path I took, I made it back to our ship, where I gently laid Ahsoka, then collapsed beside her. My heart was racing, head spinning, and breathing rapid and irregular. But I was alive. And so was Ahsoka. That was what mattered to me.
I must have fallen asleep because it felt like no time at all before Ahsoka was shaking my shoulder and talking to me. Anxiety was tainting her voice.
"Master? Master, are you alright?"
Blinking heavily at her, I tried to form a useful sentence but didn't really succeed.
"Ahsoka! Anakin!" the relieved voice of Obi-Wan interrupted us, and I glanced across to see my friend nearly running up the ramp. "You're okay! What happened?" He dropped to his knees beside us, putting one hand on Ahsoka's shoulder, the other on my leg as his blue eyes darted between us.
Ahsoka stared back at Obi-Wan with big eyes, tears of worry filling them. "I-I don't know. We ... I was fighting Asajj and there were these thugs and Anakin was there and it was looking bad and I was started to get nervous and-and then something exploded."
I sat up slowly, pleased by how little my muscles were trembling now. "That's kind of what happened." Obi-Wan looked curiously at me, so I continued, but I kept my eyes low. "Asajj and the two thugs went outside, so Ahsoka and I followed. We got talking and then the thugs started scrapping. Did you find Owen and Beru?" I asked suddenly, looking up at Obi-Wan.
He nodded. "They're safe. Keep going."
"Since the thugs were busy, Ahsoka and I were going to take on Asajj, but I ... I got distracted." I dropped my gaze, focusing on the floor or my hands – not Obi-Wan or Ahsoka. "And then I used the Force to create a shockwave or something and knocked everybody out. The shed started collapsing, so I stopped it until everyone got out, but I didn't have the strength to save the building. Asajj got away," I said quietly, feeling guilt bearing down on me like a dead weight. "It's my fault."
"I'm just glad you're both alright," Obi-Wan said sincerely, squeezing Ahsoka's shoulder and my leg.
My eyes tentatively flicked up to Ahsoka. "I'm sorry for knocking you out, Snips."
She looked confused. "You saved my life, Skyguy! You don't have to apologize for that."
"It shouldn't have come to that," I sighed, rubbing my hands together.
We fell into an uncomfortable silence, no one knowing what to say.
Eventually, Obi-Wan broke it wearily. "What next, team?"
Ahsoka glanced at me, then at him. "Should we keep looking for Asajj?"
My eyes widened, but I didn't say anything, looking down quickly.
"I'm not sure, Ahsoka," Obi-Wan responded quietly. "The Council's orders are to find her, and we can't really go against them. Do you have any idea where she might have gone?" I think he was asking me, but I wasn't really listening.
My knees were tucked up to my chest, and I was desperately struggling against the memories that were encouraged by this planet. I had been hoping, vainly as it turned out, that we might have been able to get off it. Hadn't we done our duty? The Council had only asked us to find Asajj, and we'd done that. I was exhausted, my strength was sapped, and memories were still throwing themselves into my mind. All I wanted to do was go home, get some rest, and talk to Padmé. I wanted to sort out my argument with her, tell her how sorry I was, and ask her forgiveness. But I had a job to do, and I couldn't do what I wanted to do. My duty came first. But what happened when my emotions pulled for my attention? "But you're also human. Don't let the Jedi take that away from you." Did I have a say in this matter? "We expect you to doas we say, without question." My shoulders slumped. There was my answer. Instead of filling me with determination and the desire to please them, it filled me with dread. I didn't want to do this. I didn't know if I could.
"Anakin," Obi-Wan called softly. "Is everything alright?"
I watched him nervously, hugging my knees to myself, feeling for all the world like a little boy ... nine years old ... a slave. I pushed the memories aside, forcing myself to focus on Obi-Wan. "I don't know if I can do this, Obi-Wan," I said in a small voice. Tears pricked at my eyes, but I blinked them away.
"Why not, Anakin?" he asked, his tone quiet, gentle.
"It's ...," this time, my voice broke, and I choked out the words, "it's ... I'm distracted, Obi-Wan. I can't focus. It's my mother."
I saw the slightest frown cross Obi-Wan's face, and I felt regret crashing down on top of me. Why did I tell him? He was a brilliant Jedi, and he would probably just view my mother as an unnecessary distraction. He wouldn't get what I was going through – I didn't even know if I should be going through this – and he would almost certainly frown on my reaction to it. I was supposed to be better than this. I was a Jedi, and he trained me as one. I had just disappointed him.
Someone hammering on the door of our ship made all of us jump, and Obi-Wan hesitated before standing up and lowering the ramp. Angry shouts met us, and my eyes almost fell out of my head when I saw the huge mob standing outside the ship. Dragging myself to my feet, I leant against the side of the ship, flinching when the yelling became infinitely louder.
"There he is!" people were shouting, pointing fingers and guns at me. "Come out and take it like a man!"
I frowned, glancing at Obi-Wan in confusion, so he returned my look with a shrug. Facing the crowd, I tried to keep my voice even. "What's the issue?"
My question seemed to anger some, while others laughed and jeered. "You don't know?" they sneered. "Weren't you there? Or has your power corroded your memory?"
"What did I do?" I asked in exasperation, leaning harder against the wall.
"You knocked down a building and almost killed us!" someone near the back yelled, waving his gun around crazily.
My eye caught movement in the far distance, and I noticed a slender figure watching us. Her white face was partly hidden by a hood, but I could still see those thin lips twitching in an amused smirk. A transport stood waiting next to her, but it appeared she had stopped by to watch the show.
"Are you even listening?!" a lady screamed, jarring my attention back to the mob. "Don't you care that you almost killed us?! Do you even care at all?"
I stiffened. "It's not like you care anyway!"
Obi-Wan tried to calm them down, tried to get their attention, but they weren't listening. The inner turmoil started to boil, churning in my stomach and wrapping around me, pulling in the Force like a swirling vortex.
People started stamping their feet and firing their guns into the air, beating out a slow rhythm, accompanied with a chant. "He ... don't ... care .... He ... don't ... care ...."
The drumming got louder and faster, and I could feel my heart racing. I was feeling dizzier by the minute, made worse by the havoc outside. The Force was thrumming in my ears, fizzing and whirling around me, gathering tightly within me. I could feel the power growing inside me once again, and my hands started to shake.
Despite the roar, a female Twi'lek started pumping her fist into the air, yelling at the top of her lungs. "We shouldn't be made to suffer at the Jedi's hands! We should be safe from them! They don't have a right to try and murder us! They should be murdered for what they did to us!"
They were about to run on us, but by now my whole body was trembling so violently that it caused them to falter. I tried desperately to keep in the power, stop it from spilling out and hurting people. But that was why it was there. I was trying to protect Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, and myself. These people were about to hurt them, and I didn't want to let that happen – not when I could do something about it.
"Anakin, no!" Obi-Wan's voice cut through the fuzziness, and I fought myself not to let it go, struggling against the power, crying out and dropping to my knees from the intense effort and pain.
"He's going to do it again!" someone from the front of the mob shouted, and immediately people halted and began backtracking, stumbling over each other in their haste to get away. They turned from an angry mob into a fleeing mob, and the result was pure chaos. Dust and sand flew everywhere, shouts of rage turned to shouts of terror, and the noise was deafening.
I was on my hands and knees, gasping as I tried to block out the pandemonium and focus on diminishing the fierce power inside me. Every muscle shook as the sounds and shouts got into my head, screaming danger and threats to the ones I loved. Every part of my being was begging me to let it go, to get rid of the peril, to save my friends ... my mother.
She was right there ... in my arms ... dying.
And I couldn't do a thing about it.
But I could save my friends. I could help them and protect them. If I could remove the heaving mass of guns and yelling, they would be safe.
"You have so much potential ... immense power that is inside you ...."
But something was pleading with me, desperate for me not to let it go. It was shouting for me to keep it in because keeping it in would save people. Letting it go would hurt them. It would only make it worse.
The dizziness was attempting to take over, trying to cloud my brain and knock me out cold. But I fought it, reduced to my elbows, head barely above the ground. I was hardly even aware of the real world, my mind almost completely taken up with the memories, the power, and the pain. If I succumbed to the darkness, I had no idea where the power would go. I couldn't risk it escaping.
By now, I was crunching my fists so hard that my mech hand was being crushed. It was make or break. I could let it all go and potentially blow up the entire ship, or I could keep it in and do who-knows-what to myself. It could kill me – but better me than them.
I didn't know if I had the strength to contain it. But I made up my mind.
With a final cry of agony, I snuffed the power, extinguishing it like a flame. Then I collapsed.
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Phew, that was intense! That was heaps of fun to write but super stressful! Poor Ani! Did he make the right choice in keeping it in? I mean, let's be honest with ourselves, he was hardly going to do anything else, being the sweetheart he is.
And he finally spilled to Obi-Wan about his mother! And then he regretted it no end and beat the living daylights out of himself! Oh, Ani!
I think we'll be switching to Obi-Wan chapter, just fyi. :) Thanks for reading and voting!