35: It's My Loyalty
a.n. // trigger warning
ALLISON
I wish I could go back to the time where the only thing I need to care about, is the school forums from the school's website.
Go back to the time when Phoenix was friends with me.
Perhaps, back to the time when Evan was alive.
Back to the time when everything was peaceful. But was it really? With the presence of gamechangers in my 8th grade, Asplund was never at peace from that moment on.
But my life was. I was fine with it. I only watched the war from afar, admiring the silence within my zone. Everyone else didn't matter for me anyway, knowing where we'd end up when we grow old.
Not until they decided to step into my zone.
Change was that thing that I hate and love at the same time. I hated it for changing the way I live now. I love it for changing my friends for the better.
Everything in my eyes appeared to be slow. As I approached the man who was the very root to all the change that happened to me, my eyes started flashing memories. The sight of Evan's deceiving smiles. The smell of rain pouring down the earth as I stare back at his tombstone. The sound of Alexid's scream while being cornered by Allan and his friends. The taste of my own blood spewing from the wounds on my face. The assuring touch of my friends when I began losing it.
My eyes were quick to spot his clenched fist, on its way to my jaw. Ducking my head, I raised my fist, pulling it up to meet his jaw. I succeeded, making him stumble back.
His eyes were still focused on me, while his fists were shaking, probably itching to draw the first blood between us. However, he tried using his feet to kick my shin, yet I was fast enough to block the kick, and landing a punch on the side of his face.
Our structured dance continued like this. The more I evade and return his attacks, the more I see his agitation. Eyes twitching, fingers shaking, while groaning in gritted teeth, getting a hold of himself.
I wanted to laugh, seeing myself in him when I met eyes with my father after long years of his disappearance.
Rage made him blind.
He then, tried to go forward and attack again. This time, he had seemed to relax as he was able to evade my attacks too, and even managed to land a punch on me.
I stumbled back, but didn't expect to fall on the ground from a strong force on my chest, as I heard leaves crunch at the impact. Even before I managed to get up, I felt his weight on my stomach, and the sudden lost of air as I felt his hands strangle my neck.
"T*ngina mo! Mamatay ka na, Carpio!" he yelled at me, followed by consecutive curses, he would tighten his hold every word he says.
Unfortunately for him, he wasn't informed that I am not one that panics in a hold like this. My free hand distinctly grabbed a fistful of his hair, pulling it towards me, and shoved my fingers onto both of his eyes.
He cried in pain, his hold loosening, but still kept his hands there. I was bombarded with more of his curses, my fingers almost deep on his eyeballs, until a kick on his shin got him off me.
I coughed, trying to catch air, as I felt someone behind me helped me sit.
"That sick bastard."
"I'm okay, Daryll." even with my eyes closed, I recognize the voice behind me.
The kick wasn't enough to put the leader of gamechangers down. He rose from the ground, his venomous eyes not leaving us two. But even before he managed to stand up straight, I heard a thud from his back when Daryll had lunged himself onto Dexter, and started giving him hard punches.
I looked around and saw everyone giving their all. Everyone's uniforms were already tainted with strains of blood and dirt, but no one seemed to care.
I suddenly smirked before I quickly turned around and seized the hand that was going to land on my head and gave a hard jaw punch on a henchman of Dexter who thinks now that it's a good idea to attack me as I stood there.
Landing another punch right on his right cheek, I didn't give him enough time to recover when I landed a hard kick on his toe, followed by a knee on his head, enough to make him lie down.
This time, I was the one who was not given to recover when an arm was tightly wrapped around my neck from behind, purposely dragging me backwards to never give me a chance to focus.
But I'm different today. Now, more than ever knowing I could finish this mess, this was my sole focus throughout the months. It was November 1st, a week before this day, was my last visit for Evan. I bought a basket of flowers and a bunch of snacks to spend time with him.
My sister calls me over dramatic for it, but I doubt it that she understood the feeling of loss. She never had lost someone that's significantly close to her. She never liked having friends anyway.
I told him all the adventures I've had with Royals. All the stuff we planned, all the stuff that I realized. Especially my new-found friendship with my group, and my sudden feeling of admiration towards Daryll.
My intention was never to apologize. It was for me to realize that all of this was possible because of him. Despite the growing feelings towards the other guy, Evan has a special place somewhere in me.
I would not call him a crush or a best friend, but rather a very significant person in my life.
I finally managed to stomp on his foot, prompting him to duck down, letting me throw the guy that was holding me in front, that turned out to be Dexter again. He managed to roll and avoid landing on his back, and quickly stood to charge me with his attacks.
It was evident from the strength and the speed of his punches that he was used to it. Phoenix's words suddenly rang in my head.
Mistreated.
I would lie if I tell myself that I didn't feel the pain on his punches. I could deflect it's way to my face, but not my arms that I use as defence. My skin felt burning, yet he continued like an angry ram.
If I were to believe the logic that Phoenix is able to be friends with him, then I could be friends with him. Come to think of it, we we're similarly at the same boat.
"I can feel how tired you are, Carpio." I heard him say under his breath, still going for it.
He was partially right.
"Aren't you, though?" and with that, we both stopped. My arms were still raised above my chest. He had the same position as me, but seconds later, stood erect, and chuckled.
I watched silently, as the man clutched his stomach, laughing as if I told him a ridiculous joke. I couldn't thrown him 'the look' but I kept still, watching his hands unfold a small knife that he had taken from his back pocket.
He suddenly went silent. His staring eyes boring into mine. I did not know what to get from the emotionless face he has shown. Not until he charged himself towards me, slightly startling the life out of me.
He yelped like a hungry dog, flailing his arms, hoping for the blade on his hand to land on my skin. I slightly struggled to defend myself. Fortunately as of today, I haven't worn my usual uniform, as I have a PE class later.
It took me a minute to realize that he wasn't going for any tactics against me. I noticed how we were far away from the position that we were standing on. I was forced to back away, as he slash the weapon right in front of me, and he isn't showing signs of stopping. Like he's driven to kill me.
The timing was lucky to get hold of his arm where he held his blade, and kick him where the sun doesn't shine. His face suddenly twisted, but was able to recover quicker that I expected, when he blocked my incoming punch, and kicked me on the stomach.
I stumbled back, gritted teeth to ease the pain. I didn't have the time to react, however, when I saw the shine of his blade towards my chest.
I stared at his flaming eyes directly. Inches away from my face. I can almost hear his ragged breathes, followed by a snigger.
A sudden, intense burning sensation got me looking at my hand.
Regret filled every space of my mind. My eyes started seeing fragments of the events at the Mariano mansion. The red liquid that stained my skin suddenly made me nauseous. Slowly, everything went black.
Several voices invaded my head.
The only thing that I heard clear was a man calling for my name. It wasn't a call for help. It was more of a command. As if this man was getting nearer, his voice got louder and louder.
***
"Allison!"
Binuksan ni Allison ang mata. Unang bumungad sa kanya ay ang galit na mukha ni Alexander. Bagama't malayo sa malinis ang bahay nila, walang bahid ng dumi ang puting pang-itaas nito. Mahaba ang suot na itim nitong pantalon, at walang suot na sapatos. Nakaupo ito para mai-lebel ang ulo sa babae.
"Sinabi mo ba kay Leopoldo kung na'san tayo?" bahagyang nangaralgal ang boses ng lalaki sa pagtatanong.
"Sino po ba 'yon? Kilala po ba siya ni Mama?"
Napapikit ang lalaki, na para bang nasaktan sa narinig na tanong. Kapansin-pansin ang pagkibot ng ulo nito.
"WAG MO SIYANG LALAPITAN!"
Parang kidlat ang naging sigaw ni Alexander. Napaatras agad si Allison, mangiyak-ngiyak na tinitigan ang lalaki na humahangos, na parang galing sa takbo. Dahan-dahang lumapit ang lalaki, hindi inaalis ang kakaibang tingin sa batang babae, hanggang sa maabot ng mga kamay nito ang pares ng balikat.
"Makinig ka sa'kin, magkakasama ulit tayo ni Amparo. Basta sumunod ka lang sa'kin. 'Wag kang papalinlang sa pamilya ni Amparo. Hindi nila tayo maiintindihan."
Ibinulong ng lalaki ang huling sinabi nito, na narinig pa rin ni Allison.
"Bakit 'di nila tayo maiintindihan?"
"Kasi iba ang alam nila sa alam natin. Naaalala mo yung sinasabi kong kasama ko, si Martin?" tumango-tango si Alexander, at ngumiti.
"Sinusundan nanaman niya ako, kaya hinahanap rin tayo ng mga Arguello! Gusto nila na sila ang humuli sa kanya." Lumingon sa tabi-tabi ang lalaki. "Sasaktan nanaman niya tayo, pero hindi tayo papatalo sa kanya, Alli."
Inilabas ng nanginginig na kamay ni Alexander ang matalim na kutsilyo mula sa bulsa. Parang babaligtad na ang sikmura ni Allison sa nakita, at alam na ang mga susunod na mangyayari.
Walang anu-ano'y dumanak ang dugo sa pulsuhan ni Alexander nang dumapo ang matalim na kutsilyo sa balat nito. Wala itong imik at sinundan lang ang dugo na dumaloy pababa sa braso nito.
Natigilan ito ng marinig ang mahinang pag-iyak. Lumingon ito sa bata't nahuli itong lumuluha na.
Para bang sinampal ito sa mukha nang mabilis pa sa bilis ng ilaw ang pagbabago ng ekspresyon nito. Nabitawan niya ang kutsilyo, at hinawakan muli ang bata sa mga balikat nito ng napakahigpit.
"ANONG SABI KO?! 'WAG KANG IIYAK!"
Baligtad ang naging epekto nito ng tuluyan na ngang umiyak si Allison, ibinubulong sa hangin ang paghingi ng tawad sa ama. Ngunit parang hindi man lang natinag ang lalaki, at mas lalong naging malalim ang paghinga nito't humigpit ang pagkakahawak sa braso nito na nagsisimula na nang magsugat.
Nanatiling nakayuko ang ulo ni Allison.
"Ang sabi ko, 'wag kang iiyak! Tingnan mo 'ko! Wala akong naramdaman, kaya kaya kong protektahan ang sarili ko kay Martin!" sigaw nito, ngunit mas kalmado na kaysa noong una.
"Wala namang Martin-"
"'WAG NA WAG KANG MANINIWALA SA KANILA!"
Nanaig muli ang sigaw ng lalaki sa tahimik na silid. Walang naisagot si Allison kung hindi hagulgol. Tinitigan niya ng saglit ang bata, hanggang sa pwersahang kunin ang isang kamay nito.
"'Wag kang iimik."
Matagal bago naramdaman ni Allison ang unti-unting paghapdi ng kamay niya. Kinagat agad nito ang labi, nakasara ang mga mata. Pilit na kinalkal ng bata ang isip kung paano ba mawawala ang sakit, na laging sinasabi ng lalaki. Ngunit, walang pumapasok sa isip nito dahil sa labis na sakit na dumaloy na sa buong braso nito.
Nanginig ang sugatang binti ng bata, at mas lumalim ang ngipin na nakabaon sa pang-ibabang labi. Nagsimula na ring mawala ang balanse ng katawan nito ng maramdaman na rin ang pagdapo ng kutsilyo sa kabilang kamay. Unti-unting nawala ang bigat ng katawan nito. Parang konting-konti na lang, ay lilipad na siya sa ere. Nawawala na ang reyalidad sa kanya.
Pero habang ang isip nito'y unti-unti nang lumilipad sa kawalan dahil sa sakit, dumating naman ang mga bulong nito sa tenga. Mga bulong ng mga taong kilala nito. Marami sila't halos wala siyang maintindihan dito.
Ngunit mas umusbong sa lahat ang boses ng kanyang ina. Ang boses na kasing-sarap kung pakinggan. Parang ang paborito niyang kanta. Ang mga salitang ibinabanggit nito sa kanya'y mga paalala. Mga paalalang dapat siyang lumaki na alam ang kabutihan.
Biglang bumukas ang mga mata niya't napokus sa kutsilyo na hawak ng ama. Walang ano-ano'y hinablot niya ito ng walang pasabi habang ang mga mata ng lalaki ay nasa sarili nitong kamay, parang tinitikman ang tumutulong dugo mula rito.
Mabagal ang paghugot ng tawa ng lalaki nang maramdaman ang matalim na bakal sa leeg nito, hindi pa rin naaalis ang mata nito sa sariling kamay.
"Papatayin mo 'ko, Allison?"
Napakahinang bulong ngunit parang isinigaw 'yon sa utak ni Allison para maalis siya sa lagay nitong parang nawala siya sa reyalidad. Tumagal ang katahimikan, mas naging malakas ang mga hinga ni Allison.
"Alli!"
Nawala ang mala itim at puting kulay sa kanyang paningin at naibalik ito sa kulay ng mga tuyong dahon sa paligid. Naging berde ang kaninang damit na pang-itaas ng kaharap nito. Wala na ang kaninang mata ni Alexander.
Doon pa lang niya napagtanto na si Dexter na ulit ang kaharap nito.
Pero ang mas ikinagulat niya, ay hawak pa rin niya ang kutsilyong nakatutok sa leeg ni Dexter. Bahagyang bumalot ang takot sa itsura ng lalaki. Nakadagan siya sa katawan nito't parehas nang puno ng dumi ang kanilang damit.
Paglingon nito sa likuran, bumungad sa kanya ang iilang mga pamilyar na mukha sa kanya na mukhang kadarating lang sa eksena. Nandoon si Dean Mendez, Phoenix, March, Aira, Leslie, at dalawang bodyguard nito na naka-unipormeng maroon.
Walang ano-ano'y bigla nitong nabitawan ang hawak na kutsilyo, at tumayo, at ito ang kinuhang pagkakataon ni Dexter para umurong palayo, nanginginig na pinagmasdan ang babae.
"W-Wait, what did you-"
"My goodness! Ano bang kaguluhan 'to?!" bago pa makumpleto ni Daryll ang tanong nito, agad umalingawngaw ang sigaw ni Dean Mendez. Sinuri nito ang buong paligid, lalo na ang mga tao- mga estudyante nitong puno na ang dugo't dumi ang katawan. Napako ang tingin nito kay Enrico na nakapokus ang tingin kay Allison.
"Alam kong maraming nagyayari sa eskwelahanna ito na hindi katanggap-tanggap pero... grabe ito! Lahat ng may kinalaman dito-"
"Please don't expel them."
Agad natuon ang atensyon ng matanda kay Allison. Pagod ang mga mata nitong tingnan siya. "They didn't want this, but I asked for help. I'll gladly take the responsibility. Let them move up."
Walang naisagot si Dean Mendez, gulat dahil sa pagsumamo nitong hindi pa niya kailanman narinig sa babae.
"Give them suspensions, but please don't let them lose the chance of moving up. I'll gladly drop out and be imprisoned, if that's what it takes."
"Allison, why?!" kahit pa ramdam pa rin nito ang presensya ni Dean Mendez, ay hindi napigilang mapasigaw ni Phoenix.
Panandaliang lumapat ang mga mata ni Allison kay Phoenix. "It's my loyalty."
Dahan-dahan siyang tumalikod. "Take me out."
Ilang segundo ang katahimikan bago nakita ni Leslie na mabilisang may kinuha ang bodyguard sa bulsa nito na parang maliit na baril at itinutok iyon sa babaeng nakatalikod.
"Wag-"
Pero nahuli na ito nang kalbitin ng bodyguard ang gatilyo ng nasabing baril. Walang malakas na tunog na umalingawngaw ng gawin niya ito.
Napanood na lang ng lahat paano dahan-dahang bumagsak sa lupa si Allison, wala nang malay. Mas tumahimik ang kaninang atmospera sa pagkawala ng malay ni Allison. Iyon na nga ang isang senyales, na tapos na ang labanan.
Ngunit parang walang nanalo sa pagkakataon na 'yon.
Parang nanigas si Dexter sa posisyon, naka-upo pa rin sa lupa, ang mga mata'y nakapokus sa babae. Kita ang takot nito sa mabibigat nitong paghinga.
ALEXID
Hindi ko alam na sa simpleng 'pagligtas' sa'kin ni Allison noon sa bathroom would lead us to this.
Dramatic, but true.
All I know before is, Dexter is an arrogant brat. Mayaman, at ginagamit ang power na meron siya to bully students, which is true. However, this was not only the case.
Sumira siya ng buhay. Buhay ni Evan, at ni Thea.
Walang nakapag-sabi sa'min na ganoon pala ang mangyayari. Nakitanga namin na naglabas na ng kutsilyo si Dexter, pero what surprised us was Allison's sudden rage.
Aaminin kong wala lagi ang mga mata ko sa kanya. I was focused on Danielle and some of Dexter's frat members. Buti na lang, wala akong naging injury at ang usual lang na bugbog ang mga natamo ko.
Pero hindi ganoon ang nangyari kay Alli.
Si Daryll ang tanging taong nakakita sa buong pangyayari. Nakita niya kung pa'no natamaan ng kutsilyo ang palad ni Allison. Tiningnan niya ito na para bang gulat. Doon na nanginig ang kamay nito, at bigla na lang dinakmal sa leeg si Dexter!
Parehas silang nahulog sa lupa. Nakadagan si Allison sa kanya, mahigpit ang pagkakahawak sa leeg niya. Nanlalaki ang mga mata nitong tiningnan ang lalaki sa ibaba nito, maglangit ang mga ngipin, at pansin ang mabibigat niyang paghinga.
Dexter started squirming to her hold. Kapansin-pansin na ang pamumula ng leeg nito, at gaya ni Allison ay magngalit na rin ang mga ngipin. Napansin na rin ni Daryll ang mga daing ni Allison na parang may kinakausap na mukhang hindi naman si Dexter.
Saktong nakita niyang tumakbo si Crisanto sa direksyon kung na'san si Allison. Agad siyang sumaklolo at tinabig ni Daryll ang maliit niyang katawan palayo sa kanila. Agad nitong ipinokus ang tingin kay Allison at hinawakan ang dalawang braso at hinila patayo, palayo sa katawan ni Dexter.
She resisted to his hold, squirming, punching her way out of him. When he released her, a sudden force on his jaw made him stumble back. What shocked him however, that it was Allison who had punched him.
Daryll had stared at her for a few seconds. And according to him, at that moment, he had thought that he wasn't staring at Allison at all.
Her eyes were bloodshot, brows slanted, and her breathing ragged. Her head twitching every few seconds, and she was whispering, taunting, talking as if someone was in front of him.
It did not last, when he heard her mutter a cry. Dexter came back to vision, behind her. The girl slowly turned around, and in Daryll's horror, there was a wound bleeding on her right shoulder. He could see Dexter's knife smeared with blood.
He wanted to run towards her, but only Crisanto had managed to jump behind him and strangle him from behind with his toned arms. He managed to hear Dexter's curses, presumably resuming their fight.
Pero nakuha nga niyang patumbahin si Crisanto, sa saktong oras na nakadagan nanaman nga muli si Allison kay Dexter, pero ngayon, siya na ang may hawak ng kutsilyo, at nakatutok iyon sa mismong dibdib ng lalaki.
"F*ck it." rinig ko ang mahinang bulong na 'yon ni Daryll habang nakaupo sa kaharap kong sofa na nasa tabi ng table ni Dean Mendez. Nakatakip ang mga kamay nito sa mukha.
Walang makapagsalita sa'ming lahat. Katabi ni Daryll si Enrico at si Cosine, habang magkakatabi kami nina March at Aira sa kabila. The cold air of the Dean's office didn't quite help. Halos hindi ko na nga rin maramdaman ang mga sugat ko. It had turned quite numb.
Hindi ko alam 'san nila dinala si Allison matapos mabaril ng... tranquilizer gun, as Leslie told us. Agad rumisponde sa kanya ang dalawang 'guwardiya' ni Leslie at dali-daling dinala sa kung saan. Naiwan 'don si Leslie, looking down with a worried look on her face.
Hindi ko na siya nakausap dahil dumating ang ibang staff ng school para ma-assist kami. Even other SSG officers were shocked on our condition. But even with that, tinadtad nila kami ng tanong. No one replied. No one had the voice to.
Noong una, lahat kami pinapasok sa loob ng office ni Dean, not even bothering to let us change. He was fuming mad when he entered. Para bang sasabog yung ulo niya any minute sa sobrang pula nito. Nahalata kong paminsan-minsan itong sumusulyap kay Enrico, pero hindi niya nakuha ang atensyon nito.
Pinagalitan kami, and announced that everyone who was involved are suspended until further notice. And in his surprise, walang umapela.
Only if you count the gamechanger's moans from hearing that the Dean will be sending notice letters/email to our parents. Pinalabas ang lahat ng miyembro ng gamechangers to change.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit wala akong naramdaman doon. Hindi ako natakot. Mas inisip ako kung 'san ba dinala si Allison, dahil siya lang ang wala sa office.
"I would suggest... to give Allison some space after this. I know you are all concerned, but she would need some rest."
Lahat kami ay napatingin kay Dean, matapos nitong basagin ang mahabang katahimikan. Gone was the rage. Ngayon ay malumanay na ang mukha nito.
The only person who wasn't shocked about it other than the Dean himself is... Phoenix. I glanced at her and caught her biting her lip, as if she wanted to say something. Eventually, they let us off after that. Wala rin naman kaming naisagot, pero alam ko na lahat kami ay naiwang nagtataka.
Kaya noong lumabas kami, ay agad kong pinigilan si Phoenix na makalayo sa'min.
"May hindi ka ba sinasabi sa'min, Phoenix?"
Bumuntong-hininga si Phoenix. "Walang sinasabi sa inyo si Allison, I guess."
"Anong-"
"She's not okay." rinig ko agad ang yapak ng ibang kasama ko na lumapit sa'kin. "She has... PSTD. She becomes aggressive whenever she gets flashbacks of trauma."
Para bang sa mga oras na 'yon, nasuntok kaming lahat sa mukha ni Phoenix. I never bothered asking her how was her life, not knowing what her reactions would've been. Natakot kami masyado. We could've helped her. We could've...
"You don't need to be sad about it." Napaiwas si Phoenix ng tingin na para bang nakakasilaw akong tingnan.
"The only people that knows about it is her family, the clan, and the Dean. Narinig ko lang by accident ang tungkol 'don, which forced her to tell me about it, but I still don't know much, and it's not my story to tell."
"Alam mo ba na'san siya at this time?"
"I have an idea, but I'm not entirely sure. Leslie, her cousin, is your go-to girl for that." pagkatapos noon, iniwan na niya kami at tumungo sa direksyon papunta sa canteen. Kilala rin pala niya si Leslie, then?
Tahimik naming tinungo ang direksyon ng lockers para kunin ang mga damit pamalit sa mga suot namin. I can't help but stop to think, kahit pa nakakapagod.
It's Allison now that needs saving.