I lost, Hisana. I lost, and I am lost. I fought with all I had for everything I believed was right, even when my heart screamed otherwise. I walked past her when they put her on the execution stand, not sparing one glance. I fought with my own emotions, I fought with Renji, I fought that human boy Kurosaki. They gave every drop of their blood and their last ounce of strength to save her, and I forced myself to do the opposite.
Why… why could I not save her, the girl for whom I broke laws and protocols and customs for over 50 years, whom I vowed to protect with all my strength, why did I stand by when they sentenced her, when they strung her up and crucified her…When strangers were willing to die over and over again for her, why could I not do more for her… That boy Kurosaki said he would fight the law, in my position. In my position… I would have scoffed at that earlier, but now… The futility and pointlessness of everything around me now is staggering.
I find that everything in life is a choice. And I chose wrong. Nothing is black and white. The law is not always the last word. Punishment is not always justice. Sentences are not always fair. And I, as a brother, I should have been there for her instead of leaving her to the system.
My sword is destroyed. I gave my word that I would not pursue Rukia or her saviors any more. Perchance there is something more that I can do in this situation, but I cannot decide on a course of action other than to stay out of the way. I am so tired, my love…I know I do not deserve the title of elder brother. I –
Ah. I hear the Tenteikura. Squad 4 Captain has an announcement. I wonder if Rukia –