During the next couple of days the two males started to get to know each other. Secretly of course but still. Hyungwon noticed so many little things about Hoseok he hadn't noticed before. And he loved every single detail about the older. The way Hoseok scrunched his nose when he laughed, the way his voice always climbed a few octaves when he was laughing hard, the sparkles in his deep brown eyes that always appeared when he looked at Hyungwon.
Everytime Hoseok looked at him, he felt a warm feeling in his stomach. And his mood also went up whenever the older crossed his visual field. He was just plain happy. Even the little things they shared like looks or little touches, unseen by others or just strolling by the each other, letting the other smell the other. Things Hyungwon never noticed before, now made him happy within seconds.
Now was Friday and Hyungwon was on his way out of the school. He was in a rush and so smoothly passed by the other kids. He left the school through the backdoor and stood on the parking lot for the teachers. He ignored the cars and just made his way through it when suddenly a black car stopped right in front of him. The driver leaned over to the passenger seat and smiled at him. It was Hoseok.
"Hop in! I'll take you home."
As much as he would've wanted to get into that car, Hyungwon couldn't. He shook his head and watched the big smile disappear from Hoseok's beautiful face.
"I'm sorry. I can't. I need to... visit someone."
"Someone?"
Hoseok's voice was questioning everything in Hyungwon's sentence. The boy just nodded and started walking again. But Hoseok didn't gave up and just let the car roll next to Hyungwon so that he still could talk to him.
"Then at least let me drive you their."
Hyungwon stopped and looked over to Hoseok.
"You won't give up, right?"
Hoseok grinned and nodded. The boy sighed and finally opened the door and let him self sink into the comfortable seat. Hoseok placed his hand on his knee and softly squeezed it.
"So, in which direction?"
Hyungwon pointed towards it and Hoseok started the engine again, following Hyungwon's informations. A little bit later they stood at the parking lot of the hospital in which Hyungwon's mom was laying. Hoseok turned off the car and looked over to the boy. Hyungwon was stiff as a statue. He faced the building with more fear on his face then Hoseok had ever seen on him. He softly placed a hand on Hyungwon's shoulder.
"Hey... are you ok?"
But his voice didn't reached the younger. He just opened his seat belt and got out of the car. Hoseok followed him, his worries increasing with every step they took towards the building. When they arrived at the front door, Hyungwon stopped and closed his eyes for a second, trying to build up courage to enter the hospital. Suddenly he felt a warm hand reaching out for him and entangled their fingers.
He looked up and into Hoseok's face. He had a little warm smile on his lips and Hyungwon gently squeezed his hand before taking a deep breath and entering the hospital. They walked through a big, bright entrance hall and stopped in front of the elevators on the facing wall. Hoseok waited till the elevator doors closed before he wrapped his arms around the boy.
"I'm by your side. Whatever it is you're so afraid of, I'm with you. I'll protect you."
Hyungwon looked up and cupped the older's face with his hands before softly placing his lips on Hoseok's.
"Thank you. But I don't think you can ever protect me from this..."
The doors opened again and the two stepped out into a typical hospital hallway. Nurses and doctors ran around, patients walked out of their rooms to get some distractions or to send their family off. Hyungwon stiffened again and just started walking towards the end of the hallway, where a big glass door led to another part of the section. Above the door was a big sign with only one word in it.
ICU
Hoseok needed a few moments to realise what he'd just read. What does Hyungwon want here? The boy waited in front of the door and looked back at Hoseok, who stood behind him. Hoseok nodded to reassure him that he was still their and when the door opened they walked in together. The nurse who had opened the door for them smiled brightly at Hyungwon.
"Oh Hyungwon, it's so good to see you. Your mom will be so happy that you're visiting her. Come!"
The nurse led them to a room at the end of the hallway and Hyungwon slowly opened the door. His mom was laying in the same bed as a few days ago. Still connected to the ventilator machine. Still unconscious. And still pale. He turned around to the nurse, who was now standing next to the countless machines, checking if everything was alright.
"Where their any improvements? Did she wake up at any time?"
The nurse just shook her head and placed a hand on Hyungwon's shoulder. Seeing this, Hoseok took a step forward so that he was standing right next to the boy.
"Sadly not. We still don't know what's wrong with her. And if we don't know it, we can't help her. We tried everything but nothing worked."
Hyungwon turned around to the bed and took the pale hand of his mother, softly stroking over the cold skin. The nurse left the room and left the two males behind. Hoseok placed his hands on Hyungwon's shoulders and softly pulled his back close to his chest.
"Is that the reason why you wouldn't want to get into the car earlier?"
Hyungwon nodded lightly, focused on his mom as if he would expect her to wake up anytime.
"Since when is she sick?"
Hyungwon sighed and let himself fall against Hoseok's chest a little.
"Since two months. It started with a simple cold but soon started to increase and she once almost fainted from a coughing attack. I took her to the hospital and since then she's here. A few weeks ago, they called me and told me that she would've been transferred to the ICU, since her condition was only getting worse. They really tried everything but at the end they had no other option then to connect her to the ventilator machine. Most of the time she's unconscious. Thank god. I don't want her to see what happens with her."
Hyungwon finally turned around and hugged the older. He held onto him as if he would've drown anytime soon and his thin body started to shiver. Hoseok softly wrapped his arms around him and stroked his hair, while whispering calming words into his ear. His eyes laid onto the unconscious pale woman on the bed, her chest moving up and down, following the rhythm of the machine that kept her alive.
-
None of them realised how long they actually sat in that room with all the machines but after some time, the door opened and the doctor came in. Hyungwon, who hadn't said a word in forever, jumped out of his seat and started to questioning the doctor.
"Oh doctor. I'm glad you're here. What's about my mother? Will she get better soon?"
The man in the white coat checked the machines and then turned around to the tall boy. His facial expressions said everything but Hyungwon didn't noticed. Hoseok did and walked up to him, always ready to catch Hyungwon.
"I'm really sorry Hyungwon. We don't know what's wrong with your mom and actually we don't have anything left we could try out. I don't know how long we can keep her alive. It's up to her. I'm truly sorry."
The doctor looked at Hoseok, who now placed his hands on the younger's shoulders.
"Are you his guardian?"
Hoseok nodded.
"Kind off, yes. I'm Mr. Lee."
The shook hands before the doctor started to talk again.
"Good, so I think it's about time to think about turning off the machines. We don't know the cause for her illness and it would only be torture to keep her alive longer than necessary. Please, take your time thinking about it. I know it's not an easy decision but we need to make it. I'll leave you alone now. And again, I'm really truly sorry, Hyungwon. I wished we could've helped your mother."
He softly patted Hyungwon's shoulder and gave him a sad smile before he left the room. Hyungwon just stood there and stared into the room. Hoseok carefully wrapped his arms around him and pressed him against his chest. And then suddenly the boy began to shiver and slowly started to realise what the doctor had just said. He broke down in Hoseok's arms and started crying like he'd never had before. And Hoseok couldn't do anything but holding him. Enough for the boy, too little for him.
Hours passed by until Hyungwon slowly calmed down. He was now sitting on Hoseok's lap, still clinching on his shirt. The older still had his arms wrapped around him, giving him the security he needed now more than ever.
"See? That's why I didn't want to tell you about this. You already have enough problems on your own. I don't want to be another problem for you."
Hoseok's eyes widened in surprise.
"Are you crazy? How could you ever think that you're a problem for me? I love you and I will try to help you in every possible way. But most importantly, I won't leave you alone. Never."
He wiped away a tear that rolled down Hyungwon's cheek and slowly leaned closer to him until their lips touched. It was a soft kiss. A gentle promise that he would never leave his side. Hyungwon closed his eyes and allowed Hoseok's tounge to enter his mouth. He deepened the kiss and really tasted Hoseok for the first time.
"I love you, Hoseok. But I'm still sorry for putting you through this. I really appreciate that you want to stay by my side and I don't know what I have done to deserve this."
Hoseok smiled at the boy and softly cupped his face.
"Don't question it. Just believe it. I'm all yours, baby."