Dimitri:
"I don't have those answers Dimitri" Byleth sighs "I can't tell you what to live for, it's something you must decide on you own" she said then walked away leaving Dimitri in the rain to mule over these words.
Dimitri wanted to be angry.
But all he felt was sorrow.
Sorrow at all the pain he'd caused them, how patient Byleth and Claude had been with him. While Dimitri lashed out on them at every turn until their patience wore thin.
He broke them.
Their spirits.
And it took Rodrigue's death for Dimitri to finally see that.
No, to it took Rodrigue's death to actually care about that.
But... how?
Dimitri can't even decide on a reason to keep living, if not for the dead.
Can Dimitri even redeem himself after everything that he has done to them?
Does he deserve redemption?
Dimitri looks to the spot that Byleth had stood at, and feels an emptiness growing within.
For the first time Dimitri doesn't retreat to the cathedral.
Glenn is following him shouting obscene vulgar things, but Dimitri doesn't listen to it at the moment, he needs to decide if the path of avenging the dead is one, he wants to continue embarking on.
Dimitri finds himself at his old room, it's bare and incredibly dusty but that doesn't matter.
What do I live for?
The question burns through his mind.
Years ago, when Dimitri was a naive student at the officer's academy, he had yelled at Byleth about finding another way for things rather than resorting to killing, just as she had mentioned before. With this war... Is that even a possibility?
Can Dimitri really do that to them?
To the dead?
He owes them Edelgard's head.
Yes, Dimitri knows that but maybe that's what he could live for.
But in doing that...
The dead wouldn't get their tribute.
The room is silent, and Dimitri lies down on his bed then slowly drifts to sleep.
Dimitri woke up to the light shining directly on his face through the window, what happened to the curtains that covered it?
That doesn't really matter, Dimitri rose from the bed. When was the last time he'd slept in a bed?
Since the officer's academy?
No use really dwelling on it Dimitri thought then left from his room.
"Your Highness?" a voice called out, Dimitri turned, it was Sylvain "Wow, I didn't expect you to be sleeping in your room again" he said "I guess Gronder really took it out of everyone" he added.
Dimitri stood there silently for a moment; how could Sylvain treat him with... With such normalcy as if Dimitri hadn't been treating him, no treating all of them as if they were nothing more than dirt on his boot.
"I guess so..." Dimitri said softly, he didn't meet Sylvain's eyes.
Sylvain walked over to him and Dimitri felt his arm rest on Dimitri's shoulder, "Come on, let's go get some food" he said "I'm starving" he added and turned to lead the way. Dimitri follows him silently to the dining hall.
The people who linger the halls of the monastery stare as the Prince follows closely behind Sylvain.
"Show them the beast that you are" Glenn hissed in Dimitri's ear.
Dimitri clenched his fists, no.
He couldn't give into Glenn, not until he knows.
"Heh, as expected Ingrid's already here" Sylvain said as they entered the dining hall, Ingrid looked at Sylvain with big eyes once she'd seen Dimitri following him. They grabbed their food and sat down with her at the table.
"I- It's good to see you out with us your Highness" Ingrid said in a hesitant voice, Dimitri understood her apprehension towards his presence but before Dimitri could try to leave Sylvain spoke up.
"Any new on Felix?" Sylvain asked.
Felix? what happened to Felix?
Ingrid sighed and shook her head, "He is still unconscious" she said "The healers expect him to recover, but we just need to wait until he wakes up, and there is also..." she said but trails off.
"Rodrigue's death" Dimitri whispers, Ingrid nods "I will be the one to tell him, it's my fault" he began but was cut off.
"Uh- no offense your highness but that's a horrible idea" Sylvain begins "Especially if you phrase it like that, injured or not Felix will end you on the spot" he adds.
Ingrid lets out a snort, "Sylvain is right your Highness" she said as she regains her composure.
Dimitri nods, "Thank you" he said softly, the guilt he feels is overwhelming. He treated them so horribly and for them to still treat him this way... "I'm sorry" Dimitri blurts out, Ingrid and Sylvain look at him in shock, "For everything, I'm truly sorry I know I do not deserve your forgiveness all I hope is that one day I can prove to be worthy of it" he said.
Ingrid and Sylvain are silent for a moment, "Does that mean that you aren't fighting to avenge the dead anymore then?" Sylvain asks.
"I- I do not know" Dimitri confessed, "Rodrigue, he told me to live for what I believe in" he said "And Byleth told me the same thing, but... If not for them then for what?" he whispered.
"Um- forgive me your Highness if this comes off as rude but..." Ingrid began to say "You cannot come to us for an answer for this, it's something each person must decide, their own path whether it's to follow the standards of what's expected of them or voyage from that and make your own" she said, "We cannot tell you what to live for" she concluded.
Sylvain rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, what she said" he said with a laugh.
"Thank you, both of you" Dimitri said softly.
"You know I'm a little surprised Byleth spoke with you" Ingrid said, "I saw here earlier today and tried to speak with her, but I was unable to" she added.
Sylvain tilted his head, "What do you mean unable to?" he asked.
Ingrid shifted uncomfortably for a moment, "Well when I tried to talk to Byleth she told me that she wasn't able to talk with me at the moment that she had more pressing issues at the moment" Ingrid said.
"Huh, that's a little odd" Sylvain said, "I think we should go and see what's up" he added.
Ingrid looked hesitant, "I don't know Sylvain, it might not be a good time"
Sylvain shrugged then stood up, "Eh, I'm sure it'll be fine" he said "Now come on the both of you" he said sternly while looking directly at Dimitri.
Ingrid and Dimitri followed silently behind Sylvain as they made their way through the monastery looking for Byleth, after asking around Sylvain found out that she was in the Cardinals room.
"Hmm, I wonder if there having a strategy meeting" Sylvain said.
Ingrid nodded, "It's possible, maybe it's in regard to the Kingdom troops re- joining?" Ingrid suggested.
Sylvain shook his head, "Nah I don't think so otherwise Dimitri here would be with them" he said.
"Maybe they just didn't want me in there" Dimitri says quietly.
Sylvain frowns a little, "I don't think that's the case" he sighs, "Anyways well find out soon enough" he adds.
The three of them stood outside of the Cardinals room, Dimitri's mind was racing with the possibilities of what was going on inside. Ingrid and Sylvain entered the room, and Dimitri followed.
To his surprise there was really no one in there aside from Byleth and Hilda sitting at the table, they seem to be discussing something but stop once they realize they have company.
"Hey there pretty ladies" Sylvain said as he walks towards them and takes a seat next to them.
"Sylvain now is not a good time" Byleth said in a serious tone, Dimitri looked at her, she had bags under her eyes and her jaw was tensed. Did she sleep? "We have work that needs to get done" she added.
Sylvain squinted at her, "Jesh Byleth have you gotten any sleep?" he asked "What is it that you need done maybe we can help, so you can get rest" he added.
Byleth shook her head, "That's not necessary" she said "It's not something that you need to do" she added.
"What Byleth means to say is we already have it under control" Hilda butted in.
"Have what under control?" Ingrid asked.
Byleth sighed, "We need to leave for the Alliance Capital Derdriu" she said, "Judith sent Claude a message that Imperial troop snuck into Alliance territory while we were fighting at Gronder" she added.
"We'll fight with you" Dimitri declared, Byleth glared at him and Dimitri immediately regretted saying that.
"No" Byleth said bluntly, "This doesn't involve the Kingdom army" she added.
"We don't need to involve it as the Kingdom army, it could just be Ingrid, Sylvain, and I" Dimitri said.
Byleth shook her head, "No, I've already decided who is going" she said firmly and stood up from her seat "It's best we don't work with each other" she added then headed towards the exit and left the room.
Hilda let out a sigh and stood up from her chair, "I wouldn't take it personal" Hilda said "She's had a rough night" she added then left from the room to follow after Byleth.
Dimitri's stomach churned, he's really screwed up.
Byleth:
Preparing forces to leave for Derdriu was near complete, Byleth had picked a team consisting of Bernadetta, Caspar, Hilda, Linhardt, Lorenz, Lysithea, Marianne, Yuri, and Byleth herself.
She felt a little guilty about making them leave so soon after Gronder Field since almost all of them except Linhardt had fought the other day, sure they had most likely been healed and were ready to go but... Byleth still felt like she might be pushing them a little too hard.
Not that it mattered at the moment, since it was urgent for them to leave for Derdriu, but the guilt remained.
What bothered Byleth most of all was the whole Edelgard thing, what if it comes to the point that there really is no other way aside from...
Ugh, no.
Byleth couldn't think like that anymore, those thoughts had already managed to keep her awake throughout the night, and she needs to focus now.
Byleth averted her attention back to the people sitting around her, they were in the Cardinal's room. She had managed to gather them all early in the morning to tell them how Claude requested that they leave for the Aquatic Capital immediately.
Overall, most people were compliant.
"Do I have to go Byleth?" Linhardt asked.
Byleth suppressed her urge to groan at him, "Linhardt, you were already exempt from the last battle" she said "We need your help out there" she added.
"Why not just use Kingdom soldiers instead of me?" Linhardt suggested.
Before Byleth could reply Lorenz butted in, "That is unwise" he said "And would look poorly on part of the Alliance if we were to have their aid" he said "Either way, we don't even know whether they are re- joining our military forces so fighting with them is unwise" Lorenz concluded.
Byleth nodded in agreement, "He's right" she said "Anyways you guys should go and start preparing to your provisions, we leave at noon" Byleth added.
Slowly everyone left from the Cardinal's room until it was just Byleth and Hilda left.
Hilda was staring at Byleth for a few moments, "Ok I can't take it anymore I need to know what happened after Gronder Field" Hilda said breaking the silence "The secrecy is eating me up, please just tell me" she asked.
Byleth nodded, "Yeah ok" she sighed "Well to start off there was this girl that attempted to assassinate Dimitri" she began "Rodrigue shouted at me to take her out so I did" she added. Oh, crap Rodrigue, whatever did happen to him, she wondered. "Anyways I saw an Imperial soldier in the distance, so I charged at him, but he was unarmed and gave me a note" Byleth said.
Hilda's eyebrows furrowed, "What did the note say?" she asked.
"It said Aegir Estate" Byleth replied.
Hilda frowned "Byleth please tell me you did not go there" Hilda said in a serious tone, Byleth remained silent. "You dummy, what if something happened" Hilda scolded.
"I know, I know" Byleth sighed, "It really wasn't smart on my part" she said while rubbing her forehead "But I had to know if it was her" she added.
Hilda was silent for a moment, "Was it Edelgard?" she finally asked.
Byleth nodded, "Yeah it was her" she said softly.
"What happened?" Hilda asked.
Byleth shook her head, "I wasn't able to convince her Hilda" Byleth said "I failed" she choked out.
Hilda's hand came to rest on top of Byleth's shoulder, "Listen Byleth" Hilda began "You can't beat yourself up over this, it's not like this was your only chance to get Edelgard to our side" she added.
"I know but..." Byleth began but stopped once the doors to the Cardinal's room swung open and Sylvain and Ingrid stepped inside followed by Dimitri moments later.
Byleth's mouth grew dry, he was the last person she needed to see right now.
"We'll talk about this later" Hilda whispered, and Byleth nodded.
"Hey there pretty ladies" Sylvain said in an obnoxious tone as he drew close to Byleth and Hilda then taking a seat beside them.
While Byleth was glad to see Sylvain and Ingrid, she wasn't in the mood for it "Sylvain now is not a good time" Byleth said in a serious tone, she felt the eyes of her former companions observing her "We have work that needs to get done" she added.
Sylvain squinted his eyes at her, "Jesh Byleth, have you gotten any sleep?" Sylvain asked "What is it that you need done maybe we can help, so you can get rest" he added.
Byleth shook her head, "That's not necessary" she said "It's not something that you need to do" she added. Byleth appreciated the gesture of Sylvain trying to help but as Lorenz had said earlier it would be smarter for the Alliance and Kingdom to remain separate.
"What Byleth means to say is we already have it under control" Hilda butted in.
"Have what under control?" Ingrid asked.
Well so much for keeping this mission a secret Byleth thought.
Byleth sighed, "We need to leave for the Alliance Capital Derdriu" she said, "Judith sent Claude a message that Imperial troop snuck into Alliance territory while we were fighting at Gronder" she added.
"We'll fight with you" Dimitri declared, Byleth looked up and glared at Dimitri.
The last thing they needed at Derdriu was Dimitri. "No" Byleth said bluntly, "This doesn't involve the Kingdom army" she added.
"We don't need to involve it as the Kingdom army, it could just be Ingrid, Sylvain, and I" Dimitri said.
Byleth shook her head, "No, I've already decided who is going" she said firmly and stood up from her seat "It's best we don't work with each other" she added then headed towards the exit and left the room.
Byleth stood out there for a moment, she just couldn't be in that room not with him in there. She has things to do now isn't the time to focus on that like everyone else Byleth needs to get her stuff ready to leave for Derdriu.
Byleth was climbing down the stairs that led to the quarters on the first floor when she heard Hilda shouting Byleth's name at the top of her lungs. Dammit, she's in for it now maybe if Byleth is quick enough she could make it to her room without Hilda seeing?
"There you are" Hilda proclaims as she starts descending the stairs, and like that Byleth's plan to hide was destroyed. "So why exactly do you not want their help?" Hilda asked.
Byleth stopped climbing down, "Hilda we don't need it" she said in a serious tone.
Hilda shook her head, "I think it's more than just that Byleth" she said in a concerned voice, "What's wrong?" she asked.
Byleth looked down at the stairs, "I- I don't want to talk about this here" she said in a soft voice "Let's go to my room" she added. Hilda nodded then followed Byleth down the stairs then to her room.
Once in the safety of Byleth's room Hilda crosses her arms, "Ok Byleth" she begins "Tell me what's wrong?" she asked
Byleth stood there silently for a moment preparing herself to tell Hilda that she's upset that she witnessed Claude and Lysithea's deaths at the hands of Dimitri when that never happened in this reality.
"Byleth?" Hilda said softly.
"You know how I infused with the goddess" Byleth stated.
Hilda blinked slowly and nodded, "Yes" she said with a small laugh "I recall" she added.
"Sothis, when we joined together, I inherited a power from her" Byleth began "She gave the power to reverse time" she said.
Hilda stood there dumb struck, "Wait what?" she said wide eyed "I'm confused how this is a bad thing unless..." she said and trailed off for a moment "Did you witness something bad and change it?" she asked quietly.
Byleth nodded, her eyes were burning "Yeah... I saw Dimitri brutally murder Claude and Lysithea" she choked out, "I know Dimitri now didn't do it but... When I look at him, I just can't stop imagining it" she whimpered.
Hilda's arms wrapped around Byleth's shoulders, "Oh Byleth" she said softly while patting her hair.
"I know he didn't do those things but..." Byleth began "I just can't stop thinking of how close he was to becoming that version of himself" she whispered "If we'd gone left instead of right... Claude and Lysithea they'd be dead"
"I understand why it's hard sweetie" Hilda said in a soft voice, "But he also isn't aware that he did those things" she added "I not saying to forgive him for this... But maybe view it as you saving Dimitri from becoming the worst possible version of himself" Hilda said.
Byleth pulled away from the hug, "Saving him?" she repeated.
Hilda nodded, "If you weren't able to use that power Dimitri would have killed them, and who knows where or what he'd be at the moment" she said "But earlier in the Cardinal's room, that was the most lucid I've seen Dimitri in a while" she added then paused for a moment, "Which given the circumstances, is a pretty good thing" Hilda said.
Byleth tilted her head in confusion, "What do you mean given the circumstances?" she asked.
"You haven't heard?" Hilda asked wide eyed "Lord Rodrigue died, Claude found Dimitri clinging to his corpse" she said.
Byleth's stomach fell, Rodrigue is dead? Guilt washed over her if she hadn't run after that soldier than maybe she could have healed him. How could she have overlooked the possibility that Rodrigue had been gravely injured.
Not only did she fail Edelgard, but she failed Rodrigue as well.
"I- I didn't know he died" Byleth whispered, "Felix, does he know?" she asked.
"I don't think so, last I heard he was still unconscious" Hilda replied.
Byleth was silent for a few minutes, she had completely forgot that Felix had been knocked out by Lysithea's miasma ball during the fighting.
He doesn't know his Father is dead.
Byleth clears her throat, "Thanks for listening to me" she said softly to Hilda "Anyways you should probably get your stuff ready for Derdriu" she added.
Hilda nodded and turned to leave from her room but stopped at the doorway, "I don't think you should forgive and forget" Hilda began "But you also can't lash out on Dimitri for something he doesn't know" she said softly "Remember that you saved them from that fate Byleth, so don't beat yourself up so much" she added then left from Byleth's room.
That's easier said than done Byleth thought.
Byleth sighed and began getting her things ready, once finished she began heading to the stables it was drawing close to their leaving time.
By the time she arrives to the stables there are already a few other people there, Byleth begins preparing her horse for the journey and listening to the gossip that fills the air.
"I heard that Prince Dimitri has been making his rounds apologizing to everyone for his behavior" Lysithea said to Lorenz.
"Ah yes he has" Lorenz said "In fact he apologized to me earlier today, I was taken aback by it" he added.
"Do you think he was being genuine?" Lysithea asks.
Byleth glances at them, Lorenz shrugs "I don't know" he said "It seemed like the Prince was genuine, but I will let his actions speak instead of his words" he added.
"Makes sense to me" Lysithea said, they lowered their voices.
Byleth failed to notice the footsteps that were making their way to her until too late. "Byleth" the all too familiar voice of Dimitri called out, great she had been hoping that they would have left from the monastery before she had to face him once again. Byleth kept her back turned to Dimitri and continued latching on the last of the saddle on her horse, "I was hoping to have a moment to speak with you... Please?" Dimitri asked.
Byleth tried to think of what Hilda had said, Dimitri doesn't know he did those things at Gronder but that doesn't excuse it nor does it make light of everything else that he's done. But like Hilda said it wasn't fair to lash out on him for something he had no recollection of. Byleth turned around, she didn't look to his face "Alright" she said.
Dimitri shifted uncomfortably for a moment, "Do you think we could go somewhere more private?" he asked, Byleth glanced in the direction of Lorenz and Lysithea who were staring at the Prince watching him.
Byleth nodded slightly and led to the area near the knight's quarters that were nearby the stable, "What do you want?" she asked cutting straight to the chase.
"I- I wanted to apologize to you for my behavior, Byleth" Dimitri began "I know what I've done is deplorable and-" he was saying but Byleth cut him off.
"Is that it?" Byleth asked "Because I have more pressing matters right now your Highness" she said, he flinched at the usage of his title.
Dimitri looked down, "I don't expect you to forgive me, I- I just wanted to apologize Byleth, I'm sorry I truly am" he said.
Byleth shook her head, "If you came to me to ease the burdens of what you've done Dimitri, that's your mistake" she said "Maybe one day I could look past the things you've done, but as of right now I can't"
Dimitri's gaze remained towards the floor and he nodded slowly, "I expected as much" he said "I'm sorry if I gave the impression that I was just trying to ease my own guilt, I merely wanted to get it out there that I am conscious of my mistakes and will try to better myself from them" Dimitri added.
Byleth was unsure what to say to that, good job on wanting to not listen to the dead? They stood in awkward silence for a moment, "I have to go Dimitri" Byleth finally said then turned away and left back to the stables with the others.
Soon after Byleth returned to the stables the rest of the group leading for Derdriu arrived, "Alright everyone" Byleth began "As you all know we are going to the Alliance Capital, to help prevent imperial troops from invading the city" she said then paused for a moment, "That's all I can really say on the matter give the fact we don't know much about it, but... Be prepared for anything" Byleth said "Now let's go" she concluded and began leading them to Derdriu.