"Alright Joey, what did you think about Fran?"
He thought for a moment "Which one was Fran?"
She sighed "Show him Fran."
They've been at this for 5 hours. Joey was growing tired, the producers where getting impatient and Chandler was trying his best to speed the process along. The show is scheduled to air tomorrow night, and if they don't nail it down to ten women right now then Joey isn't going to cut any loose by the end of the show.
Knowing Joey, his mind is on food, which means he isn't paying attention to anything happening right now.
"Joe." Chandler snapped him over to the monitor where they displayed a picture of Fran.
"Oh yeah!" He nodded, remembering now. "What is with that." He pointed to his teeth in resemblance of hers. He was never informed that Fran still saw an Orthodontist. "Why did you guys cast her?"
"Because she is tragic and if you show interest in her it shows heart." She told him
Joey nodded briefly and looked over at the camera where they were collecting footage of his comments on each woman. "I think Fran has something really wonderful to offer."
"Great, now how about Dana?" She asked and without waiting for a clueless response, they showed a clip of her. She moved in real close and confident up against Joey before brushing her fingers along his arm.
"Oh wow." Joey smiled, remembering that night clearly. "Dana, is a wonderful woman. She is beautiful and not afraid to let people know that she is in charge."
Finally, now we are getting somewhere. Chandler sighed contently knowing he was going to see his bed soon.
"Great. Now, what about Monica?"
Joey looked over at the producer sitting behind the camera. "Monica." He trailed off. "Monica is a tuff one. When I was in the kitchen with her I had no idea what to say."
"Well, that's because she doesn't take Joey Tribbiani bait." Chandler commented.
"America is going to vote for her, so you're gonna have to start charming her, Sweetheart." She told him, honestly.
"Chandler is way better with girls like that than I am." He admitted, pointing to his friend sitting in the corner of the room.
"So, he'll help you know what to say to her." She glanced over at him. "Sound like a plan?"
Chandler nodded "I'll do my best." He said, knowing far too well there was no other option.
After a short pause, Joey looked up at the camera. "I think Monica may be the perfect woman."
The following day was the offical day America would get the chance to view Joey's new show. The show that may change the lives of the contestants forever.
Ross and Rachel were working in their coffee shop, their television already turned to the station Monica would soon be appearing.
It seemed everyone in the little cafe was watching the network when the host came into view. "Good evening ladies and gentleman. I am your host for the next 8 weeks, Stan. Now, some of you may recognize the famous bachelor from this years Most Sexiest Man in Hollywood. We will bring him out soon. But first, there are fifteen beautiful women standing backstage, hoping to catch Joey's eyes. Let's meet them."
They rolled the montage and America watched the entrance of all the ladies. Monica was the first one to appear on screen. "Wow, this place is really beautiful. I'm excited and nervous."
Ross and Rachel smiled, the whole coffee shop abrupting in cheer; knowing the face well.
Next, they showed all the girls descending the staircase; Monica was one of them. "She looks great." Ross smiled over at Rachel beside him.
"Wow, you look amazing. I'm Joey by the way."
"Monica."
The screen cut to Monica in a private room being interviewed about her reaction after meeting Joey. "I really liked him when we first met. I'm trying to forget the fact that he is Joey Tribbiani. Um..it would be great to fall in love with a guy and get to know him as a real person." She smiled softly before the camera cut to another contestant.
Joey's voice rang out as America watched another lady's private interview. "I can really see things progressing with her."
Then, as a lady with a big bust came down the staircase a few men in the cafe whistled at her noticeable clevage.
When Ross began to smile, Rachel smacked him with one of her cleaning rags.
"I don't know," Joey's voice came back "Tammy may be, a little too much. Not really my taste, if that makes sense."
Rachel nodded, glad he wasn't just another pig actor.
"Wow, these girls are something. Joey, what do you think?" Stan looked over at Joey who stood off to the side of him.
"I think my future wife could be in this group of women." He admitted.
Stan then looked back at the camera. "Well, they're all upstairs in their rooms but they aren't allowed to see what we've just seen." He chuckled "You will get to see them tomorrow night on our live taping. Just call in your vote to the number on your screen." He said just as the number appeared below. "And choose who you believe is the perfect match for Joey Tribbiani."
Everyone quickly grabbed their phone from their pocket. "Hurry, call in." Rachel announced, dialing the number herself.
The following day the producer of the show hurried into Chandler's office with a paper in hand. Before announcing her entrance or asking how he was doing, she jumped right to the conclusion of her reason for being there. "Last nights ratings were through the roof." She smiled "We're number one in every demographic."
"I know, it's great." Chandler said, looking at the same results on his computer. "I just hope they like this key ceremony just as much."
The day went by just as quickly as it begun. Rehearsal took a couple hours, with only one argument amongst the girls. Once everyone felt confident enough they weren't going to screw up on live television, they wrapped things up. The producer made a quick announcement reminding everyone what time they were to report back.
That night, everyone was rushing around the mansion making sure everyone and everything was in place, papers were being handed off, mics were being tested, makeup was being touched up. Not a single person stopped until cues were shouted.
"We're going live in 15!" The director shouted, but people still kept running back and forth because 15 seconds in showbiz was like 15 minutes.
All the ladies were lined up in the same shade of red, resembling their personalities. Joey stood a few feet away with a crew member working on straightening his tie.
"Everyone ready? Ten seconds!" Came the second announcement just as the crew member left Joey's side.
"Here we go..." Chandler whispered nervously as he watched from behind the cameras.
"Five, four, three, two..." Camera 1 pointed and the theme song played overhead as the camera panned over to Stan.
"Tonight, America has eliminated five of these women leaving only ten to receive a key to Joey's heart. Let's take a look at these fine women, once again." The light to Camera 1 turned off, notifying Stan that America was now watching a recap of last nights episode. Quickly, crew members rushed on scene to touch up anyone that needed it.
"Three seconds."
They hurried to clear out before the camera came back on.
"Now, before I hand things over to Joey. Is there anything you want to say?" He moved aside so the camera can focus in on Joey.
Taking a deep breath, his hands folded in front of him. "I haven't known you ladies for very long. But the time that I did get to spend with each of you was precious and I want to thank you for opening up your heart to me, and to America."
He sighed once again, knowing it was now time to hand out the ten keys to the women America voted for.
From home, Rachel watched as Joey Tribbiani began handing out the gold keys, each engraved with a name of a contestant.
"This box contains ten keys to my heart." He said, opening up the box. "The first key goes to," He flipped it over in his hands, letting the camera get a close up of the name. "Jessica."
When she heard her name, Jessica budded everyone out of the way and hurried over to Joey. Taking her key from his grip, she moved in quickly and hugged him tight. He couldn't help but smile. "Will you accept that key to my heart?" He asked
"Yes." She hugged him again, jumping up and down. "Yes!" She yelped and moved aside just like she had done in rehearsal.
"And the second key goes to," Joey repeated the same process as the first one. "Mindy."
"Yeah!" She made her way up to Joey.
"Mindy, will you accept this key to my heart?"
"Yes."
Joey kept reaching in and pulling out the keys one by one.
"Phoebe."
"Sarah."
"Alisha."
"Fran." Fran reached out and hugged him, taking the key.
"Dana." When she got to Joey, she moved in and kissed him square on the lips, not wasting any time.
"Will you accept this key to my heart?"
Rachel smiled as she watched contestant after contestant receive their key. "That is the sexiest man in the world."
Ross, not far from earshot, heard Rachel from across the counter and leaned into a customer. "What does he have that I don't?"
"Are you sure you want me to answer that?" The man joked, taking a drink of his coffee.
"In my hand I hold the final key." Joey announced, taking a deep breath. "And the final key gets presented to..." He flipped it over. "Monica." He said smiling. As she walked over to him, her heart began to race. "Monica, you are Americas number one choice." Joey told her as she stopped in front of him with the key outstretched. "Do you accept this key to my heart?" He asked
Smiling, she nodded. "Yes, of course." She took the key in her hand and leaned in for a hug.
From the side, Chandler shook his head with a grin. "She is going to be the one."
Once Monica was lined up with the rest of the finalist, Stan came back into frame. "Tune in next week to find out who is winning the heart to Joey Tribbiani. Until then, I'll be over here." Stan glanced behind him at all the beautiful ladies. "Keeping my jealously." He smiled. "Goodnight, America."
Before returning to her room for the night, Monica grabbed herself a cup of coffee from the kitchen.
She was halfway up the stairs when suddenly Joey and his camera crew came up behind her. "Monica, hey." He stopped her, gently. "You are, you are popular with the viewers." He commented
From the studio, Chandler watched as Joey halted Monica on the platform between staircases.
"Yeah," She chuckled, warming her hands with her mug. "I have no idea why. I'm such a nervous wreck this week."
"It's fine, sometimes it's hard..." He trailed off "It's hard to know what to say."
Monica nodded.
Chandler quickly reacted "Oh, let me ah..." He looked around "Give me a mic." Reaching over, he grabbed a pair of headphones. Adjusting the mic, he began to talk to Joey on the other side. "Say, say it's a lot to get use to."
"You're fine," Joey heard Chandler in his ear. "This is-it's a lot to get use to." He motioned to the cameras around him.
"Yeah, I'm just not use to competing for a guy."
"Yeah." Joey nodded, waiting for Chandler's next call.
"We'll just try to have time alone as much as we can." Chandler told him and Joey repeated
"That sounds good." Monica smiled before clearing her throat. "So I hear you're from Boston?"
"Yeah." Joey nodded
Chandler smiled "Oh, make it about her." He rubbed his lip, thinking. "Say, and I hear your family has their own coffee shop out there?"
"Yeah, I mean, it's just a little place." Monica replied
"You know, I'd love to chuck all this for a weekend. Go back home, see it sometime." Chandler told her
Monica laughed "Wow, my sister would die."
Chandler leaned into the monitor. "Brush that hair out of her face." He told Joey, softly.
Joey followed Chandler's command, causing chills to run down Monica's body.
"I'm gonna say goodnight, and I'm gonna apologize for all these cameras." Joey repeated Chandler's words gently.
"Oh, no, it's okay." Monica assured him, her breath shallow, feeling the tingles from his gently touch.
"Now, walk away..." Chandler instructed but Joey didn't move. He stayed put, wanting to do something more.
But he knew he couldn't. "Goodnight." Joey turned to leave.
"Goodnight." Monica called after him, watching as he walked back down the stairs.
Once he was out of range, she smiled and continued back towards her room.
The next morning Joey was awaken by the producer barging into his room and letting the sunshine in through the blinds. "Joey?"
He stirred. "Morning."
"We've got girls in the hot tub. Let's get the cameras rolling."
Joey tiredly rolled out of bed.
"Do you have a swimming suit?" She asked, walking back to the door.
"No, I don't need one." He rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
Before she had a chance to leave, Chandler rushed in the room. "You rock! You rock!" He repeated.
"What, what?" Joey mimicked.
"The calls are flowing in, America is loving you. And that's not even all of it." Chandler announced, holding up the paper with Joey and Monica's picture on the front. "You guys are the perfect match, everyone agrees. God, you are a pro."
"No no, you're the pro. Man, you saved me with her last night. It was like we were doing a scene together-"
"Joe?"
"But you were telling me what to say-"
"Joey!"
He looked up at the producer. "She is the one." She handed an ear piece over to him "You keep making it work with her and your image will be the perfect boy next door."
"Nice." He smiled, but he looked delusional because he was still in the process of waking up.
They laughed "Come on, let's get you to the hot tub."
Once they left, Joey stood up. "I love my life."
An hour passed by, Joey was out in the yard with a pitcher of mimosas in hand. "Ladies, who wants another drink?" He asked, mentally noting that Monica wasn't with the group in the tub.
Chandler made his way back to the studio room, prepared to feed Joey all his lines. He sat down his breakfast that he grabbed from the kitchen on his way over, then focused putting on his mic. Watching as Joey began refilling everyone's glass, he noticed someone walking out to the courtyard.
"Joe," He adjusted his mic. "Monica just came down the stairs right behind you." He told him
Looking around, he saw Monica walk over to the table off to the side with two other women.
"Um...I'll be right back." Joey excused himself and made his way over to the table. "Hey," He stood beside them. "I saw you guys sitting over here and I couldn't resist." He explained, pouring them all drinks, too.
Monica smiled up at him in thanks before returning to her crossword puzzle. "Um, okay. Space blank, five letters." Monica told them, stumped at all the possibilities this one could be.
"What?" Joey questioned, confused.
"Oh, the crossword puzzle. Space, blank." She explained
Joey laughed. "You are asking the wrong guy."
Chandler overheard the conversation between the group and thought about it. When it clicked. "It's cadet. Space Cadet." He told Joey
"Uh, wait, cadet. Space Cadet? Space, blank. Five letters." Joey nodded mentally putting it together in his head.
Monica reviewed it "That's it." She glanced up at him. "Thank you." She smiled and filled it in.
"Ask her to take a walk." Chandler said
"Monica, do you want to go for a walk?"
Smiling, she straightened her body, surprised he would choose her over everyone else in the yard. "Yeah, I'd love to." She stood up
"Excuse us, ladies." They began walking further into the garden away from all the commotion.
"So, do you miss home?" Joey asked, repeating everything Chandler was saying to him.
"Yeah. I do. Very much." Monica said, sadly. "My brother and sister-in-law especially."
"Oh."
"Be interested in her." Chandler reminded him.
"What's your sister like?"
"Oh, well, she loves to shop." Monica chuckled. "We use to be roommates, and I'm a little bit of a homebody, so she would always force me to go out with her to bars and clubs." She explained. "Then she married my brother and somehow, we got a lot closer. We were close before, but now it's like we are actual sisters." She smiled "She is actually obsessed with you, that is why she put me up to this."
Joey laughed
"That is so strange, because I feel so normal." Chandler said
"That's so strange to hear stuff like that, because I feel like a normal person." Joey repeated
"Yeah, but you live a pretty amazing life. Let's admit it, would you trade it in for a job serving food to other people?"
"Don't, don't give her the sob story." Chandler warned.
"You're right. It is fun, I've been very fortunate." He slowed down "But let's stop talking about me." Joey sighed and faced her.
"Okay." Monica followed his lead.
"Now, take her hand." Chandler instructed. Joey did so. "Good."
Monica looked at their entwined fingers and smiled.
Before Chandler could say anything more, Joey quickly grabbed her face and moved in for a kiss.
"No, no what are you doing? Don't!" Chandler shouted "You don't kiss her."
Joey continued the movements not listening to Chandler anymore.
Taken back, Monica moved away. "Um, sorry this is..." She wiped her fingers against her lips. "This is all just happening a little too fast so..." She took a deep breath and slipped away, returning to the party back at the house.
"You blew it." Chandler sighed, tossing his pen to the side. "You totally blew it. I didn't say to kiss her. The timing was all off."
Joey shook his head and looked back at the cameraman who has been by his side all morning. "The timing? Wh-What are you talking about?"
Chandler ignored him and took off his headset.
AN: Sorry, this is a little rushed but I am trying to get to the good part. Feel free to let me know what you think in the comments.