Pulling up to school I feel my nerves start to kick in. It's already Friday and I haven't been able to make nice with Cam since Tuesday's outburst. Last night's back and forth texts with Thomas were short, but it still felt somewhat wrong so it didn't go much further than just telling him I was doing my homework.
Walking up to the front of the school, I hear my name being called and I turn to see Thomas running up to catch up to me. I notice some girls giving us questioning looks and others do nothing to hide their glaring towards me. Unlike Cam, Thomas pays no attention and seems to ignore it all, smiling at me.
"Hey." He says as we start to walk up to the school together.
"Hey," I say it more as a question.
Chuckling softly he rubs his chin, "I know Cam wouldn't be cool with me inviting you to the game tonight, but since I don't think he cares about you too much. Why don't you come to the game and we can hang out after?"
I clear my throat and stop to turn to him, "What do you mean he doesn't care about me too much?" I hear Vince's words in my head floating around.
Loyalty. I need to have loyalty for the very least Cam's friendship.
His eyes widen slightly and he stammers before he says nonchalantly, "Well, yeah. He's your boyfriend but he hangs out with Zoey all the time."
I start to walk into school again and he follows me in. I know everyone knew about Cam and Zoey, but I wasn't prepared for people to throw in my face as we faked being in a relationship. I know to Cam this is all fake, but I can't help but feel betrayed and hurt. I need to stop this. We're just friends.
"Olivia?" Thomas breaks me out of my thoughts when we reach my locker.
I turn to him, "Want to hang out at the library during lunch today?" I ask before I can convince myself that it's a bad idea.
His eyes widen slightly again and now I've realized he does this when he's caught off guard. Then he smiles softly, "Yeah, I'll see you then."
Before he turns, I call out to him and it's not until he turns to me that I tell him, "He cares."
He shakes his head softly before turning around to walk away and I can finally breathe with him so far away. I'm not even sure if Cam really cares, I just felt like I needed to come to his defense.
Opening my locker, Natalie leans on the locker next to mine, smirking.
"So did you break things off with Cam, now that I see you openly talking to Thomas?"
Shaking my head, still feeling a little uneasy with this, "No. Cam hasn't talked to me. I'm going to hang out with Thomas at the library during lunch."
Pulling out her phone she turns it to me revealing pictures she took of Cam with Zoey at the restaurant. They're sitting in a booth and they're sitting across from each other. She slides through the pictures, there's some where Zoey extends her arms to touch his hand, but that's all and even though I was expecting way worse, it still hurts.
She shrugs, "He could've taken you out. After all, being in a fake relationship to prove a point to that witch, was his idea." After not saying anything to respond to that, she sighs and her light blue eyes look at me sympathetically, "Liv, if you really want something with him, have you thought about telling him the truth?"
I nod, feeling defeated, "Yeah, but if he doesn't feel the same..." I blow out a breath as I feel my stomach tighten, "I'm just not ready for this to end."
Chuckling softly, she puts her phone away. "You're one crazy girl."
I'd say pathetic, but I guess that fits well too.
Penelope soon joins us with Austin's arm wrapped around her shoulder. Those two are inseparable now. They both greet us before Austin starts to talk about hanging out at his house after school to have a game night again.
When the bell rings we all head to our classes and it couldn't have gone any slower. I was understanding everything that was being said in every class, but I couldn't stop looking at the time in every class. And my mind kept going to Cam and if he'd be more pissed knowing I went out of my way to hang out with Thomas.
I wish I knew if it was really about being disrespected that got him upset or if in fact, he was jealous. If he was jealous why wouldn't he tell me when I asked him he's into me?
Lunchtime came around and I didn't turn towards the cafeteria, I went straight to the library. I was not chancing running into Cam and have him follow me here when he hasn't made any sense of why he would be mad.
I decide to pick one of the first tables since I still don't feel all too comfortable with Thomas to be alone with him in the back. That's even if he shows up. I pull out my phone and see I have a text from Natalie saying Cam is asking where I am and she's playing dumb. I chuckle, putting my phone away and take out my book, and chocolate.
I'm barely three pages in and a full bar of chocolate gone when I see a figure take the seat across from me. I look up to find Thomas's smiling brown eyes looking at me. I take the empty chocolate wrapper and put it inside my book to use it as my bookmark.
"Hey." I push the book aside.
"Hey yourself... You really like hanging out in here, do you?" He asks as he looks around before meeting my eyes again.
Feeling a little lame about having him meet me here, I nod. "Yeah, it's quiet most of the time."
He points a finger at a group of friends at a different table laughing at something on their phones, "They're not so quiet."
I shrug, "I did say most of the time."
He takes a deep breath through his nose as he leans forward, "So are you coming to the game tonight?"
I've thought about it a little, but I feel like that's taking it too far, "Not so much. I don't think it's a good idea."
Rolling his eyes he places his hands on the table, interlacing his fingers, "Don't tell me it's because of Cam. I already told you he doesn't care so why should you?"
That hurts and it's a little confusing coming from Thomas. Why should anything he says matter? He doesn't know our situation.
"So he hung out with Zoey. They didn't do anything." I frown as I try to defend Cam in his absence.
He laughs softly as he tilts his head a little, "Cam's always down to party, do you know why?" Shaking my head, he continues, "'cause there are girls. Zoey or no Zoey, Cam will always be a ladies man. Even with someone as special as you, he hasn't changed his ways. You'll probably always be second best to him."
Special like me? I've never even hung out with this guy for him to have an opinion like that about me. And second best? Is he serious?
Feeling my blood start to boil, I lean forward now too, "And how would you know this? You were there with them?"
Smirking he bites his bottom lip before answering, "I have Zoey on Snapchat. They seemed very cuddly from her pictures and I've seen that too many times to know something happened that night."
I ball my hands into fists to try and collect my anger, "Are you trying to hurt me?"
His stupid smug face falls and he looks shocked and scared, "No. I just want you to know the truth. What kind of friend would I be if I just let you look like a fool."
Well, that stopped me dead on the tracks. Realization hit me in the face. Fake or not, and loyalty or no loyalty, Cam is making me out to look like a fool. To the whole school, we're known to be a couple and he goes out with Zoey making me look like a foolish girl. Grabbing my book and my bag, I stand abruptly, walking out of the library. I hear Thomas call behind me, but I merely don't care to share the same space with him. He seemed too smug at my hurt feelings.
Stopping me just a few feet outside of the library he grabs my upper arm, "Olivia, wait. I'm sorry."
He's finally reached my breaking point and my pent-up anger unleashes, I point my finger on his chest, my voice coming out louder than I intended to, "No. I don't care if you're sorry. Stay out of my-"
"What the fuck are you doing with my girl?" Cam's voice comes from behind me and I groan. Feeling too keyed up to deal with all of this.
Thomas chuckles, "We were just being friendly." His eyes meet mine and I glare at him as he smirks back to Cam, "I mean... she's cool with you being friendly with Zoey."
Suddenly Cam isn't behind me anymore and now I'm staring at his back. He seems taller and more tense than usual. I wish we were on good terms so I can give him a big hug, but we're not. And I'm too angry to try to make things right at this moment.
Before Cam gets to say anything to Thomas I speak louder and clearer, making Cam turn around as he glares at me too.
"You guys can do whatever the fuck you guys want..." I blink back the tears, the angrier I get, "Just leave me out of it." I meet Thomas's eyes directly this time, "I'm done talking about this."
Cam's face drops to full-on compassion and takes a step forward, but I immediately take a step back as I glare at him, "Cookie, let's talk."
Shaking my head I drop my gaze to the ground as I feel the lump in my throat. Now I'm, Cookie? I was Olivia all week.
"No. Leave me alone, Cam." I can't stay here, I need to leave.
I turn and start speed walking out of school. I don't know what feels worse, feeling miserable and hurt or this angry nasty feeling I have towards Cam and Thomas. Stupid boys.
Finally, outside the air feels cool on my heated skin. I get to my car and throw my stuff in the car before I take a deep breath, running my hands through my hair. I need to calm down before I get in the car. I can't drive like this.
"Livy." I feel Cam behind me. I shake my head, but he pulls me in his arms from behind. His arms circle around my waist as his nose pressing against my neck.
I'm so confused. I really need to let out a big fat ugly cry.
"Can we please talk?" He presses a soft kiss on my neck.
Shaking my head, I turn and pull away from his arms, "I need to go. I can't be here. I can't be near you."
Groaning he runs his fingers through his hair, frustrated, "Fuck, Livy. I'm sorry. I-"
"I'm going to tell you what I told Thomas... I don't care if you're sorry." I'm not ready to tell him the full truth, but I at least want him to take the hint. So I meet his gaze, "I know I'm shy and awkward as you once said, but I at least care about not making you out to look like a fool."
He suddenly frowns as realizations flood his eyes, "You were just hanging out with Thomas."
I push him on his chest so he can give me some breathing room and because I'm angry all over again, "He invited me to the game tonight. I declined, but I told him to meet me at the library because he was talking badly about you. I wanted to come to your defense. I never had an intention to make you seem like a fool." Pushing my luck, I tell him more than I was prepared to let him know, "I tried to tell him nothing was going on with you and Zoey. You know how stupid and naïve I looked?.. I looked like a goddam fool. He was right when I said I came second best... I don't think this is the best idea. Everything is changing..."
He gulps as his blue eyes stare at me as if he's scared, "I know."
Scoffing, so fed up of dealing with being hurt, I only take a step closer, "I hate confrontation, Cam. So I'm going to go home, take a nice shower, nap and maybe watch some Netflix movies. Please, Cam. I need to be by myself."
I turn to sit in the car and his voice comes out sad and hurt, "Whenever you're ready, Cookie. I won't let you be by yourself."
That didn't make sense and my head is starting to hurt. So I shut the door and drive away, leaving him there with my heart handed to him and he doesn't even know it. Taking a deep breath and telling myself not to cry.
Luckily my parents aren't home yet. One look at me and they'll know something's wrong.
Taking a shower sounds nice right now. I'll get to dwell on my thoughts and feelings all by myself.
If this is even worth it.