"He hung out with Zoey, Vince! Of course, I'm hurt."
I asked Vince to come eat at the diner with me after Cam didn't show up for school all day. It's where I like to vent with Penelope, but seeming as I can actually talk about my real feelings with Vince about Cam seemed logical to me at the moment. After all, he thinks our relationship is real. Penelope will tell me to end it and stop hurting myself while Natalie will tell me to antagonize him by talking to Thomas.
He drops the napkin onto his empty plate and takes a sip of his soda before his brown eyes meet mine, "Okay, so he's an asshole. So why are you still with him?"
I open my mouth and shut it back quickly. Trying to find a way to best tell him how to describe our situation. In reality, I want to tell him that it's because this is all fake and I actually like him so I guess I'm just hoping for his feelings for Zoey to change towards me.
I'm really pathetic.
I opt to shrug and be vague, "I like him... especially when he's nice."
He leans over placing his elbows on the table, "You know, he's only ever had one other girlfriend in our sophomore year."
"He did?" This is news to me. I thought Zoey would be his first real girlfriend.
Vince nods and leans back in the booth, "She couldn't deal with all the girls throwing themselves at him. She liked it better when they were friends, so she broke it off after a month of dating and they remained friends. Then she moved to San Diego our junior year."
Although I like knowing more information on Cam, I have to ask. "What does this have to do with me and Cam?"
He sighs deeply and looks around before meeting my eyes, "I can't believe you have me here talking about feelings and shit, Liv." I smile and shrug as he continues, "All I'm saying is, Cam knows he has girls following him around, but when he's in a relationship... he's loyal and he's a loyal friend. He wouldn't do that to you."
Loyal.
His words hit me in the chest making my heart jump a little. He wouldn't know I'm not his real girlfriend, but I think in the time we've spent together we have sort of became friends. Maybe I need to apologize for me breaking that loyalty with him. I was ready to talk to Thomas even if I was just being friendly.
*
Gripping the sleeves of my sweater as I pull them down, over my hands, I feel my stomach drop down as I catch sight of him at our spot. No one's around so I walk faster to take advantage of alone time with him to talk.
"Hey," I tell him as I get closer.
He only makes eye contact for a second before he pulls out his phone and starts typing something.
"Hey." He mutters.
"Can we talk?" I sit beside him placing my books on the grass.
He turns to me frowning and I can still see a little heat in his blue eyes, "About what?"
He doesn't look any better than I do. His black clothes are rumpled and his hair is a mess, but it doesn't seem like he wants to make things better.
Sighing, feeling like a fool. I look down at my hands before meeting his eyes again, "Thomas."
I didn't think his frown could deepen, but it did and now his body is fully turned towards me, "Why?"
I open my mouth to apologize and tell him that I understand why he felt disrespected and I'll be a loyal friend, but we got interrupted by his phone ringing. We both look down and see Zoey's name on the screen. He looks up and I quickly look in a different direction. I don't want him to see the hurt in my eyes because I decided to get in this knowing he has feelings for her.
To my disappointment, he answers her call.
This might be ending sooner than I thought. He never answers her calls around me. Without making eye contact, I grab my books and stand to walk over to the library. I rub my chest with my palm to ease the pain, but it doesn't seem to work.
I should've told him since the beginning that this could happen. That I can actually catch feelings for him. I feel like it's too late now, I'll make myself look like a bigger fool.
Just as I set my stuff down on the table, at the back of the library, I get a text. Running my hands through my hair before I grab my phone, it hurts my chest a little when I see Thomas's name pop up.
It's a simple, "Hey."
I lock the screen and drop the phone in my bag. I still want to apologize to Cam. I don't want to cause any issues with him even as friends. I open up my book and start to read, hoping I'll get transferred to a different world where I can forget about my feelings for Cam.
After being engrossed in the book I sense the chair next to me being pulled back. I turn to meet Cam's deep blue eyes and I quickly turn my gaze to my book again. My heart picks up the pace again, I wasn't expecting him to follow me.
I feel his body leaning towards me and I feel his breath near my ear, it makes me shiver. "I saw Thomas walking towards the library. Did you still want to talk about him?" He says it so low and it tugs at my heart. Does he still want to do this? But before I get to answer, he scoots my chair closer so his arm wraps behind me on the chair. "Do you think a guy like him is into shy girls like you, Olivia?"
He's being an asshole and I don't know what makes me do it, but I meet my green gaze with his deep blue ones. "Aren't you just like him? Girls all over you. Are you not into me?"
He seems stunned for a moment and I see his blue eyes sparkle when he searches mine.
The bell rings and he sighs deeply.
"The difference is I'm not like him. Even with the girls around. He doesn't respect anyone. Not even himself, but if you'd paid attention you'd see that. Because if he did, he would've backed off the first day I claimed you as my girl." He stands, pushing the chair out and I grab his hand to stop him.
My heart pounds against my chest, "So why are we still doing this? Why are you fighting someone you don't need to?"
I see the heat in his eyes and I want him to tell me it's because he's grown feelings for me too, but he shoves my hand away and I can literally see the walls go up and all those expressions he was showing me go into hiding.
"I'm still looking forward to my end of the deal to work out."
He walks away, leaving me there. I know damn well I put my guard down and if he looked close enough he'd know that I have feelings for him.
I quickly grab my things and try to run after him to tell him he didn't answer my other question. He didn't answer if he's into me, but once I make my way out into the hallway, I see he's walking out to the front doors.
He's leaving.
My heart twists as I make my way to my class instead.
*
Walking into my house, I find my mom already cooking as I make my way upstairs to shower and change. When I make my way back down my dad is just getting here and as always he gives my mom a small peck on the lips before doing anything else.
"Hey, sweetheart." He turns to me and smiles, "Spoke to Uncle Vinny and he happened to be with the girls and they sounded excited to come. Just in time for your birthday coming up soon."
Feeling my mood lift a little, I tell him I'm excited to have Carla and Giovanna here too.
Mom serves us our food as my dad tells us about Uncle Vinny actually coming out to the Bay Area to see some houses. He's thinking about moving to the west coast.
Once I finish all my food, my dad clears his throat, "I want to know something... Is Cam your boyfriend or just someone who took you to the homecoming dance?"
I feel my face heat up and I look over at my mom who's also frowning at him, "Er... He's my boyfriend now."
Wiping his mouth with the napkin, he smiles, "Great. You can bring him to the house to meet Uncle Vinny."
My eyes widen at the thought. My dad wasn't necessarily nice to him when they met and my Uncle Vinny is the epitome of what an Italian mob gangster looks like. I don't think Cam would make it through one of my family gatherings. My dad can be nice and quiet, but apparently not when it comes down to a boy that wants to take his daughter to the homecoming dance.
"That's not a good idea." And I highly doubt he'd want to pretend now that he's mad at me.
He pushes his plate further and places his elbows on the table to lean forward, "Why not?"
I try to find the right words to say before I say anything that gives away my fake relationship, "Because... We just started dating. I don't want to scare him off."
My mom chuckles softly as my dad scoffs and points his stare at me, "If I can scare him off then, good because that just means he isn't the one for you, sweetheart."
"Well, I'll think about it," I say, with no conviction of actually thinking about it. Cam will not be meeting my family, especially while we're just pretending to be in a relationship.
I get up to place my dish in the sink and go up to my room before my dad can try to talk to me about Cam any longer. I take out my book and binder to get started on some homework. Just as I sit at my desk, my phone rings, and I see it's Natalie calling me.
I answer and it sounds like a lot of people are in the background. She answers back, but then suddenly it's quiet, besides the wind that passes through the phone.
"I came with my parents to eat at Buca di Beppo and you're not going to guess who's eating out... again." She says and I can definitely guess who.
"Cam." That is the only thing I say.
"Yes! You need to break this shit off with him or start talking to other guys while you're still in this fake relationship and fuck this stupid loyalty thing Vince told you about because I see no loyalty for you when it comes down to Zoey."
Jeez, why does she have to be right? I feel like I've been running in circles from doing the right or wrong thing. Well, he said he wants his end of the deal to work out and so maybe it has, but if it has then he can end it if he wants.
"I guess you're right."
She chuckles, "I'm always right. He's sweet to you and I ship you guys and all, but not like this. Not when I feel like you're getting played even if this isn't even real because trust me, Liv. The way he blew up, is pure jealousy and he needs some balls to tell you the truth."
Now it's my turn to chuckle, "Not really trying to think about his balls."
Chuckling again, I hear the moment she goes back into the restaurant because I can hear people talking again, "Anyway, think about what I told you. I'm going to eat with my parents."
"Thanks, Natalie."
"Anytime, girl."
As soon as we hang up I put my phone down and run my fingers through my hair. I can't possibly hurt every time I hear about Cam and Zoey together. This was going to happen since the very first day I agreed to this.
Before this year even started I wouldn't have even talked to any boy. But this is the new me. I should be different. He shouldn't care who else I talk to if he's going out with Zoey anyway.
Picking up my phone I contemplate if I should text Thomas back. Sending a quick hey should be harmless. It'll just be a small conversation. It won't mean anything.