—Bright Vachirawit—
I gently opened my eyes when I felt the flare of the sun passing through the window brightly with a soft refreshing breeze coming from the air outside. I looked across the room and saw that I'm still at Win's and when I looked at my side he's already not there. I went to his bathroom to wash my face and went downstairs to find him and saw his back at the kitchen cooking something. He must be so focused on cooking breakfast because he didn't noticed me walking to the kitchen and purposely dragged the chair for me to sit and for him to look at me. I didn't noticed the time but I'm sure it's still early so I went back upstairs to look for my phone and played a game at the kitchen. Minutes passed and Win is still not finished and he's still not facing me, so I put down my phone and start observing him. He looked so blank today but despite of that he still has a well-built body and a perfect posture, I'm sure girls would be lucky to have him not to mention how hardworking he is and he's also funny. I wonder if he already has a girlfriend or what's the deal between him and Luke? They've really gotten close these past few days and I can sense it that Luke is into him. I haven't got the chance to ask him what's between them because of what happened last night. What came to my mind last night that I did 'that' to him? but the weirdest thing is that why did I liked it? I am such an asshole, I drove Win into this mess. I took his first kiss that should've been memorable and sweet, but isn't being kissed by his best friend a memorable thing already?
I got distracted by the overflowing thoughts that continuously entering my mind and didn't noticed that I'm still staring at Win so he must be shocked when he saw me staring at him. I also got shocked by his sudden move but I didn't made it too obvious and greeted him instead.
"Good Morning Win." I tried making myself as normal as possible in front of him and act like nothing happened.
"Good Morning Bright, how long are you sitting there and how's your sleep?". He asked, why can't he look straightly at my eye? Is he still affected of what happened last night just like me?
"It was good but it's been years and you still haven't get rid of your sleeping habit? You almost fell into the bed four times so I hugged you as usual for you not to fall." That was just and excuse, the truth is that he never really moved when we slept last night I just really don't know what came to my mind that I kissed him again and hugged him afterwards.
"A-ahh its really hard to get rid of it but I shouldn't be worried of falling into the bed because you're here to catch me right?" He asked innocently but why do I feel like there's something more about his question? Or am I just being paranoid again?
"Yeah if you'll let me stay here everyday then I'll also catch you every night for you not to fall." Dang, what did I just say? I must be out of my mind, the words just escaped through my mouth and I wasn't even thinking properly.
"You are so cheesy today Bright hahaha c'mon let's eat the food is getting warm already." He just laughed and I don't know why but I kinda got disappointed about his answer, I was hoping that he would say that I can stay at his house and be with him everyday.
After eating I volunteered to wash the dishes which he agreed and went to the bathroom to take a bath. I started washing the plates that we used and after that I went to the living room to wait for him. I saw some of our pictures at the living room, his family's photo and his picture when he graduated high school. In our picture, we looked thinner and shorter because we are still kids. I can still remember how this photo was taken by her mom, this was when we had a picnic on the park and he wanted to eat an ice cream but he doesn't have any money so I bought him one and he looked so happy. He asked his mom to take a picture of us and we smiled so widely while looking at her camera.
I smiled while watching our picture when we were just kids playing out on the playground and doesn't care about everything. I sat at his sofa and turned on his television and watched a video of EXO. Actually I'm really not a fan of K-POP back then but he influenced me to watch them and I liked their style so in the end I just found myself memorizing some of their dance choreos and memorizing some of their songs especially the one I'm currently listening right now.
"So why are you watching Sing for You when it's clearly not Christmas? Why don't we watch Love Shot instead and copy Kai's dance steps." I looked at my side and found Win just recently finished taking a bath because of his hair and he's so cute while drying off his hair with a towel. I just smiled and looked back at the television, he might think that I'm a snob but I just really don't know what to say since he's so damn attractive right now and I might say something that's out of my control.
We we're silent for a minute and then I suddenly asked, "Do you know what's the meaning of that song?" I was hoping that he would answer yes or he knew the lyrics of the song but I was shocked when he looked at me with a confused face as a sign that he didn't know the song. Seriously? Maybe he knows that it's all about Christmas and other stuffs? So I told him the meaning of the song and he was shocked that the lyrics we're actually deeper than he thought. He suddenly got quiet, maybe he was amazed about the lyrics.
"A-are you perhaps confessing to Earn? Don't you have the courage to tell all your feelings to her?" He asked. I haven't thought about Earn since last night and I don't even know if I'll confess to her with a mind like these, I'm confused about my feelings for her. I'm not that stupid for not noticing my feelings for you but I don't know if I was just surprised or is it even real.
"I'm confused about everything ever since 'that' happened and I couldn't stop thinking about that and it makes me go insane, excuse me I'll head home now. See you tomorrow Win." I said and headed towards the door. I don't know how to keep this up with him, I felt like something has changed about me ever since last night. Maybe I was just confused or what but I really can't stop thinking about him and only him.
I went home and immediately dialed Off to meet me at the park of our subdivision. I grabbed my car keys at the table of my bedroom and headed to the location I gave. I waited for Off to be there and minutes after waiting he arrived.
"Dude you literally ruined our moment! This should be important or else I'll kill you." Off said with an annoyed voice. I still couldn't admit that it was me and I don't want to be teased by this motherfucker so I used someone.
"I need some advice."
"Drop the problem."
"So I had this cousin of mine and he has a best friend. They were so close and then one day my cousin got mad because his best friend got too close with another man, he went to his house and kissed his best friend all of a sudden and after that he couldn't stop thinking about him. He was so confused and I don't even know what adviceI could give to him." I calmly said trying to act normal and I'm pretty sure my voice didn't cracked.
"You like him don't you." Off said that made me look at him. Like? I haven't thought of that.
"Huh? Who are you talking about?"
"I asked if you like Win." He said seriously, dang am I too obvious? I looked at him and then he smiled, "dude you can tell anything to me."
I guess my alibi didn't worked, I told him everything ever since the day Win and Luke got close on the cafeteria until the day we kissed yesterday. And Off just listened to my explanation without cutting me off.
"What's the reason why you kissed him?"
"I-I don't know."
"Are you longing for someone?"
"No."
"You Like him."
"No way"
"You're denying it now because you're confused and the scenes are still fresh to your mind but time will come and you'll realize that eventually. My advice for your cousin or YOU to be exact is that just do what's right and don't try to stop your feelings because it'll eventually grow even before you knew it. Also, think about your real feelings about Earn because maybe you're just fascinated by her and got pressured because you're the only one of us who doesn't have any commitment to a person. Just think carefully Bright and don't stay away from Win. Keep your friendship and don't change the way you treat him like you did to him before." Even though it's embarrassing but I knew I could count on him. After he said all of that he left because Gun is waiting for him at his house and I am left here all alone in the park while watching the kids play.
Do I really like Win in a romantic way? It would be possible but I'm still not sure about it, I've never been in love with a guy before. I'll have to think about it, I don't know how the future works but I'll observe my feelings more from now on. Maybe I really liked you ever since before all of these happened Win.