Izuku doesn't know how long it took him to get back up. In fact, he doesn't remember sitting in the first place. Back sliding down the rough surface of the wall, facing the bustling streets in front of him. Knees drawn up, and arms hugging his limbs close to his chest, seeking any kind of contact. Hoping for something to ground him back to reality. An anchor of some sort to make him focus, to lure him out of the rabbit hole his mind inevitably wandered into.
It doesn't work though.
He sits there, staring into the all too familiar darkness encompassing his surroundings. Feeling the movement of the people around him. All of them oblivious to the world-shattering thoughts that are going through his head, blissfully unaware of his inner turmoil as they get on with their lives.
He doesn't truly register his movements as he gets up and makes his way to Shinsou's scheduled meeting point, his body moving on autopilot. His head feels like it's been plunged underwater, his thoughts circle through his mind sluggishly. Small blessings he supposes. A great contrast to the chaotic onslaught that had previously threatened to suffocate him.
It's almost peacefully quiet as he finally arrives at his destination. A bus stop just a couple of blocks from Shinsou's house. A slight chill hangs in the air around him, making him wish he'd worn something thicker today.
Shinsou is waiting for him when he gets there. The familiar aura should be comforting, it should bring him the safety and hope he's always associated with his taller friend's presence. Yet, even though his entire being is yearning for it, it doesn't. Instead, he feels the reality of the situation crash down on him once again.
It's so overwhelming that tears unwillingly spring in his eyes, despite his best efforts to keep his emotions in check. Whatever greeting he had practiced on the way here gets caught in his throat. Words failing him as his mind screeches to a halt. Suddenly painfully aware of the life-changing secret he's harboring within him. He doesn't let the tears fall though, doesn't let himself let go, if not for his friend's sake then for his own wavering sanity. Nonetheless, he's glad for the glasses he's wearing at the moment.
Taking in a shuddering breath, he straightens his back and forces his features to relax into passive neutrality. Giving his best friend a reassuring smile as he greets him and they set out toward Yaoyorozu's house. Shinsou's classmate, if he recalls correctly.
Shinsou tells him about his day and he tries his best to reply accordingly. He speaks when he has to and he reacts when he needs to. He smiles and it feels forced and oh, so fake. A metaphorical mask covering his features. It's heavy and feels so wrong. It makes the bile rise in his throat as the lies trickle effortlessly from his throat. Creating what feels like an impregnable wall between him and his friend.
It must be working though since the teen doesn't seem to notice that anything's wrong.
They get there faster than he expected. He finds himself internally hoping that he hadn't spaced out or disassociated on the way here. A tall, imposing metal gate blocks their way to the girl's house. Mansion? He's not sure but doesn't really care either way.
He hears the tell-tale buzz of an electric door-latch and they walk into what seems like a clearing or a garden.
They stride up to the main entrance and the nerves he's been feeling seem to amplify tenfold. For the first time since he stepped outside the hospital, he remembers why he was here in the first place.
He was going to meet Shinsou's friends. The people that would stay by his side even when Izuku himself wouldn't be able to anymore.
The door opens and they are greeted by a tall feminine shape. Her voice is soft when she speaks and Izuku has to stomp down the growing desire to hide behind his friend's back.
"Hello, Shinsou! I'm glad you made it! Everyone is already here!" She says first, opening the door a little bit more now that she knows who is behind it. "And you must be Midoriya, right? Shinsou told us all about you!" She continues kindly, her voice holding a tinge of excitement in it.
"R-right." He wills his voice to work as he follows them both inside. "And you're...?" He trails off, waiting for her to confirm his suspicions on her identity.
"Oh sorry! How rude of me! I'm Yaoyorozu Momo! But you can call me Momo, it's easier." She answers without missing a beat. Stopping abruptly as they reach some sort of great hall. The open space makes him falter as he steps in. The sheer width of the room is overwhelming. "Guys, Shinsou and his friend are here!" She calls out as she makes her way to a large table placed in the middle of the room.
Several greetings are called out all at once, voice overlapping each other. Most of the forms he feels are familiar. Bakugou and Kirishima are seated at the end of the table. Surrounded by three people he recognizes from the USJ incident, however, he never interacted with them. Izuku also recognizes Todoroki and a couple of other students he interacted with at the USJ.
A hand squeezes his shoulder and he realizes how strange he must seem. Standing there, frozen in front of the entrance.
Smiling at Shinsou gratefully, they walk together toward the others. Kirishima is the first one to meet them halfway. The teen bounds towards them with something akin to a skip in his step. Followed closely by one of two boys that were sitting next to Bakugou.
"Midoriya! Bro! It's good to see you again!" The boy exclaims excitedly, his enthusiasm reminding Izuku of a puppy.
"Nice to see you too Kirishima." Shinsou deadpans from his place next to them. His voice carries a tinge of amusement.
Realizing his mistake, Kirishima proceeds to go into a long tangent, apologizing profusely to teen for his obvious 'unmanliness'.
Izuku thinks that maybe, coming here wasn't a mistake after all.
"Heya! You're Midoriya!" The other boy who came with Kirishima suddenly calls out for his attention. "Kirishima hasn't been able to stop talking about you! Says you stopped a store robbery!" The teen continues cheerfully, his elbow coming up to nudge Kirishima in the side as he speaks. "I'm Kaminari by the way." He finally introduces himself. He's about to answer but the arm around his shoulder interrupts him. He has to fight the urge to flinch. "Be honest though, are you really blind?" The teen continues with a lilt to his voice, skepticism palpable.
Whatever answer he had gets once again interrupted, this time by a low growl from somewhere behind them. His senses informs him that it's Bakugou. It's not his voice that speaks up though.
A deeper, unfamiliar voice sounds from somewhere next to him. When did all these people gather around them? "Kaminari! That's very rude! Unbecoming of a respectful Yuei student!" Turning towards the voice, he senses the stiffness of the person's stature. It seems as if the boy is making chopping motions in the air. It's with a start that he remembers him. The same boy he saved from Stain. Ingenium's brother. He's interrupted from his contemplation as the teen finally turns his way. Actually addressing him for once. "I'm sorry for my classmate's inconsiderate behavior!" He declares dramatically, bowing lowly.
"A-ah, it's okay, I get that question a lot," Izuku says, hoping for this whole interaction to end already, feeling multiple gazes trained on him. The boy stays there for a few more seconds, but eventually straightens up once again, much to Izuku's relief.
"My name is Iida Tenya. It's nice to meet you Midoriya-san." There's an awkward silence that follows his words. His hand is outstretched and Izuku has to fight the urge to face-palm. When the boy realizes, Izuku can practically feel the embarrassment radiating off of him. Shinsou spares him any further humiliation by pretending to tell Izuku about it, prompting him to finally answer with his own hand up.
Izuku thinks he can hear Kaminari snorting in the background but pays it no mind. "It happens a lot, don't worry about it," Shinsou says as he pats the taller teen on the shoulder.
They go through a few more greetings, thankfully without any other awkwardness, before the class goes back to the table to study. Izuku taking a seat between Kirishima and Shinsou. The former is too busy getting yelled at by Bakugou, to strike up any conversation with Midoriya. Small victories in Izuku's book.
It doesn't last long though. Soon enough, the class goes through most of the required curriculum. Some of the students, namely Kaminari, a girl who he'd come to know as Ashido, and a boy named Sero start getting distracted. If what Shinsou told him about the trio is true, it's a wonder their concentration lasted this long.
Their conversation is getting louder, beginning to attract the rest of the class's attention.
"- it's awesome, that's what it is!" Kaminari is saying, his clenched fist hitting the table dramatically. "The dude has been out there for years and he's never been caught!"
"Think he has some kind of evading quirk?" Sero contemplates out loud as a response.
"Nah, the guy probably has a way cooler quirk! You saw him at the USJ!" Anxiety slithers into the pit of his stomach at the girl's words. "He took down more villains than Aizawa-sensei! He even fought the nomu!" Ashido continues excitedly, almost vibrating in her seat.
"He got really hurt though..." The voice is soft but firm, a low 'kero' uttered at the end of her sentence. Izuku remembers her from the USJ. "He saved us all."
Multiple grunts of agreement follow her words, Shinsou's smile is getting wider by the second.
"I wish I was there! I keep searching for videos of him on the internet but nobody ever gets a clear shot!" Kaminari wines dejectedly, head falling onto the table's surface. Sero rubbing his back in sympathy.
"It's to be expected since his name is Shadow." Iida chimes in, getting a few weird looks from his classmates. Probably since he's normally really focused on his studies. At least that's what Shinsou told him. "Why are you looking at me like that? I respect Shadow a lot." The boy states seriously. "He's the reason my brother was able to continue with his hero career. He's the reason Stain is behind bars right now!"
Todoroki nods in confirmation, equally as serious.
"Really? I didn't know that!" He doesn't think Ashido could be happier right now. "He's so cool!"
"I think so too." Comes the shy voice, from the seat next to Iida's. "He saved me a long time ago." It's those words that bring a flood of memories to the surface of Izuku's mind. A dark alley, a girl, and a fight. "I got lost on my way home and a man attacked me. Shadow didn't let him hurt me. He fought him and stayed with me until the police came. He's the reason I wanted to get stronger. I wanted to be like him." She admits quietly, a beaming smile on her features. Izuku's heart swells at their words, despite the warmth crawling up his neck at the praises.
"So manly!" Kirishima exclaims suddenly, interrupting the awed silence that had settled over the class.
Shinsou's eyes are on him and he can feel the smirk from his seat next to the teen. He tries his best not to hit him. "I told you, you were a hero." The menace whispers in his ears, chuckling lowly as he ducks and avoids the hand coming to hit him on the back of the head.
They keep talking about Shadow for what feels like forever, all of them chiming in stories of rescues Izuku did over the years. Some they heard of in the news and some they saw firsthand. It's overwhelming really, all the attention and praise he's getting.
All this... this wasn't why he did all this. He never wanted the credit or attention. He only ever wanted to save people. It seems, in his life, he managed to do that much at least.
Feeling the need for some fresh air, he asks Yaoyorozu quietly for the way back out and she gladly ushers him to the balcony next to the hall they're studying in.
Once alone, he finally can breathe. Leaning against the railing, the cool metal is almost grounding.
The quiet both helps and doesn't, all at once. His thoughts rise once more to the surface, the emotions he's been suppressing break through.
The balcony's door slides open and someone walks out to join him.
He feels the new presence behind him, more than he hears it. The boy's steps are quiet, reminding him just who it is that stepped up to stand next to him.
"Not a fan of people?" Todoroki asks voice calm, no hint of judgment in his tone. Perhaps even understanding.
"Not a fan of this many," Izuku answers easily, gaining a hum from the boy next to him.
He feels strangely comfortable around the half and half teen.
"You seem different." He says after a minute of tranquil silence.
"Well, I'm not being hit by a car or getting fired this time, so..." He jokes but it falls short to his ears. The humor is almost forced.
"Yes. But I think it's something else." Todoroki says, his perceptiveness once again surprising Izuku. When Izuku doesn't respond immediately, he plows on. "You don't have to tell me, we barely know each other, after all. But from personal experience, it's better to talk to someone." His voice sounds heavy as he says this, as if his mind is a million miles away.
"It's noth-" Izuku begins to evade the subject but for some reason, he stops himself. "It's a little complicated." He begins, not knowing why he was even contemplating talking about this. He settles for being as vague as possible. "What do you do if you know something that changes everything but at the same time nothing at all?" He speaks quietly, voice barely above a whisper in the wind. "Do you tell someone or do you just go on like nothing ever happened?" He knows what he must sound like right now, his words barely even make sense to him.
Yet, somehow, Todoroki has the perfect answer.
"Well, this thing you're talking about, does it change things once that other person finds out?" He starts by asking. Eyes trained intently on Izuku until he gets a nod in response. "Then I guess it depends on whether you actually want things to change."
"I-I guess you're right..."
"Do you mind me asking what it is? You don't have to, but I was just curious." It's strange seeing the usually stoic Todoroki ramble.
"I don't mind telling you." Strangely, Izuku finds that it's the truth. That he really doesn't mind talking to Todoroki about this. The boy's calmness somehow helps him gather his thoughts into order. "As long as you don't tell anyone about it though..."
Todoroki nods seriously. "Your secrets are safe with me." He swears intently, no trace of deception in his tone.
"Mmm, well you see... When I was ten I got into a car accident with my mom. The same accident that killed her and made me lose my eyesight." He feels the way Todoroki stiffens from his place next to him, but he doesn't let it deter him. If he stops now, he won't be able to get it out. "What happened was that the chemicals that destroyed my eyes also affected my body." It's disturbing really, the calmness he feels while talking about it. "The doctors back then told me I had eight years to live and until this afternoon, I thought I still had four years left." He doesn't let himself feel for Todoroki's reaction. Instead, choosing to block his senses almost completely. "My doctor told me today that something changed." He says quietly, a sad smile unknowingly forming on his face. "I don't have four years. I have seven, maybe nine months left." And this, saying it out loud, make it even more real. It makes all the difference. Getting the words out there, letting them hang in the silence around them. "So, I guess it does change things huh?" He chuckles, the sound holds no trace of humor.
He feels the air around him getting colder and thinks he might know who the source is. He doesn't let himself think about it though. Instead, he makes his way back into the great hall, not noticing the outstretched hand reaching for him, nor the trembling of said limb. "Thanks for letting me talk about this Todoroki." He calls out quietly just as he's about to step back into the room. "Please keep your promise." With that, he leaves the teen behind.
If he'd bothered to let his senses expand around him, he might have noticed the spiky-haired blonde, hiding just behind the balcony's door. Having listened in on the conversation between the two boys.
Kira's note;
Thank you to all of you who are reading! I know i don't answer many comments but be sure that i'm reading all of them so thank you! And thanks for those who sent me fan art!!!