I don't want to lose just because it hurts,
But I'm holding a heart that's in tatters
How long is hurt a compromise
Until it becomes a bully?
I'm relenting, you keep using,
I've been on this path for so long now,
And you find it so funny,
But I'm not laughing out loud,
Because it's so stupid how I keep holding on.
I'm torn in two,
My mind is splitting apart
I wake up in love,
I'm drowning in pain
My eyes close in despair,
Hoping this wretched heart of mine learns to spit out your name,
How do I say I hate you,
When I haven't even begun to unlearn the idea of love you've taught me?
I wring my hands in desperation,
My nails broken and clawed,
But the mask on my face is flawless,
As you talk to your friends about how liberating our love is
My mind is scoffing,
My heart is preening,
And the tragedy of this life is that the door is right there,
But my feet are rooted,
My bleeding hands, in yours, planted like a stem choked by thorns
You won't let me leave,
I can't seem to leave,
You're all I've ever known.
— Is this hurt or is it love?
- A.A