Pregnant. Pregnant.
Elena let the test fall out of her fingers and faintly heard it hit the floor, bouncing twice before it became still. The entire house was silent and this allowed her to hear her terrified breaths escaping from her. Slowly, she bent down and picked up the test, placing it in the garbage can under the sink. Then, she sunk down to the floor and rested her head against the wall, closing her eyes.
It was too much, knowing this. She had spent the day convincing herself that she wasn't pregnant and now, a simple test proved that she was. Finding out wasn't the worst part either. Telling Stefan would be.
He needed to know and the sooner, the better. She hated knowing something like this when he didn't. Elena eventually pulled herself up from the floor and left the bathroom.
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Elena let herself into Stefan's hospital room quietly just in case he was sleeping. But he wasn't. "Hey" he smiled, patting the spot next to him on his bed. He could definitely go for another cuddle session.
Elena walked over to him but she sat in the chair instead. She thought about grabbing his hand, but then decided against it. "I umm, I need to tell you something" she said, avoiding his eyes like a child who was about to be scolded.
"Okay, what?" he asked, not liking her withdrawing behavior one bit. It made him nervous. Maybe she had been seeing someone in LA.
Elena swallowed hard. "I ... I ..." she hesitated. Then she finally looked at him. There was no easy way to say it. "I'm pregnant."
Stefan stared at her for a moment before laughing slightly. "You're kidding, right?" he asked her. "That's a joke, you're kidding" he said. But his laughter ceased when he realized she wasn't laughing with him. "Please tell me you're not serious" he told her, his eyes turning colder by the second.
It hurt. It really did. But she knew there was a chance he wouldn't be happy about it. "No. I'm not kidding" she said quietly.
His expression turned hard as he stared at her in disbelief. "I don't understand how this happened" he told her. "I thought we were careful" he said, running a hand through his hair.
"We were" she replied. "Just not careful enough apparently" she added.
"Apparently" he said, anger building up in his voice. "You know I don't want kids" he said, almost accusing her of doing this on purpose.
Elena was a bit taken back by that. "I know you don't" she told him. "I didn't plan on having a kid right now either" she said, feeling her own emotions begin to bubble under the surface.
"Well this is perfect timing" he mumbled angrily. "I'm lying in a hospital bed about to die and my so called wife tells me she's pregnant" he bit out, letting his hands drop forcibly onto the bed beside him.
Elena held back the tears that were threatening to spill. She knew he wouldn't be thrilled, but she didn't think he would be so hurtful. "I don't know what else to say" she said, moving her eyes back down to her lap.
"There's not much else you can say" he said, still visibly angry. "But hey, when I die, maybe Damon can raise this kid too" he said harshly. After all, Elena and Damon did share a kiss.
"Don't say things like that" she warned.
"Can you just leave?" he asked, turning on his side carefully to avoid her.
Elena nodded. "Yeah, I can" she said, standing and shoving the chair back so it scraped across the floor. She was out the door before he even had a chance to say another word.
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Buzzing. Obnoxious buzzing. Elena slowly opened her eyes, then sat up quickly when she realized her phone was ringing. She looked around, remembering that she had fallen asleep in Stefan's bed after taking the pregnancy test. She ran to the bathroom and looked in the trash. Yes. That part of her horrible dream was real. But as far as she could tell, she hadn't told Stefan yet.
Elena splashed water on her face and grabbed a towel to dry off. It was just a bad dream. Stefan would never treat her like that, would he? Sure, he'd be shocked. Maybe a little uneasy about it, but he would put on a brave face for her because she sure as hell was freaking out right now.
Elena remembered that her phone had been ringing and she rushed back to the bed to grab it. It was ringing again. Damon. Her heart stopped. Something had happened to Stefan. "What's wrong?" she asked panicked as she began running for the stairs.
"Stefan's doctor wants to meet with us all" Damon said. "Can you get here in the next twenty minutes?" he asked.
"Why?" she asked, beginning to panic even more. Was this it? Would she officially be saying goodbye to Stefan for good?
"I'm not too entirely sure. But I don't think it is bad news" he told her. "Just get here as soon as you can" he instructed before hanging up.
Elena grabbed her jacket and left quickly. Good news was something she needed right now.
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The doctor had just arrived as Elena pushed herself to the front of the small group of people in Stefan's room. Stefan looked somewhat pleased. With what, she didn't know. "Hey" he said, smiling even more as he reached his hand out for her. Elena bent down and gave him a quick kiss before backing up slightly to hear what the doctor had to say.
"Did you make an appointment" Caroline asked, leaning over and whispering in Elena's ear.
Elena thought about the test she took at home and shook her head. "Not yet" she said. "I will today though" she added.
The doctor cleared his throat and opened up Stefan's chart. "The reason I asked you all here is because we have news. Good news, actually. The inflammation has decreased significantly. We think this is because he has started to respond to the medication. He's also young and healthy, which helps" the doctor mentioned. "Now he's not out of the woods yet, but things are going in a much better direction." A collective sigh of relief seemed to fill the room. "We are going to keep him on the same medication at the same dose and see what happens."
Elena felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. While everyone else was turning to each other and hugging or kissing, she wanted to pass out, or throw up, or both. She hadn't been expecting this news. She had spent so much time and energy on preparing for the worst that she forgot to prepare for the best. A future with Stefan. Before she knew it, she was being pulled into a hug by Alaric and then, Caroline. Then everyone moved on to hug Stefan, leaving Elena by herself. No one had noticed the doctor and nurse exit the room.
Elena watched Stefan's family and friends shower him with attention and it made her smile. But she also knew that she had something to take care of and she needed to do it sooner rather than later since things were starting to look a bit more positive for Stefan.
Elena travelled up a few floors on the elevator, watching the lights light up along the way. When she stepped out, she was immediately surrounded by pregnant women or babies. To her right was a woman in a wheelchair looking as if the baby was on its way. To her left, a mother sat next to a father, both smiling down at the baby in her arms.
When she reached the front desk, a young girl smiled up at her. "How may I help you?" she asked cheerfully.
Elena found it difficult to speak. "I um, I need to schedule an appointment" she said nervously.
"Okay, are you a patient with us?" she asked. Elena nodded and gave her name. She was born in this small hospital and her father worked there on and off when they needed him. "Okay, and what is this appointment for?" she asked.
Elena nervously squeezed her hands together as the young girl, probably younger than her, looked up at her expectantly. "I um, I think I might be pregnant" Elena said quietly as if it were some dirty little secret she didn't want anyone else to know.
The girl nodded. "I can schedule you for tomorrow morning" she said, looking back up at Elena.
Elena bit down on her bottom lip nervously. "Is there any way I can be seen today?" she asked. It really wasn't something she wanted to wait for.
The girl typed a bit more before addressing Elena again. "I can squeeze you in in 20 minutes" she said, smiling warmly at Elena. "If you want to have a seat right over there, the nurse will call you over."
Elena thanked the young girl and went to have a seat next to a woman with a smaller baby bump. She was quietly reading a magazine. Elena tapped her foot nervously as she looked around the waiting room at all the pictures of babies. Nothing about this room eased her worries. She wondered if maybe she should have brought Caroline along to distract her.
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"Can you guys give us a minute?" Zach asked over the chatty group. Everyone looked at Zach and nodded before filing out. Zach took the seat in the chair next to Stefan's bed. "You sure know how to give us quite the scare" Zach said, smiling at his youngest nephew.
"I like the suspense" Stefan said jokingly.
Zach laughed. Ever since he had taken over as guardian for Stefan and Damon, he done everything he could to ensure that they were safe and happy. It was exhausting, being given responsibility of two young boys in the blink of an eye. "I'm relieved that you are doing better. We all are" he mentioned.
"Me too" he told him. "I hated seeing everyone so worried and upset" he added. It crushed him knowing that he brought about so much pain and could do nothing to stop it.
Zach smiled sadly. "Ever since you were small, you always looked out for others before yourself" he said, shaking his head. "And all I've wanted was for you to find someone who would look out for you."
Stefan smiled. "I did."
Zach smiled as well. "I know you did" he replied. "Elena has a good heart. I only wish that you two had met sooner so you wouldn't have had to be so unhappy for so long" he said, clearly referring to the mess with Katherine. Stefan looked down guiltily. "I know about you paying Elena to marry you" Zach stated.
Stefan sighed. "Yeah, I figured you knew" he said, looking back up at him. They sat quiet for a moment. "I didn't want to fall in love with her, you know" he stated. "She sort of made me though" he smiled, loving the feeling he got whenever he talked about her.
"I really like Elena" Zach said. "It's nice to see a girl who cares more about you than your money" he added with a smile. That had always worried him when it came to Damon and Stefan because both were so generous with their money. Katherine did nothing to put his mind at ease, either.
"She makes me feel happier than I have in a really long time" Stefan said.
"So does that mean she's sticking around?" Zach asked cautiously.
Stefan smiled. "I hope so" he said. He wanted to do everything he could to make sure he could keep her in his life. Even if that meant letting her go for a little while so she could do what she needed to do in LA.
"And kids?" Zach questioned.
"Yeahhhh, I don't know about kids" Stefan replied hesitantly. "I think Lily's enough, don't you?" he asked.
Zach shrugged. "Don't you want one of your own?" he asked.
Stefan sighed. "I don't know" he said truthfully. "I think Elena and I need to spend a lot more time together – just the two of us – before we think about having kids" he added honestly.
Zach smiled. "That makes sense. I'm just glad you're not completely against the idea" he said as he stood. "Speaking of kids, I should go and check on Caroline and Alaric. They've been getting awfully friendly lately" he added.
Stefan raised an eyebrow. "Those two? No way" he said in disbelief.
"Yes way. Lily and I caught them kissing" he explained.
Stefan sighed. "Well, I guess if they are happy, then I'm happy" he smiled. Zach just laughed at the thought of Caroline and Alaric together. "Hey, have you seen Elena by the way?" Stefan asked.
Zach shook his head. "No. I'll tell her you're looking for her if I see her though" he said.
"Thanks" Stefan nodded.
"Get some rest" Zach said before leaving.
Stefan took in a deep breath and then let it out. Babies were the last thing on his mind right now. Getting better and figuring out how to save his marriage with Elena were his top priority.
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"Elena?" the doctor asked as she came into the small room where Elena sat waiting on the bed. "I have your results" she said, flipping open her chart. Elena sat up even straighter. "You're not pregnant" she stated.
Elena felt like her heart had dropped into her stomach. "I ... I took that home pregnancy test" she stated. "And I was feeling sick and missed ..." she started to say, but stopped. "So I thought ..." she trailed off. It didn't matter. She wasn't pregnant. She should have felt relieved, but a part of her felt crushed.
"False positives are not uncommon" the doctor said, taking a seat and facing Elena. "Have you been under any stress lately?" she asked. Elena nodded. The move to LA and not talking to Stefan had been incredibly stressful for her. "That could very well explain the nausea and your missed cycle" she added. "Are you trying to get pregnant?" she asked.
Elena snapped out of her crushed feeling and looked at the doctor, almost missing the question. "No" she said. "It's kind of a relief, actually. To not be pregnant" Elena said, doing her best to sound convincing.
"You don't sound too convincing" the doctor said softly, grabbing her hand for support. "You're young and healthy Elena. You should have no problem conceiving when you are ready" she added.
Elena nodded, feeling a lump well up in her throat. "I'm just not so sure the other half of this equation feels the same way I do" Elena said, a little disheartened.
"Well, that sounds like something you two need to discuss" she said, patting Elena's hand as she stood. "Here's my business card. If you need to speak with me, feel free to call" she said.
Elena nodded her thanks as the doctor left the room. She sat there, puzzled by the swarm of emotions she was feeling. This was a good thing. A baby was not what she or Stefan needed right now. But then why did she feel so empty all of a sudden? And why did she feel like all she wanted to do was cry?
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Alaric was sitting in one of the waiting room chairs that he had moved into an aisle way next to the coffee table. He was checking his emails. He watched as Lily approached and inwardly groaned. That kid was always hovering like a little roach who you just wanted to squash because you knew she was up to no good. He was horrible , and he fully admitted it.
"Excuse me" Lily said, approaching Alaric. Alaric stood up to let Lily squeeze by and continue on her way. Instead, she crawled up on his chair and made herself comfortable.
"That was my seat" Alaric stated, staring down at her.
Lily opened the book she had been carrying. "Not anymore" she stated, beginning to read.
"You're a spoiled brat" Alaric said, fully realizing that he was being mean to a six year old, but not even caring. She could hold her own. She always had with him.
"And you're ugly. What's your point?" she asked, looking up from her book to stare at him. She had her mother's eyes and quite frankly, it scared him a bit.
"Why are you always so mean to me?" he asked with a sigh.
"Because you annoy me" Lily stated, going back to her book.
"Are you being nice?" they heard from behind them. They both turned to see Damon standing there watching them.
"Of course Daddy" Lily said innocently. "I'm just reading my book so I will be just as smart as you" she smiled brightly.
Alaric rolled his eyes. "Good God" he mumbled.
"I know Sweetie. I was talking to Alaric though" he said, turning to his little brother's friend. "You do realize she is six, don't you?" Damon asked, giving Alaric a hard time. Lily acted more like a teenager than an innocent child most of the time.
"Six and a nineteen twentieths Daddy" Lily reminded, flipping to the next page of her book. Stefan had helped her with a new fraction that better reflected her age.
"Yeah, six going on fifteen" Alaric muttered. Damon shook his head and laughed.
"I'm glad that Uncle Stefan hangs out with Elena. She's much more fun than you" Lily pointed out, staring back up at Alaric.
"See if I buy you a birthday present this year" Alaric scoffed.
Lily looked shocked. "You have to buy me a present. It's the rules" she stated matter of factly.
"Oh really?" Alaric challenged.
"I'll tell Uncle Stefan and you will be in trouble" she challenged back.
"Oooh, I'm scared" he said, rolling his eyes.
Lily looked over and saw Caroline walking their way. "Oooh look, it's your girlfriend" Lily teased.
Alaric straightened as Caroline approached. Then he glared at Lily. "She's not my girlfriend!" he warned quietly. Lily grinned. He was in total denial.
"Hey guys, what's going on?" she asked.
"Alaric is being mean to me" Lily said, giving Caroline the saddest eyes that she could.
"He is?" Caroline said, glaring at Alaric who looked completely flustered.
"Uh huh" she said, hopping off of the chair. "Where's Elena?" she asked.
Caroline looked around. "I'm not sure actually" she said, beginning to get worried. She wondered if Elena had scheduled an appointment yet.
"Caroline" Damon said, walking around Alaric and making his presence more fully known. "Do you think you can watch her for an hour or so?" he asked. "Katherine and I are going to ... play another game of hide-and-seek" he said, winking.
"Eew, gross!" Caroline said, covering her ears. "Don't tell me that!" she screeched, unfortunately knowing exactly what he was talking about.
"If she gets to be too much trouble, call Zach" Damon said, walking past her and leaving in a hurry.
"I never said yes!" she called after him. But he was already gone. "At least someone is getting some" she mumbled.
"You have to watch me because I'm adorable" Lily informed Caroline. Everyone wanted to spend time with her. It was a known fact.
"Yes, you are incredibly adorable" Caroline agreed. "What do you say we go across the street and get the biggest ice cream sunday you have ever seen?" she asked.
"I say yes!" Lily said excitedly.
Caroline smiled as Lily took her hand. "Do you want to go with us?" Caroline asked Alaric.
Alaric smiled. "Yeah, I'd love to" he said.
"Ahh man" Lily groaned. But Alaric chose to ignore it as he walked alongside Caroline. He even chanced it and grabbed Caroline's hand to hold as they walked. She didn't pull away.
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"Where have you been?" Stefan asked with a smile. He hadn't seen Elena since the doctor told them all the good news.
"Just had some stuff to take care of" she said softly. She walked over and sat next to him, taking his hand in hers. She stared into his eyes, noting how much more life there was in them. He was looking so adoringly at her that it made her feel like the luckiest girl alive.
But the crushing feeling was still with her since finding out about not being pregnant. One look into his eyes made her realize that she needed to talk to him about it. "I ... I need to talk to you about something" she told him softly.
He rubbed her hand gently, catching her attention. "Anything" he said just as softly, giving her a reassuring smile.
She took a small breath before she continued. "I took a pregnancy test this morning" she said, chancing a glance at his expression. His hand had stilled around hers and his smile slowly faded. "It read positive, but when I had a test done with the doctor this afternoon, it was negative" she told him.
He was quiet for a moment, digesting all that she was saying. "So, so you're not pregnant?" he asked.
Elena shook her head. "No, I'm not" she told him. "Thank God, right?" she asked. Elena went to pull her hand away, feeling the need to pull away from him, not only physically, but emotionally as well. Because she was hurting.
But Stefan tightened his grip around her hand, refusing to let her pull away. One look into her eyes was all he needed to see in order to know that she had gotten her hopes up. That she had wanted to be pregnant, but that she was scared of his reaction and what it would mean for them. She wanted a baby. And if he wanted her, he was going to have to compromise. "I love you" he said, making sure she was looking at him when he said it.
"I know you do, Stefan" she told him. She really did know that. "And I know you don't want kids" she said sadly.
"You wanted there to be a baby, didn't you?" he asked, searching in her eyes for the answer he already knew. He watched as a small tear rolled down her cheek.
Slowly though, she nodded. "I did" she told him honestly. Underneath all of the fear and uncertainty, she did want to be pregnant.
Stefan reached up and brushed the tear off of her cheek. "If you were pregnant, I'd be scared as hell" he admitted to her. Loving and caring for Lily was something completely different than having one of his own. "But I would love our baby as much as I love you" he told her, bringing her hand up to him to kiss not once, but three times.
Elena's tears fell harder as she listened to him. She nodded, telling him that she believed him. "I want kids, Stefan" she told him quietly.
Stefan nodded this time. "I know you do" he acknowledged. "And I want to give you everything you want – everything you need" he said, smiling at her. He meant it, too. "So, I'd like to ask that we wait a few years so we can spend a little more time together – just the two of us – before we have a baby" he told her, speaking honestly.
Elena's tears halted momentarily as she took in what he was saying. He wanted a future with her. And she wanted one with him. "Okay" she whispered, happiness filling her at the thought of having a family with him one day. In the meantime, she would get to spend time with him – time they hadn't really had with everything going on since they were married. She leaned forward so she could kiss him gently. She then rested her head against his chest, giving herself a break from the emotional toll the day had had on her.
"Okay" he whispered, kissing her hair and enjoying her closeness. He stared up at the ceiling for a while, rubbing her back as she rested against him. While he had to admit that he was relieved she was not pregnant, he couldn't help but smile at the thought of being a dad someday. He never doubted his ability to be a good one. And now, he didn't have to doubt the woman who would be the mother of his child. Or children. He smiled again, realizing that maybe he was open to having more than one.