Love..
This is an emotion that I can no longer express, not ever since my abandonment. The parents that I once thought had loved me obviously didn't, and the emotion of love.
It lied.
"Gray, wait here, we'll go get you some ice-cream.", they spoke with a seemingly caring tone.
And like an oblivious little six-year-old I happily responded with a simple, "Yes!" and a nod to reassure them.
Little did I know, that small conversation would be our last.
15 minutes passed, and I became worried. My parents hadn't returned, so I tried looking for them. However, at my size, I was easily over-whelmed by the mass-crowd. Being constantly pushed and shoved, I couldn't move, and my cries for help were droned out by the festivities.
I felt paralyzed.
Even though I was surrounded by many, I was isolated.
"Mama!! Papa!! Answer me!"
I cried for hours, repeating the same hollow phrase. I was scared, alone and felt betrayed. The idea of my parents abandoning me - it never crossed my mind. Pressing both my hands to my face, I screamed in agony, hoping that reality could be reversed, hoping that I was just experiencing a nightmare.
It began raining heavily. Finally gaining my composure, I looked for shelter. As I peered up at the night sky, with the pouring rain concealing my tears, I knew that this was reality.
I was alone, and no one was going to come back for me.
That day, I learnt that in this world, "love" is merely a label, and that
I was never loved.