☾
𝑆𝐼𝑋
For the last few nights, Anna had yearned for a dream, or even an image to fill her head as she slept. But nothing would come no matter how hard she pleaded. All she wanted, was to sleep. And more than that. She wanted to know how much of her life was an illusion of her own making.
Could it be called a crisis at sixteen? She had certainly lived enough for her to warrant the life experience of someone middle aged. But Ana was reconsidering everything? All of her life she had wanted nothing more than to be home, with a family, with people who loved her. But how much of the family did she know about? Had she been foolish to want such a thing. Yet at the same time, surely she was being foolish to contemplate such a thing over a single tarot card and one bad experience.
Out of everything though, Ana was just pleased to be a few hours away from seeing dry, unmoving land- something stable. They would arrive at mid day, according to Robert, on what exact day, she hadn't know. She had lost track of those weeks ago. Time didn't move the same while at sea. It was always the bad days that moved slower and the calm days, when their bellies were full and eyes rested, that time was swift.
With blurry eyes, Anna stood beside Robert as they looked out across the deck. She wasn't tall enough to see over clearly, so her feet rested against the metal bars of the ladder. At the far edge of her vision, she could faintly see the waves, serene and lighter than the depths they had sailed through over the past weeks, and not angry enough to sleep over the top and lick the deck.
"How long until we see it?" She asked.
"Perhaps half an hour?" Robert answered, but Anna had a feeling it would be longer, given that they could barely see across the boat.
"Get down."
Footsteps emerged from in front, a shadow quickly following across the wood flooring. Anna ducked down, urging Robert to follow as someone appeared from the corridor leading to the dining hall. It was Mr Elsner.
"We'll wait a little longer down here," Robert said, leading them down again.
Anna had grown to hate the silence. There was too much room for her to think, and after the past four weeks, it had become far too dangerous for her mentality. She looked to Robert. He always looked so content, so unbothered.
"Where will you go, when we arrive?" She asked, making him turn to look at her.
"To a workplace for builders, along the coast. That's why most of us are kept down here. Contracted to cheap labour."
They hadn't talked about it before. It seemed that most people would rather forget about the future until it became the present. It was hard to think about, she would admit, but only now did she understand the necessity.
"Why not stay in England?"
Robert sighed. "I need a fresh start. Something away from all the sadness and the memories."
She could tell from the simply way his eyes creased below the lid that the topic brought the man great sorrow. So, she skimmed around it, choosing merely to say "I understand," and let him carry on.
"What about you?" He asked.
"They're putting new with another family." Anna sighed. She had tried so hard to push the thoughts away that she had almost forgotten the fact, and it made her bitter. "Looks like I'm not escaping this time."
"Maybe it will be good for you," said Robert and she shrugged. "To have someone to take care of you properly."
"My mother could have done that. If they let me get to her."
She could feel his stare in the side of her face. He was judging her, not that he ever meant to, but she could still feel it, like a weight falling against her shoulders each time he looked at her like that. As if she was a child left at a doorstep.
"I'm going to peak a look."
Anna left him again to step up the silver ladders, her hair falling messily against her face as she peered over the deck. She held her breath as her eyes glazed over the hint of the horizon that could be seen past the railing. And there it was: land. It was barely more than a slab of rock against the entirely blue surroundings, almost blending into the skyline like an impressionist's stroke, from where she stood.
Sooner than she realised, they were docking. Anna's bag was tucked under her arm as she followed Robert up the steps, the sun pricking at her eyes as they were pulled onto the deck, joining the long string of shuffling passengers as they hurried down the ramp to the pier.
The first thing she noticed was the heat. It was stifling, layering sweat on her head within seconds of stepping into the open. But, god, it was brighter than she had ever seen before! Where was the clouds, the grey fog that hung over the cities? Where was the cool winds that swept the floors even on the warmest of days. Perhaps she would like Australia after all- not that she would be there long enough to find out, she had her family to think about.
Anna stepped out onto the ramp that lead from the boat. Her heart was beating in excitement, having spent so long stuck on the boat. They were finally leaving. Below she could see the shimmer of the clear waters brushing against the side. She edged forward as far as she could, desperate to see her first glimpse of the country other than the water, but a hand clamped around her forearm. She whizzed around, expecting to see Robert behind her, leading her to a shortcut, but she stared back at the glare of Mr Elsner.
"Not so fast!" He spat, yanking her backwards and out of the line.
"Let go," she said, attempting to tug her arm back as if it had all been a misunderstanding.
"Mr Elsner, what are you doing?" Mrs Lightwood appeared from the dining hall, her companions behind her as always and trailed by a worker, many suitcases trembling in his arms.
"This girl, owes me for the food and the clothes and the stay. Does she not?" He growled in answer.
"You tricked me! For that, I owe you nothing," Anna screamed, her arm still held tightly in his iron-like grip.
Robert appeared behind her, his teeth gritted and bared. "Leave the girl alone."
That made Mr Elsner laugh. "Or what? What's a person like you going to do?"
A wave of burning anger crashes through Robert like a stroke of heat. His hands were placed with pressure as his nails but crescents into his skin. He opened his mouth to bark a stern reply, but then Miss Bennet was speaking up, her puckered face pulled into far off smile.
"Mr Elsner, she was rather lovely," the woman said, as she glanced over to Anna with a kind gaze.
Before Anna could thank her, a whisper was made into her ear. "Anna. Run when I push your back."
"She owes me, and that is final. I will get back what you owe me through work." Mr Elsner glared her way, preparing to yank her back into the offices of the boat as the crowds continued to push behind her.
"You meant to do this all along!"
Anna bit back a frustrated scream. How could she have been so foolish!
"Mr Elsner, stop your bullying this instant!"
The shrill cry of her voice was enough to make even Mr Elsner falter.
"Mrs Lightwood, I-
"I have grown tired of this. No longer will I tolerate your business or behaviour. You no longer have my approval," she tutted, looking at her son in law with a glare before flicking a glance to Anna.
There was a sharp poke to her upper back and Anna almost missed the indication. But then she was turning away, casting a thanks to the three women before sprinting down the ramp of the boat, Robert hot on her heals.
Shoving through the hoards of people was easy when she had been so used to doing it with Will and Josephine. For a moment as she broke through the edge of crowd, harsh voices of complaints following her pathway, she could have sworn she saw the two waiting for her at the edge of the pier, edging to beckon her to the left. But then they were gone, swept away by the blockage of a lengthy family, that Anna only just managed to swerve around.
She felt the urge to turn her head, to stare back to the four people who had forced themselves into her life so easily. She was even surprised to find herself wishing well after the three women, who she had somehow grown fond of. She rather liked the abruptness of Mrs Lightwood's speech and properness of her actions. She envied Miss Bennet's soft nature and glowing features. And even Mrs Brandon- she admired her strong sense of loyalty, even if it had been misplaced until the end, but then Anna supposed she couldn't speak ill of that trait in the woman. She had trusted Mr Elsner at first, after all.
"Don't look back!" Robert's voice brought her back from her thoughts and she snapped her head back to the front in time to weave around a trio of heavy-looking business men, dressed up in shabby suits.
"I don't know where I'm running to!"
Her first glimpse of Australia had been nothing more than a blur of landscape flashing past her eyes as her legs worked hard to sprint from the harbour. It was nothing how she had wanted the moment to be. Her first time leaving England wasn't supposed to lead to her running away from something. It was here that she was supposed to be running back toward something- her true family, happiness, a better life. But now she was trapped in a country she had no notion of staying in, held in a place where she didn't know the destination around each new corner. It was torturous.
She had swiftly turned the corner, the one where she had imagined her old friends to be standing. It was if they were helping her, in some sort of supernatural way, guiding her to a pathway that would eventually lead away from the tricky who had wanted to trap her.
"There, stop here. They're not chasing us anymore."
It didn't take a word more for Anna to stop dead in her tracks, collapsing to the floor, messily landing on her bottom. Behind her, Robert was leaning against the wall, his dark skin gleaming with sweat. Her chest was heaving with exhaustion. How long had they been running? Not long ago, she would have been able to run away like that with ease. In fact, for a while, at least in Stafford, she had been the quickest of all of the kids on their street, outrunning the boys with minutes to spare. Running away had affected her in more ways than she had realised, she thought.
"Come on, I'll help you find your way," said Robert.
But Anna couldn't bring herself to move. She felt sick- whether that was from the exhaustion of suddenly having to sprint or the mental drainage that had occurred over the scandal of the last few week, she couldn't tell. Her eye were closed as she attempted to catch her breath, holding her hand up to signal a wait.
"Give me two minutes to catch my breath," she said, and Robert just smiled.
☾