TWO WEEKS HAD gone by since Paz has spoken to Theo. She had been avoiding the conversation with him, which lead to her avoiding seeing him at all. This also meant much less time spent with Pansy and Blaise, as the three were always together. Any meals in the Great Hall Paz either sat at the opposite end of the table, grabbed her meal to go, or didn't eat at all.
At the same time, Theo wasn't doing all that much to find Paz, so avoiding him was easy. It was obvious to Paz that he did not want to see her either, which slightly hurt her a bit, though she knew it was for the best.
Paz mentally cursed herself for ever thinking the two of them would work out. She reminded herself everyday that they were fighting opposite sides in the war, it would be Paz dueling Theo in the end. He wouldn't be by her side.
She was beginning to grow weary on the idea of Theo ever joining her. Paz wanted to believe there was good in him, she knew there was good in him, it was just the matter of whether or not he would stand up for himself and go against his family. It was the same for Pansy and Blaise, Paz was surprised the two of them haven't received Dark Marks yet. This was also a relief.
Theo's dilemma wasn't the only thing on Paz's mind the last few days. The Carrows had been cracking down on every single little thing since arrival back to Hogwarts, which meant most nights Paz, Ginny and Neville were sneaking around the dungeons, helping students escape.
Along with this, life without Luna was also proving to be extremely difficult. Paz loved Luna like a sister, and not having her around was very unsettling, especially because no one knew where she was. Most nights Paz has stayed awake, thinking about Luna, about Harry, Hermione and Ron, and every once and a while about her parents as well. She hadn't spoken to them in well over a year.
On this specific night, Paz was spending it in Ginny's room. She was hoping that with Ginny's presence, she would finally get at least one decent nights sleep.
"Any intel on Theo?" Ginny asks from her bed.
"Nope. I saw it though, his Dark Mark, at dinner the other day. I don't know what to do anymore Gin." Paz sighs, flipping over and burying her face into a pillow. "I want to give up."
"Don't say that," Ginny spoke harshly, throwing a spare pillow at Paz. "The war has barely begun, I can't have you giving up just yet."
Paz sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. She rubs her eyes, then glances over towards Ginny's bed. Ginny noticed the bags under Paz's eyes were darker and larger than normal. Her eyes were bloodshot, her skin was pale, she looked extremely ill. Ginny had never seen her at such a low point.
Ginny stood up and walked over to Paz, taking a seat next to her and wrapping an arm around her. Paz leaned into Ginny, feeling the tears that were threatening to escape her eyes. She blinked furiously, attempting to keep them from spilling out.
"I think I've really lost him this time, Gin." Paz whispers, doing her best to keep her voice from breaking mid sentence.
"Theodore Nott isn't your responsibility, you know him better than most, and you know he won't go against his family's wishes. There is nothing you could have done to change his mind." Ginny says, softly rubbing Paz's back in an attempt to comfort her.
"But I almost had him, I know it," Paz says, glancing up at Ginny, "I swear I did. If he hadn't gone home for holiday I know he would have joined us by now."
Ginny sighs, breaking her gaze away from Paz.
"You and I both know that's not true."
Paz shifts away from Ginny, staring towards her feet. She knew Ginny was right, though she did not want to believe it. She knew there was good in Theo. There had to be. Paz refused to give up.
As Paz got comfortable in bed that night, she began to plan on just how she was finally going to get through to Theo. Step one was actually beginning to speak to him again.
—————
After a long day of classes, Paz set off to the Slytherin house to find Theo. Despite seeing him at several points throughout the day, she preferred speaking to him alone and not in public. It would be easier, in her opinion at least, to keep his attention that way.
Upon entering the common room, she spots Blaise sitting near the fire and reading a book. Paz walks over to him.
"Have you seen Theo?" Paz asks.
Blaise shifts his book down, glancing up towards Paz.
"Why the sudden interest?" He asks, quirking his eyebrows.
"Why the sudden concern?" Paz retaliates.
Blaise sighs dramatically.
"In our dormitory." He says, before returning back to his book.
Paz does waste a second before walking up into the boys dormitories, knocking once before entering Theo and Blaise's room.
Looking over to Theo's bed, he is laying on his back with his legs crossed, she notices he is also nose deep in a book. It is then Theo's turn to glance up from his book, sitting up straighter once noticing who had entered the room.
"What are you doing here?" Theo asks, shutting his book and placing it on his bed side table.
"I was in the area, thought I'd say hello." Paz states dryly, taking a seat at the very edge of Theo's bed.
Theo pulls his legs in, crossing them as he sits up. He notices a difference in Paz's appearance. He can only guess she must be sick, that or she had lost hope completely. Possibly both. Theo couldn't help but think this was his fault for shutting her out so easily.
The two stayed quiet for quite some time. Paz picked at her finger nails while Theo awkwardly shifted his gaze from different objects in his room.
"I, I suppose I've been avoiding you a bit." Paz finally announces.
"Yeah, I've noticed." Theo answers back, looking towards Paz. She was now looking towards the ground.
"But you haven't bothered to ask why." Paz states, focusing on anything but looking towards Theo.
"I have a good feeling I know why."
Paz was unsure of what to say next. She had not planned on feeling this amount of heartbreak during this conversation.
When looking back down to her hands, she noticed the gold ring Theo had gifted her before holiday break. Her lips form a small smile.
"I wear the ring you gave me everyday, you know." Paz states, twisting it around her finger.
She finally glances up at Theo, noticing he is hiding a smile.
"That's good. My mum would be happy that you have it." He states, though both he and Paz know that is a lie.
"I'm sure your mother would much rather a prestigious, Pureblood to be wearing this ring. I think that makes me love it more than I already do."
Theo muffles a laugh.
"Why did you come here?" He finally asks. Paz sighs.
"Because it was obvious you weren't going to do anything to fix this, so that means I had to make the first move."
"Things can't go back to what they were a month ago, you know that Paz. A month ago wasn't even normal, there's no hope at this point." Theo states, frustration is evident in his strained voice.
"You're a good guy Theo, you have a good heart. You don't have to do everything your family expects of you." Paz comforts, though Theo was not having any of this.
"Easy for you to say. You've got people who accept you, who do I have? Who will accept me and take me in if I go rogue, huh Paz? When will you get that through your head? When will you understand that I'll never be the man you expect me to be." Theo states angrily, then pulling up his sleeve. "There's no going back now Paz. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't."
This had left Paz speechless. Right in front of her, Theo was openly displaying his fresh Dark Mark. The look of it made Paz sick to her stomach. Her head began to pound and she felt quite woozy. Despite looking directly at a Dark Mark, Theo's Dark Mark, the boy whom she loved, that was not the thing bothering her most in that moment.
"Who will accept you?" Paz asks, her voice barely above a whisper. She stands up, looking Theo directly in the eyes. "I would accept you. I had thought that would be enough for you, but I suppose I was wrong."
Paz begins towards the door, tears threatening to spill from her eyes at any given moment.
"Paz, you know I didn't mean it like-"
The rest of Theo's sentence was cut off due to Paz slamming his door behind her. She stormed down the stairs from the boys dormitories, walking directly past the girls dormitories and into the common room. She walks past Pansy and Blaise by the fire before exiting the Slytherin House.
Paz didn't know where exactly she was headed to, most likely the Gryffindor house, but her feet kept her walking down the long corridors.
She was so caught up in her own thoughts that she had not noticed Amycus Carrow until she had completely ran into him.
"Oh how wonderful, my favorite student out of bed past curfew." He smiles deviously.
Paz, unable to think straight, doesn't even put up a fight at this point. Amycus grabbed a hold of the collar of Paz's robes, forcefully dragging her down to the dungeons.
—————
The last thing Paz remembers before her vision going back was Amycus towering above her, throwing Cruciatus curse after Cruciatus curse towards Paz. She remembers hearing her own screams, seeing her own blood dripping from her body, and the unmeasurable amount of pain she felt.
Then everything had gone black.
As her eyes began to slowly open, she realized she was still in the dungeons, chains around her wrists. Her wand was unreachable, and the Accio charm wasn't an option in here.
Paz physically and mentally did not have the strength to bother finding a way out. She sat there, on the cold, dirty, blood stained floor, wondering what day it was. Had she been there for just one night? Perhaps just one hour? Possibly longer? She couldn't be too sure. All she did know was that she was starving, and that she was incredibly dizzy.
It was obvious she must have been in there for quite some time, because all of her new cuts and gashes had already stopped bleeding. Some even looked as if they were beginning to heal. There was no fresh pool of blood anywhere, just dried up.
Her mind wandered to Neville and Ginny, wondering what they were up to. Had they noticed Paz's absence? It was obvious they must have, though she didn't blame them for not coming to help her. The Carrows have been watching over the dungeons as if that is their sole purpose at Hogwarts, other than tormenting their students of course. The times Paz, Neville and Ginny had rescued some students from the dungeons in the recent weeks were all extremely close calls.
As the hours passed, Paz's body slowly began to grow numb. It was harder and harder for her to move her fingers around, to shift her legs into a more comfortable position, to move in general. Her eyes were growing heavier as the seconds passed by, and eventually, she gave into the darkness.
sorry for taking so long to update ! i'm hoping to get the next chapter out by friday of this week :). hope you enjoyed this chapter!
gia