Songs for this chapter:
• Easy - Camila Cabello
Chapter Eighty-Nine:
Lexi's POV
"I'm sad," I whisper.
Bryce raises an eyebrow at me. "Why's that, sweetheart?"
I sigh, because I'm pretty sure the answer is painfully obvious.
Nonetheless, I say, "Because this is my last night staying with you. And I miss you already."
It's the end of August, and it's hot outside. Really hot outside. But, the air conditioning in Bryce's apartment is on full-blast, and so it makes total sense for us to be curled up in bed together under Bryce's heavy duvet and that fluffy grey blanket that I love so much.
We're both naked, but nothing has happened between us. Not tonight, and not all summer. All we've done is kissed and kissed and kissed until our lips have gone numb, but even just kissing Bryce is such a wonderful feeling that I'm certainly not complaining. I seem to have picked up on his habit of sleeping naked, though, and so every time we've shared a bed over the past few months, we've been naked.
I honestly swear that there was no sex, though. I really do. And I certainly would not lie about something like this because God, I really wish that we've been having sex all summer.
But alas, we haven't.
Ugh.
Summer flew by far too quickly. I honestly can't believe that it's over. Though I know it would've been so much better if Bryce was still my boyfriend, I think that this past summer was still somehow the best of my life.
For starters, I got to spend so much time with my family. I loved being back home, and it made me realise just how much I miss Charlie and my parents while living in New York. I was so thankful for all of the time that I was able to spend with them over the summer months, especially because now I know not to take a single moment with them for granted considering that for the next few years while I'm attending Juilliard, I won't be seeing my family nearly as much as I wish I could.
All the days that I didn't spend with my family were spent with the Bradshaws. Sure, I hung out with Jordan, Jasmine, Ryan, and Daniel on some days, but I think I probably spent half my summer at the Bradshaw house.
Every moment with the Bradshaws made me so incredibly happy. I loved watching the love that Leo and Elena have, and I loved all of the days Bryce and I spent playing board games with Mateo and Vanessa. And I especially loved sitting down for dinner at Bryce's side at night, because that's really when I felt like I was part of the family.
I mean, the best part of being at the Bradshaw house is that I got to spend so much time with Bryce. That's sort of obvious, though, because he's Bryce. He's my best friend, he's my soulmate, and he's the one person in the world who really understands me.
So of course the best part of my summer was spending all of those days with him, whether we be curled up in the living room with Vanessa and Mateo or sitting on the dock in his backyard, reminiscing over all of the things that have happened between us there.
Well, we mostly talked about our first kiss. Which just led to us kissing again and again no matter how many times we had the conversation, our feet dipped in the lake water and our hands all over each other's bodies.
Summer's over, though. It was the most perfect summer I could've possibly asked for, but it passed by so incredibly quickly that my brain still hasn't really processed that I'm back in New York City, back to working at the cafe, and back to school in no time at all.
Oh, I'm also moving into my first apartment tomorrow.
Which is literally so terrifying that I'm just going to pretend that it's not happening at the present moment.
I'm excited. I really am. I get to continue living with Kennedy, which I'm happy about, even though I'd rather be living with Bryce instead. That's not an option right now, though, and so I'm trying to be more positive about this experience. I really am glad to be moving into my own place, because even though it's quite possibly the smallest apartment in the world, I'll finally have my own bedroom again, which is very exciting considering I shared a tiny, one-room dorm for many months last year.
We've technically already moved in, I guess. All of the furniture is already in the apartment—which isn't very much furniture at all because as I said, the apartment is seriously tiny—but our bedrooms are fully-furnished and so is our little living room. All of my personal belongings like my clothes are still at Bryce's place, though, and so I'm staying here, in his apartment with him, for just one more night.
I've been staying with him every night since we flew back to New York, and even though it's only been a few nights, I've become attached all over again.
Embarrassingly attached.
So attached that the thought of throwing a fit and refusing to leave tomorrow morning actually doesn't seem that absurd to me right about now.
"Hey," Bryce says gently, drawing me back to the present moment. "There's no need to talk like that. If you miss me, call me, and I'll find a way to be wherever you need me to be. You're also always welcome here, so feel free to stop by whenever you want, whether you need a hug from your favourite person in the whole wide world or if you just need someone to talk to."
I open my mouth to say something, but the small smile that Bryce gives me shuts me right up.
"No matter where our lives take us," he says softly, "I want you to remember that you will always be my number-one priority. Always. So if you ever need anything—and I truly do mean this—I want you to come to me. I can't promise you how different I'll be in ten, twenty years from now, but the one thing that will never change is how I feel about you, Lexi Brooks."
His words render me speechless.
I take a few moments to let it all sink in, because my heart is racing so damn fast in my chest right now as I try so so hard to think of the right thing to say in response to a declaration like that.
Eventually, I manage to whisper, "You really are, you know."
I watch as Bryce's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "I really am what?"
I glance downwards, at where our hands are intertwined on Bryce's thigh.
"My favourite person," I clarify. "You really are my favourite person in the whole entire world."
Bryce tilts his head to the side, as though considering this.
And then, his voice as faint a whisper as mine, he says, "And you're my favourite person. My favourite person in the whole entire world."
I lean in and I kiss his forehead, and the smile on his face when I pull away from him is bright enough to light up the universe. I smile back, and he leans in to kiss the tip of my nose. This elicits a giggle from me, which, by some miracle, just manages to make Bryce smile wider.
Suddenly, his voice quiet, he asks me, "What was your absolute favourite memory from this summer?"
I consider his question for a moment.
Immediately, I think of all the hilarious things that happened this summer. The first thing that pops into my mind is definitely the night where Vanessa and Mateo thought it was an excellent idea to get drunk off of red wine. Leo and Elena were out for the night, and so it was just me, Bryce, Mateo, and Vanessa curled up in the living room while Mateo and Vanessa drank directly from the bottle of red wine.
Neither of them really drink often, and so it didn't take much wine for them to become ridiculously giddy and giggly. Though Bryce and I didn't drink anything other that water that evening, it was still just as amusing to watch the two of them fumble around like idiots all night.
I think the highlight was definitely when Bryce and I had to drag them upstairs to bed later at night. Vanessa was pretty compliant, but Mateo, being a Bradshaw, was being unbelievably stubborn and refused to let Bryce help him walk upstairs. He instead tried to make his way out of the living room by himself, but after taking a few steps, tripping on the carpet, and falling to the floor, Bryce hauled him back onto his feet.
Mateo then proceeded to beg Bryce to give him a piggyback ride to his bedroom.
A piggyback ride.
And to my surprise, the night ended with me watching a scowling Bryce carry his younger brother on his back through the Bradshaw house.
Bryce and I tucked a giggling Vanessa and a just-as-giggly Mateo into bed together in Mateo's bedroom before we headed into Bryce's bedroom to curl up in bed ourselves. Unlike Vanessa and Mateo, though, we didn't pass out as soon as our heads hit the pillow.
Instead, we made out for probably an hour, rolling around in Bryce's bed with our hands all over each other.
We did pass out after this, though. I drifted off to sleep while on top of Bryce's chest with his hands in my hair and his face in the crook of my neck.
I'm just about to open my mouth to answer Bryce's question until another thought pops into my head.
And so instead of saying that my favourite memory was the night we spent laughing at our drunk friends, I say something else.
"My favourite memory was Leo and Elena's wedding. Everything about that day was magical, but my absolute favourite moment was probably when we danced together. That was the happiest moment of my summer," I whisper.
Bryce tilts his head to the side.
He then whispers, "Me too."
A moment passes by that we spend simply staring into each other's eyes with small, satisfied smiles on our faces.
And then, Bryce leans in to kiss me, the kind of kiss I can feel all the way down to my toes.
🌸🌸🌸
Bryce's POV
"Breakfast is ready, sweetheart!" I call out, hoping that Blossom can hear me from where she's still curled up in my bed.
I got up a little while ago to make pancakes for us to eat for breakfast, but I thought I would allow Blossom to sleep in for a little bit longer as I cooked. She really does need to wake up now, though, partially because I want her to be able to eat her pancakes before they get cold but also because we really need to finish packing up her things so that we can move everything into her apartment this afternoon.
I wait a few moments for a reply, but when I don't get one, I sigh and head into the bedroom, assuming that she must just be still fast asleep and therefore unable to hear me.
I had left the door open a crack this morning when I got out of bed, and so after I make my way through the apartment and towards the bedroom, I'm able to push the door open pretty silently.
I pop my head into the bedroom to find Blossom curled up on her side with her back to me, exactly how I had left her this morning except for the fact that she seems to be wearing one of my T-shirts now, no longer naked.
I would've immediately assumed that she's still asleep based on the position that she's in, curled up in a little ball under the duvet, if it weren't for the fact that I can see her shoulders shaking from here.
I feel my lips turn down into a frown. "Blossom? Honey? It's really time to get up now. Come on. I made you breakfast."
Still, no response.
I let out a sigh, pushing the door open a little farther, far enough open that I'm able to step through the doorway and into the bedroom. I keep my footsteps as light as possible as I approach the bed, and I make sure to sit down slowly and only on the very edge of the bed when I take my seat beside Blossom, doing my very best not to startle her.
I reach out to gently stroke her soft, silky hair. She merely buries her face deeper into the pillow, which makes my frown deepened.
"Baby? It's okay. You can talk to me. Is something bothering you? I don't want you to hide from me," I tell her gently, my voice barely above a whisper.
I wait for a response, and still, Blossom says nothing.
But because of my silence and our close proximity, I finally hear it.
She's crying, and she's using the pillow to muffle her sobs.
I feel my heart clench in my chest.
Fuck.
"Blossom? Talk to me. Please," I whisper, not
bothering to hide the desperation in my tone.
Blossom must be able to hear how desperate I am because finally, she rolls over to face me, pulling her face away from the pillow.
I first notice that the pillow is damp from her tears.
I then notice the expression on her face.
And she looks completely, utterly, broken.
Her cheeks are flushed and stained with tears, her eyes red and swollen. Her bottom lip is trembling, and though I noticed her shoulders shaking earlier, I now notice that her whole entire body is shaking.
Apart from the hollow, empty look in her eyes, I think the worst thing about the scene in front of me is the sound that Blossom's making right now.
It's somewhere between a whine and a sob and a whimper and Jesus fucking Christ, it feels like someone just repeatedly stabbed me in the chest with a butcher knife because that sound is the worst thing that I've ever heard.
"Fuck, Blossom. What happened? Sweetheart? What's wrong?" I ask her hurriedly, reaching out to carefully take her face in my hands.
I tilt her chin up, forcing her to meet my gaze, but she immediately diverts her gaze down at where her own hands are resting in her lap, shaking.
She continues to make that horrible sobbing sound.
"Blossom," I repeat. "What is happening, baby? Talk to me."
Blossom shakes her head, and at first I think she's being defiant until I realise that it's as though she wants to shake her thoughts out of her head.
"No," she whispers. "No, no, no!"
My eyebrows furrow What the fuck is going on in her head right now? Was she having a nightmare before she woke up?
Thankfully, Blossom finally looks me in the eye and begins to say something that actually makes sense, for once.
"I don't want to get out of bed!" she sobs hysterically. "I wish I never woke up! I want to go back to sleep!" Another sob. "I'm just so tired!"
I watch as she pulls her face out of my hands, throws her head back, and lets out a wail. It's truly the most upsetting thing I've seen in a very, very long time.
"Oh my fucking God, Blossom. Jesus Christ. I . . . What the fuck is happening? Why don't you want to wake up?" I ask her, trying to hide my confusion.
Because Jesus fuck, I am so fucking confused right now.
Blossom let's out a particularly loud sob that makes me wince.
And then, she says, "Because as soon as I wake up, today begins. Today begins, and today is the day that I'm moving. I have to leave you today, and that's the last fucking thing in the whole world that I want to do. I want to live here forever. With you. My boyfriend. Mine. But now I have to leave you forever and . . ." She takes a pause when she chokes on a particularly hard sob. "I don't want to leave you. I want to go back to sleep and wake up again tomorrow morning in a world where we're still together. A world where you still love me and where you want to marry me and have kids with me and . . . And . . ."
She then buries her face into her hands and starts to wail even louder.
And God, I've never felt more helpless.
I give her a few moments to herself, letting her curl up into a little defensive ball. I stroke her back gently as she cries and whimpers and cries some more, her shoulders rattling with sobs as she tries her best to calm herself down.
"Breathe, sweetheart," I whisper. "Take some deep breaths for me."
Though it takes some time, she eventually manages to steady her breathing. For a few minutes, I let her simply breathe, not bothering to say anything to her until, blessedly, she stops weeping.
"Hi, sweetheart," I say gently.
She slowly looks up at me, and I watch as she unfurls from the ball that she's tucked herself into. When her eyes meet mine, they're still glassy, but no new tears are running down her cheeks now.
"Hi," she responds in a whisper that sounds almost like a croak due to how hoarse her voice had become.
I give her a small smile, reach out to tenderly brush her hair back behind her ears and out of her face.
"I hate to see you this upset, habibti. Let's talk about whatever's going on in your head right now. Why are you really having such a hard time getting out of bed this morning?" I ask her softly.
She sniffles. "I wasn't joking," she says quietly. "I really don't want to get out of bed because I don't want today to happen. I'm not ready for it. I want to stay in bed so that I never have to wake up and leave your apartment. I want to stay here with you forever."
My frown deepens
I brush my thumb against Blossom's lower lip, and I can't help but to notice the way she shivers.
"Hey," I whisper. "This isn't our last night here together. I wasn't kidding last night when I said that you are more than welcome to come stay here whenever you'd like. Today, we're just going to pack up your things and move them to your apartment so that you have your own space. We can put some clothes to the side that you can leave here for if you ever suddenly want to come over and spend the night with me, if you'd like. But today is a happy, exciting day for you, because you're moving into your first apartment and that's so very special. I don't like seeing you ruin your day by overthinking like this."
Blossom allows my words to sink in for a few seconds.
Then, she says, "I'm sorry."
I feel my eyebrows furrow. "Don't be sorry. There's no need to apologise. Seeing my girl upset just makes me incredibly sad. I know that this is going to be a big change for you, and so let's just take it one small step at a time. In a minute, we're going to get out of bed, eat breakfast, and then we're going to pack up the rest of your stuff. We'll move everything to your apartment today, and I'll help you get everything set up. Then, if you'd like, we can come back here for the night and you'll get to sleep here again already. Does that sound all right, baby?"
Blossom nods at me. "Yeah. That sounds . . . That sounds good. Thank you, Bryce. For everything."
I lean in and I kiss her forehead. "There's no need to thank me. You mean the world to me, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for you."
Blossom smiles the slightest bit at this, but she doesn't make a move to actually get out of bed.
And so I say, "I made you pancakes for breakfast. With chocolate chips."
Her eyebrows fly up. "Really? You did?"
I nod at her.
She lets out a little squeal, and I can't help but to grin as she practically flies out of bed She even starts to bounce up and down on the balls of her feet as soon as her feet hit the ground, as though the words "chocolate chip pancakes" are the best words she's ever heard.
I stand up from where I'm still seated on the edge of the bed. I'm just about to reach down and take Blossom's hand in mine before I think of something.
I glance down at Blossom, at her flushed cheeks and her messy hair and her wide, hazel eyes.
"I think you need a hug," I say quietly.
Blossom giggles and nods at me.
And so without another moment of hesitation, I pull her into my arms and I hug her so damn tight.
A/N: This chapter made me so unbelievably sad. Ugh. I nearly cried writing it but I was sitting with my family and so I had to try really really hard not to cry :(
I just want to write happy chapters, but I know that that would get boring, and so here we are. I think the next chapter might be happy, though. I'm honestly not sure yet. Lol. I still have to decide.
Anyway, thanks for 200k reads on this book! I love y'all always <3