"Look!" Miki's shrill voice sounds atop of the reverberating music, devilish red eyes glinting as she holds up a small, plastic object. "I found a lighter discarded on the floor. I wonder if there's any gas in it?" She twiddles it around in her hands, almost as if admiring it, before clicking the top in attempts to ignite a flame. It kindles momentarily, before almost immediately burning out, causing the redhead to pout in dissatisfaction.
I roll my eyes — only Miki could catch sight of a dropped lighter in a room full of people. Honestly, it's probably been trampled multiple times at this point, and that sounds pretty unhygienic if you ask me. "What are you even hoping to do with that damned thing anyway? Set someone alight?" Sometimes I can't help but wonder how that girl's brain works.
Miki narrows her eyes and tosses the lighter aside. "Well, if anyone had a pack of cigars I'd be totally willing to light one of those bad boys." She tilts her head, long red hair mimicking the movement and falling over her shoulders loosely. "Though, now that you mention it, I saw Lily earlier with her cheer team. She'd make a great target, don't you think?"
IA leans back in her seat, grabbing her drink and taking a long gulp. "I speak on Luka's behalf as well as my own, and I have no objections." She side-glances me momentarily, though I avoid eye contact, instead casting my gaze down to the floor.
The performance went pretty smoothly. Dancing onstage wasn't as magical as it used to be, but I suppose it was still pretty fun. Nostalgia hit me like a truck the moment I stepped onto that stage; the blinding lights, the cheering of the audience, the echo of the music through the speakers, and the pure happiness I felt as a little girl with big dreams.
The day is slowly drawing to a close, and my friends and I are hanging out at the after party, laughing, chatting and — you guessed it — getting drunk out of out minds. Drunk Miki is even more chaotic than sober Miki, if that's even possible; with a bottle of vodka in her hand, she's a walking tragedy waiting to happen. Meiko's a heavy a drinker as it is, so it takes a lot of alcohol for her to feel the effects, and IA? Well, she's most definitely a philosophical drunk, and after a sip of cider, she believes she is the modern day Socrates. Her loud and sometimes unwanted condescending opinions have landed her in one or two scuffles, but that's a tale for another time.
Yukari and Ring are the only two within our circle that have earned the title of "not a complete idiot whenever a bottle of alcohol is present". Ring refuses to drink, and Yukari manages to control her portions just right without completely losing all self control. As for myself, I suppose I'm a mashup of all types of drunk, and that can either be a blessing, or end in total disaster and a terrible hangover.
Thoughtfully, I rest my head in the palm of my hand, deep thought enveloping me whole. My prior lack of enthusiasm slowly faded away over the course of the day, and all in all, it's been fun. Interesting, to say the least.
My mind wanders back to the blue haired girl from earlier — Miku, was her name? Seeing her break down from the anxiety she was bottling up really broke my heart, and in a way, she reminded me a lot of myself only a year or so ago. When I transferred schools, all of a sudden I was thrown into the spotlight. Girls would look up to me, attach themselves to me, want to be me, and at first, it was nothing but overwhelming. On top of that, an exorbitant amount of pressure was placed on my shoulders from my parents — they wanted me to strive for perfection, and set me unrealistic goals that only caused severe anxiety for months. They never provided me any sense of comfort, only expectations I could never reach, and to an extent, that hasn't changed.
My mother wants me to lead the childhood she never lead, hence why she stuck me in dance class and wants me to achieve the best grades possible for every minor test I sit through. It's almost like she wants the best for me, but for her own benefit rather than mine; after all, she wants me to be intellectual and successful, but my happiness and mental wellbeing has never seemed to have crossed her mind.
Sometimes it really gets me down, but slowly, that initial overwhelm from the attention that was showered on me by those around me within school walls disappeared, and I found myself loving the attention. I finally felt like I belonged within a family; I guess I can be a bit of an attention seeker at times, especially seeing as attention is something I've never had from my biological parents. It fills a void within my heart — but there's still a hole that aches daily.
Losing Lily meant I lost someone I loved dearly, and someone who I thought loved me dearly. At the beginning of the relationship, she showered me with attention the way I showered her, and I craved that badly. I wanted to spend my every waking minute with her; she made me feel complete, strong, and most importantly, wanted.
But that all crumbled away, and it still hurts like hell. Though I'm now more confident than I was, and to an extent, maybe even more independent, I still can't help but desiring that feeling one again, that consolidation of actually mattering to someone, and being loved for the person I really am; I'm sick of playing people-pleaser.
I miss her. So, so much.
I'm brought back down to earth by a pale hand waving frantically only inches away from my face, and I blink hard before jerking away. I look up to see Meiko peering down at me, eyes narrowed. "Earth to Meg!" Her words are slightly slurred.
I sigh and shake my head vigorously, irritation building up within me. "Sorry, I guess I zoned out," I mutter an apology before snatching a nearby bottle and downing it whole, trying to forget about that stupid blonde whore. The much needed drink is bittersweet, and after a moment I pull away breathless, a strand of salvia still connecting my lips to the bottle. My friends watch me silently, eyes glinting with concern.
"You alright, Luka?" IA asks, pushing her own drink aside and peering at me. "Something on your mind?" The question is like nails on a chalkboard, and I inhale a sharp sigh.
"I was just thinking about something," I say quickly, before changing the topic of conversation and looking at each of my friends in turn. "Do any of you know who that girl from earlier was? The one with teal hair?" Leaning back in my seat, I close my eyes momentarily, trying to recall our earlier exchange. "I think her name was Miku."
One by one, my friends shake their heads, glancing between each other. "I've never seen her around before. Whatever happened, though, I really hope she's okay now," Yukari pipes up, thoughtfully playing with a strand of lilac hair and letting out a small sigh. "She seemed really distressed."
"She'd been separated from her two friends and had no way of contacting them to ask their whereabouts," I explain quickly. "Luckily they managed to find her; blonde hyperactive twins who seem to be a year younger than us. Just in time, too, because next thing I knew, they'd ran off and I was being called for casting." A faint smile appears on my lips as I recall the event, and the grateful smile the girl flashed me as her blonde friend dragged her away, cerulean orbs glistening, cheeks tinted ever so slightly.
Miki nods her head slowly. "It seems like you really helped her to calm down though. Hats off to you, but..." her voice tails away, and she takes a swig of vodka before flashing us a drunken grin. "I'm bored of the sentiments, let's party!"
=====
That evening, at about 8:30pm, I find myself stumbling up the driveway back home, my footing clumsy, eyeliner smudged, and a massive smile plastered across my face. I grab the keys from my pocket, the tiny object glinting in the dim moonlight, before shoving it into the keyhole and practically falling into the house.
"I'm home," I call into the silence, before kicking off my shoes and hanging up my coat, the occasional annoying hiccup escaping my lips. Though I seem to get no response, I can hear a number of voices sounding from the kitchen. I pause almost immediately — I don't recognise the voices.
Curiously, I head up the corridor and let myself into the kitchen, stifling a yawn as a sudden wave of exhaustion crashes over me. I guess I'll sleep well tonight, at the very least.
Three pairs of eyes immediately bore into me; my mother, who looks pretty excited, a woman who looks her age with short dark hair, and lastly, a guy with long purple hair tied into a sleek ponytail. He seems to be slightly older than me — his jawline is defined, his posture is proper and purposeful, and his small eyes match the colour of his hair, a pretty purple the colour of amethysts.
I blink hard, wondering who the fuck these people are. It's a valid question, isn't it? It's not everyday you see modern day Jesus Christ wearing white robes with long hair the colour of an eggplant standing in your kitchen. Slowly, I fixate my questioning gaze on my mother, who's lips are spread into a wide smile.
"Luka, dear, what wonderful timing! This here is Lady Kamui, and her son, Kamui Gakupo. Such a handsome young man! They have only recently moved in next door, and I thought it'd be magnificent to introduce ourselves and make them feel most welcome." Her eyes are wide as saucers; I guess the title 'Lady' intrigued her to no end.
I glance at Gakupo. He flashes me a friendly smile, to which I return it hesitantly. "Nice to meet you," I say quickly, a stubborn hiccup escaping my lips as I speak.
The woman bows her head, before turning to my mother and smiling. "I am indeed grateful, Megurine-san, though I hope you'll excuse us. We still have lots of unpacking to do." With that, they filter out the room, my mother gushing about how it's been a pleasure and yadda yadda. I stare after them, watching as my mother bows politely and waves them off, before closing the door primly and looking over at me, eyes lit up, unable to stop smiling.
"That young man really is quite something, don't you think? He'd make a lovely little boyfriend to you." She goes on about Gakupo this and boyfriend that; every word she speaks is like a knife to my side.
"Mhm." I really cant be assed to deal with this right now, so I just smile and nod along with her. "He seems great. Though, please pardon me — it's been a long day."
Suddenly seemingly dissatisfied, she shoots me a stern glare. "Is 'cool' all you have to say? How many times have I told you to drop this slangy nonsense? And you haven't even told me about the recital. How did it go? Were you front and centre? I hope you didn't miss a beat — this convention may have opened up a lot of doors for you."
"It was wonderful." I speak through gritted teeth; this facade is hard to keep when her every criticism makes me want to scream. "Though I'll tell you about it tomorrow. Please excuse me." With that, I turn on my heel and rush upstairs, wondering how much longer I'll be forced to keep this act up.