It was the next morning when Jin could feel his own gaze burning himself from the mirror that he stood before.
The pink colored sweatshirt that he had brought months ago on a whim during his online shopping spree (but never got to wear it for obvious reasons) hugged his tall body just perfectly.
He could feel the sewn purple hearts that were patterned on the left side of his attire as he dabbed on the place gently, seven little hearts designed on just where his own heart would be.
The cotton material was soft on his skin. A simple form of outfit that he had to pair with his ashen gray trousers, as he couldn't find anything of a lighter shade even after ransacking his whole wardrobe.
He stared at the black fringes on his forehead, his own serene eyes, lips that were a bit chapped and face that did not show much of an expression.
It was the first time he had worn something of a lighter color; his favourite color, in years and he could not feel anything looking at his reflection.
It was just him, still him. And he wondered if his love for pink had vanished like the maple tree on August's lawn that died years ago, surprisingly right after August and his family moved out.
Letting out a small exhale Jin crouched down and opened a drawer of his white dressing table and stared at the miscellaneous objects strewn across there.
With a bite on his lower lip, he hesitantly pulled them out. A pair of chapsticks, a bottle of foundation and compact powder, a small makeup box.
It had been so long since they were lying down there that Jin was not sure if their dates had already expired or not.
Heaving another breath he was holding in, Jin stood up. Avoiding looking at the mirror this time, he left his room, and he left the door slightly ajar though the hesitation was starting to cripple up to him again.
Holding his throat in a choke, ropes around his muscles and shackles on his bones, chain latching onto his spine and he himself caged in a metallic prison.
The things that he had carefully hidden from everyone and himself could be out in the open now, albeit not all of it. Jin was a vast person, like every other individual.
But some of those hidden sides were the very thing that constricted his throat, sometimes pulverizing him in a harsh grip.
Then Namjoon's words flashed by Jin's jumbled up mind. "It's who you are."
Leaving the door be, he walked towards the kitchen where the aroma of a fresh dish he had just cooked lingered around, paired with the musty smell of rain that was incoming from an open window of the living room.
The dumplings Jin had made were enough to feed seven, even though they were mainly made in the thought of making nice with Taehyung after the fight the other day. The first thing Jin noticed was that Namjoon wasn't available in the dorm, albeit Jin so wished he was.
Next he knocked on the youngest bedroom and after a minute of some shuffling sounds, the doe-eyed boy opened the closed door. The room was so silent that Jin thought he was absent too.
The eldest could not help but scrunch his nose a little at the mess that laid beyond Jungkook, his bed unmade and blanket rolling on the floor. Only a black laptop could be seen in the horror that was once, a bed.
"Yes, hyung?" Jungkook's white tee was on his body inside out, as if the boy had just thrown it on himself before opening up.
"You've got a delivery. I signed the paper and kept it beside the door." Jin tried to focus on how the boy's eyes grew larger as he clamped a hand on his forehead, rubbing off his sweat.
Jin could only guess what he was doing there with the laptop, young boys and hormones. "And I've made dumplings, do you want some?"
Jungkook took a step back, as if ready to clasp the door shut again. "Could you save some for me hyung? I am a little busy right now."
The apologetic look with a sorry of an excuse made Jin want to throw off a snarly comment at him, poking on what he thought Jungkook was doing alone in his room but Jin stopped his urge and only nodded a yes.
Next, Jin found himself sauntering towards Jimin's room to invite both Jimin and Yoongi to the kitchen table but sadly, Yoongi was not there and the other young boy was listening to music by himself. With wide eyes Jimin agreed to taste the dumplings.
Then it was Taehyung's room. And Jin could only loiter around for a bit before knocking on the door because truthfully, he was guilty. And he did not find it in himself to face Taehyung.
Yet when he knocked he was glad to find the blue haired opening up. Immediately Taehyung looked down on the floor and from behind a hollering Hoseok danced his way through, before draping a hand over to Taehyung's shoulders.
"What are you cooking? I swear I can smell it from here," the curly haired said gleefully with his pearl teeth open in the view.
Jin swallowed down the lump that was forming in his throat and decided to voice out. "Do you want dumplings? I made some."
"Yes!" Hoseok cheered, Taehyung still silent in his dreary expression. But he followed anyway where Jimin and Hoseok had already made their way onto digging through the dish that laid right in the middle of the kitchen table.
Jin noticed how Jimin's concerned eyes darted to Taehyung who was dabbing a piece of dumpling in the sauce then putting the whole thing in his mouth.
The pitter patter rain had started to fall outside, the whirring sound of the wind whirling around the silent room. With the tap tap noise only a very distant sound of music could be heard coming from the floor above, the old tune molding itself to the sound of the rain and the wind and Jin could feel himself getting immersed to it.
"Wow, you cook so good!" Hoseok was the first one to break the silence. When Jin looked up Hoseok had his whole face scrunched, hands up in the air and fingers dancing to the rhythm of the old song.
His mouth moving as if he was slowly chewing to savour the taste. "If this goes on I might get fat again."
"You were chubby, hyung?" Taehyung spoke for the first time, a genuine curiosity on his face and Jin could feel his own shoulder loosen a little.
Hoseok nodded popping another piece on his mouth using his chopsticks. "Whele I was a teel," he could barely speak until he gulped the food down. "I used to weigh hundred kgs."
"You don't seem like it," Jimin said in a meek voice and Hoseok shrugged.
Putting the matter aside Jin decided to put his other thoughts into the slowly forming conversation. "You're barely in the dorm. I did not think I'd see you today."
"I had volunteer work at a orphanage," Hoseok gave his signature pearly teeth smile. "But that got postponed for the rain."
"It's raining for the last time in a while, the news said," Taehyung muttered looking down before looking up to Jimin who was sitting at the opposite side.
Slowly his eyebrows scrunched up, a taut expression on his face. "Hey, little finger! Don't you think you can slow down a little?" He hissed making eye contacts with Jimin then back at the dumpling. "You're finishing it all!"
Jimin almost gave an eye roll, which did not get unnoticed by Jin. The elder found him barking back. "Really? I think you ate four in the last minute," he puffed up his cheeks before letting go. "Alien!"
"Can you two assholes let me eat in peace?" Hoseok chimed in and the rest turned to find him giving a blank expression, the muscles around his jaw tight.
It was silent again for a second save for the music of the rain outside, and the song from the second floor that sounded a bit louder.
"Are you drunk hyung?" Taehyung stared at Hoseok in awe, slowly with that the latter's face fell. "I mean, you don't normally cuss unless you're drunk."
"Ah." The curly haired boy had a hand rubbing the back of his head as he visibly deflated on his seat, his shoulders shrinking and emitting a gloomy aura that was so unnatural coming from him. "Sorry."
"Just eat all you want, all of you," Jin sighed. "There's a lot left."
A smile slowly adorned his feature, Jin could feel the corners of his mouth tugging when he saw Hoseok returning to his cheery self, the younger too digging in again and bickering between themselves.
Jin wondered if this was fake too, if this smile on him was forced. But it came so naturally, and his heart was humming with the old music, resonating with it joyfully.
"The landlord has a nice music taste," Jin whispered to himself but Taehyung caught up.
"It's an old song called la vie en rose, which means life in pink," the blue boy commented gazing up at Jin.
For a moment Jin could feel his heart wrenching, but it wasn't the same suffocating, constricting feeling he'd sense all the time. As if it was a warm nostalgia leaking inside of him and melting the chains, shackles and the ropes that were binding him on the inside.
"Nice shirt though, hyung," Taehyung added and Jin finally tasted it, the life in pink. He finally realized he was wearing his favourite colour, and he was not ashamed of it.
Jin felt the material on his skin, yet it did not weigh him down but felt like it was making him lighter than a bird. "Thanks," he found his hand caressing the purple hearts on his chest again involuntarily.
"Can I wear it someday?" Taehyung chirped, the disdain on his expression long gone and he only showed interest, passion.
Jin exhaled and tipped his head back. "No," answered he.
"Serves you right!" Jimin laughed out loudly.
Taehyung puckered up his lip, pouting. "Only for a day, please!"
While Hoseok was patting Taehyung's shoulder with a wise look on his face and Jimin continuously taunting the blue boy, Jin found himself laughing too.
If he were to choose this 'life in pink', as in to choose himself, the real himself, only hardship would come.
Though at that moment nothing mattered, because for the first time in years Jin felt like it was really him, it was Kim Seokjin and none other.
---
A/n: guess whose arc is next.
I think you might not guess it correctly this time. But let's see ;)