Frank held his breath when he heard keys jingling in the door. He mentally crossed his fingers and hoped that Ryan wouldn't blow his top when he found out what Frank had done. He knew that Ryan was going to react one way or another, but Frank did hope that Ryan would just roll his eyes and just mention how Frank was being 'Frank'. But this version of Ryan wasn't the real Ryan, this was Frank's own in-head creation who far differed from the original. Unfortunately, Ryan in Frank's head was more okay with his body modification choices than the one who had opened the front door. Frank hoped that real-life Ryan would be a little bit more chilled about the upcoming discovery.
"Hey, sweetheart." Ryan called out when he let himself in and dumped his keys in the bowl by the front door. He made his way into the kitchen and set his brown briefcase down, "Are you home?"
Frank didn't entirely know how to respond. He knew that whatever he said to Ryan right now was going to be affected by his swollen tongue. He didn't want to ignore Ryan but he also didn't want to draw attention to himself. He didn't want to make Ryan curious as to why he was talking like Sylvester the Cat.
"Hey, dude." Frank finally called out from the sitting room and waved his hand when Ryan's head popped into view. Frank winced lightly at his own voice and was so glad when he noticed that Ryan hadn't heard any difference just yet. Ryan walked into the sitting room and saw the water bottle.
"What did I say about this?" He sighed as he walked over to the coffee table and picked up the bottle. He pulled a tissue from his pocket to wipe the surface of it, "I don't like it when you drink straight from the bottle. It's our water. Can't you just pour some into a glass like a normal person?"
"Thorry." Frank apologized, wondering how long it was going to take Ryan to notice his speech. Any moment now. Frank knew it. Ryan did notice it and he paused for a moment, still holding the bottle in his hand. He looked like he was about to go and put the water bottle back but he stopped halfway into turning. He frowned at Frank and Frank just stared back, noting how he could literally see the cogs working in Ryan's head.
"You okay there?" Ryan asked curiously and Frank felt like a deer in the headlights. Shit.
"Mm-hmm." Frank nodded, his hand instinctively coming up to his mouth to hide it. Even though his mouth was closed, he felt the need to shield himself. He felt like Ryan already knew, even if he didn't. Frank hoped he didn't. But he was going to find out.
"What is going on with you?" Ryan pushed further when Frank covered his mouth, "What are you doing?" Frank tried to play it off, he tried to play it cool but it clearly wasn't working for Ryan. Frank tried to be more casual about it and not be as obvious about his mouth. Ryan squinted and went to bat Frank's hand away but Frank intercepted and Ryan frowned, "Honestly," Ryan snapped a little, seemingly losing his temper and getting a little annoyed with Frank, "What is going on? What are you hiding from me?"
Frank knew that there was no getting around it now. He knew from the moment he had gotten it done that it would happen. But he had hoped that there would be some gap before Ryan would get into his business. Who was he kidding though? Ryan was going to notice pretty much from the word 'go' and it looked like he was already super close. Even if he didn't notice the way that Frank had a lisp, then he was going to notice the piercing one way or another. Frank sighed and rolled his eyes before he moved his hand. There was a second of pause before he just opened his mouth and showed Ryan his tongue.
"Oh my..." Ryan started as he brought his hand up to his mouth, clearly unable to finish what he had wanted to exclaim. His eyes went wide with shock, staring down at Frank's swollen tongue and the metal bar that was stuck in it, "What have you done?"
"Goth my tongue pierthed, dude." Frank stated the obvious as he gave Ryan a small smile because even though Ryan was about to explode, Frank was still ecstatic over his choices.
"When did you-" Ryan began but stopped, sighing as he shook his head, "Do I really want to know when you got that done?"
"Thith morning." Frank told him proudly.
"Jesus..." Ryan groaned, shaking his head again, turning away from Frank for a split second before he looked back at him, "I assume this was done after you spoke to Congressman Way?"
"No I goth ith done in the middle of the intherview- of courth I goth ith done afther that, Ry. Do you think I'm thath thtupid?" Frank snorted out sarcastically. He wasn't that stupid. If anything, Ryan was being stupid with his questioning. He had been with Frank right up until the point that he went into the restaurant to meet he congressman.
"I honestly don't know with you right now," Ryan sighed at him and folded his arms across his chest, "From where I'm standing, it looks that way. Sounds it, too."
"Tho, you think thath I'm thtupid?" Frank shot his question back, feeling the annoyance rising in him. The tone in his voice changing even though the lisp was doing a very good job at masking it.
"I honestly don't know now," Ryan raised his voice a little, clearly getting just as annoyed. He turned his nose up, "You look ridiculous."
"I look ridiculouth?" Frank scoffed, "Nithe to thee thath you approve of ith, noth thath I needed your approval buth y'know, having a thupportive boyfriend ith alwayth nithe, dude."
"I am supportive of you," Ryan insisted, "Just not when you decide to have parts of your body pierced without saying anything to me."
"I don'th have to thay anything tho you!" Frank snapped, "Ith my body and I can do whath I wanth with ith."
"I would never tell you what to do with your own body," Ryan sighed because Frank was now getting defensive. It was the kind of defensive where Frank really fought in his corner. He was stubborn as hell and when they both got to the point of arguing, Ryan knew that Frank would not back down easily, "I just wish that you would say something to me before you go and get so impulsive with your choices."
"Whath?" Frank shot back, "Do I need permithion from you before I go do anything thath involvth my own body now? Thorry, Ryan, ith ith okay if I go tho the bathroom? Can I go thake a leak? Can I do thath without having to conthult you?"
"Now you're just being ridiculous."
"I'm being ridiculouth?" Frank snorted as he finally got up from where he had been sitting on the sofa. He hated the way that Ryan would look down at him when they argued sometimes. He needed to be on the same level or he felt like Ryan was going to get his way. He was the one being ridiculous now because Frank knew that he was a grown man and he could do whatever the hell he wanted to without having to check in with his boyfriend, "Tho, noth only do I look ridiculouth, I'm now being ith, thoo?"
"Don't blow this out of proportion-"
"No," Frank stopped Ryan instantly, "You were the one tho blow this outh of proporthion when you firth saw ith."
"Then why were you hiding it from me?"
"Becauth I knew exacthly how you would be. Dude, you never juth thmile and go 'oh thath nice. If it makth you happy, Frank, then be happy'. No, if Ryan dothn'th like ith then no one can have ith."
"I just," Ryan closed his eyes as though trying to calm himself down, "Some of them look good. But you're a person, not an impulsive pin cushion." Frank also knew why Ryan disliked it. All the germs and bacteria that would get into it because of where it was on Frank. Frank scoffed unhappily and put his hands on his hips, looking away from Ryan, "Look, Frank, I understand that you like to modify your body and yes..." Ryan trailed off, seemingly holding his tongue and it only upset Frank even more.
"For god thake, Ry," Frank whined, wanting to hit his head against a wall because Ryan was trying to be so parental about it and that was just pissing Frank off more, "I am noth a pin cuthion. It lookth cool, dude."
"Frank... For shit sake," Ryan snapped, clearly angry with Frank now. Ryan wasn't usually one to swear unless he was either furious or having sex with Frank. And both boys knew that the latter was definitely not happening any time soon. That was more on Ryan's side than Frank. Frank would always secretly hope for some angry sex or even some make-up sex but no, Ryan would take his sweet time to first forgive Frank before he would even kiss him again.
"Yeth?"
"I can barely understand a word that you are saying."
"Noth my problem, dude." Frank shrugged, brushing Ryan off far too casually which only annoyed him more.
"I just don't get how you can consider this action as a good life choice," Ryan pushed on, making Frank roll his eyes again. It was all about choices for Ryan. Perfect choices that made everything so much easier for him. If Frank was to disturb it in any way then all hell would break loose. Like right now; his was something that Ryan clearly didn't like and here he was, spouting off his opinion. Frank knew it wouldn't change anything "It's clear that you can't speak properly which is going to affect you at work." Ryan narrowed his eyes, "How do you think this is going to affect us?"
"Ith thouldn'th affecth uth ath all!" Frank insisted as he threw his hands up, "How could ith pothibly?"
"Well," Ryan snorted with his arms folded across his chest, "Don't you dare think I'm kissing you with that thing all swollen and disgusting in your mouth."
"Ith noth dithguthing!" Frank snarled, seeing red almost instantly. Frank couldn't even form how angry he was at Ryan. All and every of his words had begun to fail and Frank found himself flapping, searching for the best response to what Ryan had said, "Dude, I can'th believe you're being like this! Fuck thake Ryan, you're such... I can'th- God, why do you have tho be thuch a queef over all of thith?"
"I'm not being-" Ryan stopped, cut off when he realized what he had been called. The room fell silent while he processed what Frank had just said. The word finally hit Ryan and he blinked at Frank in shock with his mouth open. There was clear disbelief plastered across his face and something akin to humor in his eyes. Ryan was gobsmacked that Frank had spat when he spoke. The spit had landed on Ryan's paisley shirt and it must have physically hurt the germaphobe so much.
Ryan grabbed another tissue from his pocket, wiping off his shirt before he threw the tissue away in the trash by the coffee table before he turned to Frank, "Did- Did you just call me a queef... And spit on me?"
"Maybe I did," Frank spoke, feeling smug over the fact that he had silenced Ryan in the middle of all of this stupid argument, "Tho whath? You're being a thothal dick abouth thith, dude."
"And you sound like you have a dick in your mouth."
"Oh," Frank laughed at the rich statement that had come from the man who made it his sole vendetta to ban oral sex in the household, "Like you'd know."
"Low blow, Frank..." Ryan shook his head and tutted his tongue because clearly to Ryan, Frank had gone below the belt and it was probably childish.
"Thomething of a foreign conthept tho you..." Frank shrugged cooly. He didn't care about what he said now because Ryan had started it. And Frank was going to end it one way or another. If it meant that he was going to get personal then so be it. Nothing and no one, including Ryan, was going to make Frank feel bad over what he had done.
"God sake... I can't talk to you when you are like this," Ryan groaned, running his hands through his hair before he paced the sitting room, "And now when you sound like this."
"You think this ith fun for me?" Frank questioned, "I have ath leatht a week of thith."
"Not my problem." Ryan mimicked what Frank had said minus the lisp with a smug smile on his face. Frank wanted to make Ryan literally eat a pillow. He scowled darkly, "You shouldn't have gotten it done then."
"Well, thankth for being the thupporthive boyfriend." Frank thanked Ryan sarcastically, smiling back curtly, his fists clenched. He could not cope with how Ryan was being. If it meant that he was going to have to sleep on the sofa again then he would more than gladly do that. He would put up with the uncomfortable sleeping positions and the whole body aches when he woke up just to prove to Ryan that he was being ridiculous about it. It was Frank's choice to make. Not Ryan's choice to decide if he could go ahead and have his tongue pierced or not. He scowled back at Ryan, "I hope you can cope with the facth thath I'm going to thound like Thylvethter the fucking cath for the nexth week."
"I'm sorry, I just-" Ryan stopped and a small smile pulled at his lips before he let out a small laugh. Frank frowned at the laughter but it didn't stop Ryan in the slightest, "With what you said and how you sounded, that was funny."
"Ith noth funny." Frank pouted.
"No, it really is," Ryan giggled, his anger slowly ebbing away now, "And I'm sorry, but I'm not a queef."
"You acthed like a queef."
That just made Ryan laugh more, as much as he was annoyed, the way Frank sounded was funny, "Can you hear yourself?"
"I can, ith annoying, dude."
"No, it's funny," Ryan reassured him. The way he sounded had pretty much nullified how Ryan felt. Frank had actually stopped the arguing. A rarity. Ryan smiled with perfect teeth, "Honestly, I'm not being mean or anything. You're just making me laugh."
And as much as Frank wanted to be annoyed about the fact that Ryan was laughing, he couldn't be. The way Ryan laughed was somewhat infectious for Frank. If he laughed then Frank knew that eventually he would be laughing, too. Slowly he was calming down and once he was, then he was laughing along with Ryan, finally finding humor with his temporary speech problem as the two of them calmed down completely. Frank would have laughed properly, but with the fact that his tongue was swollen, it was hurting just to even move his tongue. The painkillers hadn't gotten rid of all the pain yet and laughing was just making it worse, which Ryan picked up on.
"You okay?" He asked, looking at Frank with concern on his face.
"I'm fine," Frank waved an insistent hand at him, "Juth hurth to do anything thath involvth moving my thongue."
"Well, you did get a metal bar jabbed through it." Ryan stated the obvious, making Frank roll his eyes
"Thankth, I hadn'th notithed..." Frank snorted before he sighed, looking at Ryan, trying to keep the peace but also get Ryan to not be him over this, "Please don'th fighth me on this, dude."
"I never want to fight with you Frank," Ryan said honestly, earnestly, "I just wish you had said something to me first. Warned me before I came home and found you like this... Lisp and all."
"Fine, nexth thime I dethide tho geth thomething done I'll thell you," Frank promised him, "But you can'th thoot me down either. Ith my body and yeth, if I wanth to be a human pin cuthion then... Thupport me?"
"Depends on what you're getting pierced next..." Ryan narrowed his eyes at Frank, looking him up and down as though he was mentally trying to visualize what Frank was going to do next.
Frank made it look like he was deep in thought, hand on his chin, "Dude, I wath thinking of gething a gooch ladder nexth."
Ryans eyes went wide and the color practically drained from his face, "Please, tell me you're joking..."
"Of courthe, I'm fucking joking Ry," Frank laughed and tried to ignore the pain from doing just that, "I'm pulling your leg. Just chill, pleathe, dude?"
"Okay." Ryan nodded, his brunette curls bouncing somewhat as he walked closer to Frank and gave him a hug. No more fighting. Frank hugged him back tightly, smelling the sweet musk of his cologne as he buried his face into Ryan's neck.
"Now theeing ath I haven'th theen you thinthe this morning, can I have a kith?" Frank asked with a smile. The last kiss Frank had gotten from Ryan was before he got out of the car. It was a long time to go without such a simple act of affection that he loved. Frank wanted to kiss and make up, show Ryan that after everything, they were still okay.
Ryan winced though, pulling back a little even though Frank was still holding onto him, "With that open wound in your mouth. No, God, what if it's infected?"
"Ith only juth been done. Ith noth infecthed," Frank reassured him, rolling his eyes at Ryan's squeamishness, "Juth thtop being a baby and kith me."
"But... Frank..." Ryan squirmed, clearly not convinced.
"I'm not going to thtick my thongue down your throath, dude. I juth wanth a kith."
"Fine," Ryan gave in despite looking uncomfortable. Frank knew that if Ryan was really worried, which he probably was, he could just go upstairs and clean his teeth. Ryan pursed his lips, "But if I get sick then I'm blaming it on you and your tongue."
"And who thayth romanthe ith dead?" Frank smirked before he finally got his kiss.