Good Bye
I got up as soon as I heard Charlie's car leaving. I had an important ahead so I wanted to take advantage of the time on my own at home. I had a hurried breakfast and went back to my bedroom to finally start with my plan.
Leaving Forks.
Of course that was the easiest part of my plan, because leaving people behind was a completely different thing. I had gone through that many times in my mind but I had decided that the best way to do it was to make it quick and impersonal. You can call it cliché but a goodbye letter was the best option I found.
I took my suitcase from under my bed and began throwing things inside. Summer clothes – as I already knew where I was heading – pictures of my family and friends, a few books and my savings. It was not much but at least I had the money that was aimed for university and I already had a good idea to get some more once I lived Forks. It would hurt a lot, but I needed it.
I looked around my bedroom trying to think about the things I would need. It was painful to realize that that was the last time I would be there, in the room where I had grown up and that had witnessed the beginning and the down of my romantic life. I immediately remembered that Edward had taken all the things that could remember me of him, so I had nothing left to bring with me. Anyway, maybe it was for the better. I had promised myself I would pursue my own happiness, so what was the point in bringing painful memories with me?
I shook my head to put those thoughts away and went to the bathroom to pick up the last things I needed. When I finished packing I went downstairs and sat in the kitchen table with two sheets of paper and two envelopes.
I remained silent looking at the blank paper in front me for a while. I was sure this was what I wanted, what I needed. Leaving. But suddenly I had run out of words.
How was I supposed to let my parents know I had decided to abandon them?
I told myself this was the best way, so I took a deep breath, grabbed the pen and began writing.
Charlie and Rene,
By now you must be wondering where I am and why I haven't answered your phone calls or emails. The first thing I want you to know is that I'm okay and that you don't need to worry. I decided to leave Forks for once and I'm not even considering the idea of coming back. I need you to understand that it has nothing to do with you. You have been the best parents I could have asked for and, even though leaving you really breaks my heart, I prefer it is this way.
I'm not the same Bella I was some time ago. Forks changed me a lot and I'm sure it changed me for the better. The life I want for myself is not here nor in Phoenix but really far away, so I beg you not to blame you or anyone for my decision.
If I still have some right to do it, I have to ask you a last favour: please take care of you, of each other, and don't look for me. If we ever meet again maybe I will look like the daughter you once knew, but I won't be the same.
From the deepest of my heart, I will always be grateful for what you did for me and the great life you gave me.
I love you more than anything.
Bella
I got up from the table to get a glass of water. I was sobbing and tears were falling down my cheeks. I took some minutes to recover as writing the letter had been definitely much more difficult than I had imagined. And yet, it was not over.
I went back to sit at the table, grabbed another blank sheet of paper and wrote.
Cullen family,
I'm sure that by now you must be aware of my plan as Alice must have seen me decide. However, I'd really appreciate you don't try to stop me.
I guess I cannot leave without apologizing. I know my arrival to Forks and to your lives had its consequences, mostly negatives I'm afraid. I know a written apology won't change anything, but I'm sure my departure will definitely bring peace to your family.
I will never be able to thank you for how much you took care of me and my family. You treated me as one of you from the very beginning and I will never forget that. Even in the hardest times when I was completely devastated all of you were there for me.
I'm sure you know why I'm leaving and where, so again I ask you no to follow me as it would be a risk for you. From now on, I'll be on my own. If it helps you not to worry, you have taught me all I need to know to be in charge of my own safety.
I will always remember you and I honestly hope someday our paths will cross again, and maybe then I won't be a threat anymore.
From the deepest of my heart, my love to all of you.
Bella
I took a minute to recover again and put the two letters into the envelopes. My duty was done but then I realized I was missing something.
Edward.
I knew that I would never get to see him again as he had decided that for both of us. Yet, a part of me knew that there was a remote chance I got to say goodbye to him too.
I went to my bedroom and took a new blank paper and an envelope. I sat in my bed and let all my love and anger go with my words.
Edward,
I have no idea where you are and if you still think of me, but I think that after everything we went through, I deserve a proper chance to say goodbye.
I'm leaving Forks and I'm not coming back. This place reminds me a lot of you, of us, and that is something I can't tolerate anymore. Maybe your family will contact you to stop me, but I forbid you to do so. You made your decision some time ago. Well, this is mine.
Even though I have the sensation I cannot feel anything at all anymore, I'm sure my love for you is buried deep inside me, but still intact. It has taken me a lot of effort to understand that I won't ever see you again, so I can only wish you the best. I don't know if we will ever meet someday, but to be honest, I hope not. You were and probably will always be the love of my life, but you hurt me so much with your decisions, not once, but twice.
This letter may never get to you, but just in case, I wish you a happy eternity. I'll look for mine alone.
Please, take care of you and of my heart that you took along with you.
With my eternal love,
Bella
I signed the three envelopes and grabbed all my stuff and the keys of my truck. I left the letter for my parents above my pillow and whispered goodbye as I closed the door behind me.
As I made my way downstairs my mind seemed to react to my actions and did me a favour. The switch of my emotions was suddenly turned off. I took a last look at my home and pressed my hand to the wall in a silly attempt to say goodbye. I opened the door, hid the two remaining letters under the entrance carpet and ran to my truck. Once inside, I texted Alice:
"I left something for you under the carpet of my house. Love you, B."
No more explanations were needed. I turned my truck on and drove away as I tried to enjoy my last minutes driving between the woods under a cloudy sky.
I would soon see the sun shining bright in my new life.
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I want to apologize for this chapter. English is not my first language so I'm sorry for the possible grammar mistakes I made. Also, I'm terrible al letter writing but I'm sure you already noticed that.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did. Please vote and comment for the next update!
Love, Agus