*FOUR MONTHS LATER*
***
"Okay," Vanessa wrapped Mark's Seattle Grace Mercy West coat around his shoulders and he turned his head to smile at her, "I'm gonna go say goodbye to the others."
She walked to the small group of people and they all turned to her as she approached. She started on the left, hugging Lexie tightly.
"Have a safe flight - have fun in the surgery. Don't let the others dumb you down." She advised and Lexie nodded, smiling.
She hugged each of the people in turn - including Arizona because she had taken Alex off of the case - and turned to Mark who was stood behind her. He smirked at her and she reached up to kiss him.
As she pulled away she placed her hands on his chest, "I have a really bad feeling about this." She admitted and Mark moved his head down slightly to catch her gaze.
"Everything is going to be just fine - promise." He kissed her again before joining the rest of the group and walking away and out of the hospital.
Vanessa took a deep breath in and tried to breath through the wave of panic she felt was about to wash over her but she knew there was nothing she could do as she walked quickly away to a bathroom and threw up in the toilet.
She wiped her mouth and walked to the sink, washing her hands and drinking some of the water coming out of the tap. She leaned on the counter and looked into the mirror. She saw the tears leave her eyes and then she felt the tightness in her chest as she gasped for air but couldn't find it.
The stress of not knowing - the uncertainty - was getting to her and she just needed to calm down. She imagined Mark there and she could almost feel his touch on her back. Her breathing started to slow and she wiped her eyes on the back of her hand as she heard the door opening.
"Vanessa?"
"This is the girls bathroom, Karev." She sniffed and he walked up to her, pulling her into as tight of an embrace as he could with her eight-month-pregnant belly.
"They're all fine - they're gonna ace the surgery, come back and everything is gonna be fine. They even managed to move it up so that it wouldn't be near the due date - so in a month you will be here with Mark, ready to give birth - with him." He assured her as he pulled away from the hug and held her at arms length.
"Yeah, you're right."
***
"Matches. Yes, God. Finally. Fire. We can build a fire." Cristina picked up the box of matches.
"We should. They'll see a fire. Let's get a fire started." Meredith agreed as she worked on Derek's hand.
"Yeah, Mark. We need- we need to start a fire," Cristina called, "Mark! Mark! You have to help."
"I-I'll figure out how to get it started." Meredith offered.
"No, no. You know what he doesn't get to do this. He doesn't get to stop helping. I'm sorry he's thinking about leaving his family - Vanessa and the kids - but we all have people and we're still helping. He has to help because the sky is falling, Mark." Cristina yelled, walking over to Mark.
"Cristina." Derek tried.
"No, no, no. You know, if there's one thing that I've learned with all the-the bombs and the guns to my head and-and the buses running down my friends is that I am not interested in dying. I want to get out of here, and I want to go home. And everyone has to help. Mark, get up. Get up and help, Mark," Cristina placed her hand on Mark's shoulder as his head started to fall, "Mark? Mark? Mark?"
She laid him down on the ground as she ripped his shirt open, "Oh! Oh, crap. Mer!"
Everyone gathered around Mark as Cristina placed her head to Mark's face, trying to listen for any breathing sounds.
"It's cardiac tamponade." She announced.
***
Vanessa was sat in the lounge with pretty much everyone else. They were all talking and laughing - doing their best to distract Vanessa from her anxiety and the feeling in her chest.
She pressed a hand to her chest as the pain gradually got worse and a pain started in her jaw. She moved it a couple of times to try and get the ache to go away but nothing would help it. Everyone was too engulfed in their conversations to notice her moving strangely and she decided it was nothing - just her worries playing tricks on her mind.
"Vanessa?" Owen called from across the room but she didn't look up at him, instead zeroing in on the pain she felt in her chest and trying her hardest to stop it with her breathing but even that became harder.
Her breathing became gradually more and more shallow and her world began to spin as her muscles felt like they were too heavy for her body.
"Vanessa?" She heard in the distance as the pain in her chest increased and she fell forward and off of the sofa she was sitting on, being caught by Jackson who had reached over at just the right time.
Owen laid her down on the floor and placed his head near her face, listening for breathing sounds and he brought his head back up, looking at everyone who had crowded around her.
"I think she just had a heart attack."
***
"I'm going in, um, subxiphoid. Knife." Meredith muttered as Cristina sprayed Mark's skin and Meredith used the knife to cut into Mark. He groaned and Derek tried to calm him down.
"Okay. Needle." Meredith called and Cristina handed her the tubing from a perfume.
"Here. Here you go, Mer. Try not to move, Mark. Try not to move." Cristina spoke as Mark started breathing heavily.
"Easy, Mark. It's okay. Don't move. It's gonna be okay - think about getting back to Vanessa." Derek soothed as Meredith started to place the tube in him.
"Aim for his left shoulder." Cristina advised and Meredith shifted the tube slightly.
"Wait. Don't puncture his heart." Derek sat up to watch her place the tube in.
"I know, I know, I know." Meredith braced herself before pushing the tube in. Mark groaned again and tried his hardest to keep the image of Vanessa in his head but she kept disappearing under new waves of pain.
"Deeper." Cristina ordered as no blood had come out yet. Meredith pushed it deeper and Mark let out a cry as blood poured out of the tube and onto the ground.
"Good. Excellent. That's it. That's it. That's it. Great." Cristina praised as they stood up.
They placed a bag by his wound to allow the blood to drain into it. Mark rolled his head around, turning it from side to side to try and deal with the pain. He conjured up an image of his family and tried his hardest to keep it there.
***
"Her heart stopped - start massaging the heart." Owen ordered and Jackson placed his hand on her heart - Vanessa's actual beating heart - and started to rub it gently, coaxing it back into beating again.
"Baby's having late decels - needs to come out." Alex shouted over everything as he grabbed a scalpel and re-opened the wound from Vanessa's previous C-section.
"Why does this girl always seem to have problems while she's pregnant?" He mumbled to himself and he heard Jackson chuckle slightly despite the situation.
Alex reached in and expertly drew the baby out - carrying it quickly to be examined. Owen stopped looking at the heart as he watched his sisters baby be taken away, not hearing a cry.
"Come on, baby." Alex muttered as he pressed on it's chest softly until an ear piercing cry echoed through the O.R and everyone let out a breath they didn't know they were holding.
"Baby girl Sloan." Alex commented as he left, rushing the baby out of the OR to check everything was okay - his job was done.
"Dammit, come on Vanessa." Jackson shouted as Vanessa's heart didn't start again.
"There's nothing more I can do in regards to the heart attack - everything seems healthy there's no logical reason as to why her heart is doing this." Owen sighed as Jackson grabbed the defibrillator and placed the rods on either side of her heart, trying to start it up again.
***
Vanessa woke up, gasping for air as she sat up and looked around her surroundings. She was in an empty OR and everything had a sort of haze to it that she couldn't quite place.
"Hello?" She called out and she felt a presence behind her. She turned around quickly and gasped, placing a hand over her mouth as tears sprung to her eyes.
"Vanessa." He breathed, running forward and picking her up into a hug, spinning her around. His embrace was tight and something she had missed about him since he died.
"Three kids, huh?" He questioned, still smiling just from seeing her.
"Yeah," She breathed, unable to look away from his grey eyes, "I'm so sorry, Jamie." She pulled him in for a hug, crying into his neck as he held her the way he always did.
"You have to leave - you can't leave your kids parent-less." He whispered in her ear and she pulled away.
"I'm dead, right?" She asked and Jamie nodded his head.
"You have to leave." He repeated and she shook her head.
"I want to stay here with you."
"Dude. I told you that you shouldn't have come - now look what you've done." A large smile etched across her face as she turned around to see Charles.
"You need to go back - for the three kids I never got to meet." He smiles at her and she furrows her eyebrows.
"But if everyone is here why would I go back?"
"Mark isn't here," Vanessa's heart burned at the sound of his name, "Amelia, Charlie - your baby girl - they aren't here. Owen isn't here, Alex isn't here, Derek, Meredith, Cristina, Callie, Arizona, Jackson. They're not here."
"What happened to me? I was healthy, I-"
"V, when I tell you this - you don't freak out." Jamie warned and she hesitantly nodded her head.
"There was an accident - a plane crash," He took a deep breath in, "That's all I know."
Vanessa felt like her world was crashing down on her and she lowered herself to the ground, covering her mouth and remembering the last time she had to think about a plane crash - there were no survivors apart from one young girl.
"Where's Megan? I want to see my sister." Vanessa demanded and Jamie shook his head.
"She's not here - she never was."
"She's alive?" Vanessa breathed, completely in shock. Sure, she always liked to think Megan was alive but actually hearing it confirmed was like a breath of fresh air.
That was until she heard the familiar voice behind her and she broke down all over again.
"Lexie?" She stood up and ran over to the girl, hugging her as hard as she possibly could.
"I can go back - you have to come with me. I can go back which means you can too - you just got here the same as I did, you can come back." Vanessa spoke frantically, hoping that what she said was true.
"V, there was no saving me. I was trapped under a part of the plane." She explained and Vanessa closed her eyes, preparing herself to ask the question she didn't want to know.
"And everyone else?"
"I saw Cristina - she looked fine I think and Mer was okay. I think they found Derek in the woods and they spoke about Arizona so I guess she's alive but the fact that she didn't come with them when they found me leads me to believe she can't walk so she might not be fine," Lexie explained, trying her hardest to sidestep the one person she truly wanted to know about, "Mark was alive, when I was under the plane but before I came here I stuck around there for a bit - I don't know how this works - but he had cardiac tamponade." She rambled and Vanessa felt as if her heart was being ripped from her chest.
He was stranded in the woods with a fatal heart problem.
"You have to go back." Jamie repeated and she nodded her head in agreement. Lexie moved to stand in the line with Jamie and Charles as Vanessa stood in front of them.
"I'm not sure how much of this I'll remember and it's probably just a figment of my imagination anyway but...is there anything you want me to pass on - before I go?" Vanessa asked them and they all thought about it for a second.
"Tell Mark," Jamie started, "I say thanks for taking care of you. Oh! And Owen - I said hi. He can't say hi back but whatever."
"Tell Jackson I love him and tell Mark thank you for trying to save me." Lexie whispered, tears forming in her eyes.
"I'm good - I said my peace when I actually died." Charles shrugged and Vanessa laughed through her tears, hugging each of them in turn before turning toward the light and walking into it.
"Did she get there in time?" Charles asked, knowing that when he ran for the light he was too late.
"I'm not sure." Jamie muttered, praying that she did.
***
"We can't do much more." Jackson pointed out as they continued to shock Vanessa's heart.
"No. She's not dying again." Owen refused, tears already rolling down his face as the sound of his sisters flatline filled the OR just as it had been for the past ten minutes.
"It's over I-" Jackson choked back a sob, "She's not coming back."
"Shut up!" Owen screamed, continuing to shock her heart as more tears clouded his vision.
"Hunt. Let go."
"No." He sobbed, not letting go of the paddles that he held in her chest.
The sound that signified she had no heartbeat continued to sound through Owen's OR. the sound that would haunt even the best of his dreams - there was nothing he could do.
*********************************************
A/N: so here this is. 1 of maybe 2-4 chapters on the plane crash - sorry it's a bad start
the part where she's speaking to the dead is so cringey but that was kind of the point ya know
Thanks for reading :)