"Why the fuck did you bring her here?"
"Anna!"
"Why not?"
"No-one should know about this place." The high-pitched drone of a female voice snaps at the other person, my head slowly able to register the words that are being spoken around me.
"So, I should have just let her die?"
"Not necessarily, but you didn't need to drag her sorry ass here!"
"Where else would you recommend I take her?" The deep male voice retorts as my head begins to pound, already wishing I could go back under, away from their loud voices.
"How about the deserted houses in West Bridgford?"
"We don't even know if she's okay, Anna! That was one hell of a fucking drop."
"So? Didn't stop you from jumping in after her, did it, Kieran?" the girl yells. Can't they all just fucking shut up? My head feels like someone is banging on it like a drum, my body slowly regaining some feeling as I wake. Fuck, I ache all over.
"She was clearly wasted. I wasn't about to just let her drown!"
"Well, congratulations! Because of you, everyone is going to find out about all of us."
"No they fucking aren't!" the guy yells back, a clattering sound quickly following.
"Shh! She's waking up." A new voice exclaims, this person sounding a lot closer. I finally force my eyes open, looking up at the vaulted black ceiling, instantly feeling nauseous from the bright light.
"Shit," I exclaim, turning my head. The blonde girl next to me grins, sending me an awkward wave from her chair. A pale boy with piercing emerald eyes stands in the background, watching me warily, with his arms crossed as a tall brunette girl glares back at me, an instant dislike already apparent between us. "Where am I?" I wheeze out, attempting to manoeuvre myself into some form of sitting position.
"We're-"
"It's none of your business," the brunette snaps, cutting blondie off.
"What? You fucking kidnapped me?" I scoff, rubbing my hands over my painful eyes. I don't need this shit from her right now.
"No," the guy replies. "Please excuse Anna, she's always a bitter bitch," he snaps, earning a smirk from me as the brunette purses her lips. "I'm Kieran."
"Bridget." Blondie beside me grins, sitting back in her chair and crossing her legs.
"You saved me?" I ask Kieran, my eyebrows raised in curiosity.
"I saw an out of control chick throwing a bottle, and herself, into the fast flowing River Trent," he retorts. "I could hardly walk away."
"Thanks," I mutter.
"We have better things to be doing than rescuing suicidal idiots," Anna pipes up and I grit my teeth, wanting to stride over and slap her in the face, but knowing that any sharp movements will just have me puking my guts up.
"I wasn't trying to kill myself," I snap, glaring across at her.
"You weren't?" Bridget asks, all of them looking surprised by my answer.
"No," I reply. "My memory may be a little hazy, but I only wanted to chuck the bottle away."
"Good." Kieran grins.
We descend into a comfortable silence, my head thankful for it, eyes falling to the grey floor as I close my eyes.
"What's your name anyway?" Bridget asks, interrupting my peace.
"Why would I tell you that?" I retort. "I don't know you. You could be working for the State."
"Smart girl." Kieran nods, leaning back against the table behind him.
"So could you," Anna snaps. "Another reason why your body should be halfway to Scunthorpe by now."
I swear, if I wasn't absolutely hanging right now, this bitch would have my fist to answer to. With a sigh, I sit up straighter, ignoring the brunette and gazing around their relatively empty looking living space.
"I really appreciate you helping me." I smile at Kieran. "But please could you direct me back to the east side of town. I think I've outstayed my welcome."
"The east side?" Bridget echoes. "You're married?"
The question has my heart instantly aching, Zac's face filling my mind, reminding me exactly why I was drowning my sorrows. I grit my teeth, forcing his battered image out of my thoughts and look back up at the curious trio. "Yes," I reply simply.
"Isn't your husband going to be worried?" Kieran asks, an eyebrow raised.
"Maybe," I answer honestly, because really, who knows? Zac could be worried, I have no idea.
"I'll walk you." Kieran smiles.
"Thank you," I say, standing up from the black couch, the pressure in my skull nearly causing me to fall back down, my hangover taking over everything.
"It was nice to meet you!" Bridget grins as I begin to walk away, quickly shooting her a smile. Making my way out of the door, Anna quickly grabs onto my arm, scowling down at me.
"You better keep your mouth shut!" she warns.
"About what?" I snap, ripping my dirty looking arm away from her, absolutely done with this stupid idiot. "Your bitchiness?"
"Let her leave, Anna," Kieran calls back in a bored tone. Shooting her one final death glare I follow him out, unable to resist glancing up at the building as soon as we exit. The huge Victorian house has my eyes wide with surprise, the boarded up windows and battered appearance making it seem deserted. Maybe Nottingham isn't all it seems...
"Do you live here?" I can't help but ask, ignoring Princess Petty's warning words.
"No." He shakes his head. "Bridget is married so she has a house, probably near to yours," he explains. "The rest of us are still single, assigned to the communal houses."
"So, what is this place?"
"Just somewhere for us to hang out." He shrugs. "Pretend like the real world doesn't exist."
"Sounds perfect." I smile as we turn up an alleyway, out of sight of their cosy, unearthed secret.
"Why were you drinking so heavily?"
"I... I've been having a tough time."
"Not been getting on with your husband?"
"He's... not around."
"I see. It could be worse."
He's referring to something else, probably domestic abuse, but yet I cannot shake the thought of Zac in prison from my mind, already expecting him to have mental and physical scars that will haunt him until the end of time. "I'm not so sure," I mutter under my breath.
"This won't be forever."
"What?"
"Maybe the State will fall," he suggests and I let out a low chuckle. "Germain could die!"
"Sure." I smirk. "We can live in that dream world."
"You never know."
"I do," I reply, shaking my head at him. We descend into silence for a few minutes before we round the corner to the familiar looking street. "Thank you so much." I smile at him. "For saving me, and walking me back."
"That's okay." He grins, stopping and shoving his hands into his pockets. "Promise you won't drink like that again?"
"I can't do that," I admit, under my breath, a disappointed look covering his face before I step back. "Thanks, Kieran."
"You're welcome...." He trails off.
"Emilia." I fill in.
His eyebrows rise in surprise. "Emilia?"
"Yeah."
"Zac's bird?"
"What?" I exclaim. "You know Zac?"
"Uh, yeah." Kieran nods, reaching up and running his hand along his neck. "We used to..." He trails off, shaking his head. "Stay safe, Emilia," he warns before turning and disappearing back down the alleyway.
Very strange... Was that one of Zac's friends that he's always on about? Claudia and Jordan have never mentioned him, but then again, they haven't mentioned anyone to me. Are there more of them?
With a sigh, I turn back towards the road, my head pounding as I stumble down towards Hudson Street, wanting nothing more than to collapse on my bed and die. Why did I even think drinking would help me? The hangover always makes everything ten times worse.
Now, I am not only worrying about Zac, but I also feel sick to my stomach, my head pounding uncontrollably.
"Emilia?" The sudden exclamation from an irate Claudia has me groaning as I turn the street, my gaze rising to see Heidi, Sam, Rayden and Claudia. They're all standing outside my house, watching the bedraggled mess that is myself, walk towards them.
Just fantastic.
*~*~*
I sip on the burning vodka the next evening as I look up at the stars, struggling to keep a hold on my emotions, the familiar outline of Cassiopeia making me smile as I think of Zac.
Is he able to see the stars where he is? Are they allowed outside? Maybe...
Unless they're always outside, sleeping in cages under the night sky, him staring up at the stars at the exact same time I am.
I have no idea what the conditions at Killmoor are like, no-one except for those who have been there do. Sometimes I think it's best that I don't know. Whatever the answer is, it's hardly going to be a happy one.
I take another drink from my plastic cup, hoping that it will at least dull the edges of my pain and worry.
"Emilia?" A deep voice calls out and I don't even bother looking back, no energy left within me. Instead, I let my eyes roam the starry sky, spotting the plough quickly, a grin spreading across my face. When I was a child it was the only one I could ever find.
The sound of someone beside me makes me jump and I turn to see Rayden just before he sinks down next to me.
"Hey," I say softly.
"Are you okay?" he asks.
"What do you think?" I smirk, lifting the cup to my lips once more.
"What's that?" he asks, grabbing it and raising it to his nose. "Mils!"
"It's vodka." I shrug.
"Where did you get it?"
"They're having a party at number eight," I reply. "I slipped in for one."
"Mils, last time you drank," he reminds me, "you literally turned up covered in mud and looking like death-"
"I know what happened," I snap and he sighs, lifting the cup to his own lips and downing the contents. "Well, that's not fair!" I complain as he smirks.
"I needed some too," he admits, tossing the cup to the ground.
"Why?"
"This is tough for all of us, Mils."
"You don't even like Zac." I scoff, shaking my head.
"No," he replies. "But I know Kayla, almost as much as I know you. Plus, it's hard seeing you this way."
His admission has me staring down at the ground, too nervous to look anywhere else. Of course we care about each other, it's only natural after being in each other's lives for so long. I'd feel the exact same if it was the other way around.
"I remember when Kayla and I used to fight over who got to be with you," I reply, smiling slightly.
"They were tough days." He smirks and I nudge his shoulder as he laughs.
"I'm sure they were." I shake my head. "God, you were so damn popular." I cringe at the memory.
"School was weird," Ray replies and I nod.
"Remember the day we bunked off?" I remind him. "We spent the day behind the music room."
"Wasn't that when I was dating Kayla?" he asks, a guilty look filling his face.
"Probably." I giggle. "You two were on and off so many times."
"So were we."
"Yeah." I smile slightly at the memory of the clueless school kids who only cared about their social standing. "It's funny that none of it matters anymore. We were both popular, but now... it means fuck all."
"At least we still have each other." Ray points out and I grin, nodding as I turn to look at him.
As always I'm sucked in by his bright blue eyes, the sight of them almost reminding me of home, of the life that I once had. "Thank you for being here for me," I say, my words genuine. Sure, I have Heidi, but Sam, Rayden and Kayla are the only people who I know from before.
"There's nowhere else I want to be at this time," he replies lowly, smiling as he reaches up to push a strand of hair behind my ear. "You don't deserve this, Mils. You deserve only happiness."
"So do you," I say softly, unable to move away, his gaze hypnotising. I don't even think before I lean in, pressing my lips against his.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Eeeek! Please don't hate me too much... Just remember what a bad place she's in! Do you think Rayden will pull away, or will he play along?
(Obviously this is incomparable to what Zac is probably experiencing... I didn't mean it come across that way, they're both in bad places! Still no excuse, I know)
❤️