Home, let me come home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
"We can make it to Cloud Recesses by noon tomorrow if we leave now."
Ah Yuan was right.
The four of them travel all night long. The juniors insist that Ah Xian ride Little Apple, but he refuses to. He makes Jingyi ride it instead, despite Jingyi's lies that he would rather walk.
At first, Jin Ling continues to irritate everyone with the prospect of "just riding their swords"—until Ah Xian gives him a good thwack over the head for being an idiot, reminding him that someone doesn't have a sword handy. (Jin Ling claims as pridefully as he can that he will just be following the three of them to Cloud Recesses, to make sure Uncle Xian is settled. As if he isn't scared shitless of his uncle's wrath.)
When the four of them finally reach Cloud Recesses, it is just past the break of dawn.
Ah Xian's grip tightens on his flute. He feels nauseous in ways he can't describe.
Two guards stand at the doorway of Cloud Recesses. They blink away sleep and stand tall when they notice three junior cultivators, one dark-robed man and a donkey clop to a stop in front of them. Jingyi hops off Little Apple's back.
"State your business," one of guards says.
The other guard frowns when he recognises Jingyi and Ah Yuan. His expression transforms, eyebrows raising, "Halt—Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui? Lan Clan Junior cultivators."
Ah Yuan and Jingyi drop into bows. The two guards bow back.
"Forgive our absence," Ah Yuan says.
The guards turn to Ah Xian, "Who is this? State your business."
Ah Xian grins slyly.
Jin Ling scoffs, drawing all the attention, "I'm sorry—" he steps forward. "Did you just say who is this? Do you not know the Yiling Patriarch when you see him?"
The guard's eyes widen, "The Yiling Patriarch? Wei Wuxian?"
Jin Ling juts out his chin, "That's right."
"Alert Chief Cultivator Hanguang Jun."
Ah Xian's stomach tightens.
Alert Chief Cultivator Hanguang Jun.
Alert Lan Zhan.
One of the guards hurries into Cloud Recesses. The other turns back to the four visitors, expressionless again. "You may enter."
•••
Wei Wuxian hadn't thought about what he was going to do or say when he got to Cloud Recesses. To be honest, he doesn't even know what he's doing here. All he wants is to see Lan Zhan, to make sure he's okay... but, now... it turns out Lan Zhan is looking for him too.
Lan Zhan.
Why is Lan Zhan looking for him?
Is it similar to the reasons Ah Xian dropped everything and ran here at first notice of Lan Zhan's sickness?
Is it similar to the reasons Ah Xian still thinks of Lan Zhan in his dreams, during twilight hours, at the most random moments of the day? The expression, the jawline, the eyes, the frown... they appear in Ah Xian's hindsight without him even realising.
Lan Zhan.
Ah Xian closes his eyes. He hasn't seen that face in so, so long.
•••
"Advisor Zewu Jun!" Xichen looks up from his books as one of the security guards bows to him. "Advisor. I request the whereabouts of His Excellency, Chief Cultivator Hanguang Jun. He said to come directly to him if there was word about the two missing juniors, Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi, or the Yiling Patriach Wei Wuxian."
Xichen puts down his book, curiosity rousing, "What's the word?"
"Well—all three of them have entered Cloud Recesses, Advisor. Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi and Wei Wuxian."
Xichen's eyes widen.
He stands up so abruptly he almost loses composure. Clenching his teeth, he scrambles to get ahold of his thoughts... all three of them? The juniors have been found, finally. But—Wei Wuxian?
He's here so soon?
"Advisor. I request the whereabouts of His Excellency, Chief Cultivator Hanguang Jun so I may relay the news."
"He went to Back Mountain early this morning. Please find him and summon him here right now—but do not tell him about Master Wei."
"P-Pardon?"
"I repeat. Do not break the news to Wangji that Master Wei is here."
Xichen has to talk to that Wei Wuxian before Wangji sees him. Xichen has to make sure that the Lan Clan's intentions are very clear to Master Wei... Xichen has to remind Master Wei, once again—of everything that's at stake.
Xichen tightens his jaw.
"Tell His Excellency to meet me in the library. And I... I will take care of Master Wei."
•••
The sun is starting to peak over the top of bamboo trees, melting a warm glow into the sky. Wangji gazes up into the break of day, a gentle breeze sifting through his hair. He woke up in the middle of the night, torn out of his Wei Ying nightmare as usual. But this time, he didn't force himself to go back to sleep. He didn't bother playing his Qin. Actually, he came straight out here to Back Mountain. He has been here since midnight, his hands upon the soft fur of white bunnies—their unblinking, wonder-filled gazes calm Wangji better than any Song of Clarity.
"Your Excellency."
Wangji stiffens, removing his hand from a bunny.
"Your Excellency. Your presence is requested by Advisor Zewu Jun. I've been sent to tell you to meet him in the library."
"Is it urgent?"
The guard hesitates, "I... cannot answer, Your Excellency."
This perks Wangji's attention. He turns and stares suspiciously at the guard.
"Why?"
"Your Excellency, it's not my place to answer. I've been told... forgive me!" The guard bows.
After a moment longer, Wangji rises silently from where he'd been sitting on the grass. He casts a last look down at the lilting bunnies around his feet, already burdened by the thought of leaving them. He turns around and makes for the Main Courtyard of Cloud Recesses.
•••
The Main Courtyard is cleaner and wider than Ah Xian remembers. With every step Ah Xian takes into Gusu Lan Clan residence, the day brightens. At the same time, his footsteps weigh more. He hasn't been here in many, many moons.
Lan Zhan.
Ah Xian wonders why he hadn't thought of grabbing a drink from the Gusu teahouse first. It's too late now, isn't it?
Ah Yuan purses his lips, "Yes."
"Ahh.." Ah Xian sighs, then laughs it off. "I see, I see."
"Forgive me, Brother Wei."
"No, no! What for? What're you saying that for?" Ah Xian demands. He clasps a hand around the back of Ah Yuan's neck, jokingly threatening to throttle him. "You Lan Clan people—you're either too proud, or not proud enough. Ah Yuan, take some advice from your brother and be more like Lan Zhan—" Lan Zhan "—than, uhhh.... than not. Yes."
Ah Yuan doesn't reply for a long moment.
Finally he says, "It's Hanguang Jun, isn't it?"
"What?"
"The reason you want to drink. The reason you're asking for a teahouse right now. Do you feel like you need a drink before you see Hanguang Jun?"
"Whaaat?" Ah Xian scoffs. "No! What? Don't be ridiculous, that's... that's not why I asked for a drink. I'm an alcoholic, didn't you know?"
•••
There is an odd twinge to Wangji's steps as he nears the Main Courtyard. He doesn't understand it. There has seemed to be a strangeness in his heart and spirit all morning, and he doesn't have the faintest idea why. As he draws closer to the Main Courtyard of Cloud Recesses's, he feels the inexplicable push and crackle of the spiritual world caving in on him. He stops suddenly in his tracks, his head spinning. The air overwhelms him and the ground gives way beneath him.
"Your Excellency!"
There's the stagger of footsteps.
Hands wrap around Wangji's upper arms, holding him steady. Wangji sways, gaze slanted exhaustedly to the floor.
"Your Excellency..." the guard who had summoned him says in his ear. "Permission to take you to the library to meet Advisor Zewu Jun?"
"Permission granted."
Slowly, the world starts to come back. Wangji blinks, fighting to compose himself. He regains his ground, and when he's ready to continue walking towards the library, his eyes land instead on someone—
Someone.
Him.
Right there. In front of Wangji's eyes.
His heartbeat is almost at a standstill. His eyes lock intensely on the man clothed in black robes before him. Black robes, dark hair, emotion-filled eyes.
Him.
Wei Ying.
"Your Excellency... Your Excellency, are you alright?"
Wei Ying's eyes grow gently wider the longer their gaze holds. Wei Ying's lips part quietly, like he's going to say something, but then he stops. His lips fall shut again. He stares at Wangji with an unfathomable expression— guilt, unsureness, fear. But it's Wei Ying.
Wei Ying.
"Your Excellency, Advisor Zewu Jun is wai— oh.... M-Master Sizhui. Master Jingyi, Master Rulan," the guard hastens into a bow. "Master Wei."
"Hanguang Jun!" Jingyi. He bows. Beside him, Jin Ling flusters into his own bow. "Your Excellency."
"Your Excellency," Ah Yuan says.
Wei Ying says nothing. He only stares at Wangji with a growing warmth that eventually fills Wangji whole. Wholer than he has been in a long time. Finally, Wei Ying is smiling.
"Your Excellency... p-permission to take you to the library to meet—"
"No."